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Full Version: The Birthday Roast Of Envy's Lil' Miniskirt
Fullmetal Alchemist Discussion Board > General Discussions > Spam Central
Join me in the honor of roasting my dear sweet sugar lips on her birthday. Any funny stories, praises, insults or tributes are hugely welcomed.

Mini, it only seems like yesterday that we started this love thang we got going on, but can you believe it's already been over a year. I wish you the best on your birthday and don't do anything that I wouldn't do, which isn't a whole lot. It's not much of a roast, but I loves you too much.
When I declared you two to be my OTP, nobody knew what OTP meant.

Much Happiness and yaoi in this next awesome chapter of your awesome life.
Carnal Malefactor
36, huh?
Geez, I hope I'm as spry and frisky as she is when I get to be that age. Not many people can claim to be what she is at 36 - single, underemployed, horny, and surrounded by animals that most would call an exterminator on.

What a role model she is for the kiddies on this site. Most of them are thinking about college majors... at their age, Lori was struggling to decide whether she wanted to swallow flaming swords or pound nails into her nasal cavity.

She used to be a professional entertainer. Like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark ... except, you know, without the rack.

She had an act in which she had to handle live scorpions. One time there was a mishap and one of them stung her on the chest. The medic wanted to apply an ointment to bring down the swelling, but instead she asked to be stung again on the opposite side. She thought it could bring her up to a B-cup.

Hey, don't puss out on me now. This ain't my A material!

And how about that hair color, huh? One time Lori chopped off a bunch of her hair and wanted to donate it to that charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. They declined and said they don't make fright wigs.

Everyone knows Lori's a great Cosplayer, but what they don't know is that she's also a pretty talented actress. There's one role that she can't seem to quite nail, though... Acting her age.

Honestly, what kind of woman spends half her days chatting with 16-year-old kids on an anime forum at her age? I mean, besides the ones that have to include the words "I'm required by law to tell you that I'm a convicted sex offender" when they meet new neighbors...

It's pretty amazing. In a few years, she'll be 40. At that point, when she goes to an anime convention and enters in a cosplay contest, she'll be eligible for the lifetime achievement award.

Oh, but I hope she knows I'm kidding. If she doesn't, I fear for my life, because I've insulted a heavily armed woman. Not every day you have to be worried about violent retribution from a self-proclaimed Buddhist, huh?


In all seriousness, Lori, you're a great gal who always seems to have valuable advice to offer. You've helped me many times in a large variety of matters. I greatly appreciate our friendship, and I definitely hope to meet you in person someday. May you live more years than we can count.
Its true, its really is interesting to listen to what you have to say...I suppose its the same with all 100 year olds tongue.gif. But no I do mean that, as Bacon said you have done so much many of us wish we could have.

And yes, I couldn't envy the hair colour more if I tried, but also beneath all the hair is a beautiful face and very emotive looking eyes (in my opinion).

Thanks for not getting sick of all us young 'uns and continue your uniqueness in life. Happy Birthday luvie.
Yes, yes, it's true!! Mini-san has so many experiences previously untold to many of us!!

such as...

The hair color!! One time she dyed her hair flaming red and next morning she forgot all about it and walked to the nearest Kuickmart to get the 6 pack, but she never got to the store because by the time she reached the first corner she was doused by two fire engines!!
Off course she got fuming mad (or shall I say steaming mad because by then she was soaking wet from head to toe) but then she noticed one of the hunky firefighters, and he noticed her in wet T-shirt, and also noticed her beautiful face underneath her dripping red hairs ...
.. well the rest I can't tell you.... you have to use your imagination!! ph34r.gif

Or, about her "animal handling" skills!! I heard the rumor that Steve Irwin and Jack Hanna once trained under her. Yes, all of their outlandish and goofy antics, those were taught by her!! sleep.gif

And, you think she is patient with us young kids.. Wait till you see her in action where she is also a Mod, handling all these rowdy 80 plus old seniors on CYSW (Can you still walk) board!! >.<


... Of course none of this is true!! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif
But if they were, I wouldn't be surprised!! laugh.gif
Mini-san, you are the man woman!!
You belong to a rarest group of people who are the coolest of the cool on this board!!
Thanks for being patient with us!! And, thanks for all your efforts keeping the forums and the Gallery in one piece as a Mod, and as a member!!
Can't tell you how lucky I feel to have you on our board with us!!
Happy Birthday!!!!
Long live Mini-san!! happy.gif

... Gahaha, thanks for reading my feeble attempt to roast Mini-san!! happy.gif
(@edsgirl - Thanks for being the "Roastmaster"!! ^^)
That's my boy. biggrin.gif I knew bits would bring the heat. Now I need to focus on where I'm going to put all those corpses if people don't start wishing my honey a happy birthday.

EDIT: Your very welcome, tommyboy.
Carnal Malefactor
Mini's a truly great lady.

What, Mini's too good for my generic birthday thread, which I created to stop all the annoying individual birthday threads? dry.gif laugh.gif

You're the caring interesting feeling human being to my apathetic pseudo-intellectual boring self.

I think you're the only active member of this forum older than me tongue.gif

Have a stimulating birthday smile.gif
mini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (look, I broke that rule in my sig banner just for yooooou!!!)

You're one of the best people on this board, and I love watching you and Rainy exchange those loving comments to each other. tongue.gif This board would lose so much lustre if you ever left, and you have one of the most interesting lives I've ever heard about. biggrin.gif Perhaps one day we'll be able to frolic talk vis--vis if we ever have that forum reunion.

Have a smashingly-good birthday! And by "smashing", I don't mean "hammered". But hey, it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want. smile.gif
Ice Blizzard
From what i read so far and from little i know, ELM Seems like a real nice girl .... She can do Amazing things with animals that most people would fear, And wow, 36 And cosplaying? Lori seems like a great girl and is up-ening in the ages to become even greater! Have a Wonderful Birthday smile.gif
She's just awesome.

Need I say more?

(Say no, I'm too lazy to type anything else.)
Carnal Malefactor
I don't think y'all understand the concept of a Roast.
QUOTE(Void @ Jan 10 2007, 06:29 PM) [snapback]493146[/snapback]
Mini's a truly great lady.

That is about the most legendary post ever. I laughed so hard.

Also, I don't think this is too much of a roast. Usually, people make fun of the person they are roasting and then proceed to say that they are cool and all that. Void's first post is a great example of how it should be done.
QUOTE(Void @ Jan 10 2007, 07:23 PM) [snapback]493208[/snapback]
I don't think y'all understand the concept of a Roast.

But you already took the good stuff. sad.gif
QUOTE(arche @ Jan 10 2007, 09:22 PM) [snapback]493168[/snapback]
What, Mini's too good for my generic birthday thread, which I created to stop all the annoying individual birthday threads? dry.gif laugh.gif

Woops, sorry arche-san!! unsure.gif

QUOTE(Quistis88 @ Jan 11 2007, 12:15 AM) [snapback]493251[/snapback]
QUOTE(Void @ Jan 10 2007, 07:23 PM) [snapback]493208[/snapback]
I don't think y'all understand the concept of a Roast.

But you already took the good stuff.

I agree!! That one is a great roast!! (It's hard to top that one!!) ^^
QUOTE(Void @ Jan 10 2007, 08:23 PM) [snapback]493208[/snapback]
I don't think y'all understand the concept of a Roast.

I can't say anything like that about mini =((

She is just so awesome^^

There. tongue.gif

Because I fail at roasting.
Envy's lil' miniskirt
*Steps up to the podium holding a half-full champange flute*

Sorry for being a bit late, you know how us old folks are. We're slow but we get there.

First I'd like to thank my Snacky-Cake and Tombow for their great Roast idea.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky, Edsgirl usually uses real flamethrowers to roast people but I guess after that court order she has to leave her toys alone. I know she wouldn't want to risk jail, some 16yo with a excellent grasp of Bakanese might snatch her "wifey" away while she's in the slammer. Here's a woman who has hit on more 16yo's than Micheal Jackson.......wait I think 16 might be too old for him actually but you get where I'm going with this, ok tired joke nevermind. I wasn't the least big suprised that Rainey would marry a young, pretty Japanese guy what other relationship would make her feel like she was starting in her own yaoi manga

Speaking of Tombow, what a great moderator Tombow is. Nobody can slap down a n00b so calmly and gracefully than our Tombow. You know why? Because she's a bot! It's true! n00bs that will make even our dear, sweet Quistis lose it and bust out the red fonts won't even phase our Tombow. Or should I say Tombow 3000, think about it, it makes sense, why else won't she/he tell us what sex he/she is? Interchangable sex organs thats why. Also, have you noticed how none of us mods can make it to a thread before she does. She's putting the Grammar police out of comission, I half expect to come online one day, go to edit somebodys sig only to hear calm voice tell me "I'm sorry Mini I can't let you do that"

Viva le Tombow-bot!

Bacon, dear Bacon. No roast would be complete without you. What other 23yo college graduate living with his parents could be a worldly as you. Bacon loves to call people fat although I guess because he can still reach the keyboard over his girth he doensn't consider himself so. After all, he can still balance only one bag of cheetos on his belly so he's still thinks he's still thin. I kid Bacon you are a very wise man, you give such good advice to the youngsters. I steel fist wrapped in yet more steel, very strong words indeed. Especially from a guy who hasn't seen the outside world since 2004.

Seriously Bacon that was some fine roasting indeed my hats off to you...........but that's all that's coming off for you buddy.

I'll come back later and flame Roast the rest of you. Have to run off right now.

Thanks for the birthday wishes everybody you made my day all the more special and those who didn't stop by will get a surprise next time they try to log in. Suprise! you're banned! laugh.gif

The bar is still open go grab yourself some libations and hit the dance floor! Don't forget to have some birthday cake I have two of them!
Ice Blizzard
My turn for a roast .... smile.gif

One day she might turn out like that mellow.gif

Carnal Malefactor
HARSH, Lori. That hurt me like being hit with a sock full of quarters.
Envy's lil' miniskirt
I'm sorry Bacon I didn't mean to be harsh I kid, I kid!

Maybe I'm not good at this roasting thing either.

At any rate, before the n00bs turn this into an image game thread let's call it a night.

Goodnight Everybody!
Goodness! To think I missed this yesterday. ohmy.gif Luckily for us all, all that flaming hot yaoi Mini reads hasn't damaged her vision on bit, so she can easily spot offensive n00bs and strike them down with her rhinestone-studded mace. (The diamond-studded one is only for display, and Special Occasions. wink.gif ) Though she may not have the physique of one, Mini certain boasts the spirit of an Amazonian woman, sending both lust and fear into the hearts of men as she sees fit. Her fan club *cough*harem*cough* ranges far and wide across the globe, from inexperienced newbie to seasoned fogey (not unlike herself tongue.gif), but we all know Mini only has eyes for the wonderfully unclad boys of the yaoi realm. Real men? As if anyone on this here planet is man enough to take our Mini on. (However, Mini has been sighted exchange sweet-none-of-your-frickin'-business-es with several ladies hereabouts--all formidable in their own rights, of course, but coupled with Mini...a truly phenomenal team indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if they subjugate the entire sperm-carrying population to slavery by Mini's 40th birthday.


I suck at roasting. sad.gif

Happy day-after-birthday, Mini~
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