Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Strawberry's 1st Fanfic
Fullmetal Alchemist Discussion Board > Fullmetal Alchemist Discussions > Fanworks > Fanfics
StrawberryShampoo
A/N- Hey everyone StrawberryShampoo here! Anyway this is my first ever fanfic.... WHoot. This fic is a crossover between real life and FMA. It stars my friends and I, and what happens when we all get sent to the FMA world. This is my first attempt at humor in anything so please don't get too mad at me if it sucks. I don't mind criticism unless you yell at me, I usually take most criticism well and try to apply it to my writings. Any way if you have any Questions about the story please feel free to PM me about. One thing you should know is that Legolas (from Lord of the rings) will pop up several times through out this fic. (He is a cardboard cut out in the story).

Disclamer- I don't own Full-metal Alchemist or any of it's characters. Nor do I own Legolas or The Lord of the Rings. I do however own a cardboard cutout of Legolas and I do own the character known as the squid the rest of the cast (who aren't from FMA or LotR) are real people.

CHAPTER !(1)

“I got the potato chips!!!” Jessi yelled as she gracefully fell down the stairs of Jessica’s house.
“Low cal and low carb I hope” Lindsey replied from the other end of the room.
The seven of them (Tabby, Jessi, Jessica, Stephanie, Kasey, Lindsey, and Joey) had all gathered at Jessica’s house so that they could transmute certain guys from a various TV shows into their world by using several hundred bags of low cal/low carb potato chips, and Jessi and Lindsey’s ex-boy...whore... chris. Each one was doing their part in making sure that that night would be a success...well sort of. Jessi had fetched the chips, Jessica was fixing her makeup in the corner (really helpful I know), Tabby was reading a fanfic online, Joey was restraining the hostage (chris), Kasey was throwing poisonious darts at joe’s butt, and succeeding in hitting him there, and Lindsey and Stephanie were drawing an alchemic tray on the floor with a horrendous color of sharpie known as pink.
As the clock struck midnight the seven of them prepared for the ritual. Tabby slowly walked forward and sprinkled the potato chips over the symbol on the floor, and occasionally ate one or two of them.
“TABBY!!!” Tabby got a wwaaayyyy to innocent look on her face, “TABBY QUIT EATING THE MATERIAL!!!” Jessica screamed as she returned to her daily chore of ordering the others around. This time she was ordering Kasey and Joey to move the sacrifice (chris) to the center.
“In the book I read it said we should kill the sacrifice first..for... better results...of... course...heh...heh.” (A/–- we need a reason to kill him) Stephanie said as she looked over at Lindsey with a go-to-it look on her face.
Lindsey looked up cluelessly then got her homicidal, I’m-gonna-kill-ya, evil grin on her face as she looked at chris. Slowly she stood up and walked over to him. Jessi started laughing with joy since her stalker was about to be killed by Lindsey’s harpy-like nails. With one swift movement she slit his throat, then ran screaming about being diseased toward the bathroom.
“Should we help her?” asked Joey.
“No she’ll be fine after she finds the hand sanitizer...” said Kasey “...poor girl.”
“IT’S UNDER THE SINK, LINS!!!” Jessica yelled after Lindsey.
After several minuted of poking at chris’s dead, bloody corpse the group noticed that Lindsey had returned.
“Are we ready to start now, kiddies??” Tabby asked as she poked at chris’s ugly head.
“I think so.... everyone get in a circle, and place both hands on the outside ring of the tray.” Stephanie instructed.
“Yea, yea we know the drill we’ve done this before...” Kasey said rolling her eyes.
“Kasey! We don’t talk about last time, we pretend it didn’t happen, just like we pretend that the mutant squid that we transmuted isn’t really here...heh heh.” Jessi said nervously.
Meanwhile the giant purple mutant squid in the back of the room whips out one of it’s tentacles and knocks a lamp off of a stand... the lamp breaks as it hits the ground.
“Ear–earth-q earthquake... yea just an earthquake... that’s what caused the lamp to fall..heheh” Tabby said also looking nervous.
The whole group nodded in an agreement, and looked their own ways.
“Th-third one this week... that poor lamp... heh.” said Jessica.
“.....ANYWAYYYYY..... I’m gonna go over this again so that we don’t get another failed transmutation that results in a squid or Joey or.... uh.... the sacrifice.” Everyone shuddered as Stephanie reminded them of the time they transmuted chris. “So now we shut our eyes and concentrate...”
“RIGHT!” the group said in unison, as they slowly closed their eyes.
“UUUMMMMM....UUUMMMMMM.....”
“TABBY! QUIT MEDITATING!!!” yelled Kasey.
“Sorry...”
Once again the group was silent and as they concentrated on their work a bright yellowish light began to emanate from the floor.
“It’s working...” whispered Jessi, mainly to herself.
Suddenly, the light turned a deep violet and fierce winds began to blow, the girls...and...uh.... Joey had come to know that color of light better than they had ever wanted to. It meant that something had gone wrong.
“It was the exchange it was equivalent! Chris wasn’t good enough...go figure!!” Joey yelled over the winds.
Shortly after the light changed color, a bright flash of light blinded them all.
CHAPTER @ (2)
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Tabby screamed causing them all to open their eyes for the first time since the flash.
To their horror they learned they were falling. Plummeting towards an ever closer ground. The whole group screamed in unison especially Joey who was screaming like a school girl on a roller coaster. The only ones who weren’t screaming were Tabby and Lindsey. Tabby had already stopped screaming and was just staring at the ground, and Lindsey was laughing...too hard to do anything else. With a loud thud they all hit the ground, except for Jessica who had been, by a stroke of luck, caught by a rather large man with a single clump of blonde hair on his head.
“Catching falling objects is a talent that has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations.” the man said as he seemed to glimmer in the sun light, but the glimmer was actually a reflection of several hot pink crystals that had magically appeared around his head.
“HAHA!!! You all suck! I’m the greatest I have landed on my feet!! MuAhahahahha!!!” Tabby gloated as she realized that she had landed perfectly, however she had spoke to soon and with in seconds had fallen over and was now on the ground next to Stephanie.
As for the others... Joey had landed in a thorn bush, Kasey had landed on top of Joey, Stephanie was now sitting in a patch of wild flowers, Jessi had somehow managed to wedge herself between two tree branches, and Lindsey... well... Lindsey had fallen in a mud puddle.
“Just my luck...” Lindsey muddered as she attempted to climb out of the mud, she failed and fell back in.
“Owwww, my poor head....” Jessi complained as she more or less fell out of the tree. “...Where are we?”
“I have no idea... hey where’s Joey?” asked Kasey curiously.
“Ummm.... Kasey honey.... stand up.” Jessica commanded as she climbed down the tall man and onto the ground.
Kasey stood up and looked behind her, and saw Joey lying unconscious in the bush.
“Oops..” Kasey squeaked as she covered her mouth with her hands. “...my bad.”
“Come on, everyone let’s try to get our bearings...” Stephanie said as she gracefully stood up and dusted herself off. “Kasey, you and Jessi drag Joey away from the plant... and **sigh**... somebody help me fish Lindsey out of the mud...”
For the first time since landing everyone noticed Lindsey, who was still sitting in the mud with teary eyes. They all started laughing.
“**sniff sniff** I think I’m gonna cry...” Lindsey complained as Stephanie and Tabby hoisted her out of the mud, completely drenching their shirts in the process. After several minutes of helping everyone regain sanity, their balance, and consciousness the group began looking around. Eventually, their eyes fell upon the man who had caught Jessica. The seven of them stared at him with menacing wolf’s eyes.
“Ummm....ye-yes..um.... hello my name is.... ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG!!!” The man said while flexing his muscles in an attempt to impress the group... it didn’t work. “Ummm... well... seeing as how your new to the area I, Alex Louis Armstrong shall escort you to Central.”
“Central?” Stephanie said blandly while raising an eyebrow.
“Yes!” Armstrong responded with an unsettled hint in his voice.
“You don’t even know us and yet..... you’d take us to this...this...Central...?” Kasey said as if she was interrogating him.
Armstrong nodded his head, and then beamed at the group. The completely random crystals showed up again, and Tabby walked forward and poked one. The crystal instantly fell out of it’s orbit around Armstrong’s head and shattered as it hit the ground. Tabby’s eyes got wide and she began quickly poking ALL the crystals around Armstrong’s head then she began whistling as if nothing happened, and slowly, slinked away towards the back of the group. They all stared at her, and Joey shook his head in disgrace.
“Moron...” he whispered.
Suddenly Kasey’s hand came out of nowhere and smacked Joey upside the head.
“Shut up, Joey!” she threatened.
After Kasey and Joey’s little squabble the group followed Armstrong down a long and winding dusty road. They walked for hours and hours, and continued to walk long after the sun had set. Though the seven teens had a lot on their minds and too much energy they kept their mouths shut, each one of them was trying to figure out what the heck had happened to them, and where the heck they were.
“We’ll be almost to Central by morning..” Armstrong said breaking the silence at last.
“Can’t we take a cab?” asked Jessica, annoyed because she thought her feet would blister from all the walking.
“A cab? I’m sorry I do not own an automobile.” Armstrong replied.
“You don’t own a car? What kind of man are you?” Asked Tabby angrily.
“I don’t know where your from but not many people own vehicles in this area... Even in Central they are rare.” (A/– I’m just assuming this please don’t kill me, I needed something to put here.... besides...I’ve never really seen many vehicles in FMA, just a few.)
The groups discussion was suddenly cut short when a lightning bug landed on Jessi’s nose and she screamed. Everyone stopped and stared.
“Get it off!! Get it off!!!! It’s gonna eat me!!!!!” Jessi screamed.
Instinctively, Tabby walked over and swatted at it. She killed the bug and nearly broke Jessi’s nose. While Jessi was clenching her nose and cursing under her breath Tabby picked up the bug and moved it to her mouth.
“TABBY!!! what have I told you....? Put the bug down... we don’t eat bugs....” Jessica lectured. Tabby ignored her and lifted the bug to her mouth again. “TABBY!!! Do I have to bring out the newspaper again? Do I?”
Tabby whimpered, dropped the bug, and ran cowering behind Joey. Everyone else started walking again, except for Armstrong who continued to stare in disbelief. Slowly, he raised his left index finger and moved it from Jessica to Tabby and back to Jessica with a completely lost look on his face. Armstrong mumbled something about newspapers, potty training, and dogs, then sighed and shrugged, and then continued to walk after the group, still utterly confused.
After Armstrong caught up with the group he walked over to the one he thought to be the leader, and was about to ask about Tabby when Stephanie (the leader) spoke.
“She just won’t learn... god... we’ve tried everything... and only the newspaper seems to work in the slightest, but it’s only a matter of time before she gets immune to that. She’s like a child.... a very strange child.”
“What all have you... tried?’ Armstrong asked desperate for a conversation with a semi-normal person, even if the conversation itself wasn’t normal.
“Well,... first we tried time out, then we tried ignoring her, third we tried the squirt bottle, and now the newspaper.” Stephanie responded as if it was no big deal.
Armstrong halted... “Squirt bottle? That poor girl... no wonder she’s messed up!”
“She’s not messed up... just special.” Lindsey grinned as she walked past Armstrong.
Hours later the birds started chirping, then as the moon’s final ghastly rays disappeared over the horizon the sun began to warm the air. Still, the group trudged forward as if they were on some dire mission that needed to be completed. Occasionally a few of them (Tabby, Kasey, and Joey who had been forced to play along) would skip a ways down the road, then stop and wait for the others. Other than the random yawn or sneeze none of them spoke, by this time they were all tired and just wanted sleep. After about a half hour they saw the first signs of life (not including the huge spastic oaf that they had met when they arrived) in the mysterious world they were traveling in. After traveling through the town, they found themselves staring at a large building that was being guarded by several men who were wearing identical uniforms.
“Are you guys twinkies?” Tabby asked while pointing to the other two guys and looking at Armstrong’s matching outfit..
Armstrong looked a bit confused then turned his glance to Stephanie. “Twinkies?”
“She means twins.... or in this case triplets.” Stephanie said with a deep heaving sigh.
“...triplets....” Armstrong pondered, “...OOHHHH, our uniforms... no, no these are our uniforms. We all work here...”
“Oh...Okie dokie then!!” Tabby smiled cluelessly.
“She’s completely oblivious to what I’m talking about...right?” Armstrong whispered to Jessi.
“Not a clue...” Jessi responded.
“And mostly likely you won’t have any idea what she’s talking about.” added Joey.
“Just nodded your head and pretend that you know what she’s talking about.” chimed Jessica.
Slowly the group approached the two men standing guard at the front gate.
“HALT!!” they said in unison while putting there right hands out. “Who goes there...State your name, and purpose for visiting Central.”
“It’s OK Fuery, Breada (A/n-sp.?) they’re with me...” Armstrong said as he stepped ahead of the small union.
“Oh, Major Armstrong, welcome back sir! Colonel Mustang is awaiting you in his office.” said Fuery with a smile and a salute.
“I’ll open the gate sir. It will just be a minute.” Breada said as he walked off to the left.
“Waaaiiiiittttttt a minute “Major” I thought your name was Louise? And you guys have a horse as a colonel OH MY GOD! THAT’S SOOOO COOL!” beamed Tabby happily as she jumped up and down.
“Down girl... down!!” Kasey yelled as she picked up a stick, and threw it to the side. “Come on girl fetch the stick!!”
Tabby shook her butt like a feisty puppy and leaped away on all fours after the stick. They all watched her leap off, everyone present sighed except for Lindsey who muttered something about wanting a stick.
“So, now that Tabby is being entertained would you try explaining what the heck we’re doing here!!!” Joey yelled.
“Well... I figured that since you don’t seem to know where you are that we could get the military to help you get home, so I’ll have to ask you to follow me to the Colonel’s office.” Armstrong replied calmly.
Suddenly, Tabby returned with the stick in her mouth, and she sat on the ground beside Jessica and rubbed up against her like a cat. Furey walked and reached for the stick.
“I’ll just take this they really don’t like pets to be in Central...” Fuery laughed softly as he tried to take the stick from Tabby, Tabby growled menacingly at Fuery.
“Careful she bites...hard.” said Lindsey “...just ask Joey.”
Everyone looked at Joey, who in turn raised up his left pant leg only to reveal a set of bite marks on his calf. Fuery grimaced as he look at the wound. Suddenly, Jessi walked forward and pulled out a small cookie-like object.
“Good Girl Tabby.... Did you fetch the stick yes you did! I’ll trade you... the stick for a Tabby-snack.” Jessi coaxed... it worked and Tabby grabbed the cookie and began shoving it in her mouth while giving everyone a steal-my-cookie-and-die look.
Around that time the gate opened and Breda returned and apologized for the delay. Apparently the gate had been sticking lately. So with that the gang headed inside. They were all shocked at just how large Central was. They weren’t in there more than five minutes before Stephanie was run over by a young girl with glasses. The two of them fell to the ground, and the young girl dropped the huge stack of papers she was carrying.
“OH MY GOODNESS!! I’m so sorry, that was all my fault!” the young girl said as she frantically tried to pick up the papers. The group assisted her, and after all the papers had been picked up Armstrong spoke.
“Your still the same I see. It’s good to see you back on the job Scieszka.” Armstrong smiled, “So, tell me, is the Colonel in right now?”
“Yes sir, that was just where I was heading, I have a lot of paperwork for him here.”
“Well, why don’t you let us take the papers?” Armstrong smiled.
“Gee, thanks that’s a real help.” Scieszka said as she practically threw the papers at Stephanie.
After their little encounter with Scieszka the group didn’t waist anytime following Armstrong through the hallways of Central, eventually they came to a door on the third floor, and Armstrong knocked on it twice.
“Enter...” a man’s voice came from inside.
~And there you have it the first part of my fic....Love it? Hate it? Please let me know in a helpful way!~Strawberry
Luckyalchemy27
Wow, that's....interesting. Oo

Tabby is awesome. laugh.gif
A Person
QUOTE(StrawberryShampoo @ Aug 1 2005, 11:45 AM)
A/N- Hey everyone StrawberryShampoo here! Anyway this is my first ever fanfic.... WHoot. This fic is a crossover between real life and FMA. It stars my friends and I, and what happens when we all get sent to the FMA world. This is my first attempt at humor in anything so please don't get too mad at me if it sucks. I don't mind criticism unless you yell at me, I usually take most criticism well and try to apply it to my writings. Any way if you have any Questions about the story please feel free to PM me about. One thing you should know is that Legolas (from Lord of the rings) will pop up several times through out this fic. (He is a cardboard cut out in the story).

Disclamer- I don't own Full-metal Alchemist or any of it's characters. Nor do I own Legolas or The Lord of the Rings. I do however own a cardboard cutout of Legolas and I do own the character known as the squid the rest of the cast (who aren't from FMA or LotR) are real people.
               
                                                    CHAPTER !(1)

  “I got the potato chips!!!” Jessi yelled as she gracefully fell down the stairs of Jessica’s house.
“Low cal and low carb I hope” Lindsey replied from the other end of the room.
The seven of them (Tabby, Jessi, Jessica, Stephanie, Kasey, Lindsey, and Joey) had all gathered at Jessica’s house so that they could transmute certain guys from a various TV shows into their world by using several hundred bags of low cal/low carb potato chips, and Jessi and Lindsey’s ex-boy...whore... chris. Each one was doing their part in making sure that that night would be a success...well sort of. Jessi had fetched the chips, Jessica was fixing her makeup in the corner (really helpful I know), Tabby was reading a fanfic online, Joey was restraining the hostage (chris), Kasey was throwing poisonious darts at joe’s butt, and succeeding in hitting him there, and Lindsey and Stephanie were drawing an alchemic tray on the floor with a horrendous color of sharpie known as pink.
As the clock struck midnight the seven of them prepared for the ritual. Tabby slowly walked forward and sprinkled the potato chips over the symbol on the floor, and occasionally ate one or two of them.
“TABBY!!!” Tabby got a wwaaayyyy to innocent look on her face, “TABBY QUIT EATING THE MATERIAL!!!” Jessica screamed as she returned to her daily chore of ordering the others around. This time she was ordering Kasey and Joey to move the sacrifice (chris) to the center.
“In the book I read it said we should kill the sacrifice first..for... better results...of... course...heh...heh.” (A/–- we need a reason to kill him) Stephanie said as she looked over at Lindsey with a go-to-it look on her face.
Lindsey looked up cluelessly then got her homicidal, I’m-gonna-kill-ya, evil grin on her face as she looked at chris. Slowly she stood up and walked over to him. Jessi started laughing with joy since her stalker was about to be killed by Lindsey’s harpy-like nails. With one swift movement she slit his throat, then ran screaming about being diseased toward the bathroom.
“Should we help her?” asked Joey.
“No she’ll be fine after she finds the hand sanitizer...” said Kasey “...poor girl.”
“IT’S UNDER THE SINK, LINS!!!” Jessica yelled after Lindsey.
After several minuted of poking at chris’s dead, bloody corpse the group noticed that Lindsey had returned.
“Are we ready to start now, kiddies??” Tabby asked as she poked at chris’s ugly head.
“I think so.... everyone get in a circle, and place both hands on the outside ring of the tray.” Stephanie instructed.
“Yea, yea we know the drill we’ve done this before...” Kasey said rolling her eyes.
“Kasey! We don’t talk about last time, we pretend it didn’t happen, just like we pretend that the mutant squid that we transmuted isn’t really here...heh heh.” Jessi said nervously.
Meanwhile the giant purple mutant squid in the back of the room whips out one of it’s tentacles and knocks a lamp off of a stand... the lamp breaks as it hits the ground.
“Ear–earth-q earthquake... yea just an earthquake... that’s what caused the lamp to fall..heheh” Tabby said also looking nervous.
The whole group nodded in an agreement, and looked their own ways.
“Th-third one this week... that poor lamp... heh.” said Jessica.
“.....ANYWAYYYYY..... I’m gonna go over this again so that we don’t get another failed transmutation that results in a squid or Joey or.... uh.... the sacrifice.” Everyone shuddered as Stephanie reminded them of the time they transmuted chris. “So now we shut our eyes and concentrate...”
“RIGHT!” the group said in unison, as they slowly closed their eyes.
“UUUMMMMM....UUUMMMMMM.....”
“TABBY! QUIT MEDITATING!!!” yelled Kasey.
“Sorry...”
Once again the group was silent and as they concentrated on their work a bright yellowish light began to emanate from the floor.
“It’s working...” whispered Jessi, mainly to herself.
Suddenly, the light turned a deep violet and fierce winds began to blow, the girls...and...uh.... Joey had come to know that color of  light better than they had ever wanted to. It meant that something had gone wrong.
“It was the exchange it was equivalent! Chris wasn’t good enough...go figure!!” Joey yelled over the winds.
Shortly after the light changed color,  a bright flash of light blinded them all.
                                              CHAPTER @ (2)
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Tabby screamed causing them all to open their eyes for the first time since the flash.
To their horror they learned they were falling. Plummeting towards an ever closer ground. The whole group screamed in unison especially Joey who was screaming like a school girl on a roller coaster. The only ones who weren’t screaming were Tabby and Lindsey. Tabby had already stopped screaming and  was just staring at the ground, and Lindsey was laughing...too hard to do anything else. With a loud thud they all hit the ground, except for Jessica who had been, by a stroke of luck, caught by a rather large man with a single clump of blonde hair on his head.
“Catching falling objects is a talent that has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations.” the man said as he seemed to glimmer in the sun light, but the glimmer was actually a reflection of several hot pink crystals that had magically appeared around his head.
“HAHA!!! You all suck! I’m the greatest I have landed on my feet!! MuAhahahahha!!!” Tabby gloated as she realized that she had landed perfectly, however she had spoke to soon and with in seconds had fallen over and was now on the ground next to Stephanie.
As for the others... Joey had landed in a thorn bush, Kasey had landed on top of Joey, Stephanie was now sitting in a patch of wild flowers, Jessi had somehow managed to wedge herself between two tree branches, and Lindsey... well... Lindsey had fallen in a mud puddle.
“Just my luck...” Lindsey muddered as she attempted to climb out of the mud, she failed and fell back in.
“Owwww, my poor head....” Jessi complained as she more or less fell out of the tree. “...Where are we?”
“I have no idea... hey where’s Joey?” asked Kasey curiously.
“Ummm.... Kasey honey.... stand up.” Jessica commanded as she climbed down the tall man and onto the ground.
Kasey stood up and looked behind her, and saw Joey lying unconscious in the bush.
“Oops..” Kasey squeaked as she covered her mouth with her hands. “...my bad.”
“Come on, everyone let’s try to get our bearings...” Stephanie said as she gracefully stood up and dusted herself off. “Kasey, you and Jessi drag Joey away from the plant... and **sigh**... somebody help me fish Lindsey out of the mud...”
For the first time since landing everyone noticed Lindsey, who was still sitting in the mud with teary eyes. They all started laughing.
“**sniff sniff** I think I’m gonna cry...” Lindsey complained as Stephanie and Tabby hoisted her out of the mud, completely drenching their shirts in the process.  After several minutes of helping everyone regain sanity, their balance, and consciousness the group began looking around. Eventually, their eyes fell upon the man who had caught Jessica. The seven of them stared at him with menacing wolf’s eyes.
“Ummm....ye-yes..um.... hello my name is.... ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG!!!” The man said while flexing his muscles in an attempt to impress the group... it didn’t work. “Ummm... well... seeing as how your new to the area I, Alex Louis Armstrong shall escort you to Central.”
“Central?” Stephanie said blandly while raising an eyebrow.
“Yes!” Armstrong responded with an unsettled hint in his voice.
“You don’t even know us and yet..... you’d take us to this...this...Central...?” Kasey said as if she was interrogating him.
Armstrong nodded his head, and then beamed at the group. The completely random crystals showed up again, and Tabby walked forward and poked one. The crystal instantly fell out of it’s orbit around Armstrong’s head and shattered as it hit the ground. Tabby’s eyes got wide and she began quickly poking ALL the crystals around Armstrong’s head then she began whistling as if nothing happened, and slowly, slinked away towards the back of the group. They all stared at her, and Joey shook his head in disgrace.
“Moron...” he whispered.
Suddenly Kasey’s hand came out of nowhere and smacked Joey upside the head.
“Shut up, Joey!” she threatened.
After Kasey and Joey’s little squabble the group followed Armstrong down a long and winding dusty road. They walked for hours and hours, and continued to walk long after the sun had set. Though the seven teens had a lot on their minds and too much energy they kept their mouths shut, each one of them was trying to figure out what the heck had happened to them, and where the heck they were.
“We’ll be almost to Central by morning..” Armstrong said  breaking  the silence at last.
“Can’t we take a cab?” asked Jessica, annoyed because she thought her feet would blister from all the walking.
“A cab? I’m sorry I do not own an automobile.” Armstrong replied.
“You don’t own a car? What kind of man are you?” Asked Tabby angrily.
“I don’t know where your from but not many people own vehicles in this area... Even in Central they are rare.” (A/– I’m just assuming this please don’t kill me, I needed something to put here.... besides...I’ve never really seen many vehicles in FMA, just a few.)
The groups discussion was suddenly cut short when a lightning bug landed on Jessi’s nose and she screamed. Everyone stopped and stared.
“Get it off!! Get it off!!!! It’s gonna eat me!!!!!” Jessi screamed.
Instinctively, Tabby walked over and swatted at it. She killed the bug and nearly broke Jessi’s nose. While Jessi was clenching her nose and cursing under her breath Tabby picked up the bug and moved it to her mouth.
“TABBY!!! what have I told you....? Put the bug down... we don’t eat bugs....” Jessica lectured. Tabby ignored her and lifted the bug to her mouth again. “TABBY!!! Do I have to bring out the newspaper again? Do I?”
Tabby whimpered, dropped the bug, and ran cowering behind Joey. Everyone else started walking again, except for Armstrong who continued to stare in disbelief. Slowly, he raised his left index finger and moved it from Jessica to Tabby and back to Jessica with a completely lost look on his face. Armstrong mumbled something about newspapers, potty training, and dogs, then sighed and shrugged, and then continued to walk after the group, still utterly confused.
After Armstrong caught up with the group he walked over to the one he thought to be the leader, and was about to ask about Tabby when Stephanie (the leader) spoke.
“She just won’t learn... god... we’ve tried everything... and only the newspaper seems to work in the slightest, but it’s only a matter of time before she gets immune to that. She’s like a child.... a very strange child.”
“What all have you... tried?’ Armstrong asked desperate for a conversation with a semi-normal person, even if the conversation itself wasn’t normal.
“Well,... first we tried time out, then we tried ignoring her, third we tried the squirt bottle, and now the newspaper.” Stephanie responded as if it was no big deal.
Armstrong halted... “Squirt bottle? That poor girl... no wonder she’s messed up!”
“She’s not messed up... just special.” Lindsey grinned as she walked past Armstrong.
Hours later the birds started chirping, then as the moon’s final ghastly rays disappeared over the horizon the sun began to warm the air. Still, the group trudged forward as if they were on some dire mission that needed to be completed. Occasionally a few of them (Tabby, Kasey, and Joey who had been forced to play along) would skip a ways down the road, then stop and wait for the others. Other than the random yawn or sneeze none of them spoke, by this time they were all tired and just wanted sleep. After about a half hour they saw the first signs of life (not including the huge spastic oaf that they had met when they arrived)  in the mysterious world they were traveling in. After traveling through the town, they found themselves staring at a large building that was being guarded by several men who were wearing identical uniforms.
“Are you guys twinkies?” Tabby asked while pointing to the other two guys and looking at Armstrong’s matching outfit..
Armstrong looked a bit confused then turned his glance to Stephanie. “Twinkies?”
“She means twins.... or in this case triplets.” Stephanie said with a deep heaving sigh.
“...triplets....” Armstrong pondered, “...OOHHHH, our uniforms... no, no these are our uniforms. We all work here...”
“Oh...Okie dokie then!!” Tabby smiled cluelessly.
“She’s completely oblivious to what I’m talking about...right?” Armstrong whispered to Jessi.
“Not a clue...” Jessi responded.
“And mostly likely you won’t have any idea what she’s talking about.” added Joey.
“Just nodded your head and pretend that you know what she’s talking about.” chimed Jessica.
Slowly the group approached the two men standing guard at the front gate.
“HALT!!” they said in unison while putting there right hands out. “Who goes there...State your name, and purpose for visiting Central.”
“It’s OK Fuery, Breada (A/n-sp.?) they’re with me...” Armstrong said as he stepped ahead of the small union.
“Oh, Major Armstrong, welcome back sir! Colonel Mustang is awaiting you in his office.” said Fuery with a smile and a salute.
“I’ll open the gate sir. It will just be a minute.”  Breada said as he walked off to the left.
“Waaaiiiiittttttt a minute “Major” I thought your name was Louise? And you guys have a horse as a colonel OH MY GOD! THAT’S SOOOO COOL!” beamed Tabby happily as she jumped up and down.
“Down girl... down!!” Kasey yelled as she picked up a stick, and threw it to the side. “Come on girl fetch the stick!!”
Tabby shook her butt like a feisty puppy and leaped away on all fours after the stick. They all watched her leap off, everyone present sighed except for Lindsey who muttered something about wanting a stick.
“So, now that Tabby is being entertained would you try explaining what the heck we’re doing here!!!” Joey yelled.
“Well... I figured that since you don’t seem to know where you are that we could get the military to help you get home, so I’ll have to ask you to follow me to the Colonel’s office.” Armstrong replied calmly.
Suddenly, Tabby returned with the stick in her mouth, and she sat on the ground beside Jessica and rubbed up against her like a cat. Furey walked and reached for the stick.
“I’ll just take this they really don’t like pets to be in Central...” Fuery laughed softly as he tried to take the stick from Tabby, Tabby growled menacingly at Fuery.
“Careful she bites...hard.” said Lindsey “...just ask Joey.”
Everyone looked at Joey, who in turn raised up his left pant leg only to reveal a set of bite marks on his calf. Fuery grimaced as he look at the wound. Suddenly, Jessi walked forward and pulled out a small cookie-like object.
“Good Girl Tabby.... Did you fetch the stick yes you did! I’ll trade you... the stick for a Tabby-snack.” Jessi coaxed... it worked and Tabby grabbed the cookie and began shoving it in her mouth while giving everyone a steal-my-cookie-and-die look.
Around that time the gate opened and Breda returned and apologized for the delay. Apparently the gate had been sticking lately. So with that the gang headed inside. They were all shocked at just how large Central was. They weren’t in there more than five minutes before Stephanie was  run over by a young girl with glasses. The two of them fell to the ground, and the young girl dropped the huge stack of papers she was carrying.
“OH MY GOODNESS!! I’m so sorry, that was all my fault!” the young girl said as she frantically tried to pick up the papers. The group assisted her, and after all the papers had been picked up Armstrong spoke.
“Your still the same I see. It’s good to see you back on the job Scieszka.” Armstrong smiled, “So, tell me, is the Colonel in right now?”
“Yes sir, that was just where I was heading, I have a lot of paperwork for him here.”
“Well, why don’t you let us take the papers?” Armstrong smiled.
“Gee, thanks that’s a real help.” Scieszka  said as she practically threw the papers at Stephanie.
After their little encounter with Scieszka the group didn’t waist anytime following Armstrong through the hallways of Central, eventually they came to a door on the third floor, and Armstrong knocked on it twice.
“Enter...” a man’s voice came from inside.
~And there you have it the first part of my fic....Love it? Hate it? Please let me know in a helpful way!~Strawberry
[snapback]236752[/snapback]


Allo!!! I love this story!!! Maybe its cuz im in it!!! This is Jessi speaking!!! I just want you ppl to know that i love the fact that you love Tabby (she is human by the way...and we dont use the newspaper...alot) Well again i love all you ppl for reading my best friends fic well till next time
Squirrel of Doom
Dude that was awesome!Tabby sounds alot like me.Only newspapers don't work cause I'll take the paper and hit you with it.
Guest
yea...um...Debolt? ur fscking nuts.....
oh well, not bad really. Unfortunatly, this is kinda hard to follow unless you've watched alot of anime and know all the characters, human or fictional. So introducing your characters before-hand would be good...
..yeah...
oh! about the cars, i think everything in the FMA world is military run. so the Military has all the cars and people use trains. unless there flithy rich, of course
...hmmm...
yes this is pretty good, you shouldn't forget that if you guys tell the FMA characters what you were doing, they won't like it. remember? Human alchemy is forbidden.
.....ok then!
If you haven't figured it out already, miss debolt, this is Mister Smith
..so....
to the really confused people reading this story, You should really feel sorry for Joe, they acutally do this kinda thing to him....
StrawberryShampoo
Shut Up 'Mister Smith' Your forgetting I know where you live.... Well sorta.... Anyway remember that your going to be in the story moron....
To all the other readers...thanks for reading and reviewing... I try to put a character section up with the next update, and I'll try to make it less confusing... And remember the characters known as Jessi, Jessica, Stephanie, Kasey, Joey, Tabby, and Lindsey are all REAL people! Thanks for reading~Strawberry~
Guest_Kasey_*
Hello, tis me, Kasey from the story. Thanx 4 readin' my friend's story that includes some... uh.... interesting situations....Ne way i really do try to torture joey as much as his little pansy body can take biggrin.gif. Tabs is human by the way... Or i think she is... But keep on readin' our adventures plz!! Lindsey you rock!! cool.gif
StrawberryShampoo
Ok so it took me awhile but I'm finally updating.
Here's a little info on the characters.

Stephanie- the leader- age 15
Tabby- the random one- age 15
Kasey- 15- the violent one
Joey-age 15- the pansy
Lindsey- age 16- the cleverly psycotic (sp.?) one. The seductive one according to Jessi
Jessi- age 16- the outgoing on
Jessica-age 16-the flirt

A/N I'm sorry if any of the FMA characters seem OOC, this is my first attempt at a fanfic and my first attempt at humor. (This part is short and not that funny, it will get better I promise.)
Armstrong opened the door and walked in, the others followed. Armstrong turned to Stephanie and told her to put the papers on desk on the other side of the room. He couldn’t help but notice that Stephanie had split the papers with Joey and Lindsey and the three of them walked forward and placed the papers of the Colonel’s desk.
“Hey! Major! Welcome back!” a rather cheery voice chimed from behind them.
The group turned around only to see a relatively short boy around their age walk in. Behind him stood a suit of armor at least seven feet tall (A/n:I'm assuming his height here). The two of them walked in a bit and stopped.
“Ah, Edward and Alphonse Elric it’s good to see you both agin.” said Armstrong. The crystals appearing around his head once more.
Tabby seeing them, started to move forward, but Kasey and Jessica stopped her. Tabby got a pouty look on her face but stayed still. The short man had stopped beside Jessi and she was now staring at him. Jessi could tell that this was bothering him but continued to stare.
“WHAT???!!! What it is and why do you keep staring at me?!” the boy exploded at Jessi.
“Wow! Your tall!!” Jessi said smiling because she only came up to his chest.
Everyone in the room froze and stared at them. The boy looked at her somewhat shocked then started crying.
“I love you!” he said crying. Ed turned to hug Jessi but was interupted by the so-called Colonel.
“**AHEM** Well, now that Fullmetal has his daily ego boost would you please mind explaining who the HECK these people are and why they’re in my office? Armstrong?” Everyone looked over at the man who owned the office and noticed that he looked quite annoyed.
“My apologies Colonel, but I found these children out in the country and they seemed....well...lost.... I thought we could provide some assistance.”
“Do they have names this time?” asked the Colonel, who was still annoyed.
“Well...I...haven....” Armstrong was suddenly cut off by Kasey.
“I’m Kasey if you must know...” Kasey said in her bad@$$ tone, “Oh and the one pulling her hair in a ponytail is Jessica.” Jessica looked up and smiled then went back to pulling her hair up while Kasey continued. “The boy is Joey, and the one caked in mud is Lindsey.” Joey nodded hello when he heard his name, and Lindsey just waved. “Jessi is the short girl..” Kasey continued.
“I love you too, Kase...” Jessi said her eyebrow twitching..
“Continuing.... we have Stephanie...she’s the smart one..., and the one who is trying to fall asleep on the blonde chicks head is Tabby.” Kasey said as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
At the words ‘blonde chick’ everyone turned around to see a woman with blonde hair that was pulled up in a bun standing in the doorway with Tabby trying to climb on her head.
“Apparently, I’ve come at a bad time I’ll come back later...” the woman said.
“That might be a good idea, Hawkeye...” the Colonel said as he watched Jessi and Stephanie try to pry Tabby off of his assistant’s head.
“Well, you’ve introduced yourselves now it’s our turn.” the Colonel said as he walked around his desk and up to the closest person, who happened to be Lindsey. “I’m Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist.” Mustang put his hand out in order to shake hands. Lindsey just looked at it then wiped the mud on her hand onto Jessi’s shirt. After they shook hands Mustang pointed to short man. “That boy there is the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, and the suit of armor is his younger brother Alphonse.”
“It’s nice to meet you all... You can call me Al.” Al said in a cheery voice.
Suddenly Tabby appeared out of nowhere and began poking Al’s armor. “Is anybody home???”
“Uhhh... Tabby why don’t you come over here and bite Joey again...” said Jessica nervously.
“OK!!”
“NOOOOOOO!!!” Joey screamed as he ran for cover behind Kasey, who just slapped him upside the head for the fifth time since they had all met at Jessica’s.
“I...uh... take it you already know Major Armstrong..... Oh, yes, the woman that was in here a few minutes ago was my assistant 1st Lt. Riza Hawkeye.” Mustang said as he slowly inched away from the violence. “Major, may I PLEASE have a word with you outside...”
With that Armstrong turned to the group. “ Please excuse for a moment..”
Nobody really noticed the two step outside, because they were too amused by Tabby and Joey to notice anything else, even Edward and Al seemed intrigued.

~Well here's part two! Love it, hate it, let me know in a friendly way. Oh yeah, I realize that the spacing is odd, my computer screwed all of the spacing up.
Tabby
Howdy dodie everybody! *big smile* This is the Tabby, just writing to say that, DeBolt...YOUR STORY IS KICKLY BUTT AWESOME!!!! *spaz* Anyway, just checking in so you could update. I luv you all! *big hug* See you guys in later chapies but for now, I must go and continue watching LOTR extended ROTK. *waves bye bye*
-Tabby

Squirrel of Doom
LORD OF THE RINGS IS AWESOME!!!!!!*Has squirrel fellowship pose for picture*And hoora! Updates! laugh.gif
StrawberryShampoo
Well, here's update number 3!

A/N---Sorry if any of the characters seem OOC I'm trying my best...
Thanks for all of the support and I'll try to keep this as humorus(sp.?) and interesting as possible. If anybody has any ideas they are more than welcomed!

Disclamer- I don't own Full-metal Alchemist or any of it's characters. Nor do I own Legolas or The Lord of the Rings. I do however own a cardboard cutout of Legolas and I do own the character known as the squid the rest of the cast (who aren't from FMA or LotR) are real people.



CHAPTER # (3)


By the time the Colonel and Armstrong returned the sun was at it’s midday point, and the gang was as wild as ever. They had somehow managed to get Al to give piggy-back rides, and Stephanie was desperately trying to have a scientific conversation with Fullmetal. By this time Hawkeye had returned, and had helped Lindsey and Jessi track down a roll of duct tape, which was then used to restrain Joey in the Colonel’s rollie chair. After Joey had been restrained Kasey and Tabby got on opposite ends of the office and where now pushing Joey back and forth across the room at an alarmingly fast speed. Jessica was on Al’s back getting carried back and forth, while enjoying herself a little too much. Mustang and Armstrong just stared at the ruckus before Mustang nearly broke into tears at the sight of his newly “redecorated” office. Hawkeye was the first to acknowledge their presence and broke out of her laughter just long enough to salute, and then broke into another fit of insane laughter. The sound of Joey screaming like a cheerleader that had just found a spider greatly amused her. After fifteen excruciating minutes, Mustang and Armstrong finally managed to get everyone’s attention.
“Everyone, please, listen up for a moment, I have important information for you all...”
“Aaaah, shut up and get on with it, Colonel Sarcasm.” Ed yelled rather loudly from his comfortable position on the couch next to Stephanie (and Jessi who thought it would be fun to sit on Stephanie).
“I’m sorry what was that...? Please do not talk up to me Fullmetal, until you don’t have to look up to see me.” After Mustang’s counter, everyone kinda went “OOOOOOOO” in unison and Ed got a homicidal look on his face, his look was eerily similar to Lindsey’s many homicidal looks.
“Who are you calling so short that you need a telescope to see!?!?!?!” Ed yelled back.
Ed went to launch on Mustang, but Hawkeye grabbed hold of his shirt and yelled for assistance, to which Jessica gladly obliged. After Ed had been restrained Jessi launched on Mustang.
“YOU JERK!!! HOW COULD YOU BE SOOO MEAN!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S LIKE TO BE SHORT DO YOU!!!!” Jessi screamed at him as she attempted to beat him to a pulp. Suddenly Lindsey and Stephanie grabbed her and pulled her backwards. Jessi, Lindsey, and Stephanie all fell backwards, and Jessi fell on Kasey.

Jessica, being the polite, sweet, innocent angel she is (note sarcasm) walked over to Mustang and apologized to him before offering to help him up, which he gladly accepted.

“Jessica quite flirting and help me up!!!” Lindsey yelled from her place on the ground.
Jessica gave Lindsey an I’m-gonna-kill-you glare, and then launched at Lindsey, who rolled to the side and Jessica landed on Armstrong who was helping Stephanie to her feet. Once again the hole room broke into pure heck and everyone suddenly attacked everyone else. Kasey and Tabby were strangling Joey in the corner. Jessi was attacking Stephanie because Stephanie had tried to keep her from killing the Colonel and, Ed was attacking Jessica and Hawkeye. Al was trying to save Joey but only succeeded in getting back handed by Kasey, who started screaming something about breaking her wrist on Al’s hard head. Armstrong was flexing and trying to get everyone to pay attention to him, and Lindsey launched onto Mustang for no other reason than the fact that she felt left out, and that since she was Lindsey she therefore need no reason. This continued for about ten minutes.
About that time the office door opened and a man in his early twenties entered. He stopped and looked at the unruly attack, that had somehow shifted to ‘attack the Colonel and see who can do the most damage’. The man just stood there and the cigarette in his mouth fell to the floor. Suddenly he broke into laughter as Hawkeye ended the fight, by kicking the Colonel between the legs (we all knew he had it coming) and screaming something about rather hanging herself in a closet than wearing a miniskirt. The group all became eerily quite as the man’s laughter grew. Mustang began pulling himself up of the floor with the help of Armstrong.
“I’m glad you could join us Lt.” he said, his voice a little higher than normal. Mustang managed to stand up, but he was still hunched over a bit in pain.
“Oh come on, Colonel, it’s not like you have much there to hurt, sir...” The new Lt. Said
“And you would know that how...?” Tabby asked while trying to gnaw on Joey’s leg.
The group all looked at the man and Kasey began to chuckle silently, suddenly the group all burst into a mad fit of laughter, and somewhere along the line the man shrunk away to hide in the corner of the office, he didn’t know who these people were, but they scared him.
“All of you shut up!! It isn’t funny!!!” the Colonel yelled, his face turning a shade of red that didn’t previously exist. Everyone in the group shut up and they remained relatively quiet except for the occasional chuckle.
“Wow, this is as great as the time that Legolas kidnaped Jessi!” Jessica suddenly said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Hey! Jessica that is so not funny you promised me you wouldn’t bring that up!” Jessi squirmed.
The military personal all looked completely lost, they did not know who this ‘leg less’ was but the story sounded highly amusing. “Explain......” Mustang spoke, a slight smirk creeping over his now bruised face.
The group all looked at each other then at the soldiers in front of them, evil smirks creeping over their faces. Stephanie stepped forward. “I’ll begin... it all started back in late May when we were all spending the night at Jessi’s house... sure we were having tons of fun messing with some poor guys head on the internet. When Lindsey brought up the fact that her sister’s Legolas cardboard cut out stalked her...” Stephanie cut off and Jessica picked up.
“Now, we were all used to inanimate objects stalking Lindsey, for, most of them did, and we always believed that it was in her head, but we learned differently when Legolas, actually, ran in the room grabbed Jessi and ran outside....”
“About five minutes later, Legolas ran around the outside of the house and in front of the window we were near... Jessi was being dragged behind him. So Tabby pulled out a sniper rifle and blew Legolas’s head off...” Lindsey finished, “It was really sad we had a sacrificial burying of the body and what we could find of the head.”
Ed looked at Jessi, who’s face was red with anger as she looked as though she would pounce and kill Stephanie, Jessica, and Lindsey. “So you were attacked by a piece of cardboard....?”
Jessi gave Ed a death glare that would have done Lindsey proud had she been paying attention. Jessi then turned her back and headed for the door. She angerly grabbed the doorknob and stormed out and down the hallway. The group following close behind, Jessi managed to get all the way to the ground floor before anything happened to prevent her anger filled exit.
“STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!!!” she screamed as she turned and headed for the glass doors that would lead her outside.
However, Jessi seemed to forget that she was no longer in her world and slammed right into one of the glass door, cracking the poor door.
“Oww, I guess it wasn’t automatic..” JEssi cursed while clenching her nose for the second time since they had arrived in the mysterious world.
“That poor door!!!” Lindsey screamed in pity, “Tabby, the door needs a hug!!”
And with that, both Tabby and Lindsey ran toward the door and threw their arms around the frame and on the handle, both of them sobbing quite hard and muttering something about getting the door reconstructive plastic surgery so that the door would have Brad Pitt’s nose and butt. Meanwhile in the back ground Jessi was on the verge of tears, and Ed was attempting to calm her down, he had even sent Al to fetch her an ice pack from the medical center.
After the large suit of armor had returned and Stephanie and Hawkeye had managed to duct tape the pack to Jessi nose (using the duct tape that was still on Joey’s shirt from the chair incident) everyone turned their attention to the Colonel who had rather forcabley gotten everyone's attention. By forcefully I mean that he had kidnaped Kasey and was threatening to roast her alive. Kasey got an extremely annoyed look on her face and was about to do something to get away when Mustang beat her to the punch.
“FINALLY!!!" Mustang breathed heavily, “Now that I have all of your attention I would like to introduce you to 2nd Lt. Jean ( A/N John I don't know but I'm using Jean...) Havoc, Havoc will escort you all to your rooms for the night and will assist you with anything you may require assistance with...”
Mustang was cut of by Tabby, “You mean like helping us brush our teeth because I always need help with that.” Tabby gleamed.
“No Tabby you’re the only one who needs assistance with that, because your special...” Joey said while patting Tabby on the head, Tabby oddly enough started purring.
Havoc started to lead the group down the hall and held the door open for them. For this he received and occasional nod or thank you, just before passing through the door he looked back at the Colonel, Fullmetal, Al and Hawkeye before giving them a you-owe-me-big-time look. The soldiers watched Havoc disappear through the door as it gently closed behind them.


*Well there's part 3! Leave me a note on what you think! ~~Strawberry~~



alchemydude90
dang this is really long,but good laugh.gif
Squirrel of Doom
I WANT A SNIPER RIFFLE!!!!!!YOU SHALL SURRENDER THE RIFFLE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
StrawberryShampoo
Wow, what a shock! Two updates in 1 day!
@Alchemydude90--yes it is long, and it's only going to get longer for I only have a bout half of it posted and I'm not done yet!
@Squirrel of Doom-- **hands Squirrel a sniper rifle**

Disclaimer--I don't own Full-metal Alchemist or any of it's characters. Nor do I own Legolas or The Lord of the Rings. I do however own a cardboard cutout of Legolas and I do own the character known as the squid the rest of the cast (who aren't from FMA or LotR) are real people.

A/N- once again sorry if they seem OOC. Thanks for all the support and words of advice! I'm still open to ideas so PM me if you've got one!


CHAPTER $ (4)
Havoc lead the group down the labyrinth like halls for what seemed like hours before he finally came to a stop by a small wooden door, turning he pointed to the door.
“You’ll half to double up for the night two of you in here and so on and so forth until you guys each have a room, however, seeing as how there is an odd number of you...one of you will have to bunk with Barry.
“Barry is a guy I take it...” Stephanie said as she slowly opened the door and peered inside the small dorm-like room.
“Yes, he is”
“Is he cute?” Jessica asked as she slowly placed her right index finger on her chin in a pondering sort of way.
“JESSICA!!!!!!!!!” everyone screamed in unison as Havoc stared dumbfoundly at them. Sensing that this was probably not going to end well, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and lit it with his lighter.
“Jessica, you already have a boyfriend...” Stephanie reminded her.
“..... If you could call him that.... I would call him a boyw***e”(A/N yes that was edited.) Lindsey muttered under her breath. Meanwhile, Jessica began glaring daggers at Lindsey and Stephanie.
“Uhhh.... sure he’s...... uuhhhh.... cute...” Havoc said slightly shuddering at the thought. “But I wouldn’t recommend staying with him if you’re a girl...”
With that everyone turned around and started glaring swords at Joey. The group watched as Havoc drug a now screaming Joey down the hall. He stopped and turned around.
“By the way I think I forgot to mention that you should probably pray for your friends life, Barry isn’t exactly right...” Havoc said pointing to his head indicating that Barry was probably not the safest person to stay the night with.... the group began laughing hysterically as Joey’s expression turned to one of complete horror.
Anyway, the group paired up for the night Jessi and Tabby took the first room, Lindsey and Kasey took the room across the hall, and Jessica and Stephanie took the room to the right of Jessi and Tabby’s.
Meanwhile, Joey had found himself in a bit of a situation. He was currently hiding in the closet of his bedroom, while his new ‘roommate’, Barry, was sharpening some knives on one of the beds. Joey sighed and leaned back against the wall. Joey sighed again and recalled Havoc's final words to him before departing in an unusually hurried manner down the hall.
"Did I mention he’s a serial killer?" Havoc asked as he stood infront of the door. "And I don’t mean the type that kills Fruit Loops.”
“A serial killer!?!? Why me????” Joey whined under his breath. He was scared to death that Barry would find him, after all it was only a matter of pure luck that he had managed to escape to the safety of the closet.

A/N -- A lot of this is edited I'll try to get the uneditted version up on a different website if a lot of people want to read it. And yes I know this update is short, but I'm starting to get writers block. Oh and I'll give cookies to whoever guesses whicho one of the group I am.^^
Guest
Hey Debolt! *big smile* Hello Mr.Squirrel! *waves* I was wondering if breif negotiations could be made...broom and extra chewy bubble gum for sniper rifle...*gets big puppy dog eyes* Come on...you can't resist! I luv u all! Talk at u later. *smiles and waves byebye* I agree with you Mr.Squirlie...LOTR IS AWESOME!!!!

-Tabby
A person
ALLO!!!! did you all miss me? j/k *giggles* I am very proud to say that Tabby is now offically potty trained. *laughs* to tabby: dont hurt me *cowers* Tabby is VERY scary when she wants to be. And as to the response to Mr. Squirrel of Doom im waring you now if youget into a fight with tabby YOU WILL LOSE and very badly i might add! i thank you all for reading my friends story ( it makes her feel important) lol j/k she really loves writing about tortureing joey (and we all do it to him in real life) i thank you again for reading this stupendous work of literature *muahaha* ok jessi done now with her english teacher possesion. She is back, but really i thank you for reading this story. Love, the Jessi
p.s- if you message this story soon DeBolt can update ph34r.gif (samook: for strawberry)
Guest
QUOTE(Guest @ Sep 13 2005, 04:25 PM)
Hey Debolt! *big smile* Hello Mr.Squirrel! *waves*  I was wondering if breif negotiations could be made...broom and extra chewy bubble gum for sniper rifle...*gets big puppy dog eyes*  Come on...you can't resist!  I luv u all! Talk at u later. *smiles and waves byebye*  I agree with you Mr.Squirlie...LOTR IS AWESOME!!!!

-Tabby
[right][snapback]283591[/snapback][/right]

Guest_Joey_*
[FONT=Times][SIZE=7

Hi it's Joey from the story! biggrin.gif Thanks for reading, but there really not kidding when they say they've been torturing me! I have been systamatically poked, pinched, punched, slaped, and starred at for the last two years. I guess thats ok because I enjoy most of it anyway ha ha. Its a great story!


The tortured pansy,
Joey ph34r.gif cool.gif
Squirrel of Doom
HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm a girl dude!!!!!! That is so not cool man, so not cool.Yay sniper riffle!!!!!!MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And since I'm editing this I AM A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!remember that. *has squirrel hypnotize you all to remember that* And I am 'Lord' Squirrel please.
Guest_Kasey_*
Howdy all!!
Guess who? Tis' Kasey, i would like to reply to the post our lovable joey made...He's said we've poked him so much when he had a dream that a finger was coming towards him, he flinched in his sleep. Poor, poor joey...*snicker* But we do luv him.

'kay gotta go pray to my Koga laugh.gif (inuyasha) shrine!
Kasey
Flirtatious Blonde~NOT
Hey y'all! I've been told by Straw to make some comment on the story, so I will. You are insanely cruel to me. You know that linz sad.gif . *tear* Be nicer and stop listening to Jess unsure.gif But back on the story and not me grrrrrr feelings. The story's great but post faster. Let us enjoy this interesting (strange) mix of life and fantasy sooner rather than later.

See ya,
The Nonflirtatious Blonde
StrawberryShampoo
Note: the Flirtatious Blonde~NOT--Is Jessica from the story...and as I said before kill Jessi not me...I'm just the writer.
Oh come on Joey it ain't that bad I mean after all you are my b***h. j/k.
Incase anyone is yet to figure out which of the seven kids I am (look at FB~not's post.) I'm Lindsey from the story so no one wins cookies....
Blondie
Hey Linz. All of us that are in the story knew which you were so dry.gif shouldn't we get cookies? happy.gif Pay up! I want cookies! See you tomorrow. tongue.gif

Blondie
StrawberryShampoo
I wasn't talking to you guys in the story lanky.... I was reffering to the readers.... And would you really want to eat anything that i make ... I should hope not.... remember the popcorn balls, honey?


"OH MY GOD!! LANKY IT'S MUTATING IN MY HAND!!!! AIIIIEEEEE!!!"
Blondie
Good point on not wanting anything you make. But you could buy us cookies. biggrin.gif Pleeeeeeze! You never specified and sad.gif ...
I STILL WANT COOKIES!!!!!!! *pouting face* I love you, bring me cookie.

Blondie
StrawberryShampoo
@Blondie--- Alright alright calm down Spaz I'll bring you cookies to tomorrow...Ok Charward...only under the condition you tutor me in math.
Squirrel of Doom
I want a cookie.YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR COOKIES TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I COMMAND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OBEY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
StrawberryShampoo
**hands Squirrel of Doom cookies**
Squirrel of Doom
YAY COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! laugh.gif
A Person (aka THE Jessi)
Hola my peeps! (not the chickins my OTHER peeps) Anyway i have to say DeBolt i have to agree with lanky on the matter of the cookies! We knew who you were why dont we get them *cries* anyway i want to respond to Lord Squirrle. MY DEEPEST APOLOGISE!!!!! I call everyone MR. (ex. A i call the sacrifice (in the story) in real life a MR. *tee hee* any way i also want to make a shout out to our special friend joey! He takes soo much abuse that im surprised he is still standing. So here it is Jessi: I LOVE YOU JOEY!!! I also think Caine should add the Peter Pan song to the story (just for jessi's amusement). until next time *bows*
The Jessi tongue.gif
StrawberryShampoo
hey everyone Straw here...My inspiration bunnies have gotten off their leashes yet again but I didn't want to stop posting here for too long...and since I'm going to Boston for four days I figured I should do it now while I still have a chance.

So here's my mini-update.... (In other words a list of things that will be coming soon in the story.)
~The return of the mutant squid
~More Legolas cut out
~ Joey singing and being caught on fire **thanks to Te Mei for the idea** (possibly together smile.gif )
~Scar's first appearance
~Tabby actually managing to get inside Al's armor.
~The door's reconstructive surgery
~light up rings, straws, and shoes
~The introduction of new characters : Scott, Cody, Amy, Liz, and Tijana. (Minor roles for now.)
~The Pansy Alchemist.
~Jessi getting locked in a closet with Ed. (Oh the possiblities...nothing bad.)
~Al getting stuck out in a thunderstorm.
~ Winry
~More Barry, Havoc, and Ross....and Armstrong.
~~And much much more.....I don't want to spoil everything.
Squirrel of Doom
YAY!!!! THIS STORY IS GOOD FOR MY SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And by the way are you my concience? huh.gif
StrawberryShampoo
@Squirrel--- perhaps..... **doing some weird plotting thing with her hands**
~`I'm really glad that you like this story!
(was afraid that nobody would like it)
Guest
.....
Wow, you folks scare me
But that's ok! cus i still luv you all! Ha ha...Jessica the flirt, that is soo correct, it's exactly like her happy.gif I guess it's a good thing?
Ya this is really good, like pretty damn nice. but you really shouldn't be handing out sniper rifles to people....remember last time?
Sooo what would you call her boyfriend then? eh? what is it? I'm terribly curious, you now.....*3v!L glare, fiddles with painful looking weapon*
Well i don't have any story elements to harp on you about this time around, so cool.
....hmmm
i might become a member of this place someday, but right now im to lazy, but for those who don't know......*drum roll*
My name is Unimportant, bu ti've been called everything from a perverted monk to the antichrist (but i'm pretty sure i'm not, though)
I recently decided that one day i will either (A) bio-engineer The Flood
*ha ha...anyone who knows anything about Halo wants me dead now*
(cool.gif Develop the molecular disruption device aka the Little Docter
*anyone who has read Enders Games wants me dead now*
or © just live a normal life with Jessica (the flirt) Yes people, i am her boyfriend. It really a tragic story happy.gif
So yea, that's me! and if you don't like it i'll use your guts as my bootlaces!!!!!!!! hah ahha hah!!!!!
ok i got to go, Debolt. Au revior
Guest
oh hell
You mean I"M in the story?
......
shit
Debolt, this is not good....
What will you do to me?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!
Guest_Strawberryshampoo_*
OOOO....MISTER Smith.... you don't wanna know. Oh, the possibilities.

Anyway thanks for reviewing C! Call me sometime I miss our random video game convos. Jessica (the flirt) misses you the most though. (of Course)

(Ummm...C that was you that posted as a guest right...right?) **um sweatdrop** unsure.gif ;
The Tabby
Hey DeBolt! I love you guys so much! You're great! I'm on my grammies computer today so that's why I can sign on-ish-ness. Ok...anyway...first I'd like to apologize to Squirrel of Doom...I'm sorry but unless I know who I'm talking to then I automatically assume the male gender. *bows* So sorry and you may keep the sniper rifle. Alright. One big reason I am typing is so you guys can BUG THE CRUD OUT OF DEAREST DEBOLT SO SHE WILL TYPE MORE FMA GOODNESS!!!! OH YEAH! I am so laughter deprived (not) that I need her to write more! PLZ!!!! I luv u all!!! Tomorrow is Hawktoberfest!!! WOOHOO!!!

-The Tabby

PS: Hey DeBolt, I say we gang up on Mr. McCartney tomorrow at the dunk tank! smile.gif C ya!
PPS: Psst...DeBolt...I...c...u...*wink*
Guest
Hi Lindsey! It's Kasey.. I'm still working on our adventure @ the Fright Farm, I hope to have it done soon so maybe your fans can read it. You've gotten alot of people who read your story, but your story is very, VERY hard not to fall on the floor and laugh uncontrollably just because it's got some of the most hilarious things ever!. YAY!!! Hawktoberfest is 2morrow, MUST DUNK DEMCHAK! Also torture our loveable he-b***h Joey
The Infamous Mr. Smith and Compa
Yes debolt, that was me. Who else talks like that, you silly :P
StrawberryShampoo
Fine be mean then MISTER Smith. We'll just have to wait and see how you die in the story now won't we ...**3vIl grin** biggrin.gif ph34r.gif
Guest
Hey everybody! It's the Tabby again! Once more, I ask you guys to bug DeBolt some more so she'll write more. I'm so laughter deprived *tear* Just kidding. DeBolt knows how hard I laughed at lunch today. (DeBolt: She had tears streaming from her eyes!) Anyway, if I may...I'll rant a little. Ok. We're ready the most boring book in the universe..."A Seperate Peace"...it should be burnt and buried in the bowels of the earth. Oh well...here is my rant. This is also the major jist of the story...

EXPLANATION-
Hello, my name is Gene. I am a homicidal maniac that is trying to kill my best friend Finny because I am a deranged axe murder that is afraid of my friend becoming better than me. That’s why I pushed him out of the tree. See how diabolical I am? I also believe that abnormally large men who eat enormous amounts of steak are trying to take over the world. They are also trying to stop me from killing Finny. But I shall be victorious! Victorious I tell you! Try to stop me now, you fat men! Too late…I used my mind controlling powers to make Finny fall down that stairs. Now he’s going to die and the story can end now like it should have ten chapters ago. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Whoops…sorry…my crazy side is showing again.
-END-

Thank You for letting me rant. Anyway...just a little question about last Saturday's episode of FMA (Dante of the Forest...or something like that I don't have a good memory) What did the guy with the tattoo on his face tell Scar's brother that was a heresy? Just wondering because I didn't see "Sin". Oh well. I must go and i luv u all!

-Tabby

Squirrel of Doom
I have returned! And now the Lord commands you to write more updates! I AM THE LORD OF ALL SQUIRRELS BOW DOWN TO ME MORTALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
StrawberryShampoo
I would like to apologize to any of my readers who are still attempting to read this...My inspiration bunnies are finally starting to get hungery and come home for food. So hopefully I will have a brand new update for everyone by the end of the week. ~Straw

The unedited version of this can be found on my website. If anybody is interested in reading the unedited version then just click on the forum family link in my siggie or look on my profile. The title of the page is "The FM-A story."
JudasPriest1
Okay I'll wait.
StrawberryShampoo
A/N: Wow, I think this is where I left off... Anywas here's part 4...I think. Once again my apologies if anybody seems OOC.
Disclaimer: Same as before.



The next morning the group woke up feeling rather refreshed, and the six of them (they had all forgotten about Joey) frolicked about in search of any living people. After looking around for about an hour they ran into a young woman with short brown hair and a mole under one of her eyes, standing next to her was Havoc.
“Morning People!!!” Tabby yelled rather enthusiastically considering how little sleep they had gotten. “How are we all doing this bright sunny morning?”
Tabby’s comment about the weather managed to draw everybody’s attention over to the window, where through the glass the group could see that it was pouring the rain down. Tabby seemed to be oblivious to the weather, though in her own special world the weather was probably perfect with little bunnies hopping around everywhere.
Havoc cleared his throat. “So..umm.... wasn’t there another member of your group....an extremely feminine boy?”
Everyone in the group gave Havoc a ‘deer in headlight’ look, just before an “OH MY GOD!” Look came across Kasey’s face. The shock that they had forgotten Joey hit her so hard that everyone present could nearly see the exclamation point appear over her head. Then without warning she burst into a fit of insane laughter.
“Bwahahahhaha...oh.....my....hehehe....god..... muahahaha....we...*huff** forgot.....Joey! UAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Suddenly everyone realized that they had, indeed, forgotten Joey. Out of the whole group Havoc seemed to be the only one concerned for Joey’s safety. Slowly his face went pale at the thought of what Barry could/would/ or might have done to Joey during the night. He turned to face the young woman next to him.
“Lt. Ross their friend was with Barry all night last night.....” The woman, Ross’s, face went as white as Havoc’s.
Suddenly Havoc and Ross took off down the hall in a hurried manner. The group just stood there dumbfounded for a few minutes, before finally giving pursuit.
The group arrived at Joey’s room a few minutes after Havoc and Ross, mainly because they had all been laughing more than running and the combination took a toll on Kasey, who had passed out on the ground due to lack of oxygen. When the group arrived they noticed that Havoc and Ross had entered the room so the group decided to wait outside. Lindsey and Stephanie let go of Kasey’s arms (they had been dragging her down the hallway after she passed out.) And sat down on the floor. After several uneventful minutes a rather shaken, but otherwise unharmed, Joey emerged from the room. He took one look at the group of girls sitting on the floor and started crying like a baby.
“Pansy.” Lindsey and a newly awaken Kasey said in unison.
This only made Joey cry even more. Joey then fell to his knees and assumed the fetal position, still crying uncontrollably.
“There there, it’s ok. Do you want a lollipop?” Ross asked as she helped Joey back up to his feet. Joey only nodded his head yes, before Ross helped him walk down the hallway. “Ok then, we’ll go down to the Colonel’s office and fetch you a lollipop (A/N: I have no idea why Mustang would have lollipops...**sweatdrop**). Everyone just kind of watched as Joey and Ross walked away, each one hiding a smirk of amusement, and each one knowing that they would never let Joey live it down.
The next hour or so went by rather peacefully, the group was instructed to wait in a lounge area until further notice. Joey had finally calmed down and finished his lollipop. Kasey had stolen the stick from the lollipop and was trying to shove it up Joey’s nose. Stephanie was reading a book on alchemy that she had found on a bookshelf. Jessica was once again fixing her makeup while Jessi was examining her nose. Lindsey and Tabby were playing patty-cake on the floor. Havoc, Ross, Armstrong, and Hawkeye were assigned to watch them. Apparently Colonel Mustang didn’t like the idea of them wandering around Central, though the group couldn’t understand why. They were all quiet except for the occasional hamster like squeak that Joey would let out whenever Kasey would get eerily close to succeeding in making the stick a permanent part of Joey's face. Out of nowhere Jessi broke the silence.
“Hey Joey....why don’t you sing for us?” Joey’s eyes got wide and his face went pale.
“Yes, Joey why don’t you?” Stephanie added on, a dangerous hint at her voice. Everyone, including the officers, had their eyes completely fixed upon Joey. Joey’s head began shaking no vigoursly, he once again assumed the fetal position.
“Come now Joey, sing for us. Or everyone at school will see the Legolas picture...you know the one where you...” Lindsey was suddenly cut off. (A/N I actually have that picture)
“OK!! OK!! I’LL DO ANYTHING!! JUST DON’T SHOW THAT PICTURE!!!” Joey screamed. He took in a deep breath so that he could begin his song, and Havoc pulled out his matches.
“**singing** Hello there, I’m Peter Pan, I’m a little boy forever!! Who–oo AAAAAHHHH!!” Joey started screaming loudly.
“I didn’t know that was part of the song, sing the version that Kasey has on her cell phone and played in Mr. D class.” Jessica added. (She still hadn’t look up from the mirror.)
Suddenly Joey’s shirt went up in flames. Apparently when Havoc pulled out his matches and went to light a cigarette the horrible sound of Joey’s singing voice caused him to drop the match against Joey’s leg, thus, catching him on fire. Joey began running around madly while screaming and crying. This caused great amusement to everyone except the military personal. In fact, the personal were too busy trying to put out the fire then to actually stop to laugh. Though, through the whole thing Havoc seemed to have a vvvveeerrryyyy amused look in his eyes. After the fire had been put out, by means of the girls trampling, pounding, and just plain beating up, Joey collapsed on the ground. Smoke still rising from his motionless, pansy, body. Out of nowhere Stephanie picked up a stick. No not the stick from the lollipop but an actual twig like stick from a tree, and started poking Joey’s body with it.
“Come on, oh come on, get up...YOU’RE NO FUN!!” Stephanie threw the stick down and stormed out of the room after Joey failed to respond to her...ruthless...attack.
Everyone waited for a few more minutes for Pansy...err...Joey to come to, but when he didn’t Hawkeye instructed Armstrong to pick him up and take him to the infirmary. As Armstrong carried Joey down the hallway. Several people who had been forcibly recruited by the girls, threw purple and pink pansies to the ground as Armstrong and Joey passed. In everyone’s mind it was a sign of respect, but to the girls it was just one more thing that they could laugh at...

~Thanks again for reading and my apologies that this section is also short. Critisism(sp.?) is welcome so long as it's done in a constructive way! Thanks again!~Straw!
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.