Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Edward And The 6 Weirdos!
Fullmetal Alchemist Discussion Board > Fullmetal Alchemist Discussions > Fanworks > Fanfics
I was board cause I got sick. It’s some kind of cold and laringidose. I wanted to right a new FULL METAL ACHLEMIST FANFIC! And this idea is really weird and creepy. But I wanted to write it.

Disclaimer: I don’t own FMA but if I did I make Ed my husband.

Ed: I’m 16 and you’re 18 it would never work!


Ed: (Quizzers in fear)

Me: This is a take of one of my favorite fairy tales, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”


Me: I’m not making you a dwarf.

Ed: Oh I guess I’m the handsome princess who saves the princess I hope my princess is Winry.

Me: Well not really. You are the main character, but you’re not the prince.


Me: No you are a prince but not a heroic one.

Ed: You just said I’m not going to be the prince.

Me: go easy on me I’m sick. (cough cough)

Ed: Ok so can you at least tell me what’s going on.

Me: Sure! Ed you are Snow White. Winry is the heroic princess. Roy is the evil king and your stepfather. Al, Hughes, Gluttony, Envy, Scar and Lust are the dwarfs.

Gluttony: I eat dwarfs for breakfast!

Scar: How embarrassing.

Me: And Riza is the magic mirror.

Riza: Joy.

Everyone: ……………

Me: Ok let’s get started!
Our story starts off in a beautiful kingdom that was ruled by a beautiful Queen and she had two sons, Princes Ed and Al. But one day the queen met a handsome man named Roy Mustang, and they married and he became the king.

Roy: Yes I am the king, and all the girls in the kingdom must wear mini skirts!

But sadly one day the queen died. And the two princes were very upset by this, but their stepfather oddly wasn’t. Cause he was able to heal his wounds by watching the girls in skirts in his kingdom and he always talked to his mirror that was on his wall. One day the two princes were fed up with their stepfather and wanted their mother back. So they decided to use human alchemy to bring her back. They tried, but they failed. Prince Al was turned into a trash can and King Roy banished him cause he made his kingdom look less awesome, but he kept Ed because he was missing a couple of limbs, and he thought it would be amusing to watch him be his servant.

Ed: That is not funny!

Roy: (Looking at a mini skirt catalog) I think it is so shut up, and go do your chores you half a prince who will never be as handsome as me.

Ed: (runs away crying)

Many years passed, and Prince Ed grew up into a very hot and handsome prince. He was 16 but had the abs and arms of a 20 year old, and the braid of Duo. This made all the fangirls squeal with delight. One day Roy went to his mirror, and wanted to ask her a very important question.

“Mirror mirror on the wall, who has the most fan girls of them all?”
“Umm… Prince Edward does,” said Riza.
“What impossible why would he have fangirls, he’s a half man, and he’s ugly.”
“No he’s rather handsome, have you seen his chest, that stomach, and his hair. He’s pure hotness.”
“So I have all of my limbs. Nice hair. Power, and I have good muscles,” replied cocky Roy.
“No you don’t you have a beer gut, you’re going bald, and you are not sexy anymore.”
“But if I got rid of Ed I’d be the sexiest in all the land again.”
“Yeah with a little diet and exercise, and maybe some hair plugs.”
“Very well then, I shall call Jenny Craig, but first I should call Lord Armstrong, and take Ed into the woods for a hunt. BMWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!."

Riza: (sweat drop)

Outside the king’s chambers, Ed was doing his chores when a very beautiful princess came by to check him out. The princess had beautiful blond hair, deep ocean blue eyes, and she had been in love with Edward for years. And today was the day she was finally going to talk to him.
“Hello their good prince!”
“Well hello to you too, what may be your name?” asked Ed.
“My name is Winry, and I am the princess of the country known as Auto mail.”
“Oh, yes I have heard of your country. It is very amazing what your people do.”
“Why, thank you kind prince,” blushed Winry.
Ed and Winry talked for several hours, and she even gave Ed some custom Auto Mail for free. With his new arm and leg, Ed was able to do his chores at twice the speed.
“Wow, this Auto mail is great thanks princess.”
“It was my pleasure.”
“I was wondering if you would like to marry me, and we can join our countries, and get my evil step father off the throne?”
“Why, I’d love too,” said Winry.
Ed and Winry kissed and Winry had to get back home, and tell her grandmother the queen the good news. Ed was very happy. He had new limbs, a great body, and a beautiful girlfriend, and once he married her he would dethrone Roy. Speaking of Roy he had over heard what Ed was planning on doing to him, and this angered the fat king. Then finally Lord Armstrong came into the king’s chambers with a box of doughnuts.
“Here are your daily doughnuts my king.”
“Ah, thank you,” said Roy as he shoved two into his big mouth,” I want you to do me a favor.”
“What is it my king, I will do whatever you ask me to, for it is my duty!” said the bizarre knight as he took off his shirt and did a bunch of odd posses, and sparkled as he did so.
“I want you to take Edward into the woods, and finish him off. I was thinking at first you just drop him off there, but I heard this afternoon, he just got engaged and he is planning to dethrone me.”
“About time,” muttered Armstrong.
“What did you?”
“I said it’s about time you got rid of him sir.”
“Good I’m glad you agree, and when you take him out into the woods, and kill him I want you to bring back proof.”
“What kind of proof sir?”
Roy went and emptied out his doughnut box, and told Armstrong to bring back Ed’s braid.
“Now do you understand?”
“Yes sir I do.”
Armstrong left, and he went to go and get Edward, but Edward didn’t want to go out into the woods.
“But it’s to cold, and dark, and I’m tired, and I hate the woods I’m allergy to everything in the woods.”
“Sorry Edward but you’re going,” and with that Armstrong picked up Ed and he ran into the woods.
“Put me down you jerk!”
“Sorry can’t hear you,” Of course he couldn’t he was blasting Right-said Fred’s I’m to sexy for my shirt.
When they finally made it deep into the woods, Armstrong finally put Ed down, and Ed started to look around the woods, and saw a bunch of flowers, and he wanted to give them to his bride to be Winry.
“Wow Winry would love these. I’m going to pick a lot and give them to her the next time I see her.”
“I guess it’s time now,” said Armstrong as he got out his special glove, and was going to use his alchemy to kill poor prince Edward. As Edward was picking his flowers, Armstrong went behind him, with glowing eyes, and was ready to pound Ed into hamburger meat when he realized something.
“Ahhhhhhh… “ He screamed and Ed turned around to see what Armstrong was doing and he screamed in fright like a little girl.
“No I can’t do this,” cried Armstrong as he fell to the ground and started to cry.
“What’s the matter?” asked Ed.
“I’m sorry Prince Edward, but King Roy told me to kill you, but I realized I can’t. It’s a crime to kill someone who hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ll take care of the situation, I want you to run away and never come back, go run and never look back!”
Ed ran away into the woods never to be seen again. And Armstrong had to return with proof he killed Ed, his braid in the doughnut box, but how. And that was when a young man who went by the name of Duo came walking past him.
“Hi there what’s the matter?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, but can I have your braid?”
“Ahhh no, because if I gave you my braid I would loose all my fangirls.”
“Well sorry, but I don’t care!” and with that Armstrong grabbed Duo and cut off his braid.
“I’ll call my lawyers!” he screamed as he ran away crying like a little girl.
“Now if I dye this Ed’s hair color, then it can pass as his braid.”

Well that was chapter 2! I hope you all loved it!
Duo: Not me because the big ape cut off my hair and he’s going to dye it blond, how dare he!
Me: Oh, shut up hair grows back! RR please!
Chapter 3 We meet again, and who are your friends?

Me: Ahh chapter 3 I’m so glad we finally made it this far.

Ed: Not me now I have to live in the cold nasty woods.

Me: Ed you wont be alone for very long. We meet the idiots.

Ed: Who are the idiots?

Me: let’s meet the crew!!



Scar- Grumpy

Al- Bashful

Gluttony- Dopey

Envy- Sneezy

Ed: No Doc?

Me: He’s not important

Doc: (cries)

Me: Ok so let’s get started!

Ed: How about no!

Me: (get’s out a gun and starts shooting Ed and leaves an outline of him on the wall)

Ed: O.O

Back at the palace Roy was eating a dinner big enough for four kings, but he was eating by himself, and getting fatter. Armstrong finally returned with the braid.

“Sir I have something for you,” said Armstrong. He handed Roy the doughnut box with the newly dyed blond braid inside.

“Ah, thank you. You brought me a doughnut.” Roy took it and put it in his mouth.
“Ah, sir that’s Ed’s braid,” said Armstrong.
Roy: O.O I knew that!

Armstrong: Sure Whatever.

Back in the woods Ed comes across a medium sized cabin, and it looked like people were living in it.

“Hey I found a place to live! Awesome I thought be alone in the woods anymore!” Ed shouted with happiness as he ran into the cabin. “Hello is anyone here?” asked the Prince as he looked around, but could find no one. Ed went up stairs to see if he could someone or something, but he found some interesting things all right. “Wow such interesting things,” said the prince,” Oh, an oiling can, a little girl’s picture, and sunglasses to. And a frilly bra?” said Ed as he picked it up, and whistled. I can’t believe what a mess this place, or what kind of people live here, and I can’t believe what a neat freak I’ve become since I became Roy’s servant. Oh well, might as well get to work on this place.” With that Ed started cleaning the cabin; while he cleaned he sang a song and danced.

Ed: I don’t sing and dance.

Me: Well you do dance. (loads gun)

Ed: O.O

Me: dance prince dance (shoots at Ed’s feet)

Ed: (dances)

Not to far away from the cabin were mines, and if there’s a mine there are minors, and not the 12 year-olds who try to drink. These minors mined for the Philosophers stone, (They ain’t going to find it in a mine). It was sundown and it was time to go home, and on the way home they sang a song, and all marched in a single file.

Hughes: It’s home to work we go!

Envy: (behind Lust) Hi Ho Hi Ho.

Lust: Stop calling me that!

Envy: I’m singing the song!

Al: (Behind Envy) Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho.

Lust: STOP IT!

Scar: (sweat drop)
Gluttony: (Behind Scar) Can I eat when we get home?

Everyone: YES!

Back at the cabin Ed had finished cleaning, and he was cooking supper, for him and the people who lived in the house.

“Wow I can’t believe how dirty this place was! I’m going upstairs to take a royal nap,” said the prince as he went upstairs, and fell asleep, on one of the beds. The six idiots got home, and to their surprise the house was clean, and there was food cooked and waiting for them.

“Someone is in our house!” screamed Hughes.
“Someone or something,” said Al.
“Is it a witch?” asked Gluttony.
“Is it a friend?” asked Scar
“Is it a monster?” asked Lust.
“Is it your pimp?” asked Envy:
All six of them looked around the house, looking for the someone, the something, the friend, the monster, or the pimp. Their searches lead them upstairs, and into the bedroom.

“Hey someone was in my bed!” screamed Hughes.
“Someone was in mine!” said Al.
“And mine!” said Scar.
“And mine,” said Gluttony.
“And mine,” said Lust.
“There’s always someone in your bed!” laughed Envy.
“WILL YOU SHUT UP!” screamed Lust,” Wait what about Envy’s bed?”
“No one will ever go into his bed,” stated Hughes.
“No the person is in Envy’s bed!” said Lust, and everyone looked over at the bed and saw a lump in it. Hughes went over to the bed and lifted up the covers, and inside the bed was not a monster, a something, or a witch. It was a someone, and a friend, and possibly a pimp. It was prince Edward.

“Brother?” asked al.
“Brother?!” asked everyone else.
Ed turned a little in his sleep, and started to wake up, and everyone ducked behind the footboards of the beds.
“Hmm that was a good nap? I wonder if the people who live here have returned yet?” ed asked himself as he searched the room.

“Oh but we are home,” said Hughes.
“YOU BAKA!” yelled everyone.
“EEEKKK!” screamed Ed like a little scared schoolgirl,” Who are you?” he asked as they popup their heads above the footboards one-by-one. “You really are a bunch of weirdoes, just as I thought,”

“Brother do you recognize me?” asked Al.
“Hmmm. Voice is familiar, wait is that you Al?”
“Yes it’s me brother.”
Ed and al hugged.
“Well Roy sent me here cause he thought I made “his” Kingdom look bad, by being all metal so I was banished, and I meet these nice people, and we mine for the Philosophers Stone, so we can have the power to over through Roy.”
Yes, it true,” said Hughes,” He kicked me out of the kingdom because I annoyed people with my daughter’s cuteness, and people started to think she was cutter then Ro, so he kicked me out, and now he’s the “Cutest” in all the land!”
“Not anymore, he’s put on a lot weight.”
“I wouldn’t mini skirt so he kicked me out,” said Lust.
“I was trying to make Roy Lust’s pimp daddy, but he doesn’t pimp girls who don’t wear mini skirts,” said Envy.
“I ate all his food,” said Gluttony.
“I look cooler then him,” said Scar.
“Man, well don’t worry cause I’m engaged, and once I get married Roy won’t be King anymore, and when I’m king you all can come back, and live the lives you used to live, but 10 times better!” shouted Ed, and he stood on the bed acting all heroic like.
“YEAAAHHH,” everyone screamed as they shouted hail King Edward.

Back at the palace Roy visits his magic mirror.

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, is this not the braid of Edward after all?” asked Roy hopping it would be a doughnut.
“No sir, that is the braid of Duo that you hold in your hand.”
“THE BRAID OF DUO!” shouted Roy as he stuffed the hair in his mouth out of anger of wanting a doughnut.
“If you want to kill Ed you have to do it yourself. Ever thought of that?” asked Riza.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh no.”
“Okay go to your cabinet and there is a bottle in there, and get out the black bottle, and read the instructions on what to do.”
“Do not stick this bottle into any light sockets. Don’t get it to close to open flame, keep out of reach of children.”
“No not those sir,” sighed Riza.

Back at the cabin

“I will cook and clean for you while you guys work all day how does that sound?” asked Ed.
“Great!” said everyone else.
“so brother when are you, and Winry getting married?” asked Al.
“I guess the next time I see her I’ll marry her.”
“And Roy wont be king no more?”
“Yup!” music starts playing,” I’m going to be a kick ass king, like no king was before!”
“Please don’t go into Disney songs it to late at night,” said Envy.
“Okay sorry about that.”

So that night everyone went to sleep, and had dreams of how they would live their new 10 times better then it used to be life when Ed would become king.

Me: There chapter 5 is done! And it’s midnight I need to go to bed.

Ed: I hope you don’t update for a long time cause I don’t want to be their servant boy while I wait for my princess to come back and get me, it’s to much like a fairy tale.

Me: Ed this si a fairy tale, sorta.

Ed: Well, I don’t want to do it any more!

Me: You will because if you don’t I shall feed you to the rabbi fabgirls, AGAIN!

Ed: No please don’t anything but them, I still have the teeth marks, and hickies from them.

Me: Then you be good!

Ed: (sitting in a corer crying) Yes I will, just NOT THE FANGIRLS!!!!!

Me: RR please and thank you
Saturn Stars
Woah Woah, that was quick! I think your doing good so far. But it would be much better if it wasn't in script format. You might want to consider that. Keep going! Continue and I shall wait for more
Me: Hey people welcome to chapter 4 of Edward and 6 weirdos, I hope you’ve enjoyed the first three chapters.

Ed: I didn’t, and now I have to live in a house with all these weirdos and be their servant. I’M A PRINCE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Me: Yea a short prince.

Ed: (Get’s mad)

Me: You need to drink some milk!

Ed: I will not drink anything from a cow!

Me: Kay, fine stay short!

Ed: I will!

Me: Now on with the story, this chapter is called,” I love my new friends, and Roy is up to no good”

Ed: When is he not up to no good?

Me: Good question.

King Roy was in his chambers, mixing together a potion that would help him get rid of Ed.

“So all I have to do is, let this weird stuff sit out under the moon for 3 days, and when it comes to a boil drink it, and my appearance will change?”

“Yes,” said Riza the magic mirror.

“I bet when I drink this I’ll become the sexiest in all the land again, and I will kill Ed, and be on the cover of GQ Magazine all in the same week. Hahahaha I love it.”

Riza: (sweat drop)

Back in the woods in the cabin the seven friends were having a party, with music, dancing, and no drinking!

Ed, Lust, Envy, Scar, and Hughes: DAMN

Me: What o.O

“Hey Lust why don’t you sing us a song?”
“No thanks Envy, I’m much to embarrassed,” said Lust.

“Ok then Al, tell us some of your Roy jokes!” said Envy.

“Ok, how many Roy’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?” asked Al.

“How many?” asked everyone.

“Two. One to try and screw in the light bulb, and another to keep bringing chairs when the fat king brakes them!”

Everyone started laughing at Prince Al’s joke about his stepfather. As mean as it might be, he deserved it. The seven friends sang danced, and partied until dawn, even Scar partied and got down with his bad self.

Scar: I am so bad!

Everyone: yea you are… at dancing (falls over laughing)

Scar: Don’t me use my alchemy on you!

Everyone: O.O

For the next three days the seven friends in the cabin were happy and merry. Ed would fix breakfast, lunch, and dinner for his friends, and his friends would go and work in the mines all day, and they would party, and tell stories and jokes. But little did they know King Roy was planning Prince Ed’s death day. Three days had finally pasted, and Roy’s potion was finally ready.

“Who is the evil king who will be hot again? I AM I AM! Who is the hot king, who has a beautiful girl in his mirror? I AM I AM! Who’s the king who sucks his thumbs? I AM I AM! Oops to much info!”

“Yes sir, way to much,” sighed Riza.

“Now I shall drink this potion, call GQ, and kill Ed,” said Roy as he gulped the potion, and he could feel his body start to change, his bones were reshaping, he was loosing fat, and he could feel his whole body change. “It is done, now to look at my new found sexiness in the mirror,” he walked over to the mirror, and to his surprise he was not sexy, he was old, very old, and he had white hair, wrinkles everywhere, and hair growing out of his ears, nose, but he did loose all his fat. “What the hell happen to me?” asked Roy.

“My potion made you older sir,” answered Riza.

“What speak up I can’t hear you!”
“I said the potion made you old!”




Riza: (get’s a fog horn) THE POTION MADE YOU OLDER!

Roy: What the potion made me… older, oh no, this isn’t good, I have to cancel my photo shoot, and ohhh man my back is hurting, and I need a nap, and I’m going to drive really slow on the highway so all the young people will honk their horns, and get mad, and cause traffic accidents, and hopefully the officer that will arrest me is wearing a mini skirt.

Riza: (double sweat drop)

Ed was making breakfast, and Gluttony was getting impatient, so he started chewing on Al’s arms.

Al: Brother help me!

Ed: Gluttony, how many do I have to tell you? Stop eating my brother!

Gluttony: Sorry but he’s tasty, and I’m hungry.

Ed: Well don’t worry because breakfast is done!

Everyone ate breakfast in peace, and after they were all finished, the 6 idiots went to go to work in the mines, and search for the stone.

Ed: Goodbye everyone, have a nice day!

Everyone: Bye Ed!

Ed finished up the breakfast dishes, and he started baking a pie, and he was singing a song about his love Winry.

“Someday my princess will come, and we’ll get married, and dethrone the evil Roy, someday when my dreams come true!”
Then he heard a knock on the door, wondering who it was he went to go, and open the door, but then he remembered what Hughes told him…

“Ed don’t open the door to strangers, unless it’s my wife and daughter, or someone with an apple pie, Okay!”

“Hello is anyone home?” asked the person on the other side of the door.

“It depends who are you,” said Ed.

“Oh, just an old man, who is selling peach pies.”

“Sorry I’m not support to answer unless you’re selling apple pies.”

“Oh, did I say peach I meant apple.”

“Oh, then okay,” said Ed as he opened the door to find a little old man.

Little old man: (hey people you know it’s me right? Roy.)

“Please come on in, I bet you’re probably tired,” said Ed as he escorted the man into the kitchen.

Roy was cooking up something, and it wasn’t apple pie.


At the castle Roy is putting on an old black robe, and ask Riza about his outfit.

Roy: Does this make my butt look big.

Riza: Men don’t have butts they scratch them off. You look like a frog stood up and put on a pair of double nit pants.

Roy: What speak up I can’t hear you ( put’s a hearing horn in his ear so he could hear Riza a bit better)


“Oh my poison apple is done!” said Roy as he went to go and it get out of the caldron, when he picked it up it had a skull on it. “Ack! A skull I’m scared of them!”

Riza: (rolls here eyes)

Roy: Now I shall take this apple to Ed and with one bite he will go to sleep forever, and not wake up, but only when his true love kisses then will he be woken.

Riza: Are you not worried that Winry girl will come, and save ed when she hears about he being dead?

Roy: Nah!
(end Flashback)

“So what are you doing here all by yourself?” asked Roy.

“I help take care of the people who were banished by King Roy,” said Ed.

“How nice of you, please get me some water!”

“Right away,” Ed went to go and get some water, and while he was gone Roy got out the poison apple, and outside, Ed’s woodland friends number 48 and 66 saw what Roy was planning.

“We need to tell the idiots,” said 48.

“You’re right, and after we do, we kill the King!” said 66 or Barry the Chopper with delight as he shaped his blade.

The two ran to the mines to find Ed’s friends before it was to late.

Me: Wow I wonder what will happen next.

Ed: I hope it all ends soon!

Me: It will the next chapter will be the last.


Me: rr plz.
Me: Hello Everyone, and welcome to the finally installment to Edward and the 6 Weirdos!

Ed: Is it really the finally chapter?

Me: Yes!

Ed: Oh Thank you!

Me: I wanted to hurry up and end the story, so I figure I’d do it today.

Ed: I hope it don’t last very long.

Me: It might who knows.

Ed: O.O

Me: Maybe if we stop with the commentary and get to work it’ll be all over soon.

Ed: Yea!

Chapter 5: It is the End!

Numbers 66 and 48 ran deep into the woods to get to the mining caves to find the idiots. They had doubts, of Hughes and the gang believing their story.

“They will never believe us!” said 66.

“They have to or else Ed will die,” said 48.

They ran until they finally made it to the caves, and told them how the evil King Roy turned himself into an old man. And was going to kill Ed. The six weirdos ran to the house, stopped Roy from his evil plan, saved Ed, and Ed got married to Winry became a kick ass king and lived happly ever after.

The End.

Ed: Yea it’s over!

Me: What happen? (Peaks over Ed’s shoulder) ED DID YOU GET ON MY COMPUTER, AND MAKE A CRAPPY ENDING TO THE STORY?!

Ed: Ahhhhhhhhh… No…O.O

Me: (Takes Winry’s wrench and hits Ed in the head)

Ed: Ouch X.x

Me: Okay back to the story! And this will be the real ending!

48 and 66 finally made it to the mines, and found the 6 weirdos hard at work, and they tried to tell them, but they were not so for sure, about what they were saying.

Scar: Why should we trust you two I mean you’re convicts and big liars.

Envy: Yea, I really don’t believe it for a second, I mean how could Roy find our home.

66: He has a magic mirror.

Envy: I knew that.

Lust: No you didn’t Envy.

Gluttony: I want to eat the magic mirror.

Al: So brother’s in trouble? We have to hurry and help him!

Hughes: We can go and check on him, but we’ll fall behind schedule.

66: WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE OUR FRIEND!!!! (get’s out his bunching knife, and starts chasing Hughes, Al, and Envy).

48: ( get’s out his sword and chases Gluttony, Lust, and Scar.

They chase them back up to the cabin, to find a little old man, that looked like a frog stood up and put on a pair of double nit pants came out of the house.

Hughes: He looks suspicious.

Al: Ack! I think that’s King Roy!

Everyone but Al: Nani!?

Al: I knew he had a potion that would make him into an old man but I never would have thought he would ever use it… EVER!

Roy: Now I will be the sexiest in the land, but first a nap.

Hughes: You King Roy what were you doing here?

Roy: Ahhhhhhh… That’s none of your business! You brats get off my lawn!

Al went inside the house to check on Ed, and he found his older brother on the kitchen floor… DEAD!


Roy: Please try my apples they are very tasty.

Ed: Why I’d love to. (takes a bite) GACK! (falls to the floor)

Roy: (takes Ed’s pulse in his braid) Yup he’s dead.

Ed: You killed me!!

Me: No I didn’t Roy did!

“No brother!” cried Al as he ran to check to see if his brother was really dead, and he was. “He has no pulse!”

“Well of course not you’re checking his braid for a pulse,” said Lust.

“That proves he’s dead!” cried Al.

“He won’t get away with this!” yelled Scar.

Roy started to run away, and the six weirdos followed after him, with torches, pitchforks, and a frying pan.

Roy: I’m running out of breathe, I need some oatmeal, and VIGAGRA!

Everyone: O.o

All of a sudden for no good reason it started to rain, and the rains came down really hard, and trees were being washed away, and Roy was still trying to run away, but they were catching up to him. Roy had reached the top of the cliff, and he was looking down, he was trapped, like a turkey on Thanksgiving day.

Hughes: Roy if you come peacefully we will not kill you… right away, and we are willing to listen to your demands.

Roy: All I wanted was to be sexy again, and try to get along with my stepson, try to make the whole a better place, oh what have I done?

Hughes: So are you going to change your evil ways? And work to become a better man now?

Roy: No, I’m just shittin’ with yea! But not about the part where I want to be sexy again.

Everyone: (sweet drop)

Just then a giant lighting bolt hit the edge where Roy was standing on, the ledge crumbled, and fell apart, and it sent Roy to his bloody death below. And his body was later on was eaten by vultures.

The six weirdos returned home, and they put Ed’s body in a beautiful glass coffin, and put him out in the sun, cause he was to beautiful to barry.

Ed: You should not put a glass coffin under the sun, I’m burning up in here! At least I’m getting a good tan.

Time passed, weeks turned into months, and the six weirdos visited Ed’s coffin everyday after working in the mines, and put new flowers around Ed. One day Princess Winry came in on her noble Dog with an automail leg, Den, to see if the rumors were true about prince Ed being dead. Winry was shocked to see Ed her beloved in a glass coffin, but she was happy to see he had gotten tanner. She lifted up the top of the coffin and she gave Ed one last kiss on the lips. After Winry did so she knelt down to start crying, as so did the others.

Winry: Oh Ed I will never love another!

Then Winry felt a hand wipe away her tears of sorrow
Winry: Ed are you alive?

Ed: Yes I am.

Winry: Oh Ed!

She flew her arms around Ed, and gave him a big ol’ hug. Ed got up, and carried Winry over to her noble steed. When everyone saw this they rejoiced with happiness, and started to dance and sing. Ed said his final good byes to his friends, and before he told them that they were free to go back to their homes, and to live their lives to the fullest. Ed and Winry set off into the sunset.
Some time later Ed and Winry got married and combined their kingdoms, into one happy and joyful kingdom. As for Ed’s friends, the weirdos. Hughes was allowed to show off pics of his daughter and his new daughter Nancy, to the whole kingdom. Lust and Evny started a nightclub. Scar got on the cover to GQ magazine. Gluttony became a professional food taster. And as for Al, he got his body back, and he is now married. Ed and Winry have two beautiful children. A daughter named Angel and a son named Kito.

As for Barry the chopper, he became the palaces chief, and part time babysitter for Angel and Kito.

Barry: Hi kids! WANNA PLAY!?

Angel and Kito: O_O MOMMY DADDY SAVE US!

(Barry starts chasing them with his butcher knife)

Number 48 became the palace guard, and he was ver good at his job.

Fangirl 1: May my friend and me see Ed we’re very big fans?

Fangirl 2: Yes please?

#48: Hmmm… let me think about that. Ahhhhhhh…. NO (starts to chase them away)

And everyone lived happily ever after the end.

Me: (closes the story book) wasn’t that great Ed?

Ed: Yea I guess it was, I like the part where Winry and me got married.

Me: What do you think of my Full Metal Alchemist fairy tale?

Ed: At first I didn’t like it, but now I love it.

Me: I’m so glad, I should write more. LIKE CINDERELLA, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. MULAN!

Ed: Mulan O.O

Me: Maybe not. Well people I must be going on, make sure to read all my other fanfics.

Ed: yea they’re very good!

(Lauren and Ed takes bows)

Saturn Stars
Well that was a ride, I think you updated all that within the space of Five minutes, well I applaud you for your enthusiasm, good work
*bursts out laughing* Omg, that was flippin' hilarious! ^^
*Grabs sides* Lol lol hilarous.
lol, it was really funny
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.