HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
full metal alchemist
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Carnal Malefacto...
post Jan 29 2006, 04:51 PM
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This is one of the songs I wrote for my two-man project [the other guy plays guitar, I do everything else]. I got a little impatient waiting for the guitars to be recorded, so I went ahead and exported the song to an mp3 using Guitar Pro's RSE emulation engine [which produces a pretty realistic guitar sound]. The drums are looped here, but the finished version will have more fills, and a couple of the riffs will ultimately have alternate endings, but you should get a pretty good sense of what I'm going for. Of course, the final version will also have vocals.

Web of Cruelty


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JoshP1389
post Jan 29 2006, 05:53 PM
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After listening to it trice, I have to say it's enjoyable, yet it paces. My biggest opinion is to split the song up into a two-parter and cut a few measures of several verses and chorus that repeat so it doesn't leave the listener saying, "Jesus! When will this song end?"

On the verses in the middle, it seems to be lacking melody, as far as genre goes (I'm an indie guy myself, I kid you not). The intro, "2:04", "5:32", and "3:00" (good bass fill) are practically mind-blowing great when it comes to being catchy verses.

Overall, like I said before, it's good, but long. You've got your song, but uneccessary stuff can be taken out.

EDIT: You might like THE BACK HORN, especially the song GAME.


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Carnal Malefacto...
post Jan 29 2006, 06:20 PM
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Points well taken. I think adding vocals and changing up some of the bar endings as I plan to do should take care of some of the repetitiveness.
Also, the final 4 bars will fade out.

QUOTE(JoshP1389 @ Jan 29 2006, 07:38 PM) [snapback]344669[/snapback]

On the verses in the middle, it seems to be lacking melody, as far as genre goes (I'm an indie guy myself, I kid you not)

Not sure what you mean here. Some of the parts in the middle are meant to be dissonant.


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JoshP1389
post Jan 29 2006, 06:24 PM
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QUOTE(void @ Today, 08:05 PM)
QUOTE(JoshP1389 @ Jan 29 2006, 07:38 PM) [snapback]344669[/snapback]

On the verses in the middle, it seems to be lacking melody, as far as genre goes (I'm an indie guy myself, I kid you not)

Not sure what you mean here. Some of the parts in the middle are meant to be dissonant.

Okay. If that's the goal you're aiming for this song, then you're pretty much set.


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Carnal Malefacto...
post Jan 29 2006, 06:40 PM
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Here's another. I just got done working on the drum loops. No bass lines written yet.


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Smoke Alchemist
post Jan 29 2006, 11:50 PM
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Very good Bacon smile.gif


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Slashrose1010
post Jan 30 2006, 05:54 PM
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The Pentecaust was pretty sexy, dude.


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Envy's lil...
post Jan 31 2006, 09:59 PM
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Sounds really good! ohmy.gif

I like how it came out, I can tell it needs some polishing but other than that it sounds great.

Good job Bacon!

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Carnal Malefacto...
post Feb 10 2006, 05:34 PM
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Round 2:

Tap the Driest Vein [slow and doomy]
Seventeen Trials [a bit faster... a lot more complex]
A Minor Extinction [faster still, less complex, but more 'punk']

if clicking the links doesn't work, copy and paste the addresses


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Smoke Alchemist
post Feb 10 2006, 06:34 PM
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BACON!! Minor extinction is awesome...!!! Excellent man! I would love to hear that once it is all patched up and with vocals! great job on that one. the other 2 are good as well...You have quite a talent there smile.gif


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Carnal Malefacto...
post Feb 18 2006, 02:57 PM
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Forgot to post this one. Probably the most aggressive thing I've written.


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master_kakashi
post Feb 18 2006, 05:24 PM
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righteous. i really happened to like seventeen trials. complexity a downfall? i think not. good job there buddy. loved the songs. sweetness. rolleyes.gif


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Carnal Malefacto...
post Feb 18 2006, 09:35 PM
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ok, I take it by the eyeroll that everything you said was sarcasm? huh.gif


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Carnal Malefacto...
post Jul 23 2006, 10:04 PM
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Here's one of the more recent ones.

I decided to shelve or rewrite some of the earlier tunes I posted here.

"Messianic"

Here are the lyrics

[start another holy war]

The path of the righteous
is beset on all sides
by the temptation to repeat our greatest mistakes

Pervasive in history
self-destructive tendency
the tendency to follow holy men to our graves

These same holy charlatans
fiery-eyed and silver-tongued
continue to peddle their snake oil through centuries

With blighted corporeal forms
the crucified succumb to their abuse
in palpable exasperation the patriarchs sigh

[chorus]
Threads of fate spun in a viciously cyclical pattern
Condemned we stand, for transgressions they shall yet commit

Memories haunt, yet we turn a deaf ear to their warnings
Soon we shall be inundated with lessons we refused to learn
...as memory...
turns to
prophecy...
[/chorus]

March off the precipice
like lemmings, led by the drumbeat of war
in panic, we sign a Faustian deal
blinded by glare from our burning monuments
Grasping for meaning, we're bathed in its false light

The fuse is lit
the demagogues become our gods
and murderers hailed as heroes
as tyranny chokes off the sun

The charlatans prosper
the words of the wise go unheard
soon darkness and terror
shall engulf the world

We keep pretending to have control of our
destinies, yet we're blind to the
circumstances leading to the end
of our freedom and our very lives.
Watch the tyrants as they map our course
to oblivion, feeding us their lies
building temples on the backs of our
kneeling brethren as they slowly acquiesce to this degradation...

Kill the sleeping giant
fill his ears with your poison
Make his sons fall in despair
in the wake of your usurpation

[chorus]
Threads of fate spun in a viciously cyclical pattern
Condemned we stand, for transgressions they shall yet commit

Memories haunt, yet we turn a deaf ear to their warnings
Soon we shall be inundated with lessons we refused to learn
...as memory...
turns to
prophecy...
[/chorus]


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Popogeejo
post Jul 23 2006, 10:18 PM
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Lyrics look good. Be this good or bad but I could see SoaD signing that. I'll give it a listen later today though. I'm liking it so far though.


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