Apr 14 2005, 06:04 PM
Chapter One: Missing Research
Ed sighed as he stared at the pile of books in front of him. "This is going to take forever! Looking for some research that hasn't been found since the Ishbal incident? What a waste of time. What was the research again?" Al looked up from his book. Something about human growth, I think. The ones who started it were I think Alamus Theinfield and his wife, Rebecca." Picking up a thick red book, Ed opened it to the first page. "Well, lets get started." The two looked through the books for what seemed like hours, Lieutenant hughes coming in every so often to check on their progress. And to show them more pictures of his daughter. Ed snarled loudly as the door opened. "How's it going, Ed?"
With his eyebrow twitching, Ed gave hughes the deadliest glare he could. "Just. Peachy." Hughes put his hands up in defense. "Calm down! I just came to check up on your work!" "And show us more pictures of your daughter, I suppose?" Hughes clasped his hands together and his eyes began to sparkle. "Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Looking at Ed's angry face, Hughes saw that not even the cute face of his daughter could make the young alchemist happier. In fact, it would probably do more damage. "So, what have you found so far?" Ed sighed. "Not much. It would be easier if we knew what we were looking for. All Mustang said was it was written by Alamus and Rebecca Theinfield. Do you know anything about it?" Hughes scratched his head and sighed. He stuck his head out the door to make sure no one was listenin and closed the door. "Ed, I really shouldn't be telling you this, so I'm doing you a favor. I know that Mustang was given orders from the top dog to find this missing research, even though no one really wants to." Ed and Al sat up. "Top dog? You mean the head State Alchemist?" Shaking his head, Hughes leaned foreward. "No, I mean top top dog. The king. Right after the Ishbal incident, the state hired two alchemists, Alamus and Rebecca, to try and find a way to make their armies stronger. I knew them both and their daughter, Kit. You see, they owed the state for funding some big project, I don't know what. But the state funded it and the two were in their debt. After the incident, the state wanted them to find a way to genetically alter humans and make them unstoppable killing machines. They gave them all sorts of creatures to experiment on but no humans."
Full Blade Alchemist
Apr 14 2005, 06:14 PM
Great job!! But you kinda had some spelling errors.
Apr 14 2005, 06:22 PM
That's a great fanfic! I'm horrible at writing fanfics, so this is exponentially better than anything I could write XD. Great job and keep up the good work (I feel like an English teacher grading a student's paper)
Apr 14 2005, 06:32 PM
that's really good. It's also interesting. I feel like my teacher grading a certain piece of my work. (Except yours is actually good, and mine is horrible)
Apr 14 2005, 07:34 PM
Chapter 2: Human Sacrifice
"Then, when Alamus and Rebecca had succeeded in making a rat take on a man with a huge axe and a gun and win, the state said they had to find a human subject. They were offered prisoners, but they refused and said they would look for a willing test subject. The Brigadier general put a deadline on them and said if they didn't meet it, they would be killed. Alamis and Rebecca didn't make the deadline, and before they were killed..."
The Brigadier general stared at the two scientists. "So you have no test subject?" Rebecca lifted her head. She was a gorgeous woman. Her sunset orange hair was pulled neatly into a bun without a hair out of place. Her dark green eyes were tired and sleepy behind her narrow glasses. "No sir. We're sorry. We tried. But the subject has to be young and healthy, and we couldn't find anyone willing like that. We would have used one of the prisoners, but they all have some sort of disease. We're sorry." "So am I. It's a shame to to waste two scientists such as you. But I gave you plenty of time and you failed." Alamus took his wife's hand in his own. His midnight black hair was slightly touseled and his icey light blue eyes were fierce and defiant. He certainly lived up to his title. The Wild Wolf Alchemist. "We know we have failed you and we accept out punishment." Rebecca looked to Hughes. "Lieutenant Hughes. If you would look after Kit, we would be very grateful."
The Brigadier general nodded to his firing squad and they took aim. "Ready! Aim! Fi-!" "Wait!" Hughes stared as a little brown haired girl racedin front of the squad. "Wait! Please don't kill my mommy and daddy! They did find a test subject!" Alamus knelt down and laid a hand on his young daughters shoulder. "Kitten..." "I'M their test subject!" Clasping a hand to her mouth, Rebecca's eyes widened. "Kitten!" "Please, Brigadier general sir. I'll be their test subject. I'm really healthy! And I'm young too! I won't mind the pain at all! Please, sir." Alamus picked up his daughter and whispered in her ear. Rebecca walked over and the family began a quiet conversation. The general spoke up. "If you agree, I'll spare your lives and the girl can become your test subject." Finally, the three nodded and turned to face them. Rebecca closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We've decided...that Kit will be our test subject."
Apr 15 2005, 08:36 PM
Chapter 3: Something You Would Do
Ed stared in disbelief. "You're kidding. She really sacrificed herself to save her parents? That's a really brave kid." Hughes nodded, deciding to keep his comment of how it was just stupid, like Ed and Al trying to bring back their mother. "If she were alive todat, she'd probably be about a month or two younger than Al." The said younger brother removed his eyes from his lap and placed them on Hughes face. "You mean she died?" Shrugging, Hughes leaned back. "I don't know what happened to her. All I know is she was tested on. I don't know wat happened to her parents, either. Central and everyone covered it up. Anyway, if you want to continue your research, try looking for the Wild Wolf Alchemist and the Silent Sun alchemist. Alamus's and Rebecca's titles. They were two of the best. It's a shame they disappeared." Ed frowned in thought. "Where's the lab they were stationed at?" "Hm? It's not in Central." "Huh?" Looking at the two brothers, Hughes shrugged again.
"Yeah, it's in an old abandoned city called Camille. Not too far from here." Suddenly realizing what he had said, Hughes narrowed his eyes. "Why?" Ed looked at Al and smiled. "Oh, no reason." Al gave something similar to a smile and stood up. "I think we'll turn in for the night, lieutenant." Ed yawned, stood and stretched. "Yeah, we've been working pretty hard." "Oh, no you don't. I know what you're going to do. You're going to sneak off once I leave, go to Camille and find that laboratory.Ed, as your comanding officer..." hughes stood up and struck his most manly pose. "I have to tell you that you can't do that. It's a dangerous abandoned laboratory in a dangerous abandoned city. I can't let you two go alone. Especially with Scar still at large. You never know where he is." Putting on his best innocent look, Ed scooched for the door, Al sliding to it as well.
"C'mon, Hughes. You know us!" Hughes opened his mouth to say something, but Ed and Al were already halfway to their room. "That's the problem. I DO know you. And I know that's something you would do. Better put Ross and Brosh onto the job of protecting them." Hughes scratched his head as he walked out. Ed watched him from a crack in the door. "Darn. He's onto us. We'd better stick it out for a few days. Until then, we'll have to plan our trip to Camille. We'll just do it later than we thought."
Apr 16 2005, 03:22 PM
By the way, since the description may be a little confusing (because I messed up), it's supposed to say Ed and Al have a new project. Sorry! ^.^;
Apr 16 2005, 06:28 PM
I like it so far. But...it'd be more readable if you put spaces when another person starts speaking.
Apr 16 2005, 11:26 PM
Chapter 4: Just a Touching Moment Between Brothers
Nodding, Al sighed and lay down on his bed. "Brother? Do you think we'll ever fnd the Philosophers stone?" Ed turned off the lights and walked over to his younger brother. Sitting down on the bed, he placed his real hand over Al's eyes. "Of course we will. And when we do, think of how good it you'll look. We'll change you back, and then you and Winry can hold it. And when I can finally quit the army, we'll get my arm and leg back to normal. Then we can go live full time with Winry." Al nodded and sighed again. "I can't feel your skin, brother. I know it's there. I can feel the weight, but I can't feel how soft it is or it's warmth." Raising a hand up, Al ran it across Ed's face. "I can't feel your face or your hair. I can feel their weight and see them as well, but I can't feel them. It's hard to explain."
Ed raised his real hand and placed it on Al's. "I know, Al. Don't forget. I have automail limbs. I understand the feeling." Both brothers were silent for a while. Soon, Ed fell asleep and Al stood up. He picked up Ed and walked over to the opposite bed. Placing him down gently, Al covered him with a blacket and returned to his own bed. "Good night brother. Sweet dreams." Al was soon asleep, so he didn't notice the shadow on his windowsill. "Camille? Hm. They said it was an abandoned city. Perhaps...I can stay there until I find out who I am." The shadow disappeared just as fast and silent as it had come. Watching it from a distance were two more creatures, though more humanoid. "There he goes again. Forgetting everything he once knew. I hate it when he goes Maim." "Me too. Good thing those idiot boys were talking about Camille. Now he's headed home." "Hm. I'm just glad they didn't send him to one of the laboratories in Central." "Yeah, that would have ended in chaos. Lets go."
Apr 17 2005, 01:40 PM
It's a great fanfic! pls cook up Chap 4
Apr 17 2005, 03:52 PM
Chapter 5: Run Away!
Hughes and Roy watched as Ed and Al looked over the thick books. "Don't you think it's suspicsious? I told them about the lab and Camille a week ago and they haven't left." Roy nodded his head in thought. "Maybe they won't go." Both alchemists looked at each other and then at the brothers again. "if they've really changed, than we can trust them. Come on Roy. I seriously doubt they're going to go running off to Camille the second we turn our backs." Sighing, Roy nodded and began to walk off, Hughes behind him. Ed and Al watched them go before grinning at each other, "Lets go Al! The train leaves in eight minutes!" "Right!" Both boys carefully climbed out the window where the two suitcases were hidden. Grabbing them, they ran off quickly, heading for the train station. Meanwhile, in the library, Maria Ross walked in with a pile of books. "Hey Ed, I found some books that...might...help..." Looking around the empty room, Maria's face grew red. Sticking her head out the window, she could see Ed and Al running towards the train station. "EDWARD ELRIC, YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! I MEAN IT ED!"
Roy and Hughes heard her shouting and looked at each other again. "Then again, maybe they haven't changed." As Roy turned and sprinted for the front doors, Maria and Denny Brosh right behind him, he glared at the lieutenant behind him. "No, YOU THINK??????" Lieutenant Armstrong was just about to walk into the library when the doors suddenly burst open and Roy sprinted out, Maria and Brosh at his heels and Hughes running after them. "Morning Lieutenant Armstrong see ya later!" Watching them, Armstrong could just barely see Ed and Al running for their lives. "Here we go again." Sighing loudly, he began to run quickly after the young alchemists. Ed saw Armstrong running after them. "Shoot! Run faster Al!" "I'm running I'm running!" Looking at his watch, Ed saw that the train was leaving in five seconds. Thankfully, the station came into view just as the train began to pull away.
"Al, hurry! We can jump on!" Roy began to speed up until the others were left behind. "EDWARD AND ALPHONSE ELRIC, I COMMAND YOU TO GET OFF THAT TRAIN!" Ed turned and waved to them as the train got farther and farther away. "We'll send you whatever research we find!" Both brothers waved good-bye as the group of five came to a stop and nearly collapsed. Hughes panted as he flopped to the ground. "I knew it...I just...knew it..." Maria nodded. "Once...an Elric...always...an Elric..." Roy punched the ground. "Curse...those two...when they...get back...I'm going...to make...their life...miserable..." Armstrong stood up, still a bit winded. "Where are they...going?" "Camille..." Maria, Denny and Armstrong went silent all at once. "D-did you say...Camille?" Hughes and Roy nodded. "S-so that means..." "Yes." Roy stood up and looked after the train. "They're going into the heart of the Playground of the Homunculi."
Apr 18 2005, 05:36 AM
It's good *rubbing the stomach* just kidding =3, anyways, I think it's good except it need to be separated apart into paragraphs so we can understand it.
Apr 20 2005, 03:52 PM
Chapter 6: The Warning
Ed flopped onto the seat as he tried to catch his breath. Just the thought of Roy when they got back made him want to run away again. Al sat accross from his brother and pulled out their train tickets. "We made it." "Yeah...and Roy's gonna haul BOTH our butts when we get back to Central. Did you see how fast he was sprinting? I didn't know anyone could run that fast when all they ever do is sit in an office." Al nodded and a pretty young lady walked by them. Her eyes were somewhat black and her smile...different. "Tickets please." "Here you are." "Thank you sir we are glad to have you aboard may I get you anything." Her entire speach sounded as though she had memorized it.
"Hey, you're a Homunculi." "May I get you anything sir food water anything." Her voice was dull and used and she looked tired. It could be she was just angry about wearing an extremely short black skirt and tight maroon top. "Um...no thanks." The girl nodded and passed them, leaning down to Ed's ear as she did. "You're a state alchemist. Please help us. We need your help. Free us. Kill us. We beg you." Ed gasped and looked up at her, but she had already moved on to the next couple. "Brother? What's wrong?" "Al...did you...hear her? She asked me to free her. To kill her. She's a Homunculi, Al. What's a Homunculi doing on this train?" Al shrugged and the train door suddenly opened.
A large man stepped out. His big black moustache looked like someone had kill a black weasel and guled it to the man's face. It also made him look like a walrus. A slightly bald walrus. He grinned down at Ed. "Ah, young Edward Elric, the State Alchemist. You don't know how pleased I am to meet you! If you need anything, and I mean anything, I'll get it for you! Or I can have my lovely assisstant, Becca, get it for you. Oh Becca!" Ed and Al looked to the door where a gorgeous woman walked in. Her forest green eyes were dull, just like the other Homunculi's. Her hair was a fiery sunset orange. "Yes sir?" "Make sure Mr. Elric and his gaurd get one of our first rate rooms!" "Yes sir."
Turning to the two, Ed got the feeling he had heard of this woman from somewhere. "This way, Mr. Elric. We knew you were coming and prepared a romm for you." Ed and Al followed the woman to the car that held the rooms. Unlocking the door, she turned to face them. "Edward Elric. You must not go to Camille. I beg you. It is not safe. Turn away. Run. Your life depends on it." "What are you talking about!?" Becca bowed before walking in the opposite direction. "You're a Homunculi, right?" "Yes. All who serve on this train are. Except him. He uses us, Edward Elric. He uses us and treats us badly. Kill us. Free us. Then run away." Ed and Al stared after the woman. "Brother? What do we do?" "...We save them, Al. Once we reach Camille, we'll set them free. Even if it means we have to do some killing in the process." "What about her warning, brother?" "...We're going to Camille Al. And that's final."
Apr 21 2005, 05:21 AM
That's good, the homunculi involved in the story, that's excellent *claps*
Apr 22 2005, 08:41 AM
Chapter 7: What They Find Pt. I
It had been seven hours since Ed and Al had jumped onto the train. At the moment, they were being served dinner by a male Homunculi. His dark brown hair was pulled into a neat ponytail and his grey eyes seemed dull and lifeless. "Here is your dinner sir please enjoy." "Uh...thanks." The man bowed and walked off to the kitchens. "I don't like this Al. Homunculi are uncommon. But they're all over this train. And they all seem dull and lifeless. Like dolls. And everything they say sounds like it's been used over and over again, they just don't see the point in putting any energy into it." "It seems like no one else realizes this." Looking around, Ed saw that his younger brother was right.
Everyone else was laughing and completely ignoring the Homunculi. Suddenly, a beautiful woman with long blond hair and brown eyes walked up to them. "Well, I see you two got away from Mustang again." Ed blinked and both of the brothers looked at her closer. "L-Lieutenant Hawkeye! How did you...when did you...what are you doing here?!" "Keep your voice down, shorty." "SHORTY?!?!?!" Riza slapped a hand over Ed's mouth and sat down next to him. "I heard from one of the Homunculi you were going to Camille. My advice is to come with me back to Central." Ed and Al looked at her, the question marks above their heads obvious. "But...this train doesn't go to Central." "I know. I've been given personal leave to see my aunt. You two can stay with me until I need to go back."
Shaking his head, Ed placed his elbows on the table. "Sorry Lieutenant. Al and I have orders from Mustang to find out about the Human Growth Project." "Did he say you could go to Camille?" "Not exactly, but he didn't say no either." "Did someone ELSE say no?" Ed and Al looked at their laps. "Ed." "Maybe..." Sighing, Riza held her head in her hands. "Hughes told you about Camille, didn't he." "Just a little." "And then he said you couldn't go." "Just a little." "And then some time after he told you you ran to the train station and jumped on the train with him trying to catch you." "That's not...100% accurate." "Who else was chasing you." Ed grinned nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, you know, Lieutenant Armstrong, Lieutenant Ross, Lieutenant Brosh and...uh...Mustang."
"...You do realize they were chasing you for a reason. Camille is too dangerous for two kids. In fact, it's too dangerous for anyone. Camille has a nickname. It's called the Heart of the Homunculi Playground." Someone from the table behind them coughed as Riza whispered it. A young man stood up quickly and turned to face them. His orange hair was tousled and his green yellow eyes were wide with fear. "D-did you say...the Heart of the Homunculi Playground? Th-his train goes...th-there?" The three at the table nodded and the man's eyes tripled in size. "No...NO! Run! Run for your lives! It's the end! The end has come! They're sending us to our doom! Get away!" Grabbing a window, the man wrenched it out and leapt out it. Many people in the car gasped and one woman even screamed. The Homunculi did nothing but walk around and ask people to stay seated.
"What was that about?!?!" The Homunculi that had served the brothers earliar came up to them. "Please remain in your seat we are merely experiancing a minor difficulty it will be taken care of shortly." A stout man whom had been sitting at a nearby table grabbed the front ofthe Homunculi's shirt. "Are you insane?!?!?!?! That man just commited suicide!!! Don't you even care?!?!?!" "Please remain in your seat sir the owner of the train cannot be blamed should anything happen to your health." The man slowly let go before stepping back and pointing a finger at the server. "Y-you're one of them...a thing! A monstrosity! A devil! You've some to kill us! Just like that man said!"
The Homunculi turned to Ed and Al. "Please remain seated the owner of the train will be out soon and-help me! Release us! Save us! Please!-he will take care of the problem until then enjoy dinner." As soon as the man had gone to another family, Riza turned to the brothers. All three were silent for a minute or two. "I think we're in trouble."
Apr 22 2005, 08:53 AM
write more chapters!
Apr 22 2005, 01:15 PM
Chapter 8: What They Find Pt. II
The owner had come out and spoken to each of the families. One of the Homunculi had taken Riza back to her room and then escorted Ed and Al to their room. Ed walked over to the door and placed a hand on the handle. "Where are you going brother?" "I want to talk to the owner. I won't be gone long." He twisted the handle. It didn't move. The silence in the room lasted for an entire minute. It was so quiet, you could hear a cell sneeze. Then the bomb went off. "WHO LOCKED THE DOOR?!?!?!?!?!" "It looks like you won't be gone at all, brother." Ed grabbed the handle with both hands and pulled as hard as he could. It was almost like trying to make a wall swing open. Standing, Al grabbed the handle as well and yanked back. The door didn't budge. "Brother?"
"Who the heck locked the door?!?!?!" "Remember when that man said they were taking us to our death? Maybe he was right." "Okay, stand back Al. I'm going to get that door open even if it means I have to rip off the hinges with my bare hands!" Al stepped back as Ed clapped his hands together. He placed them against the door and blue lightning blinded the occupents o the room for a second. When the brothers opened their eyes, the door was unscathed. "I don't believe this!" "Brother, do you hear that?" Ed placed his ear against the door and listened. There was a voice on the other side. It sounded like one of the Homunculi.
"I do not understand." "Simple, my dear. I can't get into Camille without paying something. The last time I was there, a Homunculi told me I needed a certain ingredient for a fake Philosophers Stone. Humans. And lots of them. This is the perfect plan! I give those freaks the people on board this train and they give me the secret to immortality." "You can not do that." "Watch who you're talking to, missy. I made you. I saved you from death. If it weren't for me, you'd be a corpse on the floor, just like your late husband." "That would be better than having to help with this masacre." "Relax, Rebecca. Or should I say, the Silent Sun Alchemist. Just do as I say." Suddenly, the female voice, Rebecca, burst into tears and seemed to run away. "Al...we're in trouble. We're in lots of trouble."
Al stood up. "Then we should get out of here!" "Not yet Al. We have to save these people. The owner of the train is planning on giving them to the Homunculi in return for the secret of immortality." "But brother, there is no secret to imortality." "I know." Realization suddenly hit Al. "But...that means..." "That's right. The Homunculi are lying to him. He's just going to be another one of their sacrifices." "But...Homunculi can't be alchmists! You need an alchemist to create a Philosophers Stone!" "Where do you think we come in?" Al gasped. "You mean..." "He knew he was the only train that even mentioned going near Camille. He knew we'd take the bait and we did. Why do you think we got placed in this particular room? The only one with a door that can withstand alchemy? WE'RE the alchemists, Al. We were tricked. Right from the start. And now it may be too late."
Apr 22 2005, 01:23 PM
it's true that homunculi can't be alchemists?
Apr 22 2005, 01:29 PM
*shrugs* They needed Ed to make the fake Philoshephers Stone, so I guess they can't. By the way, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'll write the ninth chapter soon.
Apr 22 2005, 01:33 PM
why don't you send this story to ff.net, I'm sure it will help, or you can give the story to me so I can send it to ff.net because I have an account there
Apr 23 2005, 04:55 PM
Chapter 9: Destination and Destiny
Both brothers sat there, silent, trying to come up with a plan that would save them and everyone on the train. What the owner had said was still in Ed's head, like the lingering taste of something delicious. It was raining outside. The window was reinforced glass, and no matter how much they had pounded on it, it wouldn't give. In short, they were stuck. They train had at least tripled in speed and they were about half an hour from Camille. "Brother? What can we do? We can't use alchemy, and brute strength seems useless as well." "We'll think of something. Maybe one of the Homunculi will let us out. They may just be souless shells, but I know they have feelings. I mean, the woman, Rebecca, she actually cried. She seemed really upset."
"Wasn't Rebecca the name of one of the scientists that did the Human Growth project?" Ed blinked and looked up at his little brother. "Hey, you're right! And her title was the Silent Sun Alchemist, just like that man called her! It has to be her!" "But if he could make a Homunculi of her, doesn't that mean she's dead?" Both of them were silent again. Suddenly the train jerked and Ed was thrown into Al. "We're speeding up again?" "I think we're almost there." "Great." Suddenly, there was a scratch at the door. It became a loud screeching noise that pierced Ed's ears and made them begin to bleed slightly. Ed cried out in pain and clasped his hands over his ears.
The screeching suddenly stopped, just as soon as it had come and complete silent filled the room. Al knelt down and tried to wake up Ed, whom had passed out. "Brother? Brother, are you all right? Brother!" The door was knocked down and two Homunculi walked in. One was Roys' height and his hair was a black color with green highlights. His skin was a deep tan and his dark green eyes gave off a sinister gleam. Beside him was a slightly shorter man with dark blond hair and navy blue eyes. "So he's Edward Elric. The great 'Full-Metal Alchemist'. What a joke." The taller man nodded and Al gasped as he saw an enourmous black python drape itself over the man's shoulders. "Heeee issss sssstill a chiiiild, issss heeee notttt, Akuuuu?" The tall man nodded again and walked in towards the two.
"You stay away from my brother!" The other Homunculi grinned and gave a short bark of laughter. "Oh please! Do you really think we'd be afraid to kill you? We only need ONE alchemist. You're just a bonus. A toy in a cereal box. Now move over." "I won't let you use him!" "Oh? And how are YOU going to stop us? You're a hollow shell. A nothing. Do you really think he needs YOU? You're so big, you get in his way. You can't do anything right. You make him worry. You're so clumsy. Why does he need YOU? Get out of our way. I hope I get the chance to kill you." Aku grabbed Al's shoulders and threw him into the wall. "Turrakdin may not care for your health, but I would rather you stay alive. Killing is not my forte. I promise no harm will come to your brother. He can repair you when we're done with him."
Walking over to Al, Aku ripped off his arms and legs, being careful to stay away from his blood seal. "We will come back for you eventually. Until then, please stay here and refrain from saying anything." "No! Stop! What are you doing!?" The tall Homunculi gently picked up Ed and began to carry him out. Turrakdin grinned. "Just wait. Aku'll start spewing some 'destiny' crap." "Shut up. If you don't like it, go flirt with the Homunculi aboard this train." Giving them both the finger, Turrakdin stalked off. "As I was about to say, it is this boy's destiny to create the Philosophers Stone. He is the only alchemist able to do so. He will be a savior. A god. You'll see." Al was silent for a long time after Aku left with his brother. "...Ed is NOT going to be happy when he wakes up."
Apr 24 2005, 11:58 AM
Chapter 10: Wrong Way Escape
Ed woke up to find he was on a stone tablet. His arms and legs were chained to the sides and his fingers tied together. "What the-?!" "You're finally awake. Good." Ed tried to see who was talking, but his head began to spin when he moved it. "Who's there?" The face of Rebecca appeared in front of him. "You are in the outskirts of Camille. We are not allowed to go in yet. The other Homunculi are waiting for the results of your diagnostics." "Huh?" "We have to make sure you're the real deal. The original. The one. Though from your automail limbs, I guess we can assume you're the real thing. But one can never be too sure. There are too many alchemists in the world."
Ed snarled as loud as he could. "Where's Al?" "He's fine. Once you make the Philosophers Stone, you can fix him." "FIX HIM?!?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO AL?!?!?!?!?!" "Nothing. I have not touched your brother. I can assure you, he's safe. He may even come in handy." "You're Rebecca Theinfield, aren't you?" The woman became silent. "That would be my name, if I were the original Rebecca Thienfield. My true name, if I had one, would be number 26. I'm the last of the Homunculi created by the owner of the train." "I've met Homunculi before. You're nothing like them." "Because we weren't made correctly. The one's you met were made by real alchemists. We were made by rats off the street who asked for little pay."
Ed was silent as the woman took some of his blood and checked his automail. "Why is Camille called the Heart of the Homunculi Playground?" "All Homunculi end up there eventually. We just migrate there. Unlike the Ishbalins, we unconsciously group together. Our instincts, though fake, tell us to stay together. So we do. Camille and the area around it is where we...play. Where we can be...us. Even though we're not human, we still feel. No one bothers with Camille. We've made sure of that. They leave us alone while we're here. It's sort of a haven." The silence made the room seem empty. "...26...have you ever heard of the Thienfields?" "Yes. I inherited the personality and a few of the memories of Rebecca Thienfield." "Then you know about the Human Growth Project?"
26 shook her head. "If I were you, I would leave that research dead to the world." The chains were loosened and Ed jumped up. "Edward Elric. I know you don't want to make the Stone. So I'm going to help you. I can lead you to Al and give you things to fix him. Then I can point you to Central. But you must agree to do one thing for me, no matter what it is." "Okay, I agree. Now what is it?" "I'll tell you when we get outside." 26 grabbed a box of metal and dumped the chains into it. Taking Ed's hand, she ran down a long corridor. "Do the Homunculi really have the things to make a fake Philosopher's Stone?" "Yes. We have been collecting pieces for generations. All the way back to when the very first Homunculi heard about the possibility of a fake Stone." "That long?"
The two ran up at least five flights of stairs before they reached a trap door. 26 placed a finger to her lips before opening the door and climbing through. It was dark and the rain was still falling, though lightly now. Ed and the Homunculi ran to the abandoned train and 26 wrenched the door open. "They haven't moved your brother. He's in the car your room was. The door's broken, so you won't have any trouble getting in. Central is to the north. Don't go west, because that's where Camille is." "Wait, I owe you a favor!" "I haven't forgotten, and I'm going to use it now. Kill me." "WHAT?!?! I can't do that! You said it yourself! Even though you're not human, you still feel!"
"And all I feel is pain. The memory of what happened in the Human Growth project haunts my sleep. The death of her husband repeats over and over in my mind, like a broken record." Ed could see the tears forming in her eyes. "The girl, Kit, as she screams in pain about how much it hurts. It's driving me mad. I've tried so hard to become a shell, to get rid of the memories and the pain. Please, Edward. Ed. Kill me." They were both silent for a minute before Ed looked down. "26...close your eyes. Get on your knees and close your eyes." The Homunculi did as she was told. Ed placed a hand over her eyes. "Alchemy is the process of taking something, breaking it down and constructing something else. But if you stop at the second step..." Images of Scar flashed in his mind. "Good-bye, Rebecca."
Apr 24 2005, 01:29 PM
Is this story a Mary-Sue?
Apr 24 2005, 06:09 PM
No. No no no no no no. I can't stand Mary-Sues. So no. If you're talking about 26, she's dead. If you're talking about Kit, no. It's NOT a Mary-Sue.
Chapter 11: Welcome to Camille
Edd dashed into the room where Al was quietly sitting. "Al! Are you okay?" "Brother! Yes, I'm fine. Are you-" "I'm great we've got to go!" "What? Why?" "Well, apparently all these Homunculi want me to make them a fake Philosophers Stone by using the people on the train and they've possibly realized 26-" "Who?" "Rebecca. They've probably realized she let me go. I have to fix you and then we have to get off this train." Al watched silently as Ed recreated his arms and legs. "Where's Rebecca...26 now?" "Uh...she's...um...I'll tell you on the way to Camille!" "But brother, isn't that where we DON'T want to go? And where's 26?" "I think that's where they took the prisoners and Riza. And 26 is...um...dead." "WHAT?!?!?!"
"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" "Sorry! What?!?!?!" "Look, it was her idea! I promised her I would do her a favor and that was it! Don't blame me! I wasn't happy about it either!" Ed stood up and peeked out the door. "The coast's clear. Come on!" "Brother...was it really what she wanted?" "Yes. I didn't want to, but it seemed nicer to kill her than to let her live." "Oh." "Come on. We have to go." The younger of the two brothers nodded and they made their way out of the train. "This train station seems so abandoned." "We're in the Homunculi Playground. Well, the outskirts at least. Come on. Central is that way, where the sun is rising...RISING?!?!?!" "Brother, hush!" "I don't believe this! Just how long was I out?!?!?!" "Come on!"
Shaking his head, Ed followed his brother down the grey road. Multiple animals bounded in front of them, apparently unafraid. There were no Homunculi in sight. Black clouds rolled in and lightning threatened heavy rain. It felt like they had been running for hours before it finally began to pour. It was almost like buckets of water were being dumped on them. Only, the rain didn't let up. They ran for five hours before Ed collapsed against a column of an old, slightly demolished church. "I can't...fell...my leg..." "Brother, maybe we should rest." "Yeah, that's a great idea." Ed flopped down on the steps and sighed. "We've been running for forever and we aren't getting anywhere." Nodding, Al looked up at a nearby sign. "Actually brother, that's not true." "Oh?" "Look." The blond sat up and scanned the sign. "Welcome to Camille."
May 3 2005, 06:15 PM
Kit! that Is awesome so far! It looks like you need more than just one person's support! Keep up the good work!
And what is a Mary-Sue? ?_? I am so lost. I wanna know so I dont make a Mary-Sue by accident in my fanfic (check out Dreamer)
Thanks! Oh, and this is what a Mary-Sue is:
A story [fanfiction] where there is one character whom is equal to a god. He or She is smarter, stronger, faster, and prettier/handsomer than all the other characters in the story. All the characters of the appropiate gender fall in love with him/her and everyone stands by and claps while gaping in awe while he/she saves the universe and stuff. The character, for some reason, talks and acts like the author. THAT is a Mary-Sue. Calling someone's story a Mary-Sue story is pretty much the biggest insult in fanfiction kingdom.
Now on with the story!
Chapter 12: Where They All Went
Ed and Al looked around as they snuck into the town. "Brother, where are all the Homunculi? I thought you said they were all in Camille." "I thought they were, but I don't see any of-" "Hey! I found em'!" Without looking behind them, the two brothers began to sprint down the road, past the Homunculi that were gathering. "Hey, get back here, alchemist!" "Run Al, RUN!" "I'm running, I'm running!" One of the creatures leapt at them from a dark ally and tried to grab Ed. Luckily, the alchemist was too short and the Homunculi leapt right over him. "What the-?! Stupid shrimp!" The said shrimp stopped in midstep and turned to face the Homunculi. "What. Did you say?" "Brother, we need to run!" Running back, Al grabbed Ed by the back of the shirt and began sprinting back down the road while Ed yelled loudly.
"Come and say that to my face, you over grown zombie!" "Brother, if you had been any taller, he would have caught you!" "But he called me short!" "Less yelling, more running for our lives!" Suddenly, Envy landed in front of them. "Well, if it isn't-" The poor creature had no time to finish her sentance before Al barraled into her, flinging her over his head as he ran on. As she was falling, Envy sighed. "Why me?" She landed, luckily, in an old basketball net. "Great. Just my luck. This has GOT to be a Monday. I just know it." Meanwhile, Al had released Ed and the pair were running for their lives once more. A tall building with the State Alchemist symbol painted on the front loomed over them. None of the Homunculi were near it. "Al! Into that building!" Nodding, they both flung themselves into it. They figures that had been chasing them stopped two feet from the building and stared in.
"Brother, they're not following us." "Al..." "Yes?" Turning, the younger brother had a pretty good guess of why the Homunculi weren't following them. Strewn across the floor and walls were the mangled bodies of deceased Homunculi. "Took you long enough to get here, Full Metal!"
Chapter 13: The Horrid Truth
Ed and Al spun around, only to come face to face with a small girl. Her brown hair was in pigtails and her black eyes were frowning at them. "I've been waiting, since, like, forever! Ever since I heard you were looking for the Philosophers Stone, I figured you and your hunk a junk brother would figure out what happened to all the Homunculi who just vanished. A Homunculi's dream is to become a real human! I thought you would get just a little suspicious about where they went when they were looking for the Philosophers stone! Didn't you read the reports?" The look on Ed's face was comical. "What reports?" The same look appeared on the girls face. Followed five seconds after by what could be mistaken as a volcano blowing up.
"What do ya' mean, WHAT REPORTS?!?!?!?! You're a State Alchemist! How could you NOT read the reports?!?!?!?!" "I'm not really allowed to. This is all the state tells me." Striking a pose, Ed put on his best important voice. "'Edward Elric, it is your job to find the Philosophers stone for the good of your country.' 'Edward Elric, haven't you gotten a lead on that stone yet?' 'Edward Elric, it's up to you to go on this high danger mission while we sit on our butts and read books. Good luck, Edward Elric.' Man, it gets so annoying!" The girl giggled some and hopped down from the wall she had been sitting on. "Okay, so maybe I lost my temper. I'm sorry. My name is Koro. And I bet you're lookin' for a bunch of dirty little secrets on the State Alchemists." "Though I wouldn't mind it, I'm not here for them."
Al nodded, finally finding the courage to speak. "Yeah. We're looking for the Human Growth project." "The H.G.W. project? Why are ya' lookin' for that?" "H.G.W.?" "Humanity Gone Wrong. It's what I've nicknamed it." "Then it's sort of like the Homunculi." "Nope. Not at all. Homunculi are false humans with implanted memories or modified personalities. THIS project is takin' a livin' organism and forcefully bindin' it's DNA to another creatures. They did it with animals and plants. The first time they did it with humans, the girl the did it too lost her mind and began attackin' everyone. They froze her and locked her in storage. Then they forced everyone out of the city and killed the people who wouldn't leave. That's why we Homunculi moved here." "What about all these..."
"Yeah, lets move to a different room." The girl led the way into a hallway. "Back in there, those were the Homunculi who got too close to finding the Philosophers stone. Some Brigadier General guy had them brutally executed." "How'd he do it?" "It's a real gruesome process. You have to fuse their molecules with a type of poison and then split apart their atoms." "Ouch." "I've never seen a Homunculi killed, but they dump all the bodies here. Not many people come into this buildin'. The Homunculi are too afraid to. I'm in here 'cause I was created to help around the lab. I just can't leave this place." "So the State has been killing all the Homunculi that got close to the Philosophers stone?" The girl nodded and began to fiddle with a latch on a large door. "Yep. They knew they couldn't control the Homunculi that could get close. And it would be impossible to get the stone from them once they had it. So killin' 'em seemed easiest."
The large steel door Koro had been struggling with swung open and gave way to a deep, dark staircase. Koro lit a torch and began to walk down. "The labs are down here. That's where you'll find what ever's left of the project. I can lead you to the doors, but after that you're on your own. I'll stay in this building, but I won't go in the labs." "Hang on. The girl. Was her name Kit?" "Yeah. Poor thing." "What's wrong?" "Well, when they fused her DNA to that of a felines, she went beserk. She doesn't even know she murdered her own parents."
Jun 2 2005, 12:47 PM
Nice story sis!
Uh...thanks sis. But I think I'll rewrite this story later. It's really stupid. I'll rename it.