Am I really, Tombow
? Well, damn! Don't I feel special! Hahaa! Ok guys, here we go - I got "rain" from Tombow
, "sleep" from Untitled
, and "agony" from Nil-chan
... Keep in mind that everything from here on out was done all at once - no breaks, no nothing! Nothing saved and nothing typed up in a seperate document... It's... 1:15 pm right now (wheee! I had only half a day of school! Haha!), and I'll put down the time when I finish...
This story will be in typical "Roy and Riza's Cracked-Out Adventures" fashion - Roy and Riza just trying to live out a normal, slightly romantic life in the Amestris army, and a perpetually tiny and cracked-out blonde alchemist to continually make it impossible for them! Haha! (kids, don't do drugs! They's bad!)Roy and Riza's Cracked-Out Adventures #13 - 600 Page Special!
Words: Rain, Sleep, Agony
Roy stared out his office window and sighed as he watched the early morning rain pelt the window, trickles of water melting down the glass. He hated the rain... hated it, hated it, hated it... He sighed. He would never be able to get any work done now... rain always made him feel drowsy... and...
"USELESS!!" Edward Elric screamed as he ran down the hall and past Roy's open office door.
Roy stood up with a jerk, hands slamming down on his desk. "EDWARD! GET BACK HERE!" he yelled after his subordinate. But he knew it was no use... whenever Ed was hopped up on illegal substances he didn't listen to anyone...
"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.... BANG!! *clatter~clatter...*"
Roy perked up in surprise. "What the..."
Ed came bolting around the doorway, covered in dust and garbage. He saluted briskly. "YOU CALLED, COLONEL SHIT-HEAD?!" he screamed, eyes dialated and a huge, cracked-out smile on his face.
Roy looked on in surprise - Ed had actually come when he called?! Then he realized what Ed had called him, and seethed, about to errupt at Edward's behavior and belittling comments when he suddenly closed his eyes and slouched down into his seat. He felt oddly tired all of a sudden... why was that...? 'Oh, yeah,' he thought with a groan, 'I haven't slept in three days...'
Edward, his attention span having reached its maximum, threw his arms up in the air, and yelled, "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! PICKLED DAISIES!!!!!!!! WAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" And away he went, running down the hallway screaming, tripping back over the trash can Havoc had just righted.
Havoc's curses carried down the hall, floating into Roy's office. Yet the expletives fell on deaf ears - Roy was out like a light. Three days straight of paperwork and no sleep had left him exhausted, and it would take a train crashing through his window to wake him up. And, since that was unlikely, his office being on the third floor, he slept on.
Lieutenant Hawkeye walked into the room, papers stacked high in her arms, covering her face.
"Colonel?" came her muffled voice, "I have some more papers for you - after this you can go home and..." her voice trailed off as she poked her head around and peered at her commanding officer, sound asleep at his desk, his arms cushioning his head. Riza gently set the papers down and quietly walked up to his sleeping figure. There was total silence save the rain drumming out its staccato rythym on the window. She stood over him and gently, slowly, reached out a hand to touch his soft, warm cheek - but stopped. Feelings gnawed away inside her - feelings of love, guilt, and agony - she wanted so badly to touch his skin, to stroke his raven-black hair... but her duties to the state stopped her - she couldn't do it - wasn't allowed to - and yet... she wanted to so badly...
"So, you wanna get it on with Mustang?" a voice whispered from behind her.
Riza nearly jumped out of her skin. She whirled around, pistol out and safety off.
Edward, dressed in a tan trench coat, sunglasses, and a brown fedora hat. She stared at him with a mixture of indignation, agreement, and good ol' fashioned shock. She had no idea what to make of him... Her mind raced furiously, trying its best to cope with this rather strange and awkward situation. Roy continued to sleep soundly.
After a moment she dumbly nodded - then paused - and shook her head vigorously. "No! No - Yes - No - I mean no! NO!!"
"Suit yourself, then," Edward said with a grin as he turned to leave.
Riza gnawed at her bottom lip - how could she pass this up?! "WAIT!" she called out, reaching a hand towards her cloaked saviour.
Edward turned. "Yes?" he asked, traces of a smile in his voice.
"I... I..." she tried to say it, but it wouldn't come out... She composed herself, firmly resolving herself to this course of action. "How much do you charge?" she asked cooly.
Ed's face broke out into the biggest, most cracked-out grin yet.
Roy slowly opened his eyes, yawning. He slowly sat up in his office chair, stretching as he looked out the still-rain-streaked window. He sighed... It was still
raining... He looked up at the clock - 7:30 pm. It had been raining the whole day... "Oh, NO!!" he gasped as he jumped up from his chair and bolted towards the door. He jerked it open and ran down the hall. As he sprinted towards the break room he ran into his gun-wielding first Lieutenant.
"Riza!" he shouted as he took a step back. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"
Hawkeye gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean, Colonel?"
"I fell asleep," he said nervously, "and I..." he was about to say "didn't finish my paperwork" when a flood of memories and emotions coursed through his body. His face softened.
Riza peered at him, worried. "Colonel? What happened?"
"And I... had the most wonderful dream..." he said, voice misty. He gazed at her with calm eyes - her, the object of his most beautiful dream...
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I'll go finish my paperwork now..." he said, face calm and handsome and his voice deep and sorrowful - he walked back to his office and sat down once again at his desk behind the rain-streaked window. It filled him with a crushing agony that everything that he had envisioned wasn't real, but only been a dream while he was asleep...
Riza Hawkeye continued to slowly walk down the hallway, face flushed and beautiful and just a little sad. It filled her with happiness and joy that everything that had happened was real, and not just some beautiful dream. Yet it did fill her with a furious agony that she had spent all of her money on what turned out to be Niquil...
Edward Elric laughed as he ran through the rain-soaked streets of Central, overjoyed that he now had money he could spend at Central's black market. Yet he couldn't help but feel a little bit of agony in that such a clever scheme could never work again... But then he let out a loud, cracked-out laugh - he'd still be able to make some more money out of this - next time he'd ask Roy
! "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! 600 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ed screamed as he ran off into the rain...
........... End ...............
Yaaay! Haha! So, how did you like it? I know it seems really... "out there...." but that's kind of how these stories evolved... besides, it's all for the laugh - nothing more! Happy 600 pages, everyone!
Looky, I even used size 6 font! Haha!
EDIT: I finished this around 1:55 or so...