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Chiyo
Be gentle with me won't you? This is taken from a FMA fic I'm writing. Its what happens after Al runs away and Winry is with Ed...

It was difficult to hold onto him. She knew he was strong he was, but now he was panicking as well. She kept a tight hold as best she could to try and stop him jumping over the edge of the building. After moments more struggle he finally calmed down and fell to his knees.
Winry didn’t know what to say so she remained quiet. She had been stunned by what Al was suggesting, so she couldn’t imagine what it was like for Ed. His trembling figure looked so crushed by the accusations of his brother. She guessed he was trying not to cry. Whether it was because she was there or not she didn’t know, but either way she stood waiting.
She remembered back when they were children a situation very much like this. Only back then it was she that has caused the upset. She couldn’t recall what they had fought about but it had upset him. Much like Al he had run off and sat by himself. She, only a clueless child, had stood behind him waiting for him to turn around. He had turned round. Without a word he had taken hold of her hand and led her home.
But home was not here now and Ed’s only connection to his home and run away from him. The sun began to set on his 16th birthday and he finally shifted. She almost cried out loud when he looked at her. The pain in his eyes was so clear it was like looking at someone who had lost everything. He hung his head and walked toward her. Taking hold of her hand he led her back to his room.


‘We’ll go look for Al in the morning, the nurse won’t let you go tonight,’ Winry told him walking in the room. He was sat upright on the bed looking down at his hands. He made a noise to indicate he had heard her.
She sat down on the chair next to the bed. Night had fallen but he didn’t want the lights on.
‘He’s just confused Ed. It’ll turn out alright in the end. You two have been through everything together. I know…how strong your bond is.’
He made no response. She felt the tears well up again. She was so lost in this world outside of her simple childhood. Not a moment went by when she wasn’t thinking about the two of them. She wanted it all to end; she wanted them back home to her. It was odd, but she had never pictured life without them.
‘Thank-you Winry,’ he finally said; his voice barely a whisper.
She smiled slightly and handed him a drink. He gulped down a mouthful of the cold water and set the glass down. Almost instantly his eyelids began to droop. Settling himself down he fell into a deep sleep.
She felt a slightly guilty and giving him the sleeping tablets without him knowing but he really did need the sleep. The nurse had told her it would be better for him if he didn’t know. Winry didn’t need telling, she knew of his stubbornness all to well.
Right at that moment though he looked vulnerable. Even in sleep his pain showed through. She brushed his hair away from his face and marvelled at how soft it still was. She always used to play with his hair just to see his face pout. Now she looked over him with a new kind of affection.
She snatched her hand away. Her heart was thudding in her chest so hard it was almost painful. She couldn’t be…? No that would be ridiculous. She couldn’t actually be…?
She made a grab for the water and drank the cool liquid down. Her throat constricted every time she looked at him. Suddenly his face grew blurry. Her head slowly made its way down to the bed and she too fell asleep.
In the early hours Ed stirred. His eyes focused on the sleeping figure before him. Winry had shifted into what looked like a very odd angle, and certainly not a comfortable one. He whispered her name a few times but she was out cold.
Throwing back the cover he sat up. Hooking an arm around her waist he encouraged her into the bed. She instantly shifted herself into a far more normal position.
Still drowsy he threw the covers back over the pair of them. His arm almost subconsciously wrapped around her and took hold of her hand. He hadn’t truly felt the warmth of anyone in a long time and he appreciated it. Her smell reminded him of home; back when all was happy and simple. He tried to push the incident with Al to the back of his mind as he buried himself into Winrys back.

Thank-you for reading smile.gif
Yukina_Raven
Ooh! That was super cute! I enjoyed it very much! Thanks for such a wonderful read. happy.gif
ed's secret agent
AWESOME.
Tobu Ishi
Very nice; clear, eloquent, and a believable look into their heads. happy.gif The beginning is a little abrupt--I would suggest leading into it a little more, maybe describing what started the whole thing as part of the story instead of trying to set the scene with an author's note. And the "it couldn't be..." part is a little bit cliche. Not terrible, just a bit. happy.gif But, overall, a very pleasant, readable, and entertaining story, in need of only a touch of polishing up. Well done!
Chiyo
I will take what you say to heart and modify. Like I said, it's taken from a longer story which may explain the abruptness.
I'm not very good a writing emotion in that way. Re-reading it it is slighlty cheesy. Thats what you get for an hours work I suppose.
Thanks again.
hidden_death
wow!thats really good laugh.gif
Chiyo
I gotta say thank-you again. It's helped my confidence alot that you like it. On other boards where I have posted fics I usually only get told whats wrong with them so I stopped doing it for a while.

I love this board. I love you people.
Tobu Ishi
QUOTE(Chiyo @ Feb 9 2005, 08:30 AM)
I gotta say thank-you again. It's helped my confidence alot that you like it. On other boards where I have posted fics I usually only get told whats wrong with them so I stopped doing it for a while.

I love this board. I love you people.
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Where do you usually post? huh.gif
Chiyo
QUOTE(Tobu Ishi @ Feb 10 2005, 05:21 AM)
QUOTE(Chiyo @ Feb 9 2005, 08:30 AM)
I gotta say thank-you again. It's helped my confidence alot that you like it. On other boards where I have posted fics I usually only get told whats wrong with them so I stopped doing it for a while.

I love this board. I love you people.
[snapback]110021[/snapback]



Where do you usually post? huh.gif
[snapback]110535[/snapback]



Oh it isn't any FMA boards. I used to visit Harry Potter and Digimon boards and such. It was either like talking to a University professer or a child.
Hex-Sama
@Chiyo: Another good Edward/Winry fanfiction biggrin.gif . I like your style, you don't use really big words that I need to get the dictionary out to understand what they mean laugh.gif . Simple words and sentences are good because then, everyone can understand. Keep the fanfics coming, buddy smile.gif .
Armykid391
very nice biggrin.gif
Le Monkey
Wow, It just gets better and better..

Thanks allot chiyo..
Any more?
RogueAlchemist
Go little sis! That was an adorable fic.
*Hugs*
Le Monkey
yeah, *Gives Extra big and special Hug*
Chiyo
*hugs back* I'm doing one right now honest.
Any requests for storylines anyone?
Kou the Lightning Alchemist
Nice.... I would hug ya, but i dun know ya lmao.
darkangelslayer
i think its awesome. the grammar needs a little fixing but the rest is awesome. this encourages me 2 write one. biggrin.gif
Chiyo
The grammer...I'm so bad at it. Can anyone point out the problems for me?

I think everyone should write fanfics...they are a great form of expression.
relax
I loved this one!! biggrin.gif
Sonic-Teal
Great story Chiyo I would like to see another oh wait you have like three other ones on the board I have to read. I would hug you but then I am nit a family memeber and I don't like hugging strangers, and then I would have to stab you squarely in the temple, then through the forehead, then the cerabelium. Take this as a compliment tongue.gif
snwbnny
I love reading fanfics that are great. Like this one. -clings- Wonderfull job
Sakura-FOREVER
cute
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