Firstly, I would like to say that I'm not much of a grammar person but I'll try my best to not butcher the English language.
Secondly, I have done many short stories but this is my first FMA one. I am not saying that I know everything about writing, I'm just saying that I have experience in it so I want everyone to criticize. I want don't anyone thinking that since this is my first time that you'll go easy on me. Be brutal but not mean. Now let the reading begin.( I understand if your confused in the beginning but read the whole thing and you’ll understand.)

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Ed screamed and pounded the floor with his fists.

“No, not again. Please, I’ve already lost so-”, he stopped in the middle of the sentence and silently sobbed. His military uniform was no longer the ordinary blue but nauseating color of brown, it has been tainted with blood.

“Edward, let’s go. It’s too late.”

Ed looked at the limp body just a few feet away from him. Rage coursed through his veins but it wasn’t enough to make him stop crying.

“Get up. We have to leave, now.”

Edward settled back onto his knees and looked up at the ceiling. He thought by closing his eyes the tears would stop but not only did they not stop, they poured down harder.

He turned his head around toward Roy, “ I’m done, I quit. We did what we had to do.”

Roy walked up to him and dragged him up into standing position, but this only frustrated Ed more.

“I said leave me alone! Are you deaf you idiot?!”

Ed pushed Roy and wanted to punch him but he barely had enough strength to stand. Ed looked at Roy right in the eyes, “You got what you wanted, right?! I mean this was what we came here for! The rebels have been silenced, and there’s no one stopping you from becoming Lieutenant General!! Just a few more ranks and you can go on killing sprees everyday!”

Roy grabbed Ed by his collar, “ You know as well as I do that I didn’t ask for this! I rather stoop to a mere security guard then do th-”

“Just leave, Roy. Please...just leave.”

Roy let go of Ed and took a step backward. He regained his calm and started to walk out the building, but he stopped halfway and said “ We mentioned the consequences Edward. You becoming a State Alchemist that told us you understood those consequences.”

Roy paused for a few seconds trying to find the right words but it was too hard for him.

“The only reason I want to become Fuhrer is so people won’t have to die like they did today, and so people like you don’t suffer the effects.”

Roy waited for a response but when he didn’t get any he left.

Ed was finally left alone with the dead body. He slowly crawled towards it, leaving a small trail of blood behind him. Somehow he finally managed stopped crying but as he got closer the tears were building up again. He fell and rested a few times before reaching the lifeless human. He knelt beside it and stroked its hair, “You never should have got involved. I was supposed to do this alone, but you always thought that I couldn’t handle myself, I guess you were right.”

He lifted the body to his chest and hugged it. His bottom lip quivered and his tears mixed with the blood on the body.

“ If saying ‘I’m sorry’ everyday for the rest of my life brings you back, I would do it. If being with you for every second of every day brings you back, I would do it. If sacrificing all my knowledge of alchemy and everything else but the memories of you brings you back, I would do it. If sacrificing myself brings you back, I would do it.”

Ed took a deep breath and sniffed a few times before continuing.

“ I’ve said I’m sorry too many times in my life and I’ve made up too many excuses. The last and only thing I ask of you— he kissed its forehead and gently placed the body back on the floor— is your forgiveness...Winry.”

thats so awesome......but sad to

Thanks. I appreciate your comment. By the way, I really like your avatar.

Thats so sad, I love it, but so sad. Reading it I hoped it wouldn't be Winry, but something was just telling me...

^^
i know but winry is the only girl that i see ed compatible with and there needs to be some kind of lovey dovey thing going on. it gives it more emotion.

that is so sad butsomething tells me that Ed is going to preform human alchemy when no one is around to bring back Winry just like his mother

Hmm, I worded myself wrong.

I'm glad that you made it a slight Ed/Win fic (this is me after all) it just got to me more that she dies *sniff* see?

^^
im sorry that i made you sad chiyo.
....lollipop?

*takes lollipop*

Thank-you

thanks!

For a moment, i thought the body was Al.. When Ed's failed attempt to revive Al to his original body.

thats what i wanted everybody to think.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I WON'T BELIEVE 'CAUSE IT'S A FANFIC! (takes a big breath) o.k. i'm better now. it was good, but it was really sad too.

thanks for all your comments.
i guess it was good since no one criticized it.

*jumps around in joy*

I'm SO sad WHY!?!?!? Oh well, I'll live. Awesomeness I love your fic! Keep up the good work.

TT TT,
Phyco girl