I finally decided to add my own two cents since it'd be ludicrous if I didn't...
Hmm, if anyone's already read this on Fanfiction.net they might encounter some tiny changes. I tried getting rid of the blah's so I'd end up with a smooth little one-shot/drabble, but things didn't really work out... kaka...
THAT THING WE USED TO DO
by Omakase Shimasu
"Let's do that thing we used to do, 'Niisan."
Fleeting rustle of cotton against leather. "Al... You can't be serious!" The alto voice lowered to an urgent whisper. "We're on a train."
Metal scraping against metal. "I know that, 'Niisan. But you were looking bored and I thought this would be a fun way to relieve that boredom."
"Well, what if someone comes in and sees us? Chances are word about it will reach Mustang's ears somehow and he'll never let me hear the end of it!"
"We never got disturbed during these train rides before. Maybe this car has been rented out especially for us."
"But what if it hasn't?" A frustrated exhale. "Look, I'm sorry Al, but I don't feel like taking that risk. Mustang's been on my case ever since day one and I don't think adding fuel to the flame will make matters any easier."
Uncomfortable silence. Which stretched. And stretched. And stretched.
Big sigh. "Al... what am I going to do with you?"
A distinct smile in the boy's voice. "'Niisan..."
"Yeah, yeah. Just tell me how you're going to..." Rustling of cotton again. "I mean, you don't have your..." Slump. "I... I'm sorry, Al..."
"It's okay, 'Niisan." Reassuring. A soft creak, before leather tapped against metal. "I can always use this horn, see?"
A quick gasp. "Y-your horn?! Al, that's--"
"You can always use Alchemy to soften the point. It wouldn't be fair to you otherwise." Air of suspicion. "You didn't think I would--"
Splutter. "O-of course not!" Mumble, mumble. "So what do you propose to use anyway? I've got nothing on me and I bet you don't either."
"Mmmmm... Ah! We can use those spare oil tubes Winry gave you for the maintenance of your arm!"
"Oh, forgot about those." Rustle, rustle. A soft grunt afterwards. "Here they are... they're both still filled to the brim."
"...but where are we going to do this? These seats-"
Clanking and creaking.
"Un. That way we can chose between doing it on the floor or standing."
Resigned sigh. "OK, Al. Let's do it and get it over with... But I swear, if Mustang gets wind of this--"
"Too late, Hagane no." Snap!
Sergeant Fury couldn't keep from wincing as Colonel Roy Mustang viciously fried his equipment to cinders. A puff of black smoke circled the air around the unrecognizable heap of black dust, spiraling in the air until it dispersed and eventually disappeared. The young soldier barely managed to swallow the cry that wanted to be let out so badly. It had only been a prototype sent from HQ to be tested afterall. If word got out...
Fury jumped and managed a stiff salute. "Y-yes, sir!"
"The listening devices were plagued by a bug. Dispose of this mess immediately." Without waiting for a response, ("Sir!") Roy turned and took his leave. An onimous sign of a thundercloud could almost be made out directly above the man's head if one looked closely enough.
The bespectacled soldier slumped in his chair, far too rattled for the moment to begin the task of cleaning up the junk his superior had left behind. "Whe... ah..."
2nd Lieutenants Breda and Havoc popped up from behind the listening device (or rather what was left of it). "Wonder what crawled up the Colonel's shorts all of a sudden..." Breda asked no one in particular.
The tall blond next to him smirked around his ever-present cancer stick. "Trouble in Paradise, what else?"
A dark chuckle escaped the robust man. "If that's the case I really don't envy Edward at the moment."
Meanwhile, on a train headed for East City, Edward sneezed, thereby officially losing an innocent little game of 'who could balance the oil tube on their nose the longest.'
"That's not fair, somebody talked about me behind my back! I demand a rematch!"
"But 'Niisan if that's true than you would be constantly sneezing all over the place."
"Don't tease your big brother, Al!"
So... Con crit craved~