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I'm making a few changes. From here on, these random ideas and drabbles will all contain shounen-ai of some kind. Screwed Weird, the first one, will not contain any more than it already does. This is mainly for people who like shounen-ai. If you don't, I'm warning you right now.


You've been warned.

First Order of Buisness

Roy stared at Ed. He couldn't help it. It was so hard not to. Roy had never given it much thought, but Ed was quite feminine. His small build was very appealing. His sexy chest and skin was irresistable and his long, golden hair was stunning. Not to mention his cute, little-


Jerking out of his thoughts, Roy saw Ed standing right in front of him, hands on his (perfectly curved) hips.

"Are you listening to me?!"


"I was asking you why you asked me to do such a boring job! Why not ask Riza? She seems to like it a lot better than I do!"

As Ed rambled on, Roy found himself staring at the boys lips. His lucious, pale pink lips. He bet they would be good to kiss...

Before he could stop himself, Roy leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ed's. The boys eyes widened and he just stood there as the Colonel kissed him. When he finally pulled away, Ed found himself leaning forward slightly. It suddenly occured to Roy what he had done and he blushed furiously.


Grabbing Roy's shirt, Ed pulled him forward and crushed their lips together. Roy grinned and pulled Ed onto his lap, never breaking the kiss. He ran his tongue over Ed's bottom lip, begging for entrance. The boy complied and they began a battle for dominance. Roy won and grinned into the kiss. He ran his hands over Ed's body, trying to make Ed moan. He was rewarded with what he wanted.

Outside the door, Riza, Hughes and Havoc listened in.

"Twenty bucks says they do it on the desk."

"Thirty bucks says he plays with him first."

"Fourty bucks says they do it in the chair."


Russel sighed as he leaned back.

"I don't see why I have to do paperwork. And with YOU."

Fletcher looked up from the filing cabinet and glanced at Ed.

"Well, you want to be a State Alchemist. Consider this training."

"I want to do the kind of work you do!"

"This is the kind of work I do."

"Right. The great Hero of the People does paperwork."

"Among other things."

Sighing, Fletcher returned to filing. He only half listened to their arguement.

"Why not wear a leash and collar around your neck and prance around saying 'I'm a dog of the military and I do paperwork!'"

"Aren't there some trees that need hugging?"

"Shouldn't you be in your doghouse?"

"Lemon Boy."




Standing up, Ed growled.

"At least I don't poison people who believe in me!"

Russel narrowed his eyes and stood as well.

"At least I didn't turn my brother into a suit of armor!"

There was a long silence and the two glared at each other. Fletcher glanced at them. Both their faces were red and their lips pressed together. It was...funny. Turning away, Fletcher tried to stifle his giggle. He failed and began to laugh loudly.


Both older brothers turned to look at the boy as he rolled on the floor, laughing. Russel and Ed looked at each other and began to laugh as well. They laughed for a long time and Ed grinned as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Okay, we got that out of our systems. Now there's one more thing I want to get out."

Russel gave him a glance.

"Same here."

Grabbing Ed by the front of his shirt, the elder Tringham brother crushed his lips to Ed's. The shorter alchemist istantly replied. Fletcher grinned and returned to his filing.

'I think Brother's going to get more training than he expected.'
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