Sin Of Envy
Apr 5 2006, 04:09 PM
QUOTE(Zarpia @ Apr 5 2006, 03:50 PM) [snapback]375183[/snapback]
QUOTE(Sin Of Envy @ Apr 5 2006, 05:45 PM) [snapback]375173[/snapback]
QUOTE(Zarpia @ Apr 5 2006, 03:41 PM) [snapback]375169[/snapback]
QUOTE(Sin Of Envy @ Apr 5 2006, 05:20 PM) [snapback]375161[/snapback]
*gives Zarpia some water and aspirin*
I feel emo again, that's why I'm so nice [Which isn't normal for me]....
Thanks. *takes aspirin*
are emos supposed to be nice?? just asking.

Some yes, some not. I'm the first option.... ^^Glad to know that

*gives a cookie*
-Why am I so addicted to "Figure you out" song?
-Specially with Queer as folk vids^^.
Thank you!
I'm in love with Within Temptation's song "Angels"....
Weird, always me and angels...
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 05:29 PM
You know what...?
I'm paranoid. I'm a low-self-esteem, paranoid, attention starved, praise feeding brat. And while I enjoy my friends, I don't think we... have anything. They're people I love to be with when times are agreeable, and when we're all feeling happy, but I wonder if it's just fake. Maybe I'm just clinging on to them, because I can't move anywhere else and I don't know who else to go to. I feel like our interests and honest views on life are so completely different, and that makes it so awkward to have a serious talk. And I feel like crap a lot. Like I'm sort of an outcast at times- whether it's because I don't play video games like 'these two' do, or because I don't plan my life around watching TV and can't giggle out inside jokes about the latest episode of Lost or 24 like 'these two' do.
And I feel like maybe I just leech for acceptance and praise when I'm still just an expendable entity. For some of my friends, I really get the feeling that they see life as nothing special or important at all. They've said so before- not in an emo way, but in such a casual way that it was disturbing- "I'm not scared of dying. It's not like there's that much to live for for so long." And I feel like it's because they don't care about life that I can't feel close to them. They care about their books and their dvd sets and TV shows and their marathons, and they're so indifferent to everything else that it makes me wonder if that's the life I could be leading.
Celestial Shadow
Apr 5 2006, 07:28 PM
Toby, don't worry sweetie, I often feel the same way or similar. It's not just you and it's not an uncommon thing. At least for anime weirdos.
*Straight Cs and one B so far...I feel so average, but still, I'm happy I have no Ds for once this year 
*So much homework...I feel like I'm drowning, but at least I'm actually doing it...but now I gotta wait till tomorrow to see The Corpse Bride. Oh well, least I get to watch alone.
MonsterEnvy
Apr 5 2006, 07:45 PM
Why is it snowing in April?

As much as I enjoyed have 70 degree days in february, and a snow flurry or two to break the monotony now, I can't help but let it scare me a little... the weather feels a bit screwy this year.
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 08:00 PM
QUOTE(Celestial Shadow @ Apr 5 2006, 07:13 PM) [snapback]375264[/snapback]
Toby, don't worry sweetie, I often feel the same way or similar. It's not just you and it's not an uncommon thing. At least for anime weirdos.
But that's the thing, I don't feel I fall in the latter group either (In fact, it's having friends in the latter group that bothers me). Granted, it's not like I have the most productive activities in my life, nor do I know yet just what I want from my life, but I feel so distant from others in my outlook on everything that it's scary. On one end you have those people stuck in their shells- planning their life and happiness around their videogames and TV shows and anime and all sorts of other escapism. And on the other hand you have those who detest any hint of those things because they 'have a life'- their definition of a life being to be caught up in the phony social scene they've fabricated of shallow boyfriends and girlfriends; of parties and shopping and getting wasted and having shiny new things, and getting laid and earning money to do it all over again.
The thing is, they might just be happy with those lives, but I couldn't be. And even when there is middle ground between those, I still feel distanced from most people.
What really scares me though, is facing the thought that the friendships I've already forged and put so much time and emotion into; the people I've come to know and become used to being around- that those are all just filler. It scares the living daylights out of me to think that those friends I've been with for years aren't really all that important, because they're all I really have. Granted, I have a lot of friends and nice acquaintances, but the thought that I might really just be completely a stranger to the ones I've been spending most of my time with for so long... it hurts.
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 5 2006, 08:23 PM
Toby, all I can say is that you're being too philosophical about this. Just forget about being alienated from people... You'll be in college soon enough, and can make new friends there.
Water Achemist
Apr 5 2006, 08:30 PM
MT:
*...friggen UN....I don't care about it anymore....(13 questions on something you don't care about, that you have to research up on the web, and hand in the next day does that to you, I guess...)
*Tamahome is pretty~
*How sad... I even suck at bad minton(or however you spell it), which , according to two girls from "the group", is "the easiest sport ever as all you have to do is move your hand and arm, and move back and forth."

True, but I suck at, and hate all sports, so...

. The only who didn't seem annoyed at me while playing with/against me was Taylor...

I guess Colby to, but I don't really care about him...
Overall current mood:
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 08:30 PM
QUOTE(Void @ Apr 5 2006, 08:08 PM) [snapback]375288[/snapback]
Toby, all I can say is that you're being too philosophical about this. Just forget about being alienated from people... You'll be in college soon enough, and can make new friends there.

That a fact?
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 5 2006, 08:34 PM
QUOTE(Toby-Chan @ Apr 5 2006, 11:15 PM) [snapback]375295[/snapback]
QUOTE(Void @ Apr 5 2006, 08:08 PM) [snapback]375288[/snapback]
Toby, all I can say is that you're being too philosophical about this. Just forget about being alienated from people... You'll be in college soon enough, and can make new friends there.

That a fact?
Totally.
Much easier to make friends in college than in high school, anyway.
phoenix dying
Apr 5 2006, 08:41 PM
QUOTE(Toby-Chan @ Apr 5 2006, 08:45 PM) [snapback]375277[/snapback]
The thing is, they might just be happy with those lives, but I couldn't be. And even when there is middle ground between those, I still feel distanced from most people.
But there are some people that you understand

and im sure you not the only person with this kind of 'problem'
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 09:17 PM
And if I don't go to college?
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 5 2006, 09:17 PM
QUOTE(Toby-Chan @ Apr 6 2006, 12:02 AM) [snapback]375307[/snapback]
And if I don't go to college?

Why wouldn't you?
Envy's lil' miniskirt
Apr 5 2006, 09:22 PM
QUOTE(Toby-Chan @ Apr 5 2006, 07:02 PM) [snapback]375307[/snapback]
And if I don't go to college?

You'll still meet a broader range of people than you do now in high school. Don't worry, I didn't really meet anybody I had a connection with until adulthood. I couldn't stand most of my peers.
Edit:
Damn when is that egg going to hatch?
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 09:26 PM
Underqualified, for one. My grades are absolute crap.
Unprepared, for another.
Unsure of what I'd be going to study anyhow.
I love learning, but I have yet to see the holy significance of paying what's worth more than my life to spend a few years at extra school and gaining a slip of paper that qualifies me for a job I'd probably be miserable at anyway.
College is a huge investment financially, physically, time-wise... It looks more like a great big thing to get stuck in; if I'm unsure of what I'm even going for, how do I even make it in?
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 5 2006, 09:30 PM
QUOTE(Toby-Chan @ Apr 6 2006, 12:11 AM) [snapback]375312[/snapback]
Underqualified, for one. My grades are absolute crap.
Unprepared, for another.
Unsure of what I'd be going to study anyhow.
But you've got plenty of extracirricular [sp?] activities... You could very well get into a school with a great theater arts program [i.e. Emerson here in Boston]. Your grades may be crap, but so were mine, and I did a lot less to help myself get into school. All I had going for me was a good SAT score and a great essay. Don't sell yourself short, Toby!
Toby-Chan
Apr 5 2006, 09:33 PM
Well, snap. I don't even have SAT's...
Erh- what's the chance that I'll be admitted with only an essay?
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 5 2006, 09:34 PM
Go take the test. It should be easy for you. You could probably get a 700+ on the verbal section, easy.
Envy's lil' miniskirt
Apr 5 2006, 09:46 PM
Toby there's always art school. Like Bacon said concentrate on theatre arts. I also think you need to have faith in yourself Toby.
mei_tenshi
Apr 5 2006, 10:14 PM
You know what you need, Toby? A hug. *hugs*
And like all all "As Seen On TV" products (except it's not on TV), there's more!
Like Bacon says, you're thinking too much. The world's pretty big, and chances are, you'll meet people whom you feel compatible with and cultivate a lasting friendship. Or maybe your current friends will grow to be the friends you're looking for. Face it--they're human. They can't be ideal friends. But even if you feel insecure about your relationship with them now, that could change in time. You're changing, they're changing--you're all changing together. And if things don't turn out well...you still have the years you shared. It might seem like they're just fillers, but they're really not. You spent loads of time and effort of them--it means something. If anything, it's character development.
Mei's glad you feel comfortable enough with us to share this, though. We care about you, and we only know you through the Internet. Mei's pretty sure we're real people, so you're bound to meet others who care just as much out there in the physical world.
Quistis88
Apr 6 2006, 12:47 AM
I agree with
mei-mei,
Toby, and just about everyone else. Post-secondary is a great place to make new friends who are actually intelligent and less shallow than most people you'll meet in high school. Granted, I can't speak for myself, since most of the closest and dearest friends I have now are people I have met before post-secondary (though some that I used to be close to are drifting away a bit), but the people we all meet are different, so we'll all take different paths with our friendships. Don't despair if you feel that you have "no one" right now. As you get older, you'll meet many more people along the way, people with much more potential to have long-term friendships with.
And I also think that you have a great talent in terms of the arts, whether it be theatrical or paper/canvas-based. Don't let that go to waste. Even if you have doubts now, if you don't try your best, you'll regret it a few years down the road. At least, then, even if things didn't work out, you can't say you didn't try. Of course, even if things don't work out, you should never give up (unless you find yourself wanting to pursue other things you are passionate about).
Current Thoughts:- Sooo . . . I stayed up till 0630 writing my last English research paper.
- Just have the Greek & Roman Studies research paper left.
- I could be doing readings now, but I am too tired.
- Not sure I did so well on that English test today.

- Met up with a friend for coffee today and spent a little over 4 hours talking to him, and it was pretty much a non-stop conversation. I haven't had such intelligent conversation in person with anyone for ages.
- I should sleep soon.
- I think I'm developing an essay gut . . .
Molecular Alchemist
Apr 6 2006, 02:09 AM
I'm scared to go to the bookstore now. Last nite, I went to get some manga
ishould have been studying, but i went to the store anyway....and then i was followed in the store by this creepy guy that was there following me the other nite. Except the other nite, he tried to follow me to my car. Tonite he followed me around before he confronted me...and then i said that i had to go...and went to the checkout...and i saw him glare at me and walk outside......so i got to be escourted to my car by a very nice gentleman who worked at the store and i see there often...while the manager took up a search team to run outside and find the guy. *scratches head* why does this ALWAYS happen to me??? IT's sooooo annoying...it's not like i'm freaking famous or anything.
Current thoughts:-Work took longer than expected....blahhh
-holly-jolly-happy-go-lucky mood.....still here..can't seem to shake it, though i think that i traced the source to a grande iced mocha from Starbux a few days ago
-Chivalry is NOT dead.....i saw it at least twice today!!!

*sigh* YAY for guys that still uphold that knightly code of honor.....if i was looking for a bf, I'd be head over heels right about now
Bling_bling_Angel
Apr 6 2006, 02:23 AM
Current Thoughts:
- Hello, Forum Family... genki? ^^? Long time, no? Heh, not to worry... I'm alive and breathing... XD [like you'd all worry... XD!]
- Right now, I'm on vacation back home in Japan... 9_9;;; only for two weeks, after which I return back to the Philippines for summer class...
- *meep!* Tomorrow's the 6th... >_9! Our grades come out over the net... *weeps*
mei_tenshi
Apr 6 2006, 02:53 AM
Molec: Yikes! That's creepy indeed. But don't be afraid to go to the bookstore! Use the buddy system and bring a friend.
Bling! *glomps* Glad to know you haven't forgotten us. =D
- Aria has got to be the most feel-good slice-of-life anime mei has seen thus far. It's got her feeling positively bubbly--even at 1:35.
- Hmm...mei's "Q" key has some...orange fruit juice stains? (It's not apple, for sure. mei has a tendency to eat fruit at her computer.) It's barely noticeable in the light, but better remember to clean if off tomorrow.
Chiyo
Apr 6 2006, 08:50 AM
Finally I'm packing to go home. Its only for easter but I can take quite a few things back with me. I always bring far too many clothes and then buy plenty while I'm here.
Chibka
Apr 6 2006, 08:52 AM
.... I've got an F in English.... YAY!
Zarpia
Apr 6 2006, 10:00 AM
*waves at bling*
-I had 10 hours of sleep
finally!!-It was too much, but since I didn't sleep for like 3 days

-And now since I'm recharge I will take the monumental task to organize my ipod
Sharingan Serpent
Apr 6 2006, 11:56 AM
Current ThoughtsYayie I got another review on my fan fiction story

I wish I can get rid of my writers block so that I can continue writing
Oh I think I did bad in my science I got thirteen out of sixteen

(sulks)
Awww today is the worst I need new glasses but out of it all I get to spend some time with a sexy optition

(Starts to get all gigglish)
Zarpia
Apr 6 2006, 11:58 AM
^congratz!
So, I wrote down every single song I have in the ipod.
Ready to download them nowlater.
Chibka
Apr 6 2006, 12:03 PM
My thoughts:
Studying in the library can be fun if you have a laptop with internet access!
Spanish sux
Maybe metal isn't that bad... *ish listening to Disturbed*
Sharingan Serpent
Apr 6 2006, 12:04 PM
Hmmmm
Que tal Chibika?
Chibka
Apr 6 2006, 12:08 PM

I take spanish... I don't speak it and I don't pay attention if I can't help it^^
Another thought:
What on earth does "Que tal" mean?
Zarpia
Apr 6 2006, 12:22 PM
^is something like "what's up" some sort of greeting, can't really translated it, just interpreted.
Sharingan Serpent
Apr 6 2006, 12:23 PM
More like"
How are you"... then you reply"
muy bien gracias" my teacher always says it when we enter the classroom
Zarpia
Apr 6 2006, 12:27 PM
I hate it when we had to do that with our English teacher at class, I had no desired to speak English back then
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 6 2006, 03:20 PM
I got offered a job today.
It's a copy editor position at a local paper in Taunton, MA.
Pays about 26K a year.
I dunno yet if I can take it, though.
mei_tenshi
Apr 6 2006, 03:33 PM
QUOTE(Void @ Apr 6 2006, 03:05 PM) [snapback]375579[/snapback]
I got offered a job today.
It's a copy editor position at a local paper in Taunton, MA.
Pays about 26K a year.
I dunno yet if I can take it, though.

Why not?

- Got that Chinese quiz down pat! XD
- Tomorrow's ES midterm, however...
- Excellent weather. Flies are buzzing outside mei's window again.
- It seems the university did some gardening over the break. New potted plants, blooming cherry blossoms...heck, those trees weren't there to begin with. Looks nice, though. Perhaps mei will do some re-exploring next weekend.
Carnal Malefactor
Apr 6 2006, 03:36 PM
Because I'd have to move to the southern part of the state, and I have just over 2 weeks to do it.
Le Monkey
Apr 6 2006, 03:38 PM
QUOTE(Void @ Apr 6 2006, 03:05 PM) [snapback]375579[/snapback]
I got offered a job today.
It's a copy editor position at a local paper in Taunton, MA.
Pays about 26K a year.
I dunno yet if I can take it, though.

How come
Bacon?
Ah, Back from my meet in london, Im still in london, but 9hours on your feet trecking around london hurts..

Was really fun, met few other people, fun people, ^^ Definately going to the next one in a few weeks, ^^
*Rubs feet
Owwwie...
Envy's lil' miniskirt
Apr 6 2006, 04:44 PM
Dear Diary,
Today I put the Firebird up for auction.
I got quite emotional pressing the send button almost started crying. Well I hope she gets a good home.
It's funny how I can get so emotional over an inanimate object, it's only a car after all but still. It's one of my old dreams that died and now it's time to let it go.
Sin Of Envy
Apr 6 2006, 05:08 PM
Cheer up, Envy's lil' miniskirt! ^^
Gee, if only I could stop myself from sleeping so often.....
Toby-Chan
Apr 6 2006, 05:17 PM
You know, as much as it clutters up my F-list, I'm soooo glad I joined the Baaabyanimals community.
Omgomg! Piglets! They're so cuuuuute!!!!
Celestial Shadow
Apr 6 2006, 05:37 PM
QUOTE(Envy's lil' miniskirt @ Apr 6 2006, 05:29 PM) [snapback]375616[/snapback]
Dear Diary,
Today I put the Firebird up for auction.
*Sniff* I feel so tired and emo today...I'm not really happy about spring break coming either or really NOT happy about it...I just feel so strange and confused lately.
*Not surprisingly, seeing a kind of sad movie when I was already feeling negative didn't help.
*Ick, when did I download all these Jesse McCartney songs?
*It seems I got an informational email from that prestigious entertainment college that every geek wants to go to...I hate it when colleges address me personally or call me though, it pisses me off.
EDIT- Hey, how come Mini gets a dragon and I get a stupid rat?! *Emoness* XD
Zarpia
Apr 6 2006, 05:43 PM
and
envy got a cute dragon too
Envy's lil' miniskirt
Apr 6 2006, 05:47 PM
I know he's so cute.

*pokes dragon*
I can't even see your critter Celes it's still a blue egg. And SOE's egg still looks like an avocado.

Thought:
-I think I'm going to start using goth the way people use emo around here.
*goes to find Joy Divison CD*
-It's been two hours since I put the listing up and e-bay still hasn't put a link in the item listing. The site said it could take 2-6 hours to see it. Meaning, it's there, the clock it ticking but there's not link to it in the listings so nobody else knows it there.
Man! I'm paying for that!
hanzo
Apr 6 2006, 05:50 PM
I think I am relieved after what had happened.....
Ailuro
Apr 6 2006, 05:50 PM
I also got a dragon!
Mini, we rock.
Celestial Shadow
Apr 6 2006, 05:50 PM
QUOTE(Envy's lil' miniskirt @ Apr 6 2006, 06:32 PM) [snapback]375658[/snapback]
I know he's so cute.

*pokes dragon*
I can't even see your critter Celes it's till a blue egg. And SOE's egg still looks like an avocado.

Envy's lil' miniskirt
Apr 6 2006, 05:54 PM
We do rock Ali!

Awww rattie, so cute. You can make him one of your minions. Rats make good minions I hear.
asunder
Apr 6 2006, 05:55 PM
QUOTE(Envy's lil' miniskirt @ Apr 6 2006, 06:32 PM) [snapback]375658[/snapback]
I know he's so cute.

*pokes dragon*
I can't even see your critter Celes it's till a blue egg. And SOE's egg still looks like an avocado.

Firefox precached the images as eggs for me....had to reload the page in order to view what they are now.
Celestial Shadow
Apr 6 2006, 05:57 PM
QUOTE(Envy's lil' miniskirt @ Apr 6 2006, 06:39 PM) [snapback]375663[/snapback]
Awww rattie, so cute. You can make him one of your minions. Rats make good minions I hear.
Oh really? I think you're right. I can use him for evil
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