Okay, okay, I get it! Nobody wants to read my angst. Ya happy? =.=
Let's try humor, then.
This one of mine was quite popular at ff.net. If this fails to get anyone's attention... I give up.
Anywho... crackfics. Yay!
It was obvious after several volumes of family photos and endless gabbing at the expense of work hours to taxpayers expense, that Maes Hughes' visit to the East City HQ had a little more to do with his own personal enthusiasm rather than strong will to get investigations done.
It was inevitable that they needed somehwere to put him, and so Roy gladly offered his own office, with the apprehensive warning of 'Don't touch anything.' And, as Roy left his office to go complete his duties elsewhere in the building, Hughes, having exhausted every military employee several times over with his 'sharing of the love', was left in his best friend's office with nothing to do.
It was unavoidable that he got bored.
He wandered around, staring at the various well-kept and very dull surroundings, and mentally re-arranging the office to have a better feng shui, and more interesting pictures (Ie: pictures of Elysia). And, after he had even run out of that particular entertainment, Roy's telephone was certainly looking tempting. He was Roy's best friend... surely he wouldn't mind if he made a few calls. For work-related purposes, of course. (Boredom was work-related, wasn't it?)
He seated himself on the desk rather than the chair, in a position that was most natural to him while making telephone calls (But one which mostly resembled a giddy teenaged girl bubble-headedly gossiping with her best friend) and lifted the reciever, putting his call through, long distance. As it rang, he grew a devious grin, as his proverbial mischeif wheels began turning.
"Hullo? Rockbells." The voice of the Fullmetal Alchemist came, in a simple drone, accompanied by the background tinkering sounds of screws being placed in automail. It was apparent, Ed was bored too.
"Wazaaaaaaaaaap!" Was all the giddy Lieutenant Colonel said through the reciever.
"Hughes... is that you?" The teenager's voice asked through the tinny line. He was given no answer, but began to somehow inexplicably catch on to the joke, and let out a dark quiet chuckle.
"Wazaaaap," He replied, seeming to enjoy this already. Then again, after sitting through hours of Automail repair, and having Winry far too involved to talk to him much outside of technical jargon, Ed was usually bored enough to be entertained by any given butterfly or dust bunny that passed his way.
"Wazzaaaaap!" Hughes enthusiastically returned, pleased that this was going well. On the other line, Ed laughed, and seemed to move away from the phone a little and spoke muffledly,
"Hey, Winry. ... Wazzaaaaap!" The tinkering sounds stopped briefly, and Winry sounded to confusedly stutter 'Waz... up?' This was followed by Edward's growing laughter, as well as that of the lieutenant colonel who was having a ball.
"Oy! Al!" The sounds of a door creaking and heavy armored steps, "WAZZAAAAAP!"
There must have been some point in time when the Elric brothers had reached this point of desperate boredom, because Alphonse responded in the backround with a quiet knowing giggle,
The Hughes that was a sucker for cuteness melted with giddyness at hearing that, and took a few seconds to regain compusure from his static laughing.
"H-hold on." He choked, punching a few buttons.
The phone slowly rang, with Ed still amusedly waiting on the other line.
"Hello. Fury speaking."
"WAZAAAAAAP!" Ed and Hughes greeted in unison.
"Wazzaap!" Al came in from the background of Ed's end of the line.
"Hunh? Wazz- u-"
"Wazzaaap!" (Winry, at this point having caught on).
"Wazaaa-" (A hopelessly confused, but impressionable Fury).
Into his office came a very disgruntled Mustang, which caused Hughes to emit a scream any opera singer would be envious of, and cram the phone's reciever back down.
"HUGHES!" Mustang boomed in his typical authoritave roar, "Maes, how many times do I have to tell you to stop tying up the military phone line for your stupid games!"
"Awww. But it's fun! You're such a bummer, Roy."
Roy could see he wouldn't be getting any success with chastizing Maes today, so he just sighed and scratched his head, continuing more softly,
"Listen, I have work to do. Why don't you just go off and talk to the mess hall chefs. I don't think you've shown them your pictures of Elysia yet."
The revelation hit Maes like a great discovery manifesting itself in an allegorical lightbulb hovering over his head.
"You're right! I haven't!" He declared, "Thanks for reminding me!" He quickly snatched his albums, and dashed out of the door.
Left in the quiet solitude of his now empty office, roy slowly seated himself in his big comfy chair.
He scanned left, then right, then left again just to make sure nobody was watching.
He picked up the phone and entered on the button pad.
"Hawkeye? ... Wazzaaaaaaaaap!"