I forgot to write the running bit frm the movie...; I just checked out chapter 53
(manga) the ending art was funny though! Heres 1 quote from chapter 53:
Scene where Ed jut came out of Gluttony's stomach-----
Al: BROTHER!!!!
Ed: *gets hugged so tight that more bones break and spits blood out*
Al:THANK GOODNESS YOUR OK!! BROTHER, BROTHER BROTHER!!
Ed: Ow, ow, ow, ow!! The amors edges are rubbing against me!! GYAAAHHH!! I'm going to break!! *more
blood*
Ling: ;
Al:Brother.... Thank goodness.... Your alive...
Ed: Geez, your overreacting!! You worry too much!! *still getting squished*

lmao that is good

I don't believe this has been done. Just post your favorite FMA quotes.
Mine include, but aren't limited to, these:
Greed: Him?
Boa: Yes.
Greed *takes off Al's head*: Oooh, cool, he's really empty!
Al: Grr..
Greed: Nice to meet ya, kid! My name's Greed. Let's be friends.

Greed: Oh, I'm sorry. Who the hell are you?
Izumi: I'm....PISSED OFF!

Hughes: My daughters gonna be three years old! <3
Mustang*pissed*: Hughes...I'm at work right now
Hughes: Really? Me too! It's just that she's so cute... *continues to rant about his daughter*
Mustang: I get it, stop bragging about your daughter!
Hughes: Hmph. I'm not just proud of my daughter. I'm proud of my wife to! The nerve!
Mustang: I wonder if you can fry people over the phone using alchemy..Care to find out, Hughes?
Hughes: I'm shaking in my boots, Mr. Flame Alchemist.

Breda: I bet he ruins it
Falman: I bet they don't even have a date.
Feury: I bet he chickens out before he even sees her.
Hawkeye: You realize your all betting against him?
Breda, Flaman, and Feury: Safest bet!

Al: She sure is energetic...
Hughes: Yeah, she'd make a great wife. Not as great as mine, of course...
Ed: Don't tell me that! And stop bragging!

Winry: Elicia, how old are you?
Elicia: Tw-.....Three!
Winry and Hughes: So cute! <3

Secretary: Hughes, you weren't bragging about your family again over the phone, were you?
Hughes: Huh? Are you jealous, too? My daughters gonna be three. Wanna see a picture?
Secretary: No, I don't! It's bad enough having to listen.
*Hughes kissing the photo, not listening*
Secretary: If the higher ups are listening, they'll cut your salary!
Hughes: It'll take more then a salary cut to dampen my love!


I guess I should hog all the quotes to myself...So post your favorite quotes.

(Threads merged.)

Al:A dog?
Ed:we can't a pet. we travel so much and we don't even have a real home.
Fuery:that's what i thought
Ed:you're too nice.master sergent. You shouldn't have brought back a dog when you don't even have the means to take care of it. Right,Al?
Al:eep!
cat:meoooow Scrach scratch Scrach scratch
Ed:YOU PICKED UP ANONTHER CATAND YOU'RE HIDING IT IN THER,AREN'T YOU,AL!?
Al:BUT IT LOOKED SO COLD ,TREMBLING IN THE RAIN!!! CAN I KEEP HIM!?
Ed: NO!! TAKE IT BACK TO WHERE YOU FOUND IT!!
Al:YOU'RE SO MEAN,ED!IHATE YOU!
Ed:DON'T RUN!1THINK OF THE POOR CAT!!

From the manga

Any quotes involving Hughes and Alicia are priceless. Probably my favorite...

Hawkeye:
"Let me offer a bit of feminine wisdom - babies aren't born after just five months!!"

Don't think this one's been used yet...

Marta: "Come on Ed, are you trying to make me into a cannibal?"

From this week's episode. Marta kills a snake and tells Ed to eat it and Ed asks why she doesn't eat it herself. I think the Japanese line was slightly different, but it's the same premise.

I found this quote amusing in the manga.

*Both exhausted and hungry*
ED: Did you know, Ling? Leather goods are edible. In a movie I saw when I was a kid, there was a scene where they cooked and ate shoes. Ah! Damn! I don't have a pot... I'll just transmutate the stuff around here and there...
LING: ...Hey...
ED: For water... I can purify this sea of blood...
LING: Heeeey... You bastard... If I become emperor I'll have Xing historians bad mouth you as "the man who fed shoes to the emperor"
ED: Really? All right! Make it something cool like "Edward Elric carved his name into Xing history" okay?

Most of Hughe's family quotes are hilarious, along with Roy's useless moments xP

Hahaha!! ^^ I love that quote!! That part of the Manga is funny.......

I don't have any quotes today..... But I remember in the omakes section I think they put "Yo!" into the speech-thingy where Ed raises his hand like a gun... And when its in the credits section, they put "We want your fanart!" and bla bla bla....
And Merry X'mas~~~~

Episode 27 Teacher

Younger Ed(to Yeacher):Hey there, 'OLD' lady...
(Izumi immediately body slams them both.)
*Her face including Ed and Al's looked too funny when the area uproared lol*
Izumi(now calm, to Ed and Al): One word of advice, don't call me old...

Episode 29 (The Untainted Child)

Al(to Mason *Izumi Helper, referring to Wrath*):And you sure you never seen this boy before?
Mason: No trust me, I never would send a little kid out here alone...In that case I would have just look after you two by myself, like I did before...
Al:Look after us?! You nearly killed us!
Mason:Hey I was just doing my job...Besides Izumi said it would toughen you guys up a bit...
Ed(to Izumi): Nearly starving and getting our asses beat was supposed to toughen us up?!
Al(also to Izumi):What kind of person are you?!

I thought that was funny also when they were on that island and was acting beserk, when they found out Mason was actually the guy that was attacking them the whole time on there...

There is few others, they will have to pop up in my head though...lol

Maes had a few funny one's too, it really makes me laugh when one min he be joking around, then the next min gets real serious. I'm pretty sure you guys noticed it, he does it all the time...

(Chapter 52)

Ed: NWAAHHHHHHH! Conveniently awaken, my TELEPATHIC POWER! ELRIC TELEPATHY! ACCEPT THE MIND-LINK, LITTLE BROTHEEEEER!

---

Ed: "IF THERE IS NO EXIT, THEN MAKE ONE!" is my motto.

---

Lin: You bastard... if I become emperor, I'll have Xing's historians badmouth you as "the man who fed shoes to the Emperor"...

Ed: Really? ALL RIGHT! Make it cool like "Edward Elric carved his name into Xing History!" Okay?

---

Sorry for the ch 52 addiction tonight

This is a very well known one and if someone already posted this shoot me twice in the head.

Humankind can not gain anything, without first giving something in return.To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is Alchemys first law, of equivilent exchange.In those days, we really belived that to be the worlds one, and only truth.-Alphonse Elric

And now Toby presents; Lines that make us all giggle unintentionally.

"Hey, Colonel. Could you reach into my pocket for me...?"
-Havoc

"Do you have any white sausage left?"
-Edward

"Lengthen it, Fullmetal!"
-Roy

Elysia: Mom, how come? Why are they burying Daddy? Who are those people? Why are they burying him? Why? They can't! I don't like it! Daddy said he had lots of work to do, and if they bury him, he can't do it when he wakes up! Stop them, Mommy! Daddy needs to do his work. He told me! Why are you letting them bury Daddy, Mommy? Why? Daddy, wake up!


Al: Who are you people?
Marta: We're kidnappers.
Al: Who are you kidnapping?

XD

poor kiddo. *glomps Elycia*

All 100% purely from Bluebird's Illusion---- (translated by me from chinese to english)
-----------------------------------
Ed and Al are in the central library, suddenly the light flashes:
Al: Brother, whats happening?
Ed: This is Central Library, Al-
*lights go out*
Ed: There shouldn't be a problem....
Al: Brother...In these kind of situations... Can we call it "Crow mouth"...
Ed: ....
Al: ...
Ed: .........
Al:............
Ed: .......................
Al: Brother...? Are you still there? Say something...Brother!!!!
Ed: Wait, don't say anything yet, theres some sound comming from that side!
Al: What sound?
Ed: It seems like Schezka.. It loocks like the power lines has some problems, lets find our way back out Al...
Al: Then brother, do you still remember the way that we came?
Ed: Yeah...Maybe...
Al: Brother we came from that side, we should go the way we came...
Ed: This side right? ...But, which way??
"Falman steps on Ed's foot"
Ed: WHO STEPPED ON MY FOOT!!!???
Falman: Oh, sorry!
After a while----------------
Al: Brother, why are you running for your- Ah! Ouch~
Ed: What happened, Al?
Al: A book fell off the shelf and hit my head...
Ed: Is it this book...Huh?
Al: What is it brother?
Ed: Why is this book wet?
Al: Brother...th-that wouldn't be someone's...sa-saliva...
Ed: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *drops the book, hits his own foot* T_T
After passing lots of shelfs-----
Al: We finally came out~
Ed: Its just like HELL!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed becomes King Bradley's secretary.....
Ed: *sigh* Today I have to go kill that large pile of documents..... (When I think of tomorrow, a pile of human-killing work.....*sigh*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At home, Ed is attempting to cook dinner for Al and himself......
Ed: AHHHHH!!!
Al: ...................
Ed: This.... What is it.....?
Al: .........................
Ed: WAAAAAAAA! Why is it on fire~
Al: ...........................
Ed: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why did it turn out like this!?
Al: Brother.... Are you ok...?
Ed: .............................
Al: Need my help?
Ed: Sorry, Al.............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the train station.....Ed and Roy......
Roy: Fullmetal............
Ed:WHAT????!!!!!!!!!
Roy: Careful...................
Ed: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roy: The lil' ghost that dosen't listen to adults, walking in a thik pole is very reasonable..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Ed disappears..........Roy searches the HQ...........In the Information Room...........
Roy: Huh? This seems like Fullmetal's writing... "Wish 1: To grow as tall as 1.90m!!!! Wish 2: Help Al get his body back.... Wish 3: BEAT ROY MUSTANG!!!!" I didn't know I could still get in the lil' bean's wish list~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Ed disappears..........Roy searches the HQ...........The garden.........
Roy: At this time, there shouldn't be anyone here....Huh?
Fuery:...The General seems to be looking for something....
Falman: Yes, I think so too! And the object he's looking for is very important...
Havoc: Yeah, he used to always like to stay in his office and not come out; Now once he has spare time, he goes walking!
Breda: But he looks like he dosen't want anyone to know he's searching for something...
Fuery: I don't know if we could help him look for it...?
Havoc: I bet he wouldn't find us to help him....
Falman: Maybe what he's doing is something top secret, the less people know, the better...
Breda: But we are his subordinates...
Roy: *now pissed* If you guys are my subordinates, then don't talk behind my back...!
All 4: GENERAL!!!!! We swear we didn't talk behind your back~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
END

Two of my favorites are by Greed and Lust:

There's no such thing as no such thing." - Greed

I guess you have passed the age for breast-feeding - Lust

I Loved this quote from the TV series
episode 22 Created Human

Hughes talking on the phone in his pajamas

Hughes: What are you doing calling me this late?
Mustang: Well there's been something that's been bothering me for a while.
Hughes: What? That we haven't caught Scar or is this about Dr. Marcoh being taken into the Fuher's custody?
Mustang: Yeah well ok there's that too. But mostly it's that I haven't made an appearance lately.

Hughes hangs up the phone

Hughes: What an egomaniac. He dosen't realize the mess we're in.

What a classic

I think there are spoilers below..

Izumi: Damnit, where is Alphonse?
That guy( Can't remember the name):...Maybe...He got kidnapped)
Izumi and him look at each other
Izumi: Haha, yeah right!
Him: Yeah, no kidding!

*shows Al in chains in the Devil's Nest*


Ed: Hey, you're not Envy in diguise, are you?
Ling: Why do you say that?
Ed: Prove your him!
Ling: Weeelll....How about I list from the top the menu of the room service we ate at the hotel?
Ed; You're the real Ling
Ling: Prove you're the real Ed, be-
Ed: WHO'S A BEAN?
Ling: Yep, you're him.

Riza: Al, run away from here! You at least have to live!
Al: No!
Riza: Al!
Al: I can't take it! Because of me...*shows a picture of Nina, Alexander, Hughes, and Marta* People have died because of me being powerless! I just can't take that anymore! I can't stand watching someone I could have protected die before my eyes!


Al was just so amazing in that scene.

^^ Oh yes! Al was AWESOME in that scene!! Al in Manga kicks major butt!!

Al: You're a man!

Barry: Guilty as charged!

Ancy:*stares at Ed* Ed onii-chan is cute.
Ed:wha..wha?? hahahaha.... ;;

Ed (to Roy):DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from 2nd novel

I agree, I love him in the anime, but manga Al....Simply said, his character takes my breath away.



Barry: Hey, can I chop people up at night?
Falman: Hell no, dumbass.



I also like it when Havoc blows smoke through Barry XD


Havoc: I got a girlfriend! She's so sweetm, helping me with my movig...
Barry:Would it be fun to chop her up?
Falmon *sobbing* Please go away...

If someone has already posted this you can kill me but here's some of meh faves:(May contain slight spoilers)

Riza: Lt. Fuery,In your last physical exam we discovered althlete's foot and we now believe it is affecting your brain.
I cracked up when I saw that.Here's another

*Dante(Lyra?) and Edward are having a VERY serious moment talking about the law of conservation*
Ed: *something about the rumors of the philosophers stone* Why did you spread those rumors?
Lyra:That way humans wouldn't get near it.And for those who do,we use as a sacrafice.I'm doing this so that foolish humans won't die.
Ed: SHUTUP!(sumthin like that.Not very good at translating Japanese.All american lol)
*Gluttony busts in the door and ruins the moment*
Gluttony: Lust!Lust!
*Ed and Lyra trying to keep the moment while Gluttony is shouting Lusts name over and over again*
Gluttony: Lust!What happened to Lust?
Lyra: Ask Him,Gluttony
*Gluttony bites Edward's arm.the metal one thank god lol*
Gluttony: Lust!Where is Lust?
Edward: It's my fault shes dead...
*Gluttony nearly faints and stumbles over to some place that I am to lazy to name*

The End

Roy: It's the Ultamite Freak show!"

And, of course, the quote in my sig.

Roy: What are you talking about, Ba-
...
Roy: Bunny! It's so nice to talk to you! But it's forbidden to talk on the military line
Barry: Yah, sowwee~ Bunny just really wanted to talk to you~
Roy: It can't be helped. I'll just switch lines.
Barry: O~kay <3
Roy switches lines.
Barry: It's me. Are you done acting like an idiot, weirdo?

Hmm...I LOVE this from the Manga..so funny:

In Rushvalley...just after Ed had a crowd of people adore his automail:

Winry: Everybody here is so devoted to their research!

Ed: (stripped to his underwear) THAT'S NO EXCUSE TO STRIP ME TO MY UNDEWEAR IN PUBLIC! *twitch*

Al: (evil look) Ah Ha Ha! Look at you, Big Brother! I bet there aren't many State Alchemists who strut around Main Street in their underwear!

Ed: (twitch) How funny you should mention it, Brother Dear, seeing as you never wear anything but a loincloth!

Al: (cowers in corner..T_T) It's not a Loincloth!



haha!...so great!

I remember that scene xD


Roy: Falmon will play the role of being confined by a serial killer-
Falmon: ?
*Thumping sound*
Roy: What was that?
Barry: It was to difficult to explain, so he "fainted" on me.
Roy: Is that so...

Hoho- Why in the blazes are you addressing your father as a bastard for?
Ed: You're not just a bastard, you are THE bastard!

Al: So Ling's the Son of an Emperor?
Al and Winry *thinking*: A Prince! *Imaging Ling in a stuffy outfit with a stallion in the backround*
Al and Winry snigger
Ling: Ran Fan, am I being made fun of?
Ran Fan: Shall I kill them?

"It's going to rain today...."

From the saddest episode ever. Oh and it really is going to rain where I live.

any quotes involving roy n hughes talking on the phone is funny but my fave one is:
episode 5:
hughes: im telling you roy, ever since she got pregnant shes even hotter than the love goddess its the miracle of hormones,its like this angel fell from heaven n kissed her on the ------
roy slams phone
hughes:aww...stupid phone...cutting off my conversations, I cant do anything around here
falman:YOU'RE THE ONE WE CANT DO ANYTHING WITH!now how am i supposed to keep a tight security with a family of 4 and a love bird?
hughes:so how am i supposed to deal with it if she has the bsby tomorrow i mean emotionally?
roy:HUGHES! you've told me this 50 times already, If you're having problems containg yourself take it up with you WIFE!
hughesI already have Roy!
roy:*snaps his fingers* THEN DONT ASK ME
riza:im sorry to interrupt, major let me give you some femine adivce BABIES ARENT BORN AFTER JUST FIVE MONTHS

episode 13:
roy: THAT DAY ALL FEMALE OFFICERS WILL BE REQUIRED TO WEAR TINY MINISKIRTS!!!
*havocs nose starts to bleed riza sighs with the mushroom cloud*
havoc: you're a miracle mustang I'll follow you for the rest of my life
roy: YES!

i got more lolz but too lazy to type lol

XP
*from the manga*
Hohenheim:.......you've left your hair long...
*small pause*
Hohenheim: in the same the same style as mine as well.
Ed: \_/!!! *totally pissed off*
*Ed braids hair angrily* *turns to Hohenheim*
Ed: *evil look* *walks off*

XD i found that hilarious.

Hmm, well I can't remember my favorite ones in the anime; which is pretty much all that make me laugh/cry/yell/etc. But I do have a favorite in the manga:

Envy: Wait a minute!!! I don't want to fight with you pip-squeak...
Edward: Fifth Time!!!
Envy: !? Wha.. Wha.. What are you talking about?
Edward: Now and then makes two times!! And in the basement of the fifth laboratory you called me pip-squeak three times!! I won't let you forget!!
Envy: ...What a memory...

Man you just gotta love Ed's over-reactioness. Well at least now there's proof he can remember, if he wants too.

Hahaha!! OMG!...That is one of my favorite moments in the Manga....Ed's reaction....and Envy...it's priceless!..hehe

-nods- Oh yes, it was. Without it, I don't know the next time I would feel like that in the manga. I swear I was holding back so many giggles. Would have been a lovely moment in the anime, if the anime Envy wasn't so different. Still at least the manga has it, and that's enough for me.

Here's one I love!


(At the train station)

Hughes: "I've got a message from Roy."
Ed: "You mean the Colonel?"
Hughes: He said, (dropping his voice lower to imitate Mustang) "Don't die under my command, you're enough of a pain without the paperwork" That was it.
Ed: Tell him fine, there's no way I'm dying before you do, you morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex.

Its been many years since Edo and Hoho have seen each other:

Hoho: Aaaaa, Edo, do you still hate milk?
Edo: Gkk! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE HASNT'T GROWN A BIT?!?!
*Edo punches Hoho on the cheek leaving a really big gash in his face...*
Hawkeye, Winry, Scheska: Thats no what he meant....


another one everybody will know.

Roy: !!! I am the Flame Alchemist!
Riza: *trips Roy over so he falls on his ass* *Shoots Scar like hell*
Scar: *runs for sheet*
Riza: Taisa! Stay back! You're useless in the rain!
Roy: Hnnk!!

Riza Hawkeye - 1 Roy Mustang - 0

Hughes (on phone): *in serious voice* Oh...and one more thing...
Roy: ?
Hughes: Hurry up and get married!!
Roy: URUSAI!! *slams phone*
RIza: Taisa! Please slam that phone quietly!

Riza Hawkeye - 2 Roy Mustang - 0

The first person I killed was my wife.She was nagging me about something stupid and I accidently chopped her to bits.~Barry the Chopper

*Scar blasts a hole in the street and escapes into the sewer*
Havoc: Ah,the old sewer escape trick.
Roy: Don't go in there.
Havoc: Yeah,because was already to jump right in.

My fav has to from the "The other brothers Elric pt1" when I watched it on Youtube. I think the subtitles had been messed with when I read this;
Ed(on his swollen cheek):He clobbered me like I was a child molester.

That kind of caught me off gaurd and had me in stitches for ages.

agreed

Roy Mustang: What's the frown for?
Riza Hawkeye: The plan was perfect, you did your part. I didn't get there in time.
Roy Mustang: Nothing's perfect, the world's not perfect, its just doing the best it can. But that's what makes it so beautiful. (While reaching up to touch Riza's hair)
(Riza shoves an apple slice in Roy's mouth)
Riza Hawkeye: Shut up and eat.

==========================

Havoc: If I look past her freakish strength and focus on what matters: her looks, her sense of fashion, her estate, her lineage... it all adds up! I suppose I---I REALLY *HAVE* HIT THE MOTHERLODE!!!

==========================

Referee: Nah, I couldn't possibly ask *this* shrimp! Take on the champ...
Edward: I'm not a shrimp!
[leaps at the referee, but is held back by Alphonse]

Referee: Whoa, you're a pretty feisty shrimp, aren't ya? Looks like you salvaged that automail from the bottom of a scrap heap!
[*lol* I love Winry's expression here]
Winry : Alphonse... Let go of your brother.
Alphonse (nervous): Yes, ma'am.

==========================

Edward (while crawling through airvent): Dammit! This is smaller than I thought! See, if I was normal-sized I wouldn't have fit, and we would have had to call this off. It really is a good thing I'm so small.

Edward (realizes what he just said) : ...

Edward: AAAUGHH! NO IT'S NOT!

==========================

Pinako: Heh! Yet it seems like you've gotten smaller!
Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL YOU MINIATURE SIZED HAG?
Pinako: You're shorter than your temper.
Ed: YOU'RE SO SHORT YOU'RE TWO-DIMENSIONAL!
Pinako: Automail moron!
Ed: Grandma flea!
Armstrong: Edward Elric! (takes off shirt and poses) How dare you speak to your elder with such blatant disrespect! Let ME remedy this fight with my genteel decorum!
Pinako: (sweatdrop appears on forehead) Who the heck is this guy? He really doesn't get the joke, does he.

==========================

Maes: Gracia!
Gracia: Honey... It's here!
Maes: The tea?
Gracia: The baby!
Maes: Aaugh! But... but the doctor said next week!
Gracia: Well, the BABY says NOW! And I'm pretty sure SHE gets to CHOOSE!

==========================

Store Owner: What are you, street preformers?
Edward: I don't think so, pops! Do I look like a clown to you?!

Tenko

Barry the Chopper (In a robe): Missy, shall I escort you?
Rza: No, it's okay, I'm fine on my own
Barry: Are you sure? There are really dangerous guys out a night. LIKE BARRY THE CHOPPER! *pullls out butcher knife*
*Riza turns around and shoots him*
Barry: Unacceptable! Being attacked by me and you are NOT scared! Look at this and scream your lungs out! *pulls off helmet*
*Riza shoots him again*




*Later*

Barry: Missy sure is strong, by the way.
Riza: Don't change the subject
Barry:....I really like strong women <3
Riza; . . .
Barry: Missy, I think I'm in love!

i noticed that nobody posted the full quote...so here we go...

"that's a stupid question, havoc. i say it because it's true. and when i'm fuhrer, there will be changes...that day, all female officers will be required to wear TINY MINISKIRTS!!"

and my personal favorite:

"you can call me roy mustang. or just lieutenant colonel. hell, you can call me the flame alchemist. whatever you do, remember the pain."

and one by vic mignogna...technically he's ed's american seiyuu...so i think it counts...

"for those of you who have not seen or heard of Fullmetal Alchemist, well may God have pity on you."

Denny Bloch: (to Ed) I'm sorry sir, sorry! I just thought you'd be fuller... and more... more metal!

* Catherine: In my dreams I always imagine a guy like you, but with a more muscular physique like my brother's. Let's forget this ever happened.

* Armstrong: Guess it wasn't meant to be. Hmmm. Shall I inform the chief?

* Hohenheim: Edward. So, do you still hate drinking milk?
* Ed: (loses temper and punches Hohenheim) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICRO-SIZED HALF-PINT WHO DIDN'T GROW UP BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DRINK MILK?!
* Winry, Riza, Schiezka (in unison, in a funny sorta tone): That's not what he said, Edward...!

this is funnier when you actually watch it.

a question is thrown at the crimson alchemist during the south hq assault..
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?!?
kimbley: perhaps you should ask him (referring to the Fuhrer

but the Fuhrer is actually Envy

Fuhrer/Envy: *--Like i'd know!!--*

I'm amusing myself by reading this topic. Darn, these are funny!

Couple of my favorites:

(2nd novel: Abducted Alchemist (Does this count? Naw, whatever))

*Roy talking to some ladies and shows Ed to mind his own business. Ed makes up very evil plan*
Ed (to Roy): Dad!
Roy: Dad? Dad!? I don't believe this.

Roy: Man, first time I see you in how long has it been, and you pull this idiotic stunt?
Ed: It has been a long time, and you wanted to wag me away with your finger? How rude!

Havoc: *walks in and sees punch of paper airplanes on the floor* Err... sir? What exactly are you doing?
Roy: I've been reading my letters of encouragement from Central Command. *picks up a new letter, reads it out aloud and makes paper airplane out of it*
Airplane: *when thrown* Fwip...
Havoc: So... Any insights from your experiments in paper aviation?
Roy: I've discovered a correlation between the rank of the writer and the aerodynamic qualities of finished plane. The higher the rank, the better they fly.
Havoc: You don't say. So, were I make a paper airplane out of one of your letters, Colonel, it would go about here? *points a spot in a middle of the room* And one of mine would land about... here?
Roy: No, I'm afraid your twisted sense of humor interfers with flight adjustments. You'd end up somewhere around here. *points towards wastebasket*

Fuery: Colonel, sir! It's your son! He's been kidnapped!

*Roy and his subordinates are 'talking' about Roy's 'son'*
Breda: Are you sure you don't have a kid?
Roy: Yes! No!
Fuery: No kid?
Roy: None! Not a one!
Falman: Not even a little one?
Roy: None at all!
Havoc: Colonel, Colonel. *claps Roy to the shoulder*
Roy: What?
Havoc: Be honest.

*dies* That is best one of the three novels! I love that! *dies again*

ROFL! Those are great!
Sorry if someone posted this already but here [From Wikiquote]

Fullmetal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir

Edward: Uhm... There's something I need to ask you, Colonel. It's this ring...
Mustang: I'm sorry, but I cannot accept this from another man.
Edward: It's not for you, damn it!
Hughes: Oh, so you're giving it to a girl? Blossoming early, eh shrimp?
Edward: NO! that's not it! What I meant is, do you know anything about this ring?
Mustang: It looks like a old ring to me, is there something special?
Edward: Well, I thought you might know something, but never mind...
Hughes: Something's fishy here, and it ain't cod.

(After a few seconds...)

Hughes: Wait! You're not planning on wooing my daughter, are you?!!
Edward: Excuse me?
Hughes:...Roy, let's grill this shrimp up. I'll get the skewers...
Mustang:....And I'll provide the flames.
Al: How could you, Brother, wooing a girl in the age of two!
Edward: SHUT UP!!!



Edward: (walking in the desert) It's hotter than two chimeras mating in a boiler room..
-

Edward (after Al bumps into him): What's the matter Al--Did you forget how to walk in a straight line--Stop bumping into me!
Al: S-sorry... th-these spooky places give me the creeps.
Ed (laughs): I can't believe you got the heebie-jeebies, Al! You're a big suit of armor! Look at the Lieutenant; walking all bravely up there, leadin' the way--and she's just a girl!
(Hawkeye turns suddenly around to face Ed; gun pointed at his head)

Ed: Ahh-Wha!! Wh-wh--wh-whoah! Put that down, Lieutenant! I didn't mean to insult you in anyway, I swear! I just ment 'cause you're--
(Hawkeye fires three times; just above Ed's head. Al drops to the ground, covering his helmet with his arms in fear.)

-

Ed: Jeeze, don't you guys know how to come onto a scene--without *making* a scene? You're so attention starved!
Roy Mustang: Right... You knew I'd have to show my face sometime. So, how have things been going, Full Metal? Look's like this was a close call--guess that means you owe me one.
Ed: I don't owe you anything! These golems couldn't get a inch on--WWAAAHHHH!
(Roy snaps his fingers, making a bomb go off right behind Ed, sending him flying forward; killing the monsters, but made the corpses pile up on Ed in the process.}

Roy: Now, you owe me two.
Ed (as he struggles to get loose): Arghh!! If you're my backup--then back me up!!
Roy (laughs): That's funny. But, I'm not here for backup, Full Metal.
Ed: Erhh...Huh?
Roy: You fought bravely enough. Now, you can leave it in the hands of the state.

FullMetal Achemist: Broken Angel

Voice over train speaker: We are the People's Eastern Revolution Front. We have assumed control of this train. I repeat, we are the--
Al: People's Eastern Revolution Front? Sounds like a bunch of names cut and pasted together.
-

Terrorist One: Alright you!--What the? Who are you freaks? You heard the announcement, didn't ya? This train is now under the control of the Eastern Liberation Federation!
Al: I guess they changed their name since the anmoucement.
Ed (sighing): I just can't take this anymore. Uh--Hey wait, weren't we just in a situation like this!?
Al: Yeah, we were.
Ed: Someone must have put a curse on us...
Terrorist Two: Hey, you in the armor and shorty! (Ed twitches angrily) Who gave you permission to chat!? Just shut up and fork over the valuables!
Terrorist One: This is perfect! Okay, you (to Armstrong)--take the goods from the muscle man in the armor, and get your butt over here, shorty!
Ed: (cringes as his eyes silt black; veins pulsing all over his face) Who are you calling shorty!?
Terrorist One: Heh--You, of course! Who the heck else is there? --You shorty!
Ed: ( He charges ragingly as he claps, transmuting his automail into a hammer) WHO ARE YOU CALLING THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS' TINIEST SHORTY!?! (--and slugs the first terrorist out of the train, sending him flying off into the distance)
Armstrong: Impressive, Edward Elric!
-

Genz Bresslau: I am Genz Bresslau, the "Armor-Piercing Alchemist," and the strongest in the military!
Al: Eep... But I've never heard of you.
Ed: And just WHO says you're the strongest in the military, anyway? Your mom doesn't count, you know.
Genz Bresslau: Wait... You guys can't be...? Yer not "Fullmetal Alchemist" Edward Elric, are you?
Al: Gosh, Brother, you're a celebrity!
Ed: What's it to you? Do you want me to sign your forehead or something?

I don't think this has been mentioned, but when i first saw this one from the episode where Scar and Lust got into it and destroyed the branch library it flew by me that first time, and then i saw it again and laughed.

Roy: And Scar, any sign of what happened to him?

Hughes: There's evidence of the fight dragging into the sewers, his blood stained clothes washed up further down stream...we don't know if that means he's dead or just naked.

lol That part makes me laugh too when Hughes say that, he sounds funny when he says it...

I'm pretty sure these have been put up, hopefully not though (lol)

(Episode 47)

Ed: Dammit there's so many idiots who asses I have to kick! I'll have to carry a list just to keep track of them all...

(Episode 37, sorry don't know it word for word lol)

Roy: Stop freaking out!
The rest of the crew: Will stop freaking out, when eveything stops jumping out!
Roy: Why do I have such a pathetic staff!

(Episode 18)

Hughes(to Roy): My best advice to you, is to found close friends. Friends, that will be by your side, and willing to support you. Which is I why offer you this crucial advice. (whispers) You'll find yourself a wife....

Roy(slams the phone): Give it a rest!

---

Okay thats all I have in my head so far (lol)

Hughes (To Roy): We've got news
Roy: You've sighted Scar?
Hughes: No, you obsessed idiot. How can that be good news?? Have you forgotten? Tomorrow is Elysia-chan's birthday!!

Has this been posted before? Well, most probably, but I can't go through all the pages. Sorry.
I forgot which episode this is in.

This is from, Episode 8

Al: Interesting. It seems that Mr. Tucker was doing a lot of research on the Philosopher's Stone.
Ed: Well, whoop-dee-flippin'-do.

My absolute favorite quote comes from Roy Mustang while driving with Riza after she tells him that those under him (Havoc, etc.) admire him. He responds, "What good is admiration from other men..." That made my day when I heard it. I also like when Armstrong says, "I'm going to chop about a year's worth of firewood." That second quote may not be exactly right, but its close enough.

Also in episode 43, I like it when Armstrong goes the other military men and tells them in response to "Aren't you supposed to be looking after Mustang?", "Do you doubt the integrity of a man who's muscles can do this?" That soooo random and soooo Armstrong. I love it.

Very hysterical fun!
My favorite moments in this episode....now here's my fave to make you laugh...

Ed Elric: [speaking through a speakerphone he created] Attention, Gun-toting extremists! You hear me alright? Or did you blow your ears out playing target practice?
Gunman #1: What the hell... is that?
Ed Elric: Let the hostages go! You've got no right to drag these travelers into your personal politics!
Bald: You're one of Mustang's secret agents, aren't you? Interfere and I'll kill these hostages, one by one.
Ed Elric: You're just itching to draw blood, aren't you? Alright!
[a large pipe appears through the door]
Gunman #2: Looks like... a pipe.
Ed Elric: Okay, passengers! Hold onto your seats, and get ready for some turbulence!

Ed Elric: [to Magwar, in response to imposter Elric brothers] I told ya before, let's take care of those kids first. It's been a while since I've killed anyone. I kinda miss it. [his eye turns to Magwar with a sick, scary grin] You wanna watch?

Roy Mustang: [stops in the hall and strikes a pose] That day all female officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts!
Jean Havoc: [falls to his knees with a nosebleed and rubs his face on Mustang's leg] You're a miracle, Mustang! I'll follow you forever!
Roy Mustang: Yes.

Ed Elric: Who are you calling so short you want to squish like an ant?
Al Elric: Calm down, he never said anything like that!
Ed Elric: But he was thinking it.

Maes Hughes: [showing Ed a photograph of his daughter] Look! Can you believe how big Elicia's gotten? She can even ride a tricycle now! She follows me everywhere on that thing, like my own escort of cuteness. [kisses photo]
Ed Elric: Yep, you're the same as ever, Major - nice and insane.

Referee: [about Ed in an arm wrestling match] Nah, I couldn't possibly ask *this* shrimp! Take on the champ... [laughs]
Ed Elric: [enraged like hell] I'm not a shrimp! [leaps at the referee, but is held back by Al]
Referee: Whoa, you're a pretty feisty shrimp, aren't ya? Looks like you salvaged that automail from the bottom of a scrap heap!
Winry Rockbell: [looks enraged] Alphonse. Let go of your brother.
Al Elric: [nervous] Yes, ma'am.

...and three of my personal favorite...

Jean Havoc: [voice over] Forget what I said. She's a one hundread percent the Major's sister...but wait! If I look past a freakish strength and focus what matters...her looks, her sense of fashion, her estate, her lineage...it all adds up? I supposed...I.....[his voice excited, jubilant like a hyper lady] I'M BEING HAPPY BE A MOTHER LODE!!!!

...after Havoc asked Catherine Armstong for a date, but refuse that she interest of muscular men just like her brother....

Jean Havoc: That's it! [he whimpers, his head rest on the table like he's dead and his tears shed all over the tablecloth like a waterfall] I'll just die alone!

Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. Here at Central Headquarters there was a band of soldiers all within to make that sacrifice in the name of peace. This is a tale of love and courage. A tale of a flame alchemist Col. Roy Mustang and his loyal team.



...whew!



I almost choking and coughing as I laughed like frakking hell

I swear there was something about double posting...
And also.. is it just me or did most of these come from the americanised version as I cant find half of them.. ><
Bloody screwyness of americanisation.. <<