Mar 18 2013, 10:47 PM
Intro:Years ago I joined an RP site for FMA1, I wrote out 2 Ishvalan boys and got really attached to them. I only got to rp them twice though. The first time the person just stopped replying and vanished into thin air. The second time the person got really busy and never got un-busy again.
Then the site sort of died since I was the only truly active person, and I never got to RP my boys again. I got really attached to them though, so I decided to turn their story into a comic.
Thing is, I get stuck on panels really quickly, I think too much on what I want the story to tell which makes it hard for me to focus on where the story is right now. That's why I need someone to make scripts for me, so that I know exactly what to draw. Pages so far:
and a WIPWhat I need YOU for:
- Adding more minor plots to the story
- Adding more characters to the story
- Writing out scripts
- Help think of a title for the comic
So basically I'm looking for a very creative writer who loves to think of plots and stories and write them out, someone who has a big love for the FMA1 story. (Since that's the setting of the story)
More info in the next post:
Mar 18 2013, 10:51 PM
The Characters:Descriptions:The Basics
Name: Isha Lewis
Alias: Those who don't know his name often say "Ishval Boy"
Siblings: Only child
Having a decently trained body he's already showing young muscles at his age, nicely accentuated by his Ishvallen tan. Like most citizens of Ishval he was born with red eyes, even though they are quite round in shape the droopy angles make his eyes appear sad. His hair is brown and short, his pony a bit longer on the sides then above his eyes and the back of head is cut short. For now all the clothing he possesses are brown shorts, a gold sleeveless vest and a long brown cape with cowl ending at his sand-colored sandals, which he carries in his dark-gray backpack unless there's a sandstorm or cold. If he obtains more clothing later on he'll vary in outfit or stick to one he really likes. He's not particularly tall or small and still a growing child.
Isha's got a short temper when it comes to his name, finding nearly all non-Ishvallen people mistake it for a girl's name while it's a multi-sex name in Ishval. On the contrary he's very appreciative when his 'manliness' is recognized, which might be confusing for the one he's opening up to.
He's very determined and willing to go through hell for his goals, yet protective of those close to him. Those who get close to him see a side of him he only reveals to those he feels comfortable with, which is a playful and even 'romantic'(he doesn't realize/unintentionally romantic) side. Even though he acts confident and often is, he sometimes feels insecure and cares about what others think.
He doesn't like arguing about insignificant things, getting angry at those he cares for would be the thing he hates the most.
Ever since Ishval got rebuilt the citizens were more open for Alchemy. However, even though many were at peace there were also still many that weren't. Isha's father wanted everything to change, Alchemy was like a miracle, and miracles existed for the good. He believed those who could perform miracles would be assisting Ishvala, to him it could be nothing more then a terrible lie that Ishvala was against Alchemy. Those who were against Alchemy were of opinion that his wife's death was a punishment of Ishvala, for the birth of the child of an Alchemist. He taught everything he knew to Isha, who grew up without a mother. His father and his alchemy teachings and lessons were all he had. If it's one thing his father taught him was to never believe such nonsense as Ishvala taking away lives for punishment, they didn't believe in a vengeful god.
Though as years passed more people started conspire against him and his 'miracles', and even though there were more Alchemists in Ishval and plenty of civilians at peace with it, Isha's father got murdered by his conspirators. Isha was only 11 when it happened and taken into a small orphanage. If that wasn't all, now that his father was out of the way he started getting bullied. But Isha wasn't one to fright, he fought back, developing better skills each time he got beaten up by the other kids in the orphanage. His father was a good man, always working to help and make Ishval a better place. He was murdered and Isha knew it, but he saw it as a wise lesson. His father's mistake was that he never used his alchemy for destruction or defense. To better his village a strength was needed, that of great destruction, which would be feared by all and thus people would be too scared to commit taboos against alchemy. He would protect this village, for the respected people that were in peace with Ishvala and Alchemy, and to prove those against Alchemy wrong. If they would refuse to accept and respect Alchemy he would force them to.
Even though he had a strong will and spirit, the loss of his father was devastating him. He was the only one he had left, and now he had nobody to love or comfort him. The bullies pulling a nasty prank or beating him up every day was slowly causing him to break apart, but then, unexpected, a stranger offered his friendship to him.
His name was Shayem, a year younger then Isha, and even though Isha had never noticed Shayem before, Shayem knew very well who Isha was. From then on Isha spent every moment of spare time away from the orphanage, outside with Shayem. He shared his thoughts about Alchemy and protecting the village with him, and eventually they became the best of friends. Isha now barely spending his time at the orphanage anymore didn't get bullied as often. The bullies would pull small sneaky tricks during class, and try to chase him in his free time but he was often too quick and sneaky, using alchemy to fool them and get away. There was no way he would allow the bullies to find out about him having a best friend, that would only endanger Shayem. Though he couldn't always get away, and Shayem found out about him being beaten up.
Finding it unbearable to see his friend like that, and knowing of his idealistic dreams Shayem suddenly knew what they had to do. He proposed to Isha to travel to Central City, where everyone was at peace with Alchemy and where stacks and piles of books awaited him to broaden his horizon and help him achieve his goal. Shayem had his own reasons for wanting to leave Ishval as well, on top of that he didn't want to be parted from Isha and wanted to support his dream and help and witness him achieve it. Together they traveled the distance to Central City, which they were able to because of the kindness of the strangers they met along the way and Isha's alchemy.
Having decent fighting skills and knowing the basics of alchemy Isha's striving to find out about the most powerful field to master in. Some think it's fire because of Mustang's achievements, others think it's Metal because of the Elric brothers, but Isha thinks he knows which field would be best to master in. The question is, is it filed or not yet invented? His and Shayem's journey embarks here, in Central City, in the search of a document that might not exist.
More info in the next post:
Mar 18 2013, 10:52 PM
Name: Shayem Logue
Alias: Those who don't know his name often say "Ishval Boy"
Siblings: Two little brothers
Rank: Citizen of Amestris
Shayem has a slender built and a cheeky face. His red Ishvallen eyes have a dreamy yet serious look to them. Like other Ishvallens he has a tan and "white" hair.(like scar) His hair is long and stops halfway his lower back. The pony splits in two halfs on the far left, his left side being so long he sticks it behind his ear, and the right half ending just above his eyebrows at his eyes but becomes longer past the eyes. For now all the clothing he possesses is a brown short-sleeved shirt, a long white pants and a golden cape ending at his brown slippers. If he obtains more clothing later on he'll vary in outfit or stick to one he really likes. Judging from his built he's expected to grow up slender and tall.
Shayem is one to keep most of his feelings and thoughts to himself. That doesn't mean he doesn't show emotion, he just often shows different emotions then those he's actually feeling. Even though he's an angel to his best friend Isha, he's not much of a sweetheart on the inside. He easily submits to vengeful and hateful feelings and finds it hard to stand up for himself. In fact, once he feels intimidated he'll even do whatever is asked of him. Isha is the only one he's dared/allowed to let into his heart, because he has a weak for those who've faced misery.
As a person he's organized and thinks things through thoroughly, unlike Isha who’s the unprepared improvising type. And even though Shayem is often influenced by negative thoughts he would never want to harm a stranger.
Growing up in a strictly religious anti-alchemy family Shayem had to follow three strict rules.
1. Never communicate with an Alchemists, even if their life is at stake.
2. When an alchemists tries to communicate, flee and scream for help.
3. Never talk about Alchemy or Alchemists until you come of age.
Respecting his parents and their rules, not knowing any better Shayem followed these rules without hesitating or doubting them. Being the oldest of his two brothers his parents pressured him to be a role-model, praising him in front of his brothers so that they’d copy his behaviour. Though by the age of 10 his father believed Shayem had come of age, and allowed him to stay up longer to attend ‘the meetings of Ishvala’s judgement’ where father’s companions gathered at their house to talk about Alchemy and how wrong it was. Always having been taught the good ways of his god Ishvala, and never being allowed to talk about Alchemy before in his life Shayem was confused to hear all these negative plotting against the alchemist that lived around the block. All Shayem was told about Alchemists was that they went against Ishvala’s ways, performing demonic magic! ..But the way his father and his companions were plotting caused him to wonder about alchemy for the first time, and without hesitation he secretly went searching for the Alchemist across the block, that supposedly went by the name of Lewis.
After waiting aside his house he saw a man and a boy of his age enter, this was him, Alchemist Lewis. Shayem was shocked, he never knew the Alchemist had a son!! His fathers plotting were to riot him out of town or to death, didn’t they think of Lewis’es son as all? The next meeting he played dumb and asked if the alchemist had kids, and not only did they answer correctly, they claimed that even his son was a practitioner of the forbidden art and therefore deserves what’s coming to his father. Shayem was shocked again, and thought back to the moment where he spied on them entering their house. He felt bad about attending the meetings, something was fishy so he decided to secretly do a little more investigating.
The situation he was in everyone would of felt there was something fishy going on, during the meetings he had access to a lot of information. The fact that his father kept all the previous riots a secret to him and his brothers disturbing him the most, not to mention there was another child a year older then him that had attended 4 riots already but he was just like the others. Shayem started skipping school to spy on Alchemist Lewis, the main target of his father’s riots, and found out that the demonic magic they performed wasn’t demonic at all. Alchemist Lewis helped out people all over town to fix their broken items in exchange of some pennies, cloth or food. Drawing a circle with a symbol inside and the light that shone when it was activated seemed all but demonic, it was a miracle and Shayem was impressed. Alchemist Lewis knew very well a little boy was watching him, but he saw no harm in him and approached him. Shayem was confused, flee and scream it was now or never, but there was no way he could. “I know you’ve been spying on me three times this week, does Alchemy interest you?” the man had kind eyes and a warm smile, Shayem was still in shock and didn’t know what to say. “If you want I would be happy to teach you, I also teach my son so if you-” Shayem interrupted with a small no. Even though he saw Alchemy rather as a miracle then demonic magic, it still frightened him and there were still a lot of scary stories going around like the one stating Lewis’s wife died because she gave birth to the child of an Ishvalllen Alchemist. The conversation ended with Lewis offering his help to Shayem with a goodbye, but it didn’t end there. From that day on Shayem started seeing Lewis more often, to talk about alchemy, his life, his view on Ishvala, his son.
And the more Shayem got to know of the innocence of Alchemy and the Lewis family, the more he started disgusting his own family and their views. He barely showed though, the only thing that showed was his absence at home and school. When his parents confronted him with it he silenced. His parents were extremely upset, not only was he giving a bad example for his little brothers, he was keeping something from them so they grounded him until he’d tell. But he didn’t. He refused to lie because it was against his faith, he refused to tell his family how he felt about his father’s riots and alchemy because he didn’t want to go against his family, so it was the only way. He had been grounded for an entire month until his father let him out a late afternoon, to allow him the honour of attending a riot. His father believed that after the riot Shayem would open up to him about whatever he was keeping from them, after all, they were very strict and Shayem had always been a model child so they never suspected him of associating with an Alchemist. Alchemist Lewis had just helped a customer in the far south of Ishval and was heading home, the planned riot against him that included Shayem headed south, carrying torches and pitchforks. Shayem didn’t carry a thing and was disgusted that his father was carrying a pitchfork. When the riot and alchemist Lewis met Lewis had no choice but to run, until eventually he was closed in. “Leave Ishval!” “Stop disgracing Ishvala” “Ishvala took your wife! Isn’t that enough!” “We don’t need Alchemists, we’ve got Ishvala!” but it didn’t matter what the crowd said, Lewis remained kind and kept offering his help, claiming that as long as the people of Ishval needed his service as an alchemist he would not leave Ishval. The riot got impatient and physically violent, to a point where Shayem couldn’t take it anymore and shielded his body with his own by hugging him tightly. “Stop it!!! You monsters!!” he had done it, for the first time he had stood up for something he believed in himself. For the first time he spoke up for his believes instead of what he was told to believe. He cried “Mister Lewis is my friend! He only does good things! There’s not a single evil thought in his mind like you monsters!! You monsters!!” he shouted, and with a loud scream of his dad he was beaten and pulled off of the alchemist. His father piercing his pitchfork through Lewis’s body blinded by rage for ‘brainwashing’ his son. “NOOOOOOO!!!!” he screamed, but his father kept stabbing, the riot falling apart fleeing home. They were okay with it, but they didn’t want to be blamed during any investigations. In shock of what Shayem’s father had done and adrenaline rushing through his body he ran home to clean his pitchfork, leaving his son behind. Shayem cried and his voice was shaking, he approached and leaned over the alchemist. “M-mister Lewis..? Mister Lewis please.. I’m so sorry.. I’m so sorry..” but all Lewis said was “Take- careof.. Isha…” with his last breath.
Covered in blood Shayem got home that night, and from that day on his parents treated him like vermin. His heart was broken, filled with hate towards his father for being a cold-blooded murderer, loathing his mother for choosing fathers side and treating him like dirt, disgusting his family for carrying such hatred for alchemists. Even though he was filled with darkness on the inside, he kept being a good child, always doing exactly what was asked of him, staying in his room being grounded, but even though he hadn’t changed his behaviour one bit, his parents treated him bad because of what he believed. And the longer it lasted, the more damage it inflicted on his heart and the deeper the darkness grew. He had been scared to fill out Lewis’s last request, always having been a puppet controlled by his family he never got close to someone before, sure he had friends at school but they only met during the breaks and never after school. So it scared him. His close bonds only inflicted pain, Lewis because he was killed, and his family because they had pretended to love him for all these years, but it was all an act. Monsters could never love someone, and that’s why they were treating him like garbage and couldn’t love him for who he was. Or at least, that’s how he felt about it.
After a couple of weeks had passed he finally gathered the courage to approach Isha and offer his friendship. He had sneaked out of his room, sought out the orphanage Isha was staying at, and to his amazement Isha instantly accepted his offer of friendship. Shayem snuck out of his room unnoticed almost every day to meet up with Isha, to talk about their views on alchemy. Isha was like his father in so many ways, always talking about wanting to help the village. He wondered if Isha knew about his father being murdered, but he was always to scared to start about Isha’s father, not only was it painful, Shayem and Lewis time spent together had been kept a secret on both sides, so Isha didn’t even know they knew each other. Isha never bothered to talk about his father either, it was painful and he didn’t want to cry in front of Shayem. Isha even tried to hide he was being beaten up by the kids at the orphanage but Shayem found out. This was it, they could no longer stay there, Shayem’s house was an unhealthy environment to stay, and he couldn’t say Isha’s was any better, on top of that Isha had a dream to fulfil which would be the ultimate excuse for them to leave. And so he proposed to him to leave for Central City. Isha was surprised, as far as he knew Shayem had a loving family, after all Shayem only told the facts and kept all his negative feelings for his family to himself by silencing, never talking about his family being awful to him.
Together they traveled the distance to Central City, which they were able to because of the kindness of the strangers they met along the way and Isha's alchemy.
Mar 18 2013, 10:55 PM
What I have written out:
The start of a Journey
It was early in the morning, still dark out. Isha had sneaked out of the orphanage to meet up with Shayem at their favorite spot, from where they would start their journey through the desert. Isha was the first to arrive. "It should be 4-AM.. he should be here by now" he spoke to himself trying to warm himself with his cape from the cold breeze, but soon noticed a familiar figure approaching from afar.
"Sorry I'm late.."
Shayem apologized and handed over some money "This was all I could take"
Isha took the money, put it in his bag, lifted it over his shoulder and smiled "We'll manage, let's go"
Shayem nodded, he had a slight look of worry in his eyes yet again seemed just as excited to leave as Isha. Traveling past the last few houses they reached the desert. "Are you sure about this?" Isha asked, he knew Shayem still had a family that would be worried sick when they'd find out, but Shayem nodded with a determined face. "Central City here we come" he quickly said putting the first few steps in a hurry, Isha quickly catching up on him laughing a bit and gave a playful pat on Shayem's head. After seemingly endless walking through the desert the sun started rising to bring warmth.
"Can I have some water..?" Shayem asked
"Already? The sun isn't even halfway the sky yet"
Shayem looked disappointed, he had forgotten to drink when he left home and only wanted a sip.
"Alright, sorry, here you go" Isha got a bottle of water out of his bag and handed it to Shayem, he had a weak for anything to feel sorry for.
Their journey continued, the sun rose higher and the boys stuffed their capes in Isha's bag due to the heat. They were lucky to not have faced a sandstorm, in fact, it was extremely hot but they were used to hot weather conditions. As the sun reached the top of the sky both boys allowed their bodies to fall down to rest. Isha laughed softly "Look at us.. going on adventure for the sake of all of those people" he was satisfied. Shayem was pleased too and searched through Isha's bag for food, but there was nothing but their capes and water. "Isha, you didn't pack food" he said upset. "So? If we keep walking we can make it in one or two days.." Isha was relaxed, he never gave things much thought. "And what about the time we sleep? A-and without food we won't have the energy to keep up this pace, we're going to die out here!" Isha sat up and looked at his upset friend as if nothing was the matter. "Do you really think I would let you die?" he got up and helped Shayem up "We better get going again" "But we just stopped!"
Isha walked ahead "No complaining, the desert is just as much our friend as it is our enemy" Shayem caught up to him and tried to meet his eyes "I trust you" though his face showed he had a hard time trying to. They managed to get passed the first day and night just fine, both sleeping half a night while the other kept watch, clinging to each other beneath their capes to shield themselves from the bitter cold. The next morning they were walking, though their spirit wasn't lively anymore at all. Their bodies were tired, their eyes were tired, their feet hurt, and most of all.. "I'm Staaaarviiiiing..."
Isha walked like a zombie but with his arms facing downwards, his stomach growling and acing for food. "Me too but it was your idea not to bring food" Shayem placed his cold hand onto his belly to calm it "Let's just keep walking and hope we don't die.."
The cunning remarks caused Isha to snap out of it. He realized again that Shayem had put everything on the line for him, his family, his life, he trusted him. Isha knew very well he barely prepared for the trip and if they'd die it would be his stupid fault. He was just about to speak up but Shayem beat him to it with an enthusiastic scream "HEY LOOK!! People!!" he said with a smile and started waving to the distance. A group of five travelers were riding horses through the desert, they were grown ups, from the military! Happy to see other living beings after so long Shayem ran towards them, Isha chasing him. When they got closer he noticed their outfits and stopped Shayem "What are you doing! They're from the military!" he whispered, but it was already too late, they were already spotted.
"Hey, are you lost, what are two children doing in the middle of the desert?" Isha immediately got defensive "Oh yeah!! Well what are Military Personnel doing in the middle of the desert!!" The only female in the group laughed at the aggressive comeback and spoke up "Don't get your panties in a bunch kid, we're here because we were ordered to." she then looked at Shayem who had a regretful look on his face, he seemed to be more likely to answer questions "You, boy, what's your name and why are you two out here" Shayem looked her in the eyes "S-sha-" Isha blocked Shayem's mouth with his hand "Non of your business!" "Well, he's really feisty that's for sure.." a man of the group said relaxed and sighed "I'm guessing they ran away from home or something.." he got off his horse to approach "Look kid, I don't care that you two are desert people or whatever you Ishvallens want to call yourselves, it's not safe for two children to travel through the desert by foot.. Why don't you and your friend accept a ride home by horse? I'm sure we can come to a solution for whatever problems you have" Sure the man was only trying to be kind and to do his job, not to mention save their lives, but to Isha all he would do was making their hard traveling work go to waste. Therefore in the meantime that the man was talking he had made a small transmutation-circle in the sand with his foot. "Sure, let me go get something from my bag" but instead of getting something from his back he got through his knees and activated the circle. A giant stone pole made out of pressured sand appeared below Isha and Shayem, boosting them high into the sky. "....!!" the man said slamming his hand against the pole. His colleague approached him "It's not your fault, you don't see child-alchemists often, put aside an Ishvallen child in the middle of the desert. We better move on" "But they're just kids!!! They'll die out here!!" Then the female spoke up "As soon as we'll get to Ishval we'll send reinforcements, let's just go" "Are you insane!? They'll be dead before they're found!! You guys leave without me, I'll stay here and try to reach them" The female started laughing "Good luck, I doubt they'll be coming down to greet you, let's go"
Isha and Shayem were amazed at the view, from here everyone down below were but ants. Shayem looked in amazement and pointed to the distance, "Look! I can see Ishval!! I can't believe we walked all of that!!" Isha who was facing the other side saw but desert ahead and turned around to see Shayem's view. He knew if Shayem would look back he'd find out they had a small chance of survival with their supplies. "Shayem.. I'm sorry" "Hmm? About what? I'm the one that got us into trouble with these guys" he said looking down below and noticed they were leaving "Hey! They're leaving" Isha looked down too to see if it was true "can't be.." and looked down closely all around the pole and noticed they had left one behind. "Nope there's still one here.." it was silent for a while. Shayem had found out about the view on Isha's side and was in shock. Isha turned around having a terrible feeling he had found out "Sha-" but was whacked for his head. "I trusted you Isha!!! Look at that!! How are you planning to cross that distance without food!!!" but Shayem's anger turned to sadness and he sat down to cry in is lap. Isha felt terrible. "I'm sorry.. Shayem, I truly am sorry.." he sat down before him "Please don't cry.. I promised I'd prote-" "How!! Huh!?" Isha frowned and thought.. Suddenly he got an idea and looked down if the man and his horse were still there. "That guy's still down there, let's steal his horse!" Shayem was shocked by the suggestion "Are you crazy! We're not murderers!!!" "Psh, I'm sure he has water, Ishval's just a days walk from here" "But he's just trying to help us!" "Do you want to go back Shayem!? Because that means we've suffered for no reason! Look I am hungry and thirsty too, but this is our only option.. Please.." Shayem looked to the side with a frown "Fine, but I don't like it"
This can be altered and needs to be turned into a script format, so that I know what to draw each panel and what the characters will say.
Mar 18 2013, 11:07 PM
The main plot:
Since I've already released so much information it's hard to tell much about the main plot I have in mind.
If you're interested please contact me through PM and I'll give you my e-mail, then I'll send you a very brief description of the main plot/items that will come to light later on in the manga.
It's epic, you can rest assured!
If you have any questions I'll answer them here, and I'll post some that will probably be asked:
Will canon characters appear?
Very likely, since the setting is after the COS movie, so all canons are still alive and can be stumbled upon. However they will probably serve as side characters.
Why now suddenly continue?
It's true that I made those pages long ago, but I've been overwhelmed with urge to draw comics lately, but my mind isn't very cooperative on what to draw in the panels and where to go with the story.
I realized I need someone to help fill this void in my mind that keeps me from continuing the story.