*feels tired*

*begins to walk toward the exit*

*freezes time for a second*

*pulls everyones pants down and runs the hell outa there*

"NIGHT!!!!" *You all hear as your unfrozen*

... I'm not even going to respond to that. Oh no, actions are much more fun. Prepare yourself for tomorrow.

Suddenly I'm scared at what evil schemes Ailuro is plotting....

*shrek 2 scene passes my mind* Pinokio:( i know i butchered that one) I don't wear female underwear!

Gingy: IT'S A THONG!!!

*laughs, then gasps in pain...* My head, ooh, my head... >_<

*enters and looks around, notes that everyone is either bored, tired, headache-y, or imagining gingerbread men running around in thongs*

Oh, look. There goes that man running in his...well, out of his pants. That's new.

*after a while the crowd starts to talk amongst itself again...*

HEY!!! shut up please....

so what exactly is wrong?

*starts to walk down towards the crowd*

Random Peasant #1: there was a de...

*snaps his fingers and takes away that guys voices*

Shhh....

*looks to the innkeeper*

so what happened?

Innkeeper: They found 20 dead bandits in the woods.... and the door or whats left of it...

*looks over to the big hole in the wall*

[mental note: alcohol + alchemy = bad]

well i can fix that.....

*walks over and transmutes a new wall/door. the door itself is intricately carved with designs, random latino gangsigns and whatnot. transmutes a long 40 foot baquet table in the lobby, complete with food and drink. sits down at the head of the table*

well how about this... look you guys didn't like the bandits did you? they probably beat you up or killed your family and friends.... they were bad guys.... so if someone off them that not so bad is it?

*the crowd looks at each other and kinda agree*

so why dont we all sit down to a nice brunch and forget about all that bad stuff.....?
i'll even give Eager McTalksOutofTurn here his voice back

*snaps his fingers again gives the guy his voice back*

*The night before*
ah, here they are, ill just open up the.... BOOM, owww,

*Is Knocked uncosious from the blast*

*Next morning*
Wha..What happened?
*to croud of pple surround me*
Croud: We herd an exsposion and came down in the morning to find you here under this rubble, can you feel your legs?
me: huh? *Looks at leggs to see that only on is left, the outher one is half way accros the room on the wall* AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!

What happened to my leg? Who healed it?
Croud: um, we dont know, this is how we found you.
oh, who ever healed me will get a huge reward if they come to my inn later today and prove that they are my savior. *after this exausting talk, i am taken up to my room andfalls into a deep sleep*

Croud: we shall call the authorities and get the peritrator hung to death!!
*they all leave after repairing the door*

*has been shut up in her room for hours. You hear unusual noises that sound strangely similar to alchemic reactions*

*senses that someone has found his alchemy tomes.*

uh-oh, i just hope they don't cause a cascade or anything like that....

[mental note: encrypt tomes from now on..]

*looks warily at the colored lights seeping through Ailuro's room...* Hey, so long as she don't do her in my room, it's fine by me...

*Suddenly, you hear a huge explosion from the room, then smoke starts to billow out through the cracks. The door swings open and..* oO; *cough* Oops.. *appears with face all black from the explosion* I guess I added a bit too much Carbon.. Or maybe it was the Niter? I'll have to check the notes again.. *wanders back into room*

*rushes over to her sister with a damp towel*... Maybe you should eat luch before you burn the castle down, eh, sis?

*takes towel from nee-san and begins wiping face* Heh, maybe I should. ^^ That'll give me time to think up a new experiement! =D

* de@d-pan look... hurries to the kitchen to speak to the Royal Chef*... Put some sleeping potion in her soup, so she won't make any more messes!

EDIT-

I apologize for the '@'... the PC won't register the real thing...

*leans over sideways to look into the kitchen* o.o So nee-san, what are we having for lunch?

*feels bad about having to trick her sister...* Sis, can you tone down your experiments a bit, please?

And, oh, we're having calzone...

*stares wide-eyed up(or down) at her sister* But, but, nee-san! I love doing my experiments! Ever sice I found those alchemy books I've been having a great time! But.. I guess I could limit it to one experiment a day. *calms down*

*gives puzzled look* Calzone? Isn't that a restaurant? o_o

*pats Ailuro on back* No, no, I encourage your experiments, juss please be careful about those explosions... do you seriously want to think about what Mom and Dad'll say once they get home and the place is scorched?

*shakes head* No, sweetie, calzone is Italian food... it's good!

Alright! Italian food! ^^ Are we going to be eating in the dining room? *slowly inches toward the dining room*

*frowns* Oh, good grief! I'm not gonna poison you no more... yeah, we can eat in the dining room, if it makes you happy...

O_O Poison?! You were gonna poison me?! With what? Can I use it in my next experiment? >>

*meanwhile back at the inn.... all of the crowd is sitting down and having a merry time at the impromptu brunch.*

hey guys keep it down.....have a good time but a quiet good time.....

*starts doing parlor tricks with alchemy to impress/intimidate the locals*

so where exactly am i? and what the hell was with the curfew thing last night?

Innkeeper: umm.... we are in the lands of Mojo the Persimmon King...

wait did you say persimmons?! [insert a kenshin oro here for dramatic effect]

Innkeeper: yes, he is a horrible man that has draconian laws. but nobody says anything cause we as a nation are the leading persimmon exporter in the world. so everyone makes money... he lives in a castle on top of giant moutain about 120 miles from here. its covered in persimmon trees that bear fruit all year long.

*makes a stop gesture with his hand*

all year long you say?

Innkeeper: yes all year long. some say he even has mystical persimmons that grant power in his private grounds.

wait... mystical persimmons??? ok... so you guys don't like this guy? and he mean? does he torture and beat his own people?

Innkeeper: i once saw him make man eat 20 pounds of persimmons in five minutes. when man couldn't he pulled out a big caveman club and beat him to death with it.

ummm..... wow. so where is the local representive/authority figure?

Innkeeper: there is none here but the a small military contingent of ape warriors..

ape warrios??! where? but so it wouldnt be so bad if the Mojo went down for the count would it... i mean maybe someone would come along and replace him, but this new guy would be nicer... you think that would be ok?

*Crowd just talks amongst itself for a while*

Innkeeper: oh sir the ape warriors are in a big tree mansion in the middle of town. i think last count was about a hundred....

ok... wait here....

*gets up and runs upstairs into the room. wakes up the queen*

hey quis... i know its the honeymoon and all but can i take over a foreign country??? please.......

*explains everything to her, hoping to persuade her at the same time.....*

You're so adorable when you're all enthusiastic about foreign conquest. *pats him on the head* Of course you may!

sweeet.... there is so gonna be a new persimmon king in town...

*transmutes a cell phone. calls the roboninjas.*

pack up and bring the airship into the town square, cloaked. theres supposed to be some monkeys in a giant tree or something.... be there in ten minutes.

*hangs up and destroys the cell phone. turns to the queen*

wish me luck...

*runs out of the building in a hooded cloak. gets down to the town square and ducks into a empty all. transmutes a wall the hide the alley. unsheathes his katana and takes a look at the arrays on it.*

hmmm.... lets see if this works....

*transmutes a new but similar array. waits a little bit and tranmutes another cell phone.*

ok you guys here..... good.... ok heres the plan.... i need you to drop four of you at my position. the rest of you guys will be using the on board laser cannons and laser rifles to burn a giant array into the ground.

*uploads a picture of an array from the cell phone to the airship. at the same time four roboninjas just appear next to him*

you in position? .......ok good... when i blow up the wall you guys start with the lasers...

*hangs up and destroys the cell phone. turns to the roboninjas*

ok two of you are to make sure the peasants don't get harmed. but you two are with me, anything thats even remotely ape warrior-like or whatever... kill... wait you know what capture i want to do some research on these ape warriors....

*Roboninjas all give the Super Secret Roboninja Thumbs Up of Understanding. walks over and puts one hand up in a stop manner. a giant energy beam destroys the wall and the abandoned building across the square. the roboninjas in the airship start burning the array into the ground. all of the ape warriors not in the tree start to gather in the square. turns to one of the ninjas with him*

how many ape are inside the tree?

Roboninja: 73

ok heres the plan, we rush into the tree from the main enterance. make sure to kill or capture anything ape warrior-ish along the way. we need it make it to the of it. go!

*two ninjas start rounding up the peasants and moving them away. moves with blinding speed towards a group of apes. stops about 30 feet short of them and draws his katana in a wide arc, it releases a large arc shaped concussion wave that knocks about 12 out. continues on his path to the tree's enterance, letting the roboninjas do the rest. enters the tree and as he is almost to his final destination, out pop 18 ape warriors. *

who wants a banana....???

*eneraged the apes swarm him. gracefully slashes through all of them as if he were merely practicing a kata...*

grrrr.... now i want a banana....

*transmutes a banana. changes mind and turns it into a persimmon. as he munches on the fruit, he takes a peek out a window and see that his array has been burnt. transmutes a cell phone once more*

ok guys disembark except for essential operating crew members. capture all ape warriors and establish a fortifide base in one of the abandoned buildings in town. i want it ready for me to setup a lab in 15 mins...

*destroys phone. puts hands to ground transmutes another giant array thats all over the inside and the outside of the entire tree fortress. both the arrays begin to glow with a red light... CLAP! there is a bright red flash that can be seen for miles. looks down at his necklace, the philosopher's stone has become brighter and denser.*

well thats new... hmmm.... i'll have to look into this further later.

[note to self: ape warriors = philosopher stone fuel]

*looks around and changes the arrays that envelopes the tree. the decor quickly changes to that exactly like the decor of the castle, complete with all the royal furniture and everything. runs back to the room at the inn.*

guess what... i just establish a royal restort/embassy.

*wanders around the castle, wondering at the strange desolation of the place at this time of night/day, depending where the occupants are located*

Hmm.

*enters throne room, finds the drawbridge that Princess Bling had made, and exits the castle. Remembers something, goes back into the castle to get a pen and a sheet of paper, scribbles something, and tapes it on a wall.

Note reads: If anyone needs me, I've gone to meditate in the Cave of Deep Thoughts and Ponderings.

*leaves castle for CODTAP*

(Wow, sounds like you had a lot of fun, Hito. xD)

(well we finally had to have something happen on this trip... or else either nothing will happen or we'll never come back.... here....this should keep you guys enterained for a bit maybe.... )

*the wall in front of the ambassador starts to glow and a door appears there. the only problem is there is no door handle of any kind on this side.*

Haha, yes. Let's take another week off now that we have, er, all these no-longer-foreign affairs to deal with.

o_o *is surprised by the sudden appearance of a door, is even more intrigued that there is no handle* Oh well, guess I'll have to make one! >:3 *draws array in place where a handle would be, picks up a rock, and transmute the door a handle from the rock* Woo~ *opens it and finds it just leads outside* -.-;

*right as she is about to step towards the door it regnerates. but she also notices that the outside that is shown is not the outside of the castle.......*

*Stares in awe at the huge glowy lighty bits in axe*

Wow, make dhure i sont piss him off.

*Walks through the other side of the door, looking around.*

*Searches for a bit and then picks up his Ammolite Bracer*

"Phew! I thought I lost it!"

*Then with a sigh of relief sit down in one of the corners of the room.*

*meanwhile back at the inn.... notices that the queen is asleep...*

hmmm...

*walks over, teleports both of them to the master bedroom of the new tree fort/embassy/royal resort thing. the queen is still asleep but now she is in a new bed.*

i better leave a note....

*transmutes a note explaining where she is and a map*

i wonder if i can takeover the whole counry before she wakes up.....

*runs down to the basement of the tree embassy resort(?). transmutes a roboninja factory. sets the machines to make 200 roboninjas. pulls up a chair, grabs a newpaper, and waits..... finally after 45 mins, the roboninjas are all produced.*

oh crap now i have to program them....

*transmutes another cell phone and calls the roboninja base*

hey guys i need you all to come here now...

*hangs up and is just about to destroy the phone when all the roboninjas show up.*

hmmm.... this whole making cell phones thing is annoying....

[insert light bulb here]

hey roboninja what is the frequency you guys communicate to each other with?

Roboninja #1: 141.80

*transmutes the cell phone into a radio mic headset*

ok this is better.... anyways this is what i want you guys to do, upload your main operations software into each of these roboninjas. i want them ready in 15 mins. load them on to the ship, i'll be waiting for you guys there.

*teleports to the airship. starts to check over all the systems. as soon as he is finished the roboninjas show up.*

ok ten of your are to stay in town. of those ten 4 will manufacture and program 10000 more roboninjas and have them build a hidden facility outside of town. the bulk of them will be stored there, however 100 will be positioned in hiding places all over this village as surveilence and defense. another 30 are to guard the tree embassy resort.

*four roboninjas disembark and the ship takes off for the mountain castle of Mojo the Persimmon King.*

Dad, you're not supposed to leave Mom...

*is shoving everything into a giant metal box* Crap... I'm two days late.
Hope they haven't noticed, yet... *puts fingers on edge of box and shrinks it down, then puts it in his left hand, closes his hand and then opens it. the box is gone.*

Alright, time to blow this joint. *jumps on hover-bike and guns it. goes flying out of the now shabby shack, causing it to crumble to pieces* I'll get it later.

[miles from the castle walls]

At this rate I'll get there in an hour. *notices red button on right-hand side*
Stupid me. Forgot the nitros... *presses it and catches up to troops in a few minutes* Glad there are no legal speed limits here... yet.

*returns to the castle from the CODTAP*

Well! Hmm...

*chucks a paper clip at the throne*

*after a sudden but brutal assault upon the castle of Mojo the Persimmon King, the king/vizier finally makes it into the throne room of the persimmon king.... only to find out that the persimmon king is an ape...*

wtf?! more apes?!!! no wonder this place reeks of wet fur and feces... ok monkey boy be a good little ape and impale yourself so i dont have to get monkey blood on my katana?

*mojo grows enraged and throws feces in his direction*

thats not very nice....now i have to do this....

*pulls a handgun out and blows off both of mojos legs at the knees. the other apes in the room rush the king/vizier. CLAP!!! they get turned into chickens. turns to the roboninjas*

clean these chickens up, orginal not any of that extra crispy crap....

*walks over to mojo. kneels and cauterizes the wounds, right before cutting off both of the monkeys arms and doing the same to them. transmutes a giant slab of oak. pulls out 4 railroad spikes. nails mojo to the slab.*

pack him in a box and seal him away somewhere. oh hook him up to some kinda IV so he doesn't starve to death....

i have a queen to get back to. oh, don't forget to...

*the roboninjas hand him a 40 piece bucket of original recipe*

mmmm.... well guys have this place setup like the palace by morning.

*teleports back to the queen*

hey... want some chicken?

*stirs from her slumber upon smelling some chicken*

Ahh, yes, thank you.

So, what did you do while I was asleep? And what is next on the non-existent honeymoon agenda?

What's next is you have to come home!!!

eh, nothin much...took over this town, deposed the persimmon king, built some roboninjas. you know; same old crap, different day.

well i don't know how much more honeymoon time we have left... we have a new country to incorporate now, and quite frankly i don't know if the kids could handle this job by themselves..

plus i think one of them got into my alchemy books, and i'd really like to have a castle to go home to...

but on the plus side apparently there are mystical persimmon groves at the persimmon king's castle. wait... i got rid of mojo, so that makes me.... THE NEW PERSIMMON KING

[mental note: choreograph a "I'm the new Persimmon King Dance" and then dance it]

so yeah there are mystical persimmons somewhere in the new castle but i haven't found them yet, then again i haven't looked for em yet either...

Plenty of time to look for those mystical persimmons. Anyone who dares touch them without your consent is as good as dead anyway.

I hope there wasn't too much damage done in the castle. I am certain that something has happened.

But if the castle is not in top condition by the time we get back, we'll have to give those kids a stern talking to.

Oh for the sake of all things good! Please come home!!!

*turns to the queen with a mischievous look in his eye*

hey.... you wanna play a trick on the kids?

i transmuted a teleport array on one of the doors downstairs. it can take us back to the castle. how about we pop in scare the crap out of them and disappear...only an alchemist of great power or someone that possesses a philosopher's stone can use it, so they can't follow...

*points out the location of the door on the map he left the queen*

Yes! Need you ask?

*looks at map*

I see now . . . *smirks, amused*

((wow, i've been away for a little while and look what happens? i come back to the persimmon king dance?? it's so nice to have friends who are as insane as i am. XD))

*feels an ominous atmosphere around the castle*

What the--?

well then... lets go..

*take the queen by the hand and walks her down to the door. touchs the door. it begins to the turn into pure bluish-white light. the two walk through, appearing to come out of the door that mysteriously appeared the other day. whispers to the queen*

so who should we scare first?

*feels a wierd aura surrounding her... pulls out katana* Who's there!!!?!

*contemplates*

. . . where's the Princess?