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Envy's Lady
Okay this whole obsession with a woman's weight really bothers me.

Very often other women will express to me things like "You're so thin! I envy you!" and I'm thinking "Why....why do so many women want to be so thin like me?"

I accept the way I am and have learned to like myself the way I am but that doesn't mean I think other people should try to be a size 0 too. Yes I LIKE my size but that's only because I should be happy with the way I naturally am right? It is natural for very few people though I think and I hate seeing people starve themselves to be that way. I think that in general women who are larger than me are considered more attractive too by men. Most guys like girls with larger breasts than me and a fuller figure. I think a lot of guys tend to assume I'm starved since that's the image portrayed of all skinny women which also bothers me. I've had people come up to me and say things like "What do you eat? One cracker a day?" And that is of course not true but I wonder how many people would believe me if I really told them I just ate 4 slices of pizza and also had some chocolate and that I did not puke it back up after(I hate puking I've only puked once this year due to being sick).

And one time on some forum I used to go to someone took a picture of me and pasted it in with concentration camp victims. I've also had a girl yell at me in the cafeteria when I was putting my back pack on "Careful you might break your skeletal frame!"

I get a lot of backlash and hate for being so thin.

I know people hate being called fat but being called a starving stick isn't exactly nice either.

Also large breasts seem more 'valued' in our society than small ones and mine are small. So other girls who are larger than me, although they want to be as thin as me, they probably don't want my small breasts. Being as thin as me and having large breasts at the same time probably isn't going to happen for hardly anyone. This is why a lot of women are so insecure. Look at the standards we're expected to be like.

I have insecurity issues about my boobs sometimes....and since I was born with a birthmark on my face that caused me a lot of insecurity also. Birthmark is obvious in this picture: http://frigida.homestead.com/files/DTAC4.jpg

I do struggle with feeling beautiful sometimes.

Has anyone else had this problem? Where does this obsession with weight come from?
Chiyo
So, to clarify, what are we debating in this topic?
Envy's Lady
QUOTE (Chiyo @ Dec 28 2010, 05:56 AM) *
So, to clarify, what are we debating in this topic?


Well it's not really a debate I guess but I thought more serious/mature discussions went here too. If you think it doesn't feel free to move or delete it.

Sorry if I somehow offended anyone or anything.
Chiyo
You aren't the first member on this forum to have had this problem.

Let me try and put my thoughts in. My weight, in regards to health, is fine. In terms of this country's average, I am a smaller size than many women.

Do I still wish to be thinner? Yes, I do, because I can't see it from your side of things. If we take our old friend, the media, in to account then my size is still deemed too large to be attractive enough to portray. Fashion dictates we should be thin, so we are told we should get ourselves down to size 0 so we fit in to those skinny jeans etc. Just as you are unfairly criticized for being too slim, others are unfairly criticized for being too large. In a world where slim is deemed a far more attractive quality, only those who have been on the receiving end (as you have) can fully understand being slim isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Now, as for breasts, it depends what you class as "valued". I have a friend with very large breasts (H cup) but she is also fairly slim (UK 10/US 8). People see her and think she is going to be a complete airhead who is obsessed with her appearance and she hates it. Can she do anything about it? Aside from surgery no. She has gone in to modelling, and though accepted in the USA, she's struggled here in the UK because she still deemed too large for the target audience. Having large breasts has been a burden to her so she tried to make something of it and still comes across blocks in the road.

We're a judgemental society. That will never change.
Envy's Lady
QUOTE (Chiyo @ Dec 29 2010, 07:04 AM) *
You aren't the first member on this forum to have had this problem.

Let me try and put my thoughts in. My weight, in regards to health, is fine. In terms of this country's average, I am a smaller size than many women.

Do I still wish to be thinner? Yes, I do, because I can't see it from your side of things. If we take our old friend, the media, in to account then my size is still deemed too large to be attractive enough to portray. Fashion dictates we should be thin, so we are told we should get ourselves down to size 0 so we fit in to those skinny jeans etc. Just as you are unfairly criticized for being too slim, others are unfairly criticized for being too large. In a world where slim is deemed a far more attractive quality, only those who have been on the receiving end (as you have) can fully understand being slim isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Now, as for breasts, it depends what you class as "valued". I have a friend with very large breasts (H cup) but she is also fairly slim (UK 10/US 8). People see her and think she is going to be a complete airhead who is obsessed with her appearance and she hates it. Can she do anything about it? Aside from surgery no. She has gone in to modelling, and though accepted in the USA, she's struggled here in the UK because she still deemed too large for the target audience. Having large breasts has been a burden to her so she tried to make something of it and still comes across blocks in the road.

We're a judgemental society. That will never change.


Yeah that's true. Sometimes having large breasts, although it makes more guys think you are attractive, it also sometimes draws too much attention to them and makes people think you are really vain, etc. It's like the whole 'dumb blonde' thing too. I hate how some people honestly think I'm stupid just because I'm a blonde.

Women's looks are judged way too harshly in our society. I find it really lame and annoying. sad.gif

Anyway, yeah I try to show people that actually being a size 0 will get you .... too....so that people will stop wanting to be a size 0.

No matter WHAT size you are, if you're a woman you're going to get .... for something having to do with the way you look. It just bothers me.
GhyZe
Hmm...
I told you....women are also humans. I don't think they can judge women like that just because of our physical appearance.
And you aren't suppose to hate your body, none of us, humans, are perfect after all.


It also goes to my country, Indonesia, but I'm really grateful 'cause until this day I can be myself and continue living no matter what happens.
ScarMySoul
@ Envy: In my honest opinion, I think your birthmark is nothing to be insecure about. It what makes you who you are. I think its amazing that you have so much confidence, and yes I know you do, it shows a lot in your photos. smile.gif

-------------

Weight and Size:

In America right now, there are studies that show that the majority of the population is "morbidly obese." The Obama administration here, has been trying to get a "healthy living" law passed to where things are controlled and regulated, a lot like how the UK has it, where there's a limit on sugary items and such. (Not saying that's a bad thing to regulate but in all honesty it should be up to the peoples discretion as to what to eat) I myself have been insecure about my weight, especially in high school, mostly for the reason that I had a friend who was a size 7 with huge breasts and such and was always getting boyfriends. Maybe it was a little bit of jealousy on my end. I'm married now and I don't care what I look like. Fat, skinny doesn't matter. I AM though on a diet because I need to get down to a HEALTHY weight, mostly so that my knees and back stop hurting. According to the doctors they said a healthy weight would make me feel a lot better as far as ailments go, and so far I've lost 10 pounds. YAY!

Many people think that sizes from 10 and under are the ideal weight for a woman. That's was society has deemed "attractive." If you look at older pin ups and such, their sizes on average were 14. Marylin Monroe was a size 14 and she was the first Playboy centerfold. I find her to be such an amazing woman. Betty Paige was a size 12. She was the most sought after burlesque dancer and pin up. No matter what size you are, everyone is beautiful. Its about how confident you are as a person in the way you look. smile.gif

Breast Size:

I admit I have large breasts and yes, they draw attention, most of it unwanted lol. That again is another "media" based stereotype on what is attractive. The example with Chiyo's friend, that woman is amazing! She's done so many things to get around having large breasts and she's successful with it. I do applaud her on that. Again I agree with Chiyo, society all over the world is judgmental and its not going to change any time soon.
Envy's Lady
QUOTE (ScarMySoul @ Jan 20 2011, 04:30 PM) *
@ Envy: In my honest opinion, I think your birthmark is nothing to be insecure about. It what makes you who you are. I think its amazing that you have so much confidence, and yes I know you do, it shows a lot in your photos. smile.gif

-------------

Weight and Size:

In America right now, there are studies that show that the majority of the population is "morbidly obese." The Obama administration here, has been trying to get a "healthy living" law passed to where things are controlled and regulated, a lot like how the UK has it, where there's a limit on sugary items and such. (Not saying that's a bad thing to regulate but in all honesty it should be up to the peoples discretion as to what to eat) I myself have been insecure about my weight, especially in high school, mostly for the reason that I had a friend who was a size 7 with huge breasts and such and was always getting boyfriends. Maybe it was a little bit of jealousy on my end. I'm married now and I don't care what I look like. Fat, skinny doesn't matter. I AM though on a diet because I need to get down to a HEALTHY weight, mostly so that my knees and back stop hurting. According to the doctors they said a healthy weight would make me feel a lot better as far as ailments go, and so far I've lost 10 pounds. YAY!

Many people think that sizes from 10 and under are the ideal weight for a woman. That's was society has deemed "attractive." If you look at older pin ups and such, their sizes on average were 14. Marylin Monroe was a size 14 and she was the first Playboy centerfold. I find her to be such an amazing woman. Betty Paige was a size 12. She was the most sought after burlesque dancer and pin up. No matter what size you are, everyone is beautiful. Its about how confident you are as a person in the way you look. smile.gif

Breast Size:

I admit I have large breasts and yes, they draw attention, most of it unwanted lol. That again is another "media" based stereotype on what is attractive. The example with Chiyo's friend, that woman is amazing! She's done so many things to get around having large breasts and she's successful with it. I do applaud her on that. Again I agree with Chiyo, society all over the world is judgmental and its not going to change any time soon.


Thanks...I'm confident in my Envy pics though because I adore Envy and because I've gotten so many compliments on that outfit that I KNOW it's good. But I have gone through a lot of inner struggles with what I look like in general when it comes to the birthmark. I was SO insecure as a teen. It was really bad and even though I'm past the worst of it, it does still linger somewhere inside. I'm pretty good at hiding it sometimes.

Anyway you know I do honestly hate how they size women's clothing though. Why not size it to the actual size of someone's waist? Like why not call them size 25(for 25 inch waist), 26, 27, 29, 40, etc. When they label things as 0 and 2 and 4 and 6, etc I really never am sure what to buy unless I can physically try it on. My skirts consist of mostly 0s but also some 2s and 4s and I also have put on some 0s that were too big for me. I mean it's weird. It makes everything so inconsistent. I really wish they didn't size things that way. If they sized them by actual waist width or something then at least I could know if it's going to fit me or not if I'm ordering online and can't physically try it on. I'll try to ask for the waist width before I order it but it's still annoying.

That's just another bit of a rant I have.

As for healthy eating....well everyone should eat healthy and then whatever weight they are is just whatever they are. People can eat what they want of course but I wouldn't recommend just eating bad stuff. Some people can't afford better food though. The better stuff tends to be more expensive.

I actually just don't really LIKE junk food so I don't eat much of it. I always liked healthier things better in terms of taste, not just because they were better for me. I did eat some chips today but sometimes I go a month or more without eating any. The same with soda. I rarely drink it. When I'm thirsty I actually just enjoy drinking stuff like soy milk or juice more.

Anyway I think people should only go on a diet if they are actually unhealthy(like if your doctor says you need to lose weight or gain it) because some people are naturally larger people and some are naturally thinner and there is nothing wrong with that.

And for the record, although I am fine with my size(and I like it that people have told me I have the perfect body type for Envy) but in general I do think people a bit bigger than me look more attractive and are also more appealing to the majority of men. My sister is bigger than me and is beautiful. She looks like Riza honestly.
Luxuria-Cat
In many cases, you lose both ways, as I've observed. I have no problem with people not being very thin, as long as your weight doesn't give you health problems I'm not going to say you should lose weight. Honestly, curves are nice in my opinion.
And when it comes to anorexia/bulimia, I know how hard it is, and it's not just about "being thin", it's about so much more than the media says it's about...and One of the things that bothers me most is that I hear people saying thin women aren't "real women." (I suppose I'm nonexistent, then? >_>) And I really hate how people can be so judgmental when it comes to people who are not thin, honestly, the word "fat" gets thrown around so much, it's terrible. It's starting to lose meaning.
As for breast size? I could write a /lot/ on that, trust me. I think that people shouldn't feel they have to make them larger or smaller, breast size does not reflect your personality.
sarahbn
I've been really skinny and, now, really fat. I'd like to say I've moved beyond all that body image stuff at my age (pushing 40), but I haven't.

When I was really skinny and flat, I was jealous of the girls with bigger boobs. When they put my braces on, I lost 10 pounds from not being able to eat anything that wasn't liquid, and it disturbed me that everyone thought it was nice for me to lose so much weight when I was already so skinny. I was actually glad when I put on my "freshman 15" pounds because my clothes weren't falling off my body anymore and I finally had curves.

Now that I've had 4 kids, I have... well, the body of a matron. The last one came along before I could lose the weight from #3, and while I did lose weight after #4, it was in an unhealthy way (from lots of stress) and it pushed me into fibromyalgia, which made it too painful for me to exercise. So now I'm in a position where it's very hard to lose weight, and very easy to gain. I'm on the HCG diet now, where you give yourself shots and eat 500 calories a day. I'm losing weight mostly for my health, but I can't deny I also want to look slimmer. The stretch marks and saggy boobs I can deal with, there's no diet that will help those. But it would be nice if I could buy clothes that actually fit. Plus size people have a wide variety of figures, and the clothes are cut to fit most of them, but not mine.

I think the thing that makes it the hardest for me to come to terms with my body is my husband. He tells me I look "sexy" but his actions don't match. Whenever he tells me I'm looking "sexy" I look at him like he's quite clearly insane. That's a problem inside my head, though. But I wish he'd mature to the point where he'd want me because I'm ambitious or smart or any other quality I can still possess at my age and after everything that's happened to me.
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