Um...as of right now, I'm more afraid of the Princess than of whatever's here...

*looks at the dead pyrefly, then blinks some at the princess* I have no comment on that...

*taps foot angrily* Like I said, what can I do in this bloody darkness, eh?

ok how about this, you setup whatever you're brewing up in the courtyard. i'll scare em to you. i'll send you a message right before you get to you, but if all things go as planned you should hear em coming from a mile away.....

*teleports back into the throne room. whispers silently to self*

hmmm.... let's see what i have left in my Bag of Dirty Tricks

*searches through bag*

*blood begins to boil* I've a mind to storm the castle in search of this hooligan phantom...

If the Princess insists, then should we all go together? I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to separate...

*waves hand dismissively* hoi, hoi, wakatta wa ne... >:] and why would you have thought to look for people on the ceiling, sir? this one believes she is the only one with access to it. *snickers* besides...you could never frighten an excorcist with your little phantasmic displays... this one knows far better than that. but it has been highly entertaining to watch.

and this one is ready to accept any responsibilities you may set upon her shoulders. *playful salute* just make sure you two return safely from your shenanigans. *tosses a basket of persimmons* here, enjoy, and this one will help keep things in some semblance of order until you come back for good.

happy scaring.

*treads quickly to the courtyard*

Oh, no. I should've had my king/vizier/husband transmute me a couple more flamethrowers before he left. Hmm . . .

*looks around the courtyard and sees an old statue that nobody likes, she walks over to the statue and knocks it over*

This should be enough for five more or so. Let's see if I can remember my alchemy.

*pulls out a piece of chalk and draws a large circle around the fallen statue, and a transmutation takes place*

*ventures to storm out of the throne room... a falling spider trap sends the Princess skittering back to the Prince* Spiders!!!!!!

*seconds after the spider attack, water balloons fly from every direction*

Where'd those come from?!?!!

*SPLAT! SWASH! SPLATTER!*

*balloons drench the Princess' gown*

No, oh no... No, there is NO way I'm gonna tolerate a wet dress... I'm going to my room...
*hesistates, then turns to the Prince...*

Would you rather you stayed here, darling? *looks at the pitch black hallway....*

*witnesses the spider incident.*

hmmm.... now thats not one of mine.... so its spiders is it.... let's see

*pulls out his Learn of Art of Illusions in 10 Days Book. skims over it real fast*

man its been long time since i've used this. let's see.... sasquatch.... simpletons...songbirds....spiders...

*concentrates and produces a grand illusion. thousands of ethereal spiders and flaming demons start to spawn from the walls and floors. they proceed to try to "encourage" those within the throne room to run towards the courtyard.*

O____________O suh...suh....SPIDERS??!?!?!?!!?!!?!!

*drops from ceiling, slamming to the floor, and skitters away in a panic*

this one HATES spiders!!!!!!!! kya~~~~~!!!!!

I hear screams. Sounds like the Princess. She does seem to be the only one who screams like that.

*programs remotes into the flamethrowers and places them strategically around the courtyard*

I hope I have enough time. What else am I missing . . . ?

*blinks--points* Uh, Princess...I think wet clothing is the least of our worries...*edges towards the door*

*doesn't wait for the Prince's reply - simply grabs him and runs out through the main hallway, away from the courtyard...* ARE YOU COMING OR NOT LADY MEI!!!?

Wait for me! *runs after Princess and Prince, wherever they're going*

*Looks back to see the flaming demons and spiders suddenly racing towards them*
Crap!
*Bolts out into the rainstorm* I think we have our answer love!

nuts... i'm gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.....

*teleports to a hallway that the princess has to past based on her current path. shapeshifts into a firebreathing hydra. as the princess approaches, he jumps out and proceeds to push them back towards the courtyard.*

*breaks off a nearby branch, places it on top of an alchemic array and proceeds to transmute it into a communication device*

I hope they pick up. I need to make use of this old coupon I obtained from somewhere or other some time . . .

I hope my king is taking his time getting them here. Almost ready though . . .

FLAMING DEMONS?!?!!?!?!! What kind of thrice-cursed castle is this?!?!?!

*shields head from the rainstorm--a lotta good that does...grumbles*

Whoa! What happened to the hallway?!?!?! For Pete's sake, who left a hydra there?!

*backs up* Oh dear...

*hides in a tree in the courtyard, trying to be invisible*

*see tokage and pulls her into view*

You can't hide from me. Just so you won't ruin the attack surprise, please go hold them off for a little bit for me, dear Exorcist?

*squeals as she is pulled from her tree*

*big watery eyes* highness....

T____________T


da...da....datte!!!!! *starts bawling into the queen's arms* this one is AFRAID of spiders!!!!!!!

*sprays the Exorcist with spider repellent*

There you go, dear. Go forth and stall the incoming party.

*teary-blink* are you sure this will work, my queen? *sniffle* this one has traumatic issues with arachnids...

*wobbly salute* but this one will do her duty and... stall the party until...it is...the proper time for them to have the shat scared out of them...?

*shuffles back toward the castle, still a little wary of arthropods*

*running, running, running, and a hole opens up beneath mei with an "Eep!"*

(Sorry, but I really need to go to bed now...~_~ school...blah...)

*doesn't care and looks straight up at the hydra* Look, pal, you better mosey on down, cuz I am going to my ROOM and no huffing or puffing from you's gonna STOP ME, YOU HEAR?! *grabs the Prince and LAdy Mei and bolts past the hydra*

No worries, my Exorcist. The spider repellent is of top quality. It will repel anything with eight legs, such as four men running at you while they're tied together. You should be fine.

*hears a distant sound*

Ohh, that's my order. I should go pick it up.

*as the princess tries to run by the fake hydra grabs the trio and throws them back towards the courtyard. creates illsionary soldiers that are immediately killed horribly by the fake hydra. continues to force the trio towards the courtyard*

man this is taking a long time.... i have to put these guys in a cardio class when i get back....

*an image of the king appears within the courtyard*

quis i'm pushing em towards you now.... exorcist? what are you doing here? no matter run to them and lead them here. when you get to me you'll see a hydra trip, thats your cue. once they get out of sight i'll teleport here...

*image disappears*

*after inspecting her order and feeling satisfied, places everything to where they should be and crouches behind a choice bush with a remote control in hand*

Ahh, perfect place. I can see everything from here.

*rushes into the hallway and throws arms out, splaying herself across the hallway*

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

*blocks the princess and party* you...can't go this way! you can't cut through the courtyard! there's a....horrible...uh... *flails* OH! OH IT'S AWFUL!!! *takes the princess's shoulders and tries to turn her around* there's a...uh...huge... TROLL! IN THE GARDEN! OH! THE HORROR! IT ATE THE BEGONIAS!!!!

*starts pushing them back down the hall*

come! this one will hold off the hydra, and the rest of you, head back to the main hall!!!! you can disperse from there!

*shoots the hydra a look and sends a thought message* sir, this one is not sure how long she can leep them distracted. hurry and set up what you need!

[G'night, Lady Mei!!!]

*rushes into the bedroom and slams the door shut*

Thank God we got here in once piece, sweetheart...

*is distracted by a basket of persimmons. the prince and princess sneak by*

doh!!!!

damn!!! ok fine i'll do this the HARD way then.....

*pulls out pda and issues an emergency alert*

SYSTEM: WARNING!!! CASTLE WALLS HAVE BEEN BREACHED!!! BY THE ORDERS OF THE QUEEN, ALL MILITARY PERSONEL REPORT TO POSTS AT ONCE!!! ALL ROYAL FAMILY MEMBERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE EVACUATION POINT LOCATED IN THE COURTYARD AND WAIT FOR IMMEDIATE EXTRACTION.

heh heh heh.... this better work cause the alternative is just mean....

Excellent.

Now I am curious . . . what's the alternative?

curses! the begonia-eating troll story ALWAYS worked before!

*shrugs and starts to head to--*

wait! what's this one's post?? *looks around frantically* SIR!?

*jumps at hearing the alarm* Why do they have ot make those things so loud?
*looks to the princess and sighs a little* shall we get going then?

*notices the exorcists movement on his pda map. appears before her*

don't worry its just a trick.

*shows pda*

go and explain to the unit commanders that this is just an unannouced drill.

*transmutes a letter stating such complete with royal seal*

here this should make sure they listen to you

*gives the Prince a "look"...*

Sweetheart, I doubt that alarm's for real...

*clears throat* Darling, if you don't mind... I'm juss gonna change my clothes...

*salutes* yessir! should this one attempt to draw out the prince and princess as well? or shall that be left to you?

*takes the letter and dashes off* heh heh, this is fun! XD *calls over shoulder* let this one know anytime you wish to play pranks! this one is happy to lend a hand... or a tail. or whatever. squee! *rushes off to brief the troops*

*a previously placed scroll written by the queen suddenly appears and floats in front of the Princess; it reads:*

"Come now, Angel dear. I expected a little more decency out of you. You may change, but make sure the Prince leaves the room first."

*scroll disappears*

*is exasperated at her mother's note* Mo~m! It's not like I was planning to get undressed in FRONT of him! Besides, if he goes out of my room, he's sure to be ambushed by the spiders! Lesser of two evils, now...!!! He can turn around and cover his eyes... I trust him...

Well if you're going to change, then 'm just going to step out of the room for a second then...
*heads out of the room, still wondering abotu the alarm.*

*checks the pda again*

hmmmm.... i'll give em one more chance before i resort to plan.... what am i up to now... D? E? whatever....

*enters another alert*

SYSTEM: WARNING!!! INVADERS HAVE REACHED THE ALCHEMAL CORE!!! SELFDESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! ALL MILITARY PERSONEL ARE TO EVACUATE VIA THE TUNNELS IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE ROYAL AIRSHIP WILL ARRIVE IN 3 MINUTES, ALL ROYAL FAMILY MEMBERS ARE TO MEET THE AIRSHIP IN THE COURTYARD!!!

*sets off the shielded fire alarm within the princess's room.*

now there's no way anyone would be dumb enough to voluntarily stay in a room with a continuous high pitched screech like that.

*screeches to a halt as she approaches the hallway* suh...spiders... *takes deep breath, closes eyes, and sprints through them, shrieking the whole way*

THIS


ONE



HATES


SPIDE~~~~RS!!!!!!!!! waaaaahhhh!!!!!! >o<

*covers her ears due to the sound of the alarm/siren*

My, my, my . . . whatever deceptive tactics being put to use, I hope this sound fades soon.

*walks around a bit to do last-minute checks*

*grabs the Prince from touching the door*

Don't EVEN try it... The moment you open the door, you've let loose Pandora's Box!!!

*stuff the Prince into her closet*

Stay there till I've finished dressing, sweetheart... lest my parents think I'm up to some thing unchaste...

*ish stuffed into the closet, his ears begining to hurt form the new alarm*
mrphh mrphphrph mrrprphhr mrpprhrr *muffled do to begin shoved into a bunch of clothes*

*teleports next to the queen. transmutes a set of headphone/earplugs. pulls out his comm headset*

here put the earplugs in. don't worry you can still hear me with those... i hope they bite this time... else i'm gonna have to go as me and trick them here personally....

*puts on earplugs* Thank you.

They should take the bait. They would have to be crazy to want to listen to that alarm for any longer than necessary.