I read this stub on the subway today, and I laughed so hard, people thought I was nuts:
Hey, speaking of bestiality, did you guys happen to catch Alan Colmes' radio show last week? Colmes was talking to incredibly aptly named anti-abortion nutjob Neal Horsley, and the conversation naturally turned to the subject of mule-humping.
?I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like it might feel good,? Horsley confessed, speaking of his misspent youth. ?You had sex with animals?? Colmes asked. "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule,? Horsley replied.
When Colmes suggested that this aberrant, deviant behavior might be aberrant and deviant, Horsley shot back, "Well, that's 'cause you didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia.?
"Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?" Colmes ventured in disbelief.
?It has historically been the case,? Horsley said flatly. ?You people are so far removed from the reality ... Welcome to domestic life on the farm. You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that ... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it. Before I surrendered myself to the Lord Jesus Christ, I was an absolute hedonist. I smoked dope, I did everything that might feel good,? Horsley said, arguing that it didn't really matter, since bestiality is tantamount to masturbation. Seriously.
To hear the audio, go here: http://www.foxnews.com/alancolmesradio/vid...adio&-1&wvx-300