HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
full metal alchemist
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Skits and Funny FMA Scenes and FMA Jokes!, Post your creations here!!
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Star Alchemist
post Mar 27 2007, 02:53 PM
Post #211


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This is a very interesting thread. I wonder what'll come next...


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Alli-Cat Alchemi...
post Mar 30 2007, 04:51 PM
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This thread looks cool! Oh I got a skit, but it really stinks (Contains context not suitible for those under 13) *except for the author*



PART 1: ENDING UP IN MY PC


(Edward suddenly pops up of PC screen)

Ed: Wh....Where am I?! This isn't the gate?!

(Al falls down from the sky)

Al: OUCH! Oh, BROTHER!!! (hugs Ed)

Ed: (pushes him off) Al what the hell are you doing here?! WHERE IS HERE?!

Al: I sorta....followed you...ANNNNNNYYYWAAAYSS-where are we Nii-san?

Alli: Hi guys!

Ed & Al: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (Jumps)

(Ed brings out auto-mail sword-thingy)

Ed: Who are you and where are we?!??!?!?!

Alli: You are in my computer! You see, you are just a character in a 51 chapter manga! You are also in a movie, anime, and several video games! (Brings out her 'ANIME-NIA' magazine)

Ed: (Takes the magazine and skims it) What.....What IS this bull?

Alli: I TOLD YOU! Now check this out! (Goes to file and grabs pic of Winry)

(Win falls from the sky)

Winry: Where am I?! Who are you?! ED?! AL?!

Ed &Al: WINRY!!!

Winry: I was JUST working of Mr. Falcers auto-mail!

Alli: Sorry, but it seems that YOU 3 are trapped in my PC!

Ed, Al, & Winry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alli: Shut up or I'll bring Barry the Chopper in here!

Ed, Al, & Winry: (quiet)

Alli: Okay then, I'll give you a tour of my PC!

Too be continued...........

PART 2: The Horrors of fanfiction

Ed Al, & Winry: (Walking around in the computer)

Winry: (Points to toolbar) What's this? 'F-A-N-F-I-C-T-I-O-N"

Alli: Um....you REALLLY don't wanna read that.....

ED: Why not? I love to read!

Al: Ditto!

Alli: But!

Ed, Al, & Winry: PPPPPPPPPWWWWWWEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEE?!?:!?!

Alli: Fine then! (Opens 'FANFICTION.NET)

Alli: See? You go to 'ANIME/MANGA" then "FullMetal Alchemist"

Ed: HAHA! The show's named after ME!

Winry: Then why didn't they just call it 'FullMetal Chibi'?

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE'S SMALLER THAN A EMI-CON!

Alli & Al: SHUT UP!

Ed, Al, Winry: (Read a FMA fanfiction)

Ed: Edwin? What's that?

(they continue reading)

Alli: (Leaves to go get CHOCOLATE MILK!)

(From the PC)................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ed: HOLY JESUS!!!!!!!

Winry: WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!?!

Al: (rolls on the floor laughing)

Alli: (drinking milk: It's fanfiction. Stories made up by fans. Alot of FMA fans are Edwin fans!

Ed: I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH WINRY!

Winry: YEA WHAT HE SAID!

Alli: (grins) Okay Ed, then read this, (Shows him an EdRoy Fic)

Ed: (shutters in horror)

Ed: Oh....my....god....those.....those sick bastards.....

Alli: Told you, these people are crazy, genius, but crazy

Al: (grabs other fanfiction) I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW THIS TO GRANNY! ED AND WINRY SITTIN' IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!

Ed and Winry: (blushes)

Alli: (gives him another fic *lemon*)

(Al looks at it and laughs more)

Al: Let me rephrase that, ED AND WINRY SITTIN' IN A TREE! F-U-C-K-I-N-G!

Ed: I'll kill whoever writes this junk!

Winry: My wrench is ready to go!

Alli: Sorry guys, but there is millions of authors around the world. Including me......

Ed & Winry: Aw mmmmmmmmaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!

Ed: Wait what?


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IttyBittyPretty
post Apr 19 2007, 06:19 PM
Post #213


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Here is my idea, although it might be more frightening than funny. After Envy shows Edward his real face, he doesn't kill Edward. Instead, Envy pulls out a hypodermic needle hidden in his hair (who KNOWS what is in there!) and he injects Ed with a knock out drug.

Edward wakes up tied spread-eagled on a bed somewhere in Dante's hideout. With Envy's help, she forces Ed to drink a disgusting liquid she calls "Milk of Amnesia". Each glass knocks him out again, and when he wakes up, Ed remembers less and less of his past. By the 5th dose, he can't even remember his own name.

Dante tells him his new name is "Pride" and she begins feeding him red stones. They don't turn him into a homunculus, but they do change his personality, from likeable to complete b******d. In other words, more like Envy, who Dante says is his brother. Envy tells Edward his own backstory and there is lots of brotherly "bonding."

Meanwhile, the other homunculi are so fixated on this drama, no one notices Alphonse gets loose and he high-tails it for the upper world of Central. Good thing too, because Envy has convinced "Pride" it would be a real hoot to scratch off Al's blood seal.

They are disappointed to find Al is gone, but Dante
has a better idea. She sends Envy to Risembool to kidnap Winry and bring her back as a mate for "Pride". (She has somehow found out the Fuhrer is dead). So this sets the scene, Envy dumps the angry, struggling Winry on the floor in front of Dante and "Pride".

Dante: Here she is, Pride, your lovely bride as promised

"Pride": Hot diggity! *He pops another red stone like popcorn into his mouth.*

Winry: E -Ed? Edward? *She jumps up and throws her arms around him* Oh, Edward! I'm so glad you're here!

Dante: OK, Pride, you know what to do now.

"Pride": Uh, do what? *grins idiotically*

Dante: *annoyed* Seduce her, you dummy!

"Pride": Uh, what does that mean?

Dante: *steamed* You have sex with her, you know! *suddenly realizes she will have to be graphic and blushes* Oh, d****t! Envy! You're his brother - YOU show him! *stalks off*

Envy: OK, Ed - I mean Pride, first, you gotta get naked.

"Pride": Naked!? It's naked time! Whee! *Rips off all his clothes and runs around* I'm free! I'm free!

Envy: *slaps himself on forehead* No, stupid! *Whaps "Pride" on the back of his head and knocks him face first on the floor.

"Pride": *jumps up in anger* What'ja go and hit me for?

Winry: *looks back and forth between them and wonders what the hey is going on. Sees Ed's "ding-a-ling" and covers her face with her hands*

Envy: Pay attention, idiot! You see that? *Looks down at Ed's crotch*

"Pride": See what? *Follows Envy's gaze, gasps in horror, and puts his hands over his "astonishment".

Envy: You have to get that thing hard, and then stick it inside that girl.

"Pride": *slyly* And for what reason?

Envy: To make babies, you schmuck! *Slaps Ed on the head*

"Pride": Ouch! *He slaps Envy back and a "two stooges" moment breaks out. It turns into a three stooges moment when Gluttony walks in and gets slapped by accident.

Envy: D****t Gluttony! What do you want!?

Gluttony: Can I eat the girl?

Envy: *blows up* NO! Now get lost! *Grabs Ed by the throat, points and Winry* Now, you idiot, get over there and put a baby into her or I'll kick your a**!

"Pride": *grumbling* OK! OK! You don't have to be so mean about it. *Goes up to Winry and stares at her for a moment, then returns to Envy.* Umm, where does it go?

Envy: Must I spell it out for you?

"Pride": *innocent look on his face* No, just show me

Envy: *starts to speak, then he suddenly realizes he doesn't know anything about the anatomy of human females. So he stomps over to the door, opens it and calls out* Hey! Lust! Sloth! Come over here for a minute, 'k?

*Lust and Sloth walk over and stand just outside the door*

Lust: What is it?

Envy: Um...*pauses*

Sloth: We haven't got all day, Envy, spit it out!

Envy: Uh, do you remember, erm, having, ah, sex while you were still human!

Lust: *eyes glitter dangerously* If you're looking for a threesome, Envy, forget it!

Envy: *waves his hands in the air* No! No! It's nothing like that! It's just...

Sloth: Just WHAT!?

Envy: Dante told the kid to screw that mechanic girl, and he doesn't know what to do. H**l, I don't know what to do! can you help me out here?

So Sloth and Lust take pity and tell Envy. A blush spreads from his throat to his hairline and his eyes widen like saucers.

Envy: Uh, thanks. I don't need to hear any more of this smut, thank you very much. *He backs up and slams the door shut, then spins around, his face is still red*

"Pride": Well?

Envy: Shut up, Pride! Lemme think!

Winry: *arms folded, sarcastically* Take your time.

Envy: OK, first things first. We gotta take off her clothes.

"Pride": *hopeful* All of them

Envy: *back to his old, evil self* That's right, little bro. ALL of them, every stitch.

"Pride": Whee! It's naked time again! *Capers about the room*
It's naked time! It's naked time! Yo-ho-ho! It's naked time!

Envy: *whaps Ed again* Shut up already! You're giving me a headache THIS BIG! Now quit messing around and take her clothes off!

"Pride": *advances on Winry, who backs up* Hey, Winry! Wanna get naked?! *He offers her some red stones* Try some of these! They're nice and crunchy, but they need a little salt.

"Pride" reaches for Winry's shirt and lunges, but when he touches her chest, she pulls out the wrench she was hiding behind her back and cold-cocks him. Pride lays cross-eyed, on the floor.

"Pride": OOO! Look at the pretty birdies!

Envy: *buries face in hands* Oh, geesh! Send a human to do a homunculi's job... *He advances on Winry* C'mon, take 'em off, take 'em all off. *Leers*

Winry: What part of 'don't touch me your disgusting freak of nature' do you not understand? *swings the wrench*

Envy: OOO! Look at the pretty stars!

Half an hour later, Winry is still clothed and Envy and "Pride" have huge, pulsating lumps on their heads. They sit together across the room from her and strategize.

Envy: OK, here's what we do. I've seen humans do really stupid things when they are drunk, things they wouldn't normally do when they are sober. So, we'll get a bunch of booze and get her drunk!

"Pride": Yeah!

Envy: I'll go raid Dante's liquor cabinet, and you make sure Winry stays here, 'k?

"Pride": *grins wickedly*


Another half hour goes by and Envy returns with several bottles of liquor in a basket. He's got vodka, ouzo, whiskey, brandy, cognac, tequila, etc. Plus three large brandy snifters. In the meantime, "Pride" has been offering more red stones to Winry while he says the same thing over and over: They don't taste too bad, but they need salt.

"Pride": Which one will get her drunk faster?

Envy: I dunno, let's mix 'em all together!

"Pride": Yeah!

They do so and pour some of each bottle equally into three brandy snifters. "Pride" takes on over to Winry.

"Pride": Here ya go honey! Drink up!

Winry: *takes the snifter warily, just in case Ed is thinking of grabbing her chest again*

Envy: What's the matter, Winry? Do you still drink milk, or something? *sneers*

Winry: No, but I want to see you guys drink first, you know, you never know if there's poison in this glass! *smiles innocently*

Envy: *snorts* Huh! You think we men can't handle our liquor?! We'll show you! Won't we Pride?

"Pride": *does a double take* Uhm, yeah!

Both drain their snifters of liquor at once. Both go "bleh!" right after, but they manage not to throw up.

Winry: *takes the tiniest sip of her drink and makes a face* OK, I took a drink, now it's your turn again!

Envy fills his and Pride's snifters with another alcohol mixture and they drink it down.

Envy: *slurs a little* Ok-shay, now you gotsha drinksh!

In another hour, the bottles are empty and both Envy and Pride are dead drunk. Pride has actually passed out, and Envy is close to it. What neither of them knows is Winry actually spat out each sip back into her snifter, so she's still stone cold sober. Once Envy passes out, she goes to the door and opens it. Seeing the coast is clear, she leaves the room, gently closing the door behind her.

Fin: (whew!)


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th3 k3y mast3r
post Apr 27 2007, 12:21 PM
Post #214


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Me: @Udon Do another one, there really is a fanbase out there.
Ed: Why don't you do one?
Me: Me, oh I don't know, you see I'm not ver...
Al: Come on, write.
Me: What about Udon?
Ed: Steal his crown. make him pay for stealing your spotlight.
Al: Actually, it was his spotlight to begin with.
Ed: Whatever.
Me: I can't do that, I'm to nice of a guy.
Ed: Well I'm not.
(Ed writes a two paragraph skit)
Ed: How do you like it.
Al: Well, it's kind of short.
Ed: (steaming) WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!!!!
(Ed and Al chase each other in circles)
Me: Huh? Ahh, oh well, If you want a suggestion why not do a skit that involves Roy, Ed, and a banana. NOT YAOI.
Ed: (out of breath) What? You want me and Roy to do what with a banana?
Me: Thats for Udon to decide. tongue.gif
Ed. Why you. (Ed runs after me)
Me: Looking forward to your next one. (runs off of stage)


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live4him4eva
post Apr 28 2007, 05:45 AM
Post #215


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Hey, how about a skit where Fullmetal Alchemist hits Who's Line is it Anyway? It can be quick and easy, and I'm sure lots of fun :3


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slightly-smiling
post May 31 2007, 03:03 PM
Post #216


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Ed: Well, I take it we are all finding this SOOO fascinating.

Al: well, of course they are. Just look at them all. Some of dancing. I really liked the crayon and lifeboat one. I love the color blue!
And envy... and liquor...and Roy... and you..... and Winry...

Me: The people know what they want, and they know what humor is. Thats where we come in.

Ed: whaddaya mean??

Me: Ya know, do a little dance, make a little joke, just have fun with it.

Al: Can I have my crayon back??

Me: Sure, here's a whole box. *hands him a box*

Al: SQUEE!!

Ed: Okay, heres my joke: No smoking on the hydrogen blimp. ~~Puff Puff~~ *BOOM!* Hindenburg...

Me: Youre in Fullmetal Alchemist. You dont know what a blimp is.

Ed: whatever. Thats retarded.

Me: Well, lets drag Roy into this and see what happens.

Al: Hey, there are no crayons in this box.

Me: *hands him a whole box of crayons and dissapears through a door*

Ed: wonder where she ran off to. *Stares at Al staring at his crayons.* youre such a dork

Me: *Drags roy in by the shirt colar* Ed called you a dorkist racist low life over-achiever. Are you gonna take that from him?

Roy: Oh yeah, Well, Ed is sooo short, he is microscopic bean sized midget unicellular sized with extra shrimpness in a bucket of shrimpy cocktail sauce. What ya gonna do about that, beany??

Ed: Im not a... whatever the hell you said.

Al: *Absentmindedly mumbles* a microscopic bean sized midget unicellular sized with extra shrimpness in a bucket of shrimpy cocktail sauce.

Roy: bean.

Ed: Im not a bean.

Roy: bean.

Ed: Im NOT a bean.

Roy: beanbeanbeanbeanbeanbean.

Ed:...I'll kill you...

Me: actually... this chart says the peole dont want to see you injuring each other. They want to see a litlle more... how can I say this... romantic action.

Ed&Roy: EEW, OMFG, WTF, WTH, and other nonsense bitebacks and denials.

Al: *is proceeding to draw on his loincloth with crayons* heehee!

Winry: *just happens to walk in* what the hell is going on?

Me: *points at Roy and Ed* They were just making out!!

Winry: OMG, are you serious?? *Goes after Roy with a wrench.

Me: Mumbles>> Wow, isnt that suggestive...

Ed: It is nothing of the sort. You are playing our emotions against each other. *Gets whacked in the back of the head with a wrench thrown at breakneck speed* OW! WHAT THE HELL?

Scar: *Walks in out of nowhere and taps Ed on the shoulder*

Ed: *Briefly turns around and glances at scar* Oh, hey Scar. *Turns back to me, then does a double take, screams like a girl, then runs*

Scar: GET BACK HERE!! *runs after him*

Me: And so, in this badly drawn attempt at making something funny, all ends in havoc and chaos. Lets do a recapitulation. Scar is chasing Roy and Ed, who didnt want to do something romantic, and Winry thinks they were doing something to that affect, so she is teaming up with Scar and throwing wrenches at them both.

Al: *Stands* Look, I drew a kitty! * The kitty is upside down on his loincloth, because it is attached to him, and he was siiting when he drew it.*

Me: Busts a gut and falls onto her back, laughing hysterrically.


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Slightly smiling, yet nothing to hide,
Slowly dying on the inside
a spirit that soars, yet a heart lay broken
a future untold, but a life hath forseen
it all lays here in the words left unspoken
of a life or a void that used to be me.


~~If you have attempted alchemy by drawing an array or clapping your hands,
copy and paste this into your signature~~

~~If you cried or balled your eyes out any time during episode 25, copy and paste this into your signature~~


If you think that Edward could be the eighth deadly sin, copy and paste this into your signature.
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Tombow
post May 31 2007, 03:57 PM
Post #217


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@Alli-Cat Alchemist, and IttyBittyPretty, and th3 k3y mast3r, nice ones!!
(Sorry for the delayed response!! tongue.gif )

@slightly-smiling - Haha, Roy is mean!! laugh.gif LOL!! I liked it!! ^^


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Envy-chan
post May 31 2007, 07:01 PM
Post #218


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This is a skit that me and my friends are going to do at Youmacon 2007! tongue.gif

Sloth: *Exasperated sigh* Another boring day... nothing to do... Even if there was something to do, I wouldn't do it...

Wrath: *In distance* Mommy!

Sloth: .....

Wrath: *Comes running out on stage* Mommymommymommymommy!

Sloth: *Runs around, and then loses breath 5 seconds later* Oh god...

Wrath: *Glomps Sloth* Mommy!

Sloth: *Falls over and pretends to be dead*

Wrath: Mommy? Mommy, wake up! *Kicks*

Sloth: Augh! ENVY! Help me!

Envy: *Walks out on stage* What is it?

Sloth: Get him off of me! Do anything!

Envy: *Ponders, then walks up to Wrath, wrapping his arms around him* You know Wrath... *Sexy voice* I've always loved you...

Wrath: *Runs away*

Sloth: ... Did you really?

Envy: NO! *Blushes* Maybe... *Walks away*

Sloth: ... Men.


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IttyBittyPretty
post Jun 1 2007, 06:50 PM
Post #219


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This is a little something I wrote a few months ago, and put on my deviant art journal. I thought it was funny at the time - heck, I STILL think it's funny. So I copied and pasted it here for your reading pleasure. More or less. Here goes:

This idea for a "prequel" to the "Hagaren Kids" OVA has been nibbling for a while and it will not go away. So that tells me I HAVE to write it down:
PLACE: Tokyo
TIME: 1960s or 70s

INT DAY: A black screen. Snoring is heard. The screen slowly dissolves into a close up of a closed eye. The camera inches back and we see TWO closed eyes. Then, music is heard. (NOTE: The song being played would have been a tune so insanely popular in Japan in the 60s or 70s, it was played ALL the time. And so it became EXTREMELY annoying)

The sleeper awakens with a snort. The eyes pop open and blink a few times before narrowing when he realizes THAT song is playing.

INT DAY: The side of the bed is seen, suddenly two legs thump onto the floor - one of flesh, the other of automail. Much grumbling is heard as an automail hand first reaches for a robe, then slippers. Glimpses of the "grumbler's" body can be seen, but not his face.

INT DAY HALL: A door opens and a man with very long blond hair stumbles out and heads away from the camera and towards the kitchen. His face is in shadow from the side.

INT DAY KIT: A radio is seen, then the camera pans to a woman seen from behind. She's humming along to the music as she cooks breakfast. Camera pans over to ALPHONSE ELRIC sitting at the table. He's drinking tea and reading the newspaper. He looks up and smiles at the new arrival and says:

"Good morning, Sleep - oh, NO! NO, BROTHER! DON'T -!"

The woman screams: "No, Papa-san, please!"

But it's too late.

EXT DAY: The window of an apartment in Tokyo. The distant scream of a woman is heard just before there is a flash of blue light. A bang is heard, then the window smashes and something in flames shoots out and into the stratosphere

EXT DAY: People throughout Tokyo see this blazing object and point to it. A newscast breaks into TV programming:
"Another flaming object was seen hurtling thorough the sky over Tokyo this morning. Spectulation has been rife as to what "it" is: a meteor? an alien spaceship? a burning aircraft? Godzilla?"

MEANWHILE - THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY.

EXT DAY: A rice paddy in China. Earnest Young Communist Peasants are working in the paddy while they sing Earnest Young Communist Working Songs. Suddenly, a whistling sound is heard overhead.

Random Peasant #1: Uh-oh!
RP#2: Not again!
RP#3: Incoming! Hit the dirt!

People run away in panic as the whistling sound grows louder, and then something slams hard into the middle of the rice paddy, which sends water and rice shootlets flying in every direction.

HOURS LATER:

EXT NIGHT: A team of Chinese scientists in "bunny suits" send a remote controlled robot into the rice paddy to retrieve the smoking "thing". A claw on the robot picks it up and brings it closer to the camera mounted on it's body. The scientists lean in for a good view, one fiddles with the controls to focus. The "thing" is smoking, half melted and blackened, but enough of it remains to show it once was a - transistor radio.

BACK IN TOKYO

INT DAY: The woman is standing at the destroyed window, seen from behind. She's up on tiptoes and her right hand is over her eye, shielding it from the morning sun as her radio flys into the wild blue yonder. Alphonse stands next to her, hands on hips. He's digusted.

Woman speaks: "Darn you, Papa-san! That is the seventh one you've launched this month! The neighbors are starting to complain."

There is no answer, so Alphonse turns to say "You idiot!" for the thousandth time to his older brother. What instead leaves his lips is a very rude word in Japanese.

His brother is sitting in his recently vacated chair while drinking HIS tea and reading the newspaper.
The morning sun slanting in through the window makes it hard to see his face clearly, but EDWARD ELRIC looks Very Pleased With Himself.

The End.
********
Whaddaya think?

This could also be set in the alchemic world Tokyo.


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Tombow
post Jun 2 2007, 03:38 PM
Post #220


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@Envy-chan - Oh, you're gonna do that skit at Youmacon 2007?? Nice!! biggrin.gif
Hope you take some pics, and show us!! happy.gif

@IttyBittyPretty - Hehe, that's funny!! biggrin.gif
Thanks for sharing it with us!! ^^


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Envy-chan
post Jun 3 2007, 04:48 PM
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@IttyBittyPretty- Nice! xD

@Tombow- Yep! It'll be our second skit. We're going to do a Naruto one at Jafax.


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IttyBittyPretty
post Jun 3 2007, 06:34 PM
Post #222


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TY Tombow, and Envy-chan for the nice words. Now, I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to make that into a fan-made video (either live action, or animated). *hint* tongue.gif


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slightly-smiling
post Jun 5 2007, 02:05 PM
Post #223


Citizen
*

Group: Members
Posts: 18
Joined: 27-April 07
From: somewhere far away from the pain...
Member No.: 46,379
Gender: Female



Ed: Well, Im back, because... my manager... is forcing me. {sob}

Me: Its okay, Edo-kun. We all know your manager is a jerk.

Ed:This is your fault. Youre the one making us do funny things.

Me: Well, it is convolution.

((Later on at the Rockbell residence, it is somewhere near three in the morning, and she is sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of saki in one hand and a wrench in the other))

Winry: I'd better get to bed...~twitchtwitch~ ((She puts away the saki and goes through the totally dark living room, tripping on a certain someone who she recognizes as Edward, because she kicked his automail, but then lands on someone else, who does not have automail, or metal of any kind.))

Ed: Ow, what the hell, Winry.

Winry: Ed. who is this? (She is answered by a deep voice which takes her a second to register.)

Roy: Winry?

Winry: What the hell are you doing in my house??

Ed: Wait, Winry, its not what you think. No, wait, put down that wrench. What are you going to do with that wrench?? Put it dow. Winry, just back away slow. No, wait! What are you gonna do to me with that???Winry! No! AAH-!

(( back to reality)

Ed: hey , that never happened!

Me: but it was funny. admit it.

Ed: NO IT WASNT FUNNY! IT WAS RETARDED!!!

Al: I thought it was pretty good. Though I didn't think you'd be retarded enough to sneak Roy-sama into Winrys house.

Ed: Im telling you, that never happened!!

((Later, on a dimly lit stage, Ed walks on with a handful of cue cards.))

Ed:: The reason why Max-Chan and my brother are nopt here to inform you of this is because they are bound, gagged, and locked in a back closet. The suggestive scenes as told by Max are not in any way fatual. I AM NOT in love or have I had relations with in any way, shape or form with the Colonel.

Me:: {Swings in on a rope and kicks Ed in the head} How dare you lock me in the closet!!!

Ed:: No, Max, its not what you think!! The closet just happened to lock!! No...Max, what are you doing? Put the pool stick down. Max, just back away slow. What are you gonna do with that? No! Get away from me!! AAH-!

Roy:: Why am I not in this one?? I never got to talk for myself...

Winry:: Neither did I... {sob}


--------------------
Slightly smiling, yet nothing to hide,
Slowly dying on the inside
a spirit that soars, yet a heart lay broken
a future untold, but a life hath forseen
it all lays here in the words left unspoken
of a life or a void that used to be me.


~~If you have attempted alchemy by drawing an array or clapping your hands,
copy and paste this into your signature~~

~~If you cried or balled your eyes out any time during episode 25, copy and paste this into your signature~~


If you think that Edward could be the eighth deadly sin, copy and paste this into your signature.
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slightly-smiling
post Jun 7 2007, 03:00 PM
Post #224


Citizen
*

Group: Members
Posts: 18
Joined: 27-April 07
From: somewhere far away from the pain...
Member No.: 46,379
Gender: Female



Ed: Im tired of this. I am quitting.

Me: No, Ed, you can't quit. You're under contract.

Ed: {Sob} Never sign anything if you don't know what it is, man.

Al: I signed one, too, and, I have to say, what Max-Chan is doing to Nii-san is pretty funny.

Me: Thank you, Al. Anyway, lets just go and see what my little mind has come up with now.

((In an office, Ed is sitting at a desk, with a pen in his left hand, writing away. Every now and then, he'll scratch out a bit, and rewrite some.))

Me: Edo-kun, what are you writing?

Ed: Go away, Max. You've ruined my life enough.

Me: Come on... tell me. You know suspense is bad. I can't live under pressure. I HAVE A HEART MURMUR!!

Ed: you do not.

Me: Whatever. So, what is it? What your writing. ( Snatches it away )

Ed: NUUU! DONT READ THAT!!!!!

Me: Why, its poetry. Never knew Ed to be such a deep person.

Ed: Someone shoot me.

Me: Lets read it, shall we??

Ed: Im not going to protest. I know youll read it anyway.

Me: Life, as told by Edward.

((Somehow, there is an audience, ready to hear Eds poetry. Roy, Winry, Al, Havoc, all the people from Liore, and even the fuhrer.)

Me: Here we goes.
'Even in this world of pain and strife,
A heart must learn to look ahead,
and see
that it has brighter days coming.
Even in the war torn world
A rose still grows.
Bright and beautiful
the sun shines,
though no one tells it,
we know it'll be there in the morning."


((Everyone claps))

Ed: you really thought it was good?

Me: Well of course. No one writes poetry like this. Oh, theres something on the back too.

Ed: NO!!!

Me: Its the beginning of a fanfic. With... me... and... ILL KILL YOU, YOU MICROSCOPIC FLEA SIZED SINGLE CELL PARAMECIUM!!!

((Back to reality))

Ed: You wrote that??

Me: I know youll never write gorgeous poetry like that.

Ed: You have yet to read my poetry.

Me: Actually, I hacked into your computer, read your online journal, your poetry, and all the fanfics youve written.

Ed: Seriously?

Me: No, but now I know you write fanfics.

Al: Wow brother, set yourself up there.

Ed: I DID NOT!

Me: Did too.

Ed: Max, I hope you know, I'll kill you someday.

Me: Nah, you love me too much.

Ed: I do not.

Me: Then whats this beginning of a fanfic I found with you and me??

Ed: Er... thats not mine.

Me: It says, by Edward Elric.

Ed: Gimme that. (Snatches it away) Wait... this is a badly drawn picture of a cat.

Al: IT IS NOT BADLY DRAWN!! {Attacks}

Me: And so, we learned today that Ed does in fact write poetry and fanfics.

Ed: I DO NOT!!!

((Later on, a dimly lit stage, Ed once again walks up with cue cards by himself))

Ed: Tonight, Id like to inform you of the tragic death of Max-Chan. I hope you all loved her very much, because, I can tell you now, I didnt.

Max: Ed? What are you doing?

Ed: NOTHING! I WAS NOT TELLING EVERYONE YOU WERE DEAD! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT???!

Me: Do you think I'm stupid.

Ed: No.

Me: Well I think you are.

Ed: No, I'm not. Quit telling me how stupid I am, because I know just how stupid I a-

Me: {Gigglesnort}

Ed: SHUT UP!

Al: She didnt say anything, nii-san.

Me: Gimme them cue cards. (Snatches)

Ed: DONT READ THOSE!!

Me: Its the beginning of a fanfic. With me and... IM GONNA KILL YOU.

Ed: No, Max. What are you going to do with those cards?

Me: Im gonna stick 'em where the sun dont shine.

Ed: In a box? (looks hopeful)

Me: no.


--------------------
Slightly smiling, yet nothing to hide,
Slowly dying on the inside
a spirit that soars, yet a heart lay broken
a future untold, but a life hath forseen
it all lays here in the words left unspoken
of a life or a void that used to be me.


~~If you have attempted alchemy by drawing an array or clapping your hands,
copy and paste this into your signature~~

~~If you cried or balled your eyes out any time during episode 25, copy and paste this into your signature~~


If you think that Edward could be the eighth deadly sin, copy and paste this into your signature.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
slightly-smiling
post Aug 10 2007, 01:52 PM
Post #225


Citizen
*

Group: Members
Posts: 18
Joined: 27-April 07
From: somewhere far away from the pain...
Member No.: 46,379
Gender: Female



Ed: This is hopeless. Theres nothing to live for. I'm a puppet on an endless string of lies.

me: where'd that come from?

Ed: The pit of endless despair that used to be my heart.

Al: Wow, Max-chan, he's pretty depressed.

Me: But I didn't make him this way! Did I ?!

Ed: Lies... all lies...

Al: You okay, nii-san?

Ed: Time itself is one big lie. And what does it matter. We're all just dust in the wind.

Me: Edward...?

Ed: Dusty lies...

Me: Well... this is depressing....

Ed: Big fat dusty lies... badly drawn images of fake truths... pain... so much confusion....

Me: Okay, Ed you're really starting to bum me out. Well, while Ed is realizing the emo side of himself, how about a skit to pass the time?

-<<on a deserted island>>-

Ed: where are we?

Al: How should I know?

Me: WERE STUCK HERE FOREVER!!!! (sob)

Ed: Shut up. At least there's no one here to make fun out of me.

Roy: I am the ghost of skit-like past.

Winry: I am the ghost of skit-like present.

Bradley: I am your father.

Ed: Wha... what?!

Bradley: Fuhrer, i I said Fuhrer.

Me: ED IS HALLUCINATING!!

Ed: I am not, he said father.

Al: Sorry, nii-san, he said fuhrer.

Me: Yeah, dude, get a straight jacket.

Scar: I am the ghost of skit-like future.

Ed: Is this going to be like 'a christmas carol'?

Me: What's a christmas carol? You're from Fullmetal Alchemist, you don't know that story.

Ed: I hate being stupid.

Me: You're not stupid, just a little uneducated in the modern ways of the world.

Al: Just watch.

Roy: Ed, if you don't give in and do the skits, you will end up working at McDonalds.

Ed: What?

Roy: and you'll be in milk commercials.

Ed: WHAT?? I DONT BELIEVE YOU!!

Winry: Ed, if you don't give in and do the skits, you'll end up in four major car crashes in three minutes.

Ed: is that even possible?

Winry: And you'll have two automail legs and an automail finger on your left hand.

Ed: WHAT! NO WAY!

Scar: Ed, if you don't give in to the skitty goodness you'll... (leans down and whispers in his ear)

Ed: No... you aren't serious...

Scar: (whispers more) and you'll end up marrying Max and having eight kids.

Ed: NUUU!! I SWEAR IVE CHANGED!! ILL BE GOOD!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

-<<Back to the present>>-

Ed: HAPPY EASTER!!

Me: Where's the bunny? I dont see him.

Al: Maybe Ed has lost it

Ed: NO, Ive changed! I swear Ive changed. I'm more than happy to work on skits with you.


--------------------
Slightly smiling, yet nothing to hide,
Slowly dying on the inside
a spirit that soars, yet a heart lay broken
a future untold, but a life hath forseen
it all lays here in the words left unspoken
of a life or a void that used to be me.


~~If you have attempted alchemy by drawing an array or clapping your hands,
copy and paste this into your signature~~

~~If you cried or balled your eyes out any time during episode 25, copy and paste this into your signature~~


If you think that Edward could be the eighth deadly sin, copy and paste this into your signature.
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