<Moving from FMA Fanworks forum section front to FMA Fanfics sub-forum because on page 2 what's posted is fanfic. 03/07/07 ~Tombow>



So, I have this cute black little hat, right? Looks sort of like a tophat, but it's techinically a bowling hat, so it's rounder. It's from the sixties, but mostly brand new. I got it from my grandpa, because I found it in their attic while helping them clean out, and I was all like 'Omg, this is cute', and so I'll usually wear it to school with a pinstripe jacket or one of those ruffly skirts, or-

-Ahem. Sidetracked.

Anyway, so I took this hat, right? And I wrote down a bunch of random eligible FMA characters. And I put all the names in said hat, mixed them up, and drew random pairings.

This is what I have to go on for fandom inspiration. =.= (And while I have so many original works to attend to. Toby, you procrastinator!)

So, anyway. I intend to try as many of those random pairings as I can, by doing a small fanfiction, or fan art. Anybody think that's a mildly interesting idea? (I did the same thing with Fruits Basket.)

toby-chan, something tells me you could take the most unlikely of pairings and still make it a very entertaining fic. XD i, for one, look forward to what you come up with. ^____^

sund ineresting. come on man let's see what you got to offer

I think it's a great idea. It will be fun to see what you come up with.

Go for it!

Ooh, interesting. May we know about these crackpairings before you go off and write about them? I'm curious and a curious me is an annoying me. XD

Well, I don't want to leave you hanging, so I did one (Much to the chagrin of my sister, who is begging me to get off her computer).

I began with the hardest, least realistic pairing (More or less) that I'd drawn.

This one is Envy/Riza (Sort of).

I intended to have just a short drabble, but couldn't make it short enough so it's this... maxi drabble. I just wrote it in a few minutes, and never even bothered to re-read it, so here; the crappy draft!


Riza Hawkeye was a sturdy, dependable and well reputed soldier; there was no mistake about that. There was never a blush about her name in the ways of sensibility and devotion to her missions, to the point that her peers had even tested to see if she would falter under pressure, or the influence of a good man. When her unblinking demeanor saw right past the very handsome distractions they had tried, it was joked that perhaps she 'didn't swing that way', to which they tried once again- and failed- to test the lieutenant for weakness of an amorous nature.
She had no hesitation when the mission she took on came with the warning "They're homonculus; Creatures who can do supernatural things", and simply clicked the hammer on her gun as if to say "Bring it on."
It was "Envy", that she wound up chasing down an alleyway; a creature of shapeshifting capabilities who had apparently thought it would be easy to scare off the cute blonde gunwoman by assuming a threatening muscular form, but was quite dissappointed in his plan, as he was simply answered with an impeccably aimed pistol shot past the ear. In fact, she had shot at him so many times, and given such a threatening chase, that the typically fearless sin was overcome with a knee shaking, knicker-wetting fear. In his panic, he transformed himself, out of mortified impulse into his first chosen "Cute" form, and pressed against the wall to which he had been cornered.
There was a click, that of a gun shell dropping to the ground, a blush, and what appeared to be a drip of blood marking the normally perfectly passive face of the smart sharpshooter.
"Ah- a-" she attempted to regain function of her jaw, but for the akward split second she couldn't manage control of her vocal chords. The sin looked up in horror at his temporarily paralyzed pursuer, and realized hopefully that he might not die. In the mean time, Riza was flusteredly clapping her free hand over her nose, unable to stop the tiny gush of blood. When she finally regained control of her nervous system, it was only to raise her gun and give a furious five round salute while yelling,
"That wasn't fair!!!"


(Post Script: The moral of this story? Nobody can resist an androgynous prettyboy in a leather miniskirt.)

BOL! that was awesome, Toby! aaahaha!!! "androgynous prettyboy in a leather miniskirt"... classic. *applauds* oh, man, lucky roiroi wasn't around... Envy would have been gutted! aahaha!

Sankyu, Sankyu! I'll work on more.

Two of my friends were over last night, and they came upon the paper slips (In a little pocket organizer that hangs on my bed), and started drawing them for fun. I'd put the Furuba ones and the FMA ones in the same place, so we started drawing lots of random crossover pairings. That was fun. And lots of them even worked!

Riza (FMA)/ Uotani (FB) - Dude, they'd kick expletive together.
Lust/ Hana (That'd just be creepy. Nearly perfect, but creepy)
Roy/ Shigure (Can you just imagine the plots they'd have together?)

Then, since they're both rabid drooling, pitchfork-wielding Buffy fangirls, they insisted upon making a buffy pocket to draw from, so we cut up more processed dead tree carcass from my notebook, and they wrote a bunch of Buffy characters (And Legolas and Frodo just for the heck of it) and began drawing random things.

I'm not totally flurent on Buffy fandom, so I wasn't familiar with all the pairings. However, I do remember drawing a "Spike/Legolas"... XD

Then, we went really nuts, and started drawing from the anime and buffy. We got all sorts of cool crap! Probably the best paring had to be:

Jonathan/Edward. (XD Poor shorties! They'd be so perfect!)

We also got stuff like
Spike/Envy
Fred/Momiji
Giles/Hatsuharu
And a bunch of others I don't remember.
At one point we drew Frodo and Kureno (FB). That was hilarious, because of our LOTR very secret Diaries joke, "Sam will kill him if he tries anything", and the fact that if someone tried to touch Kureno, Akito'd flip out and try to kill him. What a sad forbidden romance. (Tear)

Anyhow, this is what happens when fangirls congregate. Crack pairings.

lol. that was good. I'm happy to see that Riza didn't get paired up with Roy. I would choke her if she did, lol. Keep up the good work.

Thats probably the best cross-show pairing I've ever heard

omigod, Uo and Riza would be great firends! they'd be unstoppable! and roy and shigure... wow...it'd take riza and uo to STOP them.... O_O

Jonathan who?

XD

Jonathan is one of the three nerds from Buffy. (Sorry if I get anything wrong; I'm still a Buffy n00b) But he's rather short, and has low self esteem, so is occasionally prone to say something like, "You guys all hate me because you think I'm a stupid midget."

He also has a magic bone. ("Don't touch my magic bone...")

XD haha o_o;; most of my favorite pairings are crackpairings.. *sweatdropp*

I drew Ed/Russ, so I hafta write one o' those.

I'd been planning one for a while, so here's the ultra crappy one I scrawled out in my notebook during my free time in class.

Not as funny as I'd intended. ;_; ah well.

It couldn't be said that Alphonse Elric did not worry about his brother. So he took particular care to keep an eye out after they'd left Xenotime, and Edward began acting strange. Al supposed it had something to do with the letter from the elder Tringham brother, which Ed insisted had to do with his age, and height difference, but Edward was never good at lying to his little brother. Perhaps Russel had threatened him?
So out of goodwill, the kind hearted metal boy had sneaked to his brother's desk while he was sleeping, and (out of pure concern for his brother) read the letter.
He hadn't finished half the letter, which at first had seemed purely casual, when a line near the end caught his eye. The snippet was "-confess my love for you-" which promptly caused the boy to drop the paper like a hot potato. He nervously scanned the rest of the desk, over the chaos ofpapers adorned with scrawled letters and scribbles. He picked one up: "Dear Russel... (Scratch) Russel (Scratch)... Yo, Tringham! (scratch)" The other papers were laced with akward half sentences like "I... no... feel... too... Oh, bloody-!", and they degenerated into random bouts of profanity, and finally to one sheet onto which was compulsively scrawled "I'm not gay! I'm not gay! I'm not gay!" in abstract randomness.
Alphonse looked over to his brother's sleeping face, which betrayed evidence that he was in the grips of a very bad dream.

Yes, Alphonse Elric was very worried about his brother.

HAHA!! Lol! That was great keep it up!

Ressurecting! ^^

Um... sequel sorta to the Riza/Envy one.

Heeeere's Roy/Envy!

It wasn't too uncommon of an occurance for one of his subordinates or another to come stomping up to his office in a storm of rage that wasn't at all unlike a natural disaster of some sort, however, said subordinate was typically under five feet tall, short-tempered, and most importantly, was not named Riza Hawkeye. This was probably why the typically well masked Colonel Mustang had to at least raise an eyebrow when his second-in-command stormed in the room toting a terrified captive under her arm and with her eyes flaming in an uncharacteristically murderous manner.

"Sir!" She wasted no time in piping up before he could ask what this was all about, "Requesting for you to take responsibility in retention of this captive, Sir!"

He paused a moment, scanning his subordinate and calmly replied, "Is there any particular reason you aren't taking responsibility yourself?"

Hawkeye clenched her teeth in a clear attempt at remaining scathingly within propriety, "Because, Sir, this lieutenant believes she may be unsuited for dealing with said captive in a level headed manner."

Leave it to Hawkeye to be reasonable even when she was in a blind rage.

The thought that perhaps she was overusing the word "Sir" entered his mind, as he waved her off with a "Very well, Lieutenant. Dismissed."

It probably wouldn't be too bad watching over the prisoner that even Hawkeye confessed to being uncapable of handling. Besides... he was bored out of his mind anyhow.

He approached the shivering mass stuck beneath a head of green spikes, and examined it critically. He probably didn't want to know what Hawkeye had done to him to traumatize him so, but however lethal this creature had been before, he was currently terrified witless.

"What's your name?" the Colonel asked.

It entered the Homonculus' brain to spit "Piss off" at the nosy colonel, but the thought that he was affiliated with the blonde sharpshooter whose impecable aim would forever haunt his nightmares forced him to back away, and mutter, "e-envy..." and stand back against a whitewashed wall.

The voice shocked the Colonel for a moment, and he furrowed his brow as he mused out loud,

"You're a man, aren't you?"

Envy had been asked that question dozens of times before, but wasn't quite certain that he'd ever been this... disturbed by it.

Meanwhile, the smug colonel was looking over the sin's features amusedly. He'd always been fond of mini-skirts, and appreciated the use they had in accentuating the female figure, but he'd never thought to consider the effect they could have on a man's body. The muscular shoulders, the slender waist, the leather hugging his thin, almost feminine hips. Why, he could almost consider...

The hungry smirk on Mustang's face as he approached his captive was far more terrifying than any long rendezevous with the barrel on Hawkeye's pistol could be.


Outside of HQ, there was a loud clatter for the second time that day, and a scantily clad and very violated looking sin stumbled panickedly onto the street, running for dear life. As he caught his balance, tripping to gain speed, he paused only to declare to the nearest person,
"You humans... are SICK!" and dashed off again.
The elderly and quite deaf woman simply smiled and waved.
"What a nice young lady," She declared, and moved on.

^Wow, I am laughing SO hard right now! That was GREAT! You really gotta keep writing these things...

Hmm. This is leaning toward all-fanfics. Could anyone maybe move this to the "Fanfics" section? Thanksmuch!

The next one I churned out is my first angst among the RPFAH drabbles. Whee! (They can't all be crack/humor)

Roy/Winry... hard pairing if there ever was one. Curse you, hat!

Here ya go!

"Impropriety"



There are certain instances in life for which society offers no code of ethics. There are times in which those most avid in all social graces are left dumbstruck and utterly defenseless.

It wasn't in Winry's common routine to go strolling in the cemetary in the early morning, however, that day, Pinako had sent her out to find Hohenheim, having had spent the past days in solitary lamentation under the stars, and invite him in for breakfast. It certainly wasn't within Roy's pattern of behavior to wander off without telling others a thing, however there wasn't much to be said about the nature of his wanderings that wouldn't inspire profound akwardness, and uneasy morbidity.

She paused, startled to see that Hohenheim and his tent were both absent, and in his stead, another mourner lingered over the lined tombstones. His eyes were glazed, remorsefully reading the names chiseled on the face of the stones, a bundle of flowers nestled in the crook of his elbow. Her presence broke his reverie.

There truly is no measure of etiquitte that can prepare one for the tension of such an encounter. Though they had both done the best they could at akwardly avoiding direct contact in the house, trying to be as cordial as humanly possible while the colonel was a guest in their home, even the soldier, well versed in all manners of chivalry and propriety, and the chipper blonde who was famous for her brand of unconditional kindness, were rendered speechless at their sudden meeting. In the cemetary. At their graves of all places.

She couldn't just turn around. She couldn't just stand there dumbly. Her legs took up their own conscience and neared the headstones she so often visited before out of an akward sense of sympathy. He had set the flowers down between the two places, and now stood empty handed, only steps away from the girl. Their daughter.

What do do now?

What to say?

'Good morning'?

(That sounded disrespectful.)

'Nice to see you here'?

(What kind of sick person says that in a cemetary?)

'I'm sorry,' didn't even cross his mind to be spoken. Any apology didn't even begin to cover it. The wrong was infinite; the sin so blatant and grotesquely real, and there between them.

He was the one.

He was the monster who'd done it.

There was nothing to be said.

Wordlessly, almost without motion and without warning, he had folded her endearingly into a close, strong embrace. Not forceful. Not desperate. Just something right.

There was no remorseful torrent of tears; no melodramatic stream of apologies; no fireworks, or holy images in the clouds, or sudden wind like a sign that all was alright with the world again, and that forgiveness would follow, but somewhere, somehow, deep within the snug intimacy of their embrace, some tie came undone. Something was released, let go, set free.

He let her go, knowing exactly when it was time, and turned to leave. He walked away, hands in his pockets, no longer a proud soldier, no longer a vicious monster, but a man. Nothing more, and nothing less. He left, knowing this moment would remain between them forever in confidence, the harmless, yet utterly improper act.

But sometimes, impropriety is only right.




(End)



Coming soon: Next upcoming random pairing is possibly Al/Wrath. (It's turning into more of a long one-shot than a drabble.) Envy/Wrath and Edward/Legolas soon to come as well!