<Closing the thread for now since the church "founder" has been taking the break from the board since Oct. 2006. 03/26/07 ~Tombow>

hello and welcome to the first church of Hito-ism, the only religion founded for not just tax evasion purposes but absurdity as well.

first off i'd like to introduce you to our patheon..

Bumba (aka Mbongo), the vomitting creator himself

Lumaluma, the patron diety of assholes

Ogo, the most messed up guy of all time

Bian Cheng Wang, the office manger from hell... literally

Sui Ren, the original iron chef....

Kitshi Manito... i don't know why he's here, there's just something about a god that does nothing but sit there with a pipe.... maybe he's the native american god of lazy stoners...

also, honorable mentions go to Flaming Teeth and Yara Ma Yha Who, for being two of most ridiculously named mythical creatures of all time.

so go forth my children, and spread the love and insanity that is Hito-ism....

Hito: you have outdone your self this time. I mean who would of thought of something this rediculous and insane besides you?

I like it.

Hahahaha!

Those shirts are pretty sweet.



Do you have any pamphlets or do I actually have to talk to people?

i'm working on the pamphlets... you can just send links for now...

I'm loving this already.


I also request for pamphlets or brochures. I don't want to "actually have to talk to people". Most people are . . . stupid, for lack of a better word.

I hope you are not referring to me.

If I'm going to insult someone, I come right out with it. Don't worry. If it's you, you'll know.

Are you going to re-institute temple prostitution like they had with Baal - we must do as Baal does and have sex with our sisters

The beauty of ancient near eastern pantheons - why mess with the classics

What the hek is wrong with you arche?

I shall go forth, knock on many doors, have many doors slammed in my face but still keep going...

....and spread the word.

I'm cultured and well read

if baal wishes it to be so, then let it be so.... who am i to argue with baal?

Yes and our harvest will be plentiful!

We need to begin ascribing actions to the pantheon to make sure that we delude ourselves into believing they are acting in the world for our favor as we show worship of the pantheon

lol, It would be cool if there was a god of anger.. then maybe this and the AAG can become one mega-conglomerate and take over the world.

???There is something wrong with having sex with your sisters?

Ohh that is what I am going to make on the AAI forum.

god of anger.

"Lyke omg" I'll join can I forcefully make people join?

well as long as we are on a debauchery bent, here are a few late additions to the pantheon...

Abeguwo, mistress of the golden shower

Backlum-Chaam, the patron god of the hard on.

Bagadjimbiri, the inventors of doggy style, as it were...

Hana, the original pole dancer

Honoyeta, the creator of the break up

That is just wrong man.

How did you find all these gods? These things sort of creep me out!

We need a creation myth. Also a flood story (or some other - let's start over story) is good as it was a common story. That's what will help legitimize this thing

well bumba, or the more fun mbongo, covers the creation myth. though a do over story might be in order... i'll see if i can find/come up with a good one.

as the next step to legitimize and solidify the hold of Hito-sim on the masses, here are the first of the fourteen and a half commandments; the last tablet got broken in half during one of the monthly Rituals of Inebriation.

1 - Spam in all its forms, whether it be the meat product or the useless information dispersal, is a mortal sin.
2 - The human body is the most advanced machine of all time, therefore all things associated with it are not be thought of as shameful in anyway, unless you are fat or ugly that is. This includes nudity, sex, bodily functions, self manipulation, etc...
3 - The dumb SHOULD be ridiculed.
4 - There is nothing wrong with hedonism.
5 - Anything that can be produced purely through biological means can be freely enjoyed and considered holy.

more to come soon...

I guess now there needs to be apologists to begin the work of defending this new system against all forms of noobism

just wait until the noob inquisition....

I understand the points but the gods still creep me out