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harmony_kh_kairi
Well I know not many people know my writings or me (heck I don't even post here that often). Anyway this is going to be a little different from how I usually write since this whole idea was originally based on an RPG me and some of my friends played. So this will be mainly in script format. Anyway enough with the chit chat and allow me to present to you, On My Father's Wings

Ch. 1 The Elric Children

In Resembool at the Rockbelle/Elric residence, two small children of about the same age of 8, play outside the family home one in the dirt on the ground the other standing over her watching with mildly polite interest, bordering on jealous disdain. The first is a girl with shoulder length, bright golden hair that shines in the early afternoon sunlight. Her eyes are a cool gray that if caught in the right light turn dazzling silver, She's wearing a now extremely dirty baby blue dress, and over that an overly large, red coat with a black flamel on the back. She's not wearing any shoes and her feet and hands are completely filthy from playing in the dirt and the mud of the river since early morning. The other child is a boy who despite the subtle similarity in their looks is completely clean and well groomed. His fresh butter colored hair is cut short and clean and his sapphire blue eyes dazzle with a beauty that could be almost feminine. He's dressed in a pair of light green shorts and a short sleeved, white, blouse shirt buttoned up tight at his throat. He's also wearing an almost completely clean pair of white sneakers. These two are the children of the now famous Edward Elric and Winry Rockbelle, Lyra and Lucas Elric the daughter and son of the great Fullmetal Alchemist.

Lyra has just finished drawing a circle in the dirt with her already dust-covered fingers. She places her hands on the circle and it glows with a soft blue light. The light disperses leaving behind a few beautiful red roses. "Lucas look what I made for mom," she boosts proudly as she holds up the roses to her watching brother.

Lucas just smiles politely and replies just as nicely, "They're nice, sister. Are you going to give them to mom?"

Lyra's eyes light up with pride and joy as she pipes, "Yup as soon as she comes back from work."


That's all I can get up right now since I have to go to bed now but I hope its enough to get you interested for now.
harmony_kh_kairi
Ch. 1 continued.

Lucas scowls no longer about to keep in his anger, “Lyra why do you like alchemy so much?”

Lyra looks up at him with shock and confusion on her face, “Because Daddy was a great alchemist of course and I got his talent so why should I use it.” She gets up off the ground and attempt to brush some of the dirt off her dress though not doing much good. “Besides someday I’m going to put my skills with alchemy to real use and join the military just like Dad did.”

“That’s just stupid,” Lucas tells her with grim satisfaction as her turns from her heading for the house.

Lyra follows him speaking with hurt indignation, “And what’s so stupid about it, Lucas?”

Lucas reaches the door and swings it open a bit too vigorously due to his current mood, “Because the military dogs hurt innocent people just cause they can. You know as well as I do that mom hated that Dad was chained to them.”

“Oh that. Well just like Dad I don’t care I want to join to be just like Dad and because if you’re in the military then you get access to the best books in the country.”

“You really are an idiot, but I guess that’s just a trait that comes with being an alchemist. Dad was an even bigger idiot.”

“Don’t say that about Dad he was the greatest that there ever was! I can’t believe you’re even his son saying things like that! And you should be nicer to me too since I am older than you.”

“Phhf! Be like 5 minutes, big deal I’m still smarter and more mature than you. I mean look at you! You’re 8 years old and you still play in the dirt like some little baby.”

Lyra’s eyes are beginning to fill with tears, “You’re so mean Lucas!”

Notices the tears as they begin to fall down her dirty cheeks and softens his voice a bit, “I’m only trying to look out for you and mom. I’m sorry I yelled.”

Lyra clenching and unclenching her fists at her sides as she continues to cry and shout at Lucas, “Yeah well you don’t need to do that cause that’s Dad’s job!”

Lucas gets angry again, “Yeah well he’s not here now is he? So who’s going to do it? Certainly not a crybaby like you. And guess what Lyra he’s never coming back so get used to it.”

“YOU’RE WRONG LUCAS! HE WILL COME BACK I KNOW HE WILL!!!!” She turns away from him and mutters, “He promised us and mom that he would,” then without a backwards glance she drops the roses on the floor and runs upstairs to her room slamming the door behind her.

Lucas bends down and picks up the roses then goes to the kitchen to find a vase for them. He finds a nice baby blue colored one, arranges the roses in it and puts some water in the vase before setting it neatly on the dining room table. After that he quietly goes upstairs to his own room and shuts the door with a light snap. He goes over to his bed and flops onto it in disgust at himself and at Lyra even though he knows somewhere in his mind that as he brother he shouldn’t be mad at her at all. “Yeah well she didn’t have to go and get mad at me like that either,” he whispers to himself. “Besides Dad could be dead for all we know and she’s still got herself convinced that he’s coming back tomorrow.”


I appologize that the chapter is all broken up but I'm just updating in small peices right before I go to bed. The next update will also be part of chapter 1.
harmony_kh_kairi
Dammit I hate seeing my veiw number go up and getting no reviews its a fanfiction writter's pet peeve. If you read it post what you think!
confederate_alchemist
not too shabby, girl! excellent work. i have a fic on here but everyone overlooks the actual story and complains about my made up charrie being a Mary-Sue!!! I CAN'T HELP IT!!!! I TRIED NOT TO MAKE HER LOOK LIKE AN MS BUT THERE ARE SOMETHINGS I CAN'T AVOID WITHOUT CHANGING THE WHOLE STORY!!! well, anywho, i luv the story!!! good job good job!!!! update soon!!! ta ta for now!!! *disappears into the darkness* ph34r.gif biggrin.gif ph34r.gif biggrin.gif ph34r.gif
Sakura-FOREVER
cutei like it WUT HAPPEN TO ED DONT MAKE HIM THE SAME AS HIS FATHER!!!!! besides that its really niceplease update soon
harmony_kh_kairi
QUOTE(confederate_alchemist @ Oct 6 2005, 11:17 AM) [snapback]296687[/snapback]

not too shabby, girl! excellent work. i have a fic on here but everyone overlooks the actual story and complains about my made up charrie being a Mary-Sue!!! I CAN'T HELP IT!!!! I TRIED NOT TO MAKE HER LOOK LIKE AN MS BUT THERE ARE SOMETHINGS I CAN'T AVOID WITHOUT CHANGING THE WHOLE STORY!!! well, anywho, i luv the story!!! good job good job!!!! update soon!!! ta ta for now!!! *disappears into the darkness* ph34r.gif biggrin.gif ph34r.gif biggrin.gif ph34r.gif


I know what that's like I started out writting fanfiction 5 years ago with Mary-Sue characters and nobody ever looks at the story for what it is or the quality of it just the character's Mary-sueishness. I just hope that because Lyra looks almost exactly like Ed that she isn't pegged as a Mary-sue. I mean she's his daughter so of course they're going to look similar anyway another update.

ch1 continued:



One hour later the front door opens and Winry comes in carrying her small toolbox as usual. “Hey kids I’m home,” she calls to the unusually quiet house. “Hey where are you two? Lyra? Lucas? You guys home?”

Lyra comes slouching down stairs, putting on a falsely cheery voice, “Hi Mom. How was work today?”

“It was okay,” Winry replies but she sounds concerned now because she recognized the dismay in her daughter’s voice. “Lyra sweetie what’s wrong you sound like you’ve been crying?”

“Its nothing Mom, I’m okay,” Lyra replies again in that false cheerful voice.

“She’s not okay Mom I yelled at her and made her sad,” comes Lucas’ voice from the top of the stairs.

Winry looks up at him, as he comes down the remaining flight of stairs, “Why did you yell at her Lucas?”

“Because…” he pauses and swallows, “I know I shouldn’t have gotten mad at her for something so stupid. I’m sorry.”

Winry frowns, “Maybe you two should tell me what happened from the beginning.”

“There’s no need to Mom, Lucas is right I made him angry with me and we both shouted at each other. No big deal right, its what siblings do once in a while,” Lyra supplies before Lucas can continue.

Winry looks at them both in turn then says doubtfully, “Okay if you guys are sure you’re okay then I won’t press the matter any further. So besides that what have you two been up to today?”

Lucas lights up like he just remembered something important, “Mom you should see something that Lyra made today.”

Winry seems interested as she turns to Lyra, “What did you make today Lyra that Lucas sounds so proud about?”

Lyra seems slightly embarrassed but extremely proud at the same time, “Umm yeah I’ve got a present for you Mom.” But then she looks around for the roses and the smile on her face falls.

“What’s wrong Lyra sweetheart? Did you misplace something?”

“No Mom I just put her present in a safe place for her to give them to you,” Lucas speaks up and begins leading them into the dining room. “I put them on the table for you Mom.”

Winry sees the roses in the vase on the table and her eyes light up with child like delight. “Oh Lyra they’re beautiful where did you get them from?”

Lyra’s smile is now so big it almost stretches from ear to ear, “I transmuted them for you Mommy!”

Winry’s smile drops ever so slightly as she turns back to Lyra from looking at the roses, and asks quizzically, “Alchemy?”

“Yup just like Daddy used to do,” Lyra answers full of pride and joy.

Winry’s full smile returns as she kneels down and brings Lyra into her arms. “You really are Daddy’s little girl aren’t you? He would be so proud of you if he were here,” however Winry’s eyes are full of a deep sadness that only Lucas manages to take notice of.

Lyra however just continues to receive Winry’s hug and pipes, “Yeah I know that Mommy and I can’t wait to show all that I know when he gets home.”

This proves to be too much for Lucas having seen the sadness in his mother’s eyes and he can’t hold back the screaming voice inside him. “He abandoned us, and he’s never coming back get it through your thick head!” and with that he runst of the house and down the dirt road to the river side as fast as his legs can carry him.

Tears have returned to Lyra’s eyes and have just started in Winry’s, “Mommy why does Lucas say mean things like that about Daddy. He promised he’d come back and I know he’ll keep his promise.”

Winry can’t hold back the tears any longer and they flow down her cheeks into Lyra’s golden hair, hair so like His and hugs Lyra to her tighter. “Oh Lyra, I know what he said. I know.”
~*(Jaded)*~
ohmy.gif Very good fic!^^ Please update soon, kay? *puppy eyes*
confederate_alchemist
awww so sad ;_; well it's a very good story, and screw those people who say one of the children is a Mary-Sue!!!! please continue!!! i like it!!!
Automne
Yes, well written story but I think Lyra is a bit too mature for her age especially with the way she talks sometimes. She's not considered as a Mary-sue...Yet. A Mary sue is a fan made character who is perfect so it's normal it's annoying but I don't think your character is one smile.gif And, just to say, I hope the plot of the story is going to change a bit soon because it wouldn't be so interesting if it was the exact story of the Elric brothers except this time this is with a girl and a boy.
Winry The Alchemist
CUTE I Like it please dont make ed the exactly the same way as his father
harmony_kh_kairi
QUOTE(SinLuxuria @ Oct 7 2005, 01:47 PM) [snapback]296982[/snapback]

Yes, well written story but I think Lyra is a bit too mature for her age especially with the way she talks sometimes. She's not considered as a Mary-sue...Yet. A Mary sue is a fan made character who is perfect so it's normal it's annoying but I don't think your character is one smile.gif And, just to say, I hope the plot of the story is going to change a bit soon because it wouldn't be so interesting if it was the exact story of the Elric brothers except this time this is with a girl and a boy.


I apologize if you think Lyra acts too mature I tried to make her sorta like my brother who's also 8 years old (in fact her attitude is an almost perfect model of my brother's)

As for the plot it will differ a good deal but there will be a few paradoxes but only because Lyra has a huge ego driving her to be just like Ed. (and as I said at the begining this started of as a RPG) Anyway no more plot give aways.

There should be another update by tomorrow.
Edwards-secret-admiara
*claps* I really like it but please, please dont make Ed like Hughes the human Kodak advert please! The only other thing is that no offense or anything but i do think that some of the language the Lyra uses is to old for her but other than that its great! biggrin.gif
Phyco girl
Nice story, yet I don't see the full plot behind it. It would help to reveal a possible plot set up soon to keep the readers from falling away happy.gif

You can go a few ways with the end of that last chapter ^^ I'm sure you'll think of something that goes with it well and leaves us excited biggrin.gif

-Phyco girl
harmony_kh_kairi
Update though I admit its probably a little bit strange for right now don't worry if you stay with me on this one all shall be reveled in the end.

Ch. 1 cont.

Central Headquarters: early June 1926
A young officer is eagerly running down a hallway in HQ carrying a thick, sealed envelope of official looking documents. He opens a door on the right towards the end of the corridor and upon entering is thrown into almost complete darkness. He comes to a halt in about the center of the room and salutes towards the dark outline of a desk and then laying the thick envelope on it carefully.

“Sir! We have recently received intelligence rumoring that Edward Elric, once also known as the Fullmetal Alchemist, has disappeared again near his home town of Resembool around October of last year,” he proclaims in a stately manner towards the desk beyond which is a high backed chair facing the opposite wall.

“Has he really,” a cold, sneering, older male voice, coming from the chair asks slightly amused? “So he’s gone off again? That’s not much of a surprise considering what happened upon his last return.” The voice pauses a moment in silent wondering before continuing in a more sincere tone, “What of his family, Lieutenant?”

“His wife and twin children are still residing at their home in Resembool,” the young soldier answers mechanically. Then adds as an after thought, “What are your orders concerning this matter Sir?”

“Send out someone who will be welcome in the Elric home to find out more information on this most intriguing change of events. Find out if this rumor you’re reported has any truth to begin with and if the family has any information pertaining to it.”

“Right away Sir,” the young man gives another salute and begins to retreat from the dark room when the mysterious man speak one last time this time in his gentlest tone yet.

“Oh and Rick pull this one off and you’re on your way up the military ladder like your father.”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence sir,” and on that final note the young man scurries hurriedly from the room without a backward glance.

“So Edward,” the voice muses to itself now cold and menacing again, “what was it this time that forced you to leave all that you hold dear behind?” A match is struck and held to a cigarette in the cold voice’s mouth, then he pulls a few drags creating gray puffs of smoke and the glow of the fire in the tobacco gives off an eerie light reveling a shadowy, sneering face in the otherwise completely dark room. Half way across the country, Lucas Elric sat on the Resembool train platform crying his eyes out after having a fight with his older sister Lyra.

(end chapter 1)

okay so its finally the end of chapter 1 and I'm sure there are a lot of questions (its meant to be that way so you'll come back for the answers) anyway comment and enjoy I hope to be updating again with chapter 2 very soon (and hopefully it'll be in full instead of in peices).
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