Righto! This was written by a friend who was irked by FullMetal Alchemist state alchemist fancharacters. Yes. Delete if nessessary! I'll be... over there. *flail*
QUOTE(Friend Who Doesn't Have a Death Wish)
No, You Would not be the Midnight Alchemist, and Here’s Why.
Hello, hello. Calling all FullMetal Alchemist fans. Have you ever created a fan character State Alchemist? I’m sure several of you have. Of course, you gave her (or him) the coolest State Title you could think of, right? Only natural. Unfortunately, that’s where things go wrong. The vast majority of these fan characters have overly fancified titles, totally unrealistic powers, and are generally wtferiffic. That’s what this essay is about. That isn’t to say that you can’t make and write about your hand-made State Alchemist, just that you should remember some rules. Of course, it’s not necessary that you listen to me, it’s your choice.
And now we’ll begin!
It’s the Führer’s World. You’re just Living in it.
And don’t you forget it! Anyway, we’ll start with the State Alchemist’s Exam, as it is where an aspiring alchemist may, or may not, catch their break. As every fan knows, to become a State Alchemist you have to pass an exam, overseen by our ol’ pal Führer President King Bradley himself. Obviously, any old alchemic parlour trick ain’t gon’ cut it, Junior. Remember, potential State Alchemists are trying to enter the military. They have to prove not only that their alchemy skills are absolutely top of the range, but that they are of some use to the State. This could mean they have weapon and martial art skills like Ed. Similarly, they could have something thoroughly destructive and artillery-like, such as Armstrong or Mustang’s powers. Both these examples reflect the fact that State Alchemists are tools for war. Although, there is also the bio-research avenue, like Shou Tucker’s chimeras or Marcoh’s stones. Point is, pretty, sparkly and ornate is not in the job description. Quick, concise and effective is what you want.
Now, About that Title…
Okay! So your mightymuffins OC has won through and is now a State Alchemist. Title time! I’ve seen a lot of people who seem to think you pick your own title. Wrong-o. Once again, the Führer owns your butt. He picks your title, and that’s final. No, you are not just so special and amazing that he’ll let you give yourself one. Now, of course you know that a title is derived from the kind of alchemy the person in question uses. Some people do seem to forget this, and will give their OC a title about their appearance or their general demeanour. It’s got nothing to do with alchemy, and the Führer would not give anyone a title about their amazing angelic beauty or the aura of deep, meaningful, sorrowful sorrow that exudes from their glittering amethyst eyes. C’mon. The man’s a homounculus. They do don’t do mush.
Anyway, I’ve noticed a general sort of pattern to the way titles are given. Most often, they’re blunt and obvious. (The Flame Alchemist, the Crystal Alchemist, the Silver Alchemist.) Occasionally, they’ll be a little on the poetic side, but still fairly clear. (The Iron Blood Alchemist, the Sewing Life Alchemist, the Crimson Alchemist.) And, rarely they’ll be a pun of sorts. (The infamous FullMetal.) But this is the exception, not the rule. It seems Mr. Führer occasionally gets lazy and gives someone a really painfully lame name. (Alex L. Armstrong: the Strongarm Alchemist. ORLY?)
But, the most important thing about picking a title for your OC is making sure it’s not taken. I’ve seen several Silver Alchemists sauntering about, when there’s already a perfectly good (and far more entertaining) one in the manga. Read the manga. Love the manga. Also, avoid calling your OC things like “the Fire Alchemist” or “the Red Alchemist” or “the CompleteSteel Alchemist.” Okay, that last one’s a joke, but really. Don’t. It makes you look like a lazy, mindless sponge.
Life, the Universe and Alchemy.
Ah, alchemy. Definitely the coolest thing about the series, and the most important thing to consider while making a State Alchemist fan character. Once your sight returns after being exposed to that blinding flash of the obvious, we’ll begin. I’ll skip over the obvious stuff like equivalent exchange and start with what alchemy can and can’t do.
Alchemy can not transform the human body all on its own. It can, however, combine it with something. This all means that your fan character can’t just clap her hands and give herself wings or cat ears or wolf tails from nowhere. They have to come from somewhere; otherwise she’s violating equivalent exchange, and that’s, y’know, bad. She could however be some kind of chimera, although the military would cart her off the instant she let it slip and she’d spend the rest of her miserable existence in a lab being picked apart.
Next, alchemy can not, I repeat, CAN NOT do f***-all with light. Light is a wave-length, not an element. Alchemy -which is just fancified chemistry- can only manipulate elements. There are some chemical reactions that release light, but you can not manipulate light with alchemy in any useful way. On that note, there’s even less alchemy can do with darkness. In fact, there’s nothing. Light is a wave-length, therefore darkness is the absence of a wave-length. You can’t transmute the absence of matter. Geddit? You can’t. No matter how much you might want a Midnight Alchemist, or a DarkSky Alchemist, or a DeepBlack Alchemist, it ain’t happenin’. Ever.
(I apologize for my language and snarkiness in the last section.)
But, alchemy can manipulate, control, and generally do cool things with things such as: Gold, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Lead, Plutonium, Oxygen, Zinc, and Sodium. Basically, any element or compound you can think of. See? You can do all sorts of awesome stuff and stay more-or-less within the canon.
And thus concludes my little guide. Keep writing and have a nice day!
<Merged "So You're A State Alchemist?" thread with 3 posts here. 07/12/07 ~Tombow>