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shardypsykoelf
Spinoff from episode 17 (or was it 18?). Anyway, it's the one where Ed returns to Resembool for the first time. Some lines equivelant to the ones in the episode are used, but they are not exact as I have only seen the episode once and I hardly remember it already. ^^;;

=====


Title: Missing
Pairing: Ed/Winry (gee, who would’ve thunk?)
Summery: Take on episode (17?), in which Winry believes Ed doesn’t think she matters to him.
Genre: Songfic, Angst
Rating: PG-13 for a little heavy kissing

***
Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
Maybe someday you’ll look up
And barely conscious, you’ll say to no one
Isn’t something missing?


***

“Don’t be so dramatic,” he had snapped, looking at her tears from the corners of his intense gold eyes as if they almost disgusted him. It only made her cry harder, this time in mourning of a friend she had lost. He was not the same little boy who had left everything behind. He truly believed there was nothing for him here. He truly believed that she, Winry Rockbell, did not matter to him.

What happened? What happened to that little boy who used to share his thoughts and dreams with her? Who would hug her when she cried, or go beat up the boys that dared to tease her?

Now, four years since his absence, when he returned proving that he was not just a fading memory, she had been crying but this time he had made no move to give her comfort, open his mouth in a soft-spoken attempt to soothe her. He had just stood there, clinging to that cursed pocket watch in his palm. She had never thought it would be possible to hate an inanimate object, especially one so beautifully designed, something that had no will, no intelligence, no life…and yet she loathed it. She loathed the shiny silver, the steady ticking away from life, the very thing that was keeping him away from home where he belonged.

***
You won’t cry for my absence, I know
You’ve forgotten me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?


***

He wasn’t in his room.

Haunted by the memories of this afternoon and the knowledge that in the morning he would be gone again, she had gone to his and Al’s room in hopes of speaking to him again. However the only two figures occupying the guest room was the hulking steel armor of Al (how did a soul sleep anyway?), and the snoring bulking frame of Major Armstrong that seemed bigger than the bed he lay on. Quietly, she moved away from the door, praying that she wouldn’t disturb them. It was going on well into one in the morning and they would need their rest.

Tiptoeing about the rest of house, she realized that he wasn’t inside, period. Strange. Then again, Edward was always the strange one. He was always reckless, and head-strong, and never seemed to learn his lesson. Not only did he break his automail arm off, he had the entire thing blown to pieces! You’d think he’d learn to take better care of his limbs, considering how he ended up getting an arm of automail in the first place.

“Soon, my arm will be back to good ol’ flesh and blood,” she recalled him boasting.

For some reason that statement caused a steady blush to rise in her face.

She pushed the screen door and found Den standing a short distance from the porch, looking outward as if expecting somebody to return. She leaned down to scratch his ears, and while his tail wagged at the caress, he whined softly. Apparently he had been given a command to stay where he was.

“Come on, Den. Let’s go find Ed,” she said and Den trotted off with her behind him, following Ed’s scent through the landscape of onion grass and tall, deceptively beautiful weeds; away from the road that led to his old house instead of toward it as she had expected. In fact, when they didn’t even go to the graveyard, she felt a little nervous. Obviously, without Den’s help, she probably wouldn’t be able to find Ed no matter how hard she tried.

The prospect was a little unnerving.

Eventually all that was around them was country, as if girl and dog were the only two living beings on the planet. Only the steady symphony of crickets and the glittering green glow of fireflies proved otherwise. Then she realized where Den was taking her. A large hill, so big that one could see all of Resembool and beyond from its height. She, Ed, and Al used to play on this hilltop all the time. She would be the Princess in distress, and the boys took turns playing Knight and Villain…though, as sad as it sounded, she had always thought Ed made a better Villain than Knight. She giggled to herself, remembering when it was Ed’s turn to play the valiant Knight, how he would try to pick her up to “sweep her away” and collapse. Heh. Puny little munchkin. Though no doubt he could pick her up now…

Her blush returned, only heavier.

She no longer needed Den’s help as when she reached the wide hilltop, she found Ed lying in the grass, hands folding behind his head, his human knee raised while the leg of automail stretched out on the ground. He did not look up at her, though she was sure he was well aware of her presence, and she did not say anything. She sat down on the ground beside him, enjoying the soft breeze as it blew gently through her nightgown. Perhaps coming out here at night with barely any clothes on wasn’t the smartest of ideas, but she did not have time to change. And with Den by her side, and now Ed, she could not feel any safer.

She looked up at the stars, immense droplets of milk spilt across a navy blue table cloth. Suddenly, before her sapphire vision, a shooting star flashed across the white ribbon of cosmic diamonds. “Edward!” she gasped, enthralled. “Did you see that?”

Silence.

“Yeah. I saw that.”

His voice was toneless, quiet, but she stared down at him with a beaming expression. “Did you make a wish?”

Another moment of silence.

“I don’t believe in that stuff anymore, Winry. So what the hell’s the point?”

Her smile faded. She wasn’t imagining it. He definitely was different from the Edward who left her. Left without a word. And this Edward, the one whom she thought returned to her from the grave, was a complete stranger. Someone who just came into her shop one day to get his arm and leg replaced. Where was he? Where was her best friend whom she adored more than anything in this world? That was who she was waiting for, not this guy!

“Edward…” she whispered, her voice choking from the threat of tears that demanded release.

He sat up on his hands, blinking at her. “Don’t cry, Winry. I just grew out of it is all. Damn, I didn’t realize you were such a broken water hose. Now you’re making me feel bad.”

“You should feel bad!” she snapped, allowing her tears to flow. “You’re so different from when you left! I feel like I no longer know you!”

He sighed. “Winry, we’ve been through this already. A lot has happened to me. You didn’t really expect me to stay the same over four years, do you?”

She sniffled, staring deep into his eyes, locking topaz with sapphire. “I didn’t expect you to act like you don’t care about me or Granny. I didn’t expect you to treat me like you don’t know me! I didn’t expect you to treat me like I’m nothing to you! Tell me, Ed, and be honest. Was there ever a time, even once, that you thought of me while you were gone?”

He looked away.

“Ed!?”

His silence spoke volumes.

***
Even though I’m the sacrifice
You won’t try for me, not now
Though I’d die to know you love me
I’m all alone
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?


***

The hurt was too much. She threw herself on him, pounding at him with closed fists as enraged sobs tore through her. He did nothing to defend himself; then again she was too overwhelmed with emotion to really inflict any damage upon him. He just sat there as she beat at his chest again and again until she finally collapsed against him in exhaustion. He sat up fully, folding his legs in front of him as he pulled her onto his lap. Her eyes widened when she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders, holding onto her tightly, lying her head under his chin. She could hear his heart beating through his shirt heavily and quickly.

“I’m sorry, Winry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean for you to feel that way. I had no idea how hurt you would be. I was so determined and obsessed to return our bodies to normal, I had forgotten about you.”

She closed her eyes, and a single tear, this one made with sorrow and loss, trailed a lonely journey down her cheek. She inhaled his scent, his warmth. This was the Ed she knew. The one who had always been there, always. Maybe, maybe, that little boy was still there, buried deep within.

***
Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
I know what you do to yourself
Breathe deep and cry out
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?


***

For a moment, he began to gently rock back and forth, as if holding a frightened child. She felt herself relax against the gentle rhythm. “Edward…” she whispered. She didn’t want to say it; the feelings that had been pent up within her since they could remember. But she had to. She had a sickening premonition that if she didn’t, she would regret it.

“What?” he replied, his voice as soft as her own.

She looked up into his eyes, losing herself in pools of blazing gold, before leaning just bit forward, their noses almost touching. “I…I love you…”

As soon as the words left her mouth, her lips found his in a kiss that revealed a thousand different emotions; love, need, longing, heartache, passion, desperation…

She felt his body jerk slightly from surprise…

…then his arms tightening around her, left hand on the back of her head to press her face closer to his. She pulled away to catch her breath, only to be seized by his mouth again, this time he being the one instigating their embrace. This time the kiss was deeper, rougher as their tongues competed for domination. It was only when his left hand dropped to run down her body and she moaned with delicious shivers…

..that he pushed her away, gasping for air, eyes wide. He quite literally shoved her off of him, scooting away from her, body heaving. He stood up, looking down at her, the wind blowing through his long blonde hair, strands unable to be confined by the roughly made ponytail.

“Winry,” he whispered. “Quit giving me a reason to stay.”

***
And if I bleed
I’ll bleed
Knowing you don’t care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I’ll wake without you there
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t something…


***

She had ran from that hill, Den galloping beside her as if to be sure she didn’t trip through her blinded tears and break her neck. She almost wished she would. Then she would be free from the pain, from the rejection.

Her best friend had not return. Merely an illusion of a fading memory she was foolish enough to desperately cling to.

The next morning, she pretended it didn’t effect her. That her encounter with Ed was nothing more than a dream. But when their eyes locked as he stood there with Al and Major Armstrong, she could almost see the reflection of her own tearing emotions. Then it was gone, replaced with a mask of topaz displacement that almost looked authentic.

As she watched the dark symbol upon his crimson coat fade into the distance, she recalled the engraftment in his pocket watch… and she wondered if he would remember last night.

If she would become as important to him as that shiny little ticker of guilt he carried in his pocket.

***
Even though I’m the sacrifice
You won’t try for me, not now
Though I’d die to know you love me
I’m all alone
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?


***


Lyrics: Missing--Evanescence
Xithion
Dam....Thats really good. Sounds like some cut-scenes need to be placed into the anime series. If I ever manage to learn flash. I'm gonna make some of these fanfics!
Ailuro
*crying even more* That was so beautiful.
Chiyo
*lying on floor crying*

Why...why do you make me feel this way?

*cries*



(oh, beautiful work)
darkangelslayer
someone really needs to make more fanfics doing with comedy. this website makes me cry!!

nonetheless, awesome work.
Reluna
That was nice. I think you captured Winry's feelings quite well. I feel so bad for her... *cries*
Yukina_Raven
Arggggh! Give your writing talent! Gimme, gimme, gimme!! XD This story was so awesome! I just loved how, just when you thought there'd be a semi-happy ending... angst attacks you full force. I really felt like crying, too. I could clearly feel Winry's pain. Baka Ed. T_T

Beautifully written, the lyrics fit wonderfully (I love that song, too! I listened to it while reading the fic... made me shiver) and overall it could not have been any better! Thanks for writing such an awesome fic. happy.gif
hidden_death
awesome-ness
Phyco girl
GREAT JOB SHARDY! And also good luck with your other series fanfic. You really are a great writer. Again YOU ROCK!!! biggrin.gif
Womie
That's .. That's beautiful *cries*
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