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Fullmetal Alchemist Discussion Board > Fullmetal Alchemist Discussions > Fanworks > Fanfics
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Elric
hello! just thought it was a good idea to make skits here! oh ! and try to include yourself in the skit!
(i am bored. thats why i'm tormenting myself to get my butt on the computer and type stuff. sad.gif )


ok. iz up to you now!

(why i'm not doing a skit? kos i'll get carried away...)
biggrin.gif
Ninie
What's a "skit"? Anyway, I don't think it's the right place to do it...
Quistis88
Moving to Spam Central. --->
Zio
QUOTE(Ninie @ Dec 13 2004, 03:24 PM)
What's a "skit"? Anyway, I don't think it's the right place to do it...

Skit. Verb. 1: A jeering or satirical remark: TAUNT. 2a: a satirical or humourous story or sketch. 2b: (1)a brief burlesque or comic sketch included in a dramatic performance. (2): a short serious dramatic piece.

Think of Saturday Night Live and you get the idea.
Ninie
QUOTE(Zio @ Dec 13 2004, 06:26 PM)
QUOTE(Ninie @ Dec 13 2004, 03:24 PM)
What's a "skit"? Anyway, I don't think it's the right place to do it...

Skit. Verb. 1: A jeering or satirical remark: TAUNT. 2a: a satirical or humourous story or sketch. 2b: (1)a brief burlesque or comic sketch included in a dramatic performance. (2): a short serious dramatic piece.

Think of Saturday Night Live and you get the idea.

Ah, thank you! I learn new words every day here ohmy.gif
Udon
(Warning: Slightly mature-ish content ahead. You have been warned)

Ed: "Would you guys mind not arguing over what a skit was and start one already?"

Al: "Umm...Nii-san? I think it's started already?"

Ed: "What! They say the camera's supposed to make you loss 30 lbs or something! The last thing I need is to be even samller than normal!"

(A/N: Not sure what that converts to in kilos happy.gif sorry)

Al: "Um...I don't think it matter, Nii-san...nobody can see us..."

Ed: "Oh, really? Then I can do this and nobody will know!?"

Al: "NII-SAN! Put that back on!"

Ed: "Hey, ladies! Guess what I'm looking at right now!"

Al: "Nii-san! Cut that out!"

Ed: "My feet! Hahahaha!"

Al: "Nii-san...you're being disgraceful..."

Ed: "Aw, come on! It's just us guys here anyway."

Winly: "Oro?"

Al: "Um...Nii-san?"

Ed: "Nani?"

(Al points to Winly)

Ed: *O_O* "Eh...Winly..."

Winly: "Ed?"

Ed: *Puts clothes back on* "What are you doing here!?"

Winly: "...I live here..."

Ed: "How much did you see!?"

Winly: *Shrugs* "Nothing I haven't seen before...but more than those drooling fangirls have seen, that's for sure..."

Ed: "I don't believe this!" *Runs off in embarrasement*

Winly: "Al? Just out of curiosity...what were you two doing?"

Al: "Eh...heheh...Nii-san just wanted to tease the fangirls. Anno...have you really seen Nii-san naked before?"

Winly: "I operated on his body, Al...it was an emergency..."

Al: "...Anno...Winly...?"

Winly: "Eh?"

Al: "...You haven't...seen me before...have you?"

Winly: "Don't worry. You're almost the same size."

*Winly walks away*

Al: "Almost..the same...size?"

***

(A/N: Sorry for the fan service-esque-ness of that skit, got a little carried away. Hope no one was offended [Hope, also, that at least one fangirl was at least a little turned on happy.gif.])
Ailuro
xD That was hilarious! Udon, you're the best!
Elric
too all those people who dunno wat this is for... i was bored like hell when i did this so dont blame me! blame umm... my boredness! mad.gif
Quistis88
WONDERFUL, Udon! laugh.gif
DarkWater Alchemist
Did I hear the word 'camera' over there? I know how to put the 'record' light off... [insert evil grin]

Haha; that was funny Udon laugh.gif
Udon
*Ed Comes walking in with a dejected look*

Ed: "Eh....heheheh...Al asked me to appologize for my rude behavior, so...yeah..."

(Ed tries to skink off, when a large metal foot whacks him back on stage)

Ed: "Aie! Uh...also...just to clarify...Winly never saw me naked before. That was just a ploy."

(Al Whispers something to Ed)

Ed: "Al, I am not saying that!"

(Al whispers something to Ed)

Ed: "I don't care! I'm not saying that in front of all these poeple!"

(Al Whispers)

Ed: "You...you wouldn't..."

Al: "Yes, I would..."

Ed: *Sighs* "Okay...Al actually is bigger than me."

(Al snickers from back stage)

Ed: "Hey, wait a minute! That doesn't make sense! You're a freakin' suit of armor! You dont' even have one!"

Al: *Laughing* "But if i did, I'd be bigger than you, Nii-san!"

Ed: "Grrr...Al, I'm gonna kill you!"

(They chase each other around for a while)

Izumi: *Sighing* "Pathetic."

Winly: "Agreed."

Riza: "Typical boys...arguing over who's bigger..."

All: "When we all know who really is..."

(They all look at Roy)

Roy: "...What?"
Quistis88
Udon, you are SO awesome! laugh.gif It's probably very accurate, too . . .
Ailuro
Udon, you are evil and disturbing, but funny. xD
anime lover girl
more skits,Udon(love them)Yay!~
Udon
Ed: "Ahem..." *Reads from script* "We interupt your regularly sceduled skit reading to bring you this important message: The author needs material; we're running out of ideas. Also, the author would like to let the audience rest assured that Alphonse...is in fact...the best..."

*Glares at Udon*

Ed: "WHO may I ask, WROTE this?"

Udon: "Um..." *Points*

Al: *Raises hands* "Udon! You were supposed to take the blame for me!"

Udon: "Did you see the look on his face!?"

Ed: "Al! You're not getting away with this!"

*They chase each other around*

Roy: "Jeez...this could go on for hours."

Udon: "But I've got a skit to do!"

Roy: "No problem..."

*Snaps fingers*

*Ed and Al fall to the ground, charred*

Udon: "Not as subtle as a skit, but amusing, nonetheless."

Roy: "I try."
anime lover girl
could you do a roy and ed skit<please?
Udon
*Ed and Roy walk onto stage*

Ed: "So...they want us to do a skit together..."

Roy: "Indeed."

Ed: "Wonder what they want us to do."

Roy: "Considering the resquest came from a fangirl...they were probably expecting us to makeout or something."

Ed: *Recoils* "Ugh...I couldn't think of anything more disgusting!"

Roy: "Aw, come on, Ed, you know you want to..."

Ed: "Gah! Get away from me!"

*They chase each other for a while*

Riza: "What are those two clowns doing this time?"

Ross: "Apparently, Roy's trying to kiss Ed."

Riza: "Oh...that must mean that Roy..."

*Roy is instantly at her side*

Roy: "Wrong! I am doing this entirely for the sake of my adoring public! (Most of which happen to be girls, I might add)"

Riza: "Oh, really? No, I think you're just fooling yourself."

Roy: "That's ridiculous!"

Riza: *Blatantly pretending* "I guess that means you can stop pretending to flirt with me, since it was all a farce."

Roy: "Riza no!"

Riza: "It's ok, Roy...you can stop pretend - eep!"

Roy: "Would I do that if I were pretending?"

*Smack*

Riza: "Would I do that if I wanted you to pinch my ass?"

*Riza and Ross walk off*

*Ed, lying exhausted on the ground, glances up at Roy*

Ed: "Hah! You got what you deserved! Tying to kiss me and everything!"

Roy: "Well, I do have one consollation prize..."

Ed: "Oro?"

Winly: "Edward!? Omigosh, you mean to say that...gasp! Oh no, how will I ever explain this to Al and Pinako-basan?"

Ed: "Eh!? Winly!? Were you paying attention at all!? Has the fact that I was disgusted by the idea eluded you entirely!?"

Winly: *Blatantly pretending* "Oh, and I had such dreams of us getting married and having a bunch of kids...but I guess now, it'll never happen!"

Ed: *Blatantly fails to detect her pretense* "Winly! I'm not gay! I'm not..."

Winly: "It's all right, Ed-kun! You can go off and be with your love, I will not try and stop you!"

*Winly walks away*

*Ed stands prone*

Roy: *Lights a ciggarette* "Touch luck. Wanna drink?"

Ed: *Totally depressed* "After that episode? Better made it five. Maybe more."

Roy: "Fine, but I'm only paying for the first one."

Ed: "Whatever..."

*They go off to get smashed*
Quistis88
Haha! laugh.gif I can totally see those two moping over women at a local bar. Good work once again, Udon. biggrin.gif
Udon
Ed: "The author has asked me to convey his desire for more requests. He has also asked me to convey his wishes to AVOID any yaoi content and furthermore-"

Udon: "Ed...That's not what I said."

Ed: "Udon...that near-kiss scene was bad enough as it was! I'm not gonna get down and dirty with another guy, particularly Roy."

Udon: "If it's what the populace wants, you will get down and dirty with another guy, and you will like it."

Ed: "Why you-"

Udon: "Look, I can think of a lot worse guys to be with than Roy. How about if I paired you with Armstrong?"

Ed: "..."

Udon: "Or the Furher?"

Ed: "...Ulp..."

Udon: "Or your brother? You know, some fangirls wanna see some Elricest action-"

Ed: "Alright, alright! Sheesh, enough, I'm getting sick just thinking about it!"

*Udon elbows him*

Ed: *Gritting his teeth* "Err...I mean...I'm getting...aroused...just thinking about it..."

Udon: "That's a good boy."

Ed: *Between his teeth* "I swear, the minute my contract is up, you are so dead."

Udon: *Smiling* "The minute you're contract is up, I'll have acquired a large enough fan base to protect me."

Ed: "Damn you, Udon."

Udon: "Too late." wink.gif
Quistis88
Poor Ed. You're gonna wreck him before the contract is up! I like it. Keep up the wrecking. biggrin.gif
anime lover girl
Oh!`wonderful I loved that was so funny hmmm(thinks really hard)next skit.....I got may be stuped but oh well try first ask questions later"christmas skit sound Udon?
Udon
Al: *Leaping around* "Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!"

*Roy and Ed watch, somewhat bemused*

Roy: "Does he realize how awkward that looks? A suit of armor, leaping about, chanting "Chrismas" over and voer again?"

Ed: "Al just gets into the spirit during this time of year. Is all."

Winly: "Oh, Edward..."

Ed: *Cringing* "Uh-oh..."

Winly: "It's nearly time to open presents!"

Ed: "Crud! If only she'd waited another day..."

Roy: "What? Did you forget her present?"

Ed: "Of...of course not! I know exaclty what I wanted to get her...I just...didn't get the money fast enough..."

Roy: "Fast enough?"

Ed: "It's Thursday, remember? Payday's Friday."

Roy: "How expensive are we talking here?"

Ed: "Um...about 150 dollars."

(A/N: What's the currency in FMA, BTW?)

Roy: *Blanching* "You're planning on giving her..."

Ed: "Yeah, I was...but I guess it's not an option for me now..."

Roy: "..."

Ed: "..."

Roy: "Wel, I guess I have no choice..."

*Roy writes out a check and hands it to Ed*

Roy: "I'll lend you the 150. You can pay me back after the seasons over."

Ed: "Mustang-sama!? Are you serious!?"

(A/N: Sorry, again! What's the suffix for "Lietenant-Colonel?")

Roy: "If it's for Ed to buy Winly a present, I think it's a worthy cause. Besides, it's not like I'm just giving it to you."

Ed: "Thanks you very much!"

*They are about to embrace, before stopping, and exchaning a polite hand-shake*

*Ed runs off*

Roy: "..."

Riza: "Hmm...150 dollars, eh?"

Roy: "..."

Riza: "So, Ed's buying his girlfriend a 150 dollar gift. And what, may I ask, are you getting for yours?"

Roy: *Thinking* That was my last bit of spending money! What am I gonna do!?

***

What is this embrace that Ed and Roy almost shared? Could it lead to anything later on?

Ed: "ABSOLUTELY NOT! GET THOSE THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"

Stay Tuned...
Quistis88
Hee hee, that was so generous of Roy. This skit makes me feel warm and fuzzy, especially the Al part. biggrin.gif
Ailuro
*wonders what the gift is*

>>
Quistis88
Wouldn't it be funny if the gift was an entire box of diet pills, but were actually sedatives in disguise that were made to keep Winry at bay?
Ailuro
Cruel. ph34r.gif
Udon
Sedatives I could understand, but disguised as diet pills? What kinda message do you think our boy Ed wants to send?

Besides, they wouldn't cost $150. At least, I think not... unsure.gif
anime lover girl
cute!~more please!~
darkangelslayer
the gift should b a $150 gift card 2 'auto-mail parts-r-us'!!
anime lover girl
tell us more
Ailuro
A skit involving... *pulls random words out of hat*... o_o
A lifeboat and a crayon...
Udon
Ed: "The author has asked me to relay that he is DIRE NEED OF IDEAS! Geez, poeple, are you not getting the message!!? Give the author some ideas, or stop making requests, you morons!"

Udon: "Um...Ed? I think that was a little too harsh."

Ed: "Hey, you asked me to get the message out, and it's getting out. You've got no room to complain."

Udon: "You know, I could very easily stick Roy into this skit, you know?"

Ed: "Alright, alright, I'm sorry, poeple...jeez!"

Udon: "Eh...heheh...seriously, poeple, needing ideas here! You can't just say "write more," you've got to give me an idea, even if it's a letter to one of the characters. You could even take the role of one of the other characters to do it, but do something."

Ed: "Yeah, that'll convince 'em. Please, oh please, give me ideas Hah!"

Udon: "Well, it's better than you're Gimme ideas or else routine."

Ed: "Oh yeah!?"

*They rabble rouse for the remainder of the skit.*

********

EDIT: Sorry, didn'y see yours there, Ailuro! laugh.gif

Ed: "Why are we in a lifeboat?"

Al: "I don't know, but this is an interesting crayon."

Ed: "Al, would you put the crayon away and help me figure out why we're here?"

Al: "It's 'Prussian Blue.'"

Ed: "That's very interesting. Now, for the love of god, Al, you're driving me crazy."

Roy: *Mysteriously pops out fot he water* "You'll never get anywehre simply by asking "why am I here?" all the time."

Ed: "Roy? Why are you in the water?"

Roy: *Shrugs* "Riza took the last lifeboat."

Ed: "Touch luck. Wanna ride?"

Roy: "Sure."

Al: "Prussian Blue! It's so pretty!"

Roy: "What's with him?"

Ed: "I dunno."

*Silence. Well, except for Al, who for some reason or another is captivated by his newfound crayon.*

Roy: "So, why are we here?"

Ed: "Back to that again, I see."

Roy: "No, I mean, existentially. What's our purpose in life?"

Ed: "To live."

Roy: "One should not make his way cautiously through life only to arrive safely at death."

Ed: "Life is a series of lessons learned long after you really needed them."

Al: "Hee hee! Prussian Blue!"

Roy: "If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."

Ed: "That which doesn't kill you postpones the inevitable."

Al: "Pretty crayon..."

Roy: "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."

Ed: "Hard Work often pays off after time, but procrastination always pays off now."

Roy: "I like that one."

Ed: "Hasn't failed me yet."

Al: "Oh no! It fell in the water!"

Ed: "Well, pick it up. Wax floats, doesn't it?"

Al: "It's drifting away!"

Ed: "Let it go, I'm not getting it."

Al: "You're so mean..."

Roy: "Remember: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black."

Ed: "Back to that again? Ok, um...oh, I got one: You can do anything you set your mind to when you have the vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor."

Roy: "Add in a few water logged alchemists, and you have the modern military."

Ed: "...With a whinning suit of armor as its anchor."

Al: *crying* "My crayon..."

Roy: "How long have we been floating?"

Ed: "About two minutes."

Roy: "Ah. And do we yet have any idea why we're here, or do we need to philosophize a bit more?"

Ed: "I dunno, I was getting bored with that.

Riza: "Hey, guys, need a lift?"

Roy: "Riza? Where'd you come from?"

Riza: "The beach. It's about ten feet in that direction. Oh, and the lifeguard said to return this to you."

*She holds out a long blue object*

Al: "My crayon!"

********

Wow...that was deep. Man, I whipped out some of the big guns on that one. Hope that stirred a few thoughts.

Wow, and not one Roy x Ed moment. Silly me

********

Absence notice:

Udon will be away at a cousin's wedding from Friday till Sunday, but I should be back up Sunday night, if not, Monday afternoon. Sorry, guys, you'll have to live without my skits for a while.

(But I still might do one or two tonight, so post your ideas!)
anime lover girl
have fun udon I got an Idea
Dear roy,
one word you should get the picture"Riza"that is my word you know what i mean
sincerly,
Loveing fan-girl anime lover girl
Ailuro
*coughcough*

Dear Mr. Elric

Do you speak German?

Sincerely,
Ailuro

xD
Udon
(A/N: Whew, I'm getting a creative workout today!)

Ed: "Dear Ailuro,

Ja, ich. Tatsächlich habe ich einen Meister vieler unterschiedlicher Sprachen in meinen Zeiten der Studie erreicht."

(Translation: "Yes, I do. In fact, I have reached a master of many different languages in my times of study.")

Ed: "Um Alchimie zu üben, muß man eine Reichweite auf den vielen unterschiedlichen Aspekten von acedemia haben. Schließlich was Art von Prodigy würde ich sein, wenn ich nicht diese Sachen kannte?"

(Translation: In order to practice alchemy, one must have a grasp on the many varying aspects of acedemia. After all, what kind of prodigy would I be if I did not know these things?)

Izumi: "That's very nice, Ed. Now stop using the Google Power Translator ™ and get back to work!"

Ed: "Traurig."

(Translation: "Sorry")

***

Roy: "Dear ALG,

Ah, yes, Riza...a loyal and faithful underling, who's beauty is matched only by her skill and devotion. She's always there when I need her, and she never lets me down. If you're asking me how I feel about her romantically, the fact is that I hold her dearer to my heart that any living creature on this Earth."

Riza: "Oh, stop that, you're just saying it."

Roy: "Would I lie to you, Riza?"

Riza: "No..."

Roy: "?"

Riza: *Pointing behind her* "But, it would seem, you have lied to them..."

*Roy looks behind Riza to find crazy mod of ex-girlfriends, all of whom having recently been privvy to Roy's former statement.*

Girls: "He's a lying cheating bastard! Kill him!"

Roy: "Gah! Lieutenant! Help!"

Riza: "Sorry, sir. You're on your own this time."
Quistis88
Ho! Roy's playfulness catches up to him!
Udon
Didja check out the edit on my former post? I edited to incormporate Ailuro's post.
Ailuro
Wee~ Thank you. I loved the lifeboat crayon skit. xD

And you're my hero! I hate RoyxEd. o_o
Udon
Oh, really? Good, I was worried that I'd have to do one eventually. but now I can rest easy.

Come and guess my name in the name thread now. I posted a hint there.
Quistis88
I loved the crayon one. ;___;
Udon
Thank you. (God, how many posts is it going to take to rank up to an Alchemist?)
Ailuro
Just five more. wink.gif
Udon
Goody (Notices that you're member 665) Ooooh...close one there.
Ailuro
QUOTE(Udon @ Dec 16 2004, 09:37 PM)
Goody (Notices that you're member 665) Ooooh...close one there.

Haha.. Yes.. o___o;

I'm glad I wasn't number 666. biggrin.gif;;
Quistis88
You ARE an Alchemist, Udon. biggrin.gif
Udon
QUOTE(Quistis88 @ Dec 16 2004, 10:55 PM)
You ARE an Alchemist, Udon.  biggrin.gif

I am now, thanks for noticing! *Hugs* I feel so happy!
Quistis88
YAY! GROUP HUG! *hugs everyone*
Ailuro
I love hugs. tongue.gif
Udon
*Hugs Ailuro*

And thanks for putting up with me in the Bf/Gf thread laugh.gif
Ailuro
*is hugged* happy.gif

There's no reason to thank. You're enjoyable. x3
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