HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
full metal alchemist
full metal alchemist
 



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FMA1 Comic needs YOU!, Looking for someone with a creative mind!
Raichi
post Mar 18 2013, 10:47 PM
Post #1


Citizen
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Group: Members
Posts: 50
Joined: 12-July 10
From: Holland
Member No.: 74,870
Gender: Female



Intro:
Years ago I joined an RP site for FMA1, I wrote out 2 Ishvalan boys and got really attached to them. I only got to rp them twice though. The first time the person just stopped replying and vanished into thin air. The second time the person got really busy and never got un-busy again.
Then the site sort of died since I was the only truly active person, and I never got to RP my boys again. I got really attached to them though, so I decided to turn their story into a comic.
Thing is, I get stuck on panels really quickly, I think too much on what I want the story to tell which makes it hard for me to focus on where the story is right now. That's why I need someone to make scripts for me, so that I know exactly what to draw.


Pages so far:

Cover



and


and

and a WIP



What I need YOU for:
- Adding more minor plots to the story
- Adding more characters to the story
- Writing out scripts
- Help think of a title for the comic

So basically I'm looking for a very creative writer who loves to think of plots and stories and write them out, someone who has a big love for the FMA1 story. (Since that's the setting of the story)

More info in the next post:
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Raichi
post Mar 18 2013, 10:55 PM
Post #2


Citizen
*

Group: Members
Posts: 50
Joined: 12-July 10
From: Holland
Member No.: 74,870
Gender: Female



What I have written out:

The start of a Journey
It was early in the morning, still dark out. Isha had sneaked out of the orphanage to meet up with Shayem at their favorite spot, from where they would start their journey through the desert. Isha was the first to arrive. "It should be 4-AM.. he should be here by now" he spoke to himself trying to warm himself with his cape from the cold breeze, but soon noticed a familiar figure approaching from afar.

"Sorry I'm late.."
Shayem apologized and handed over some money "This was all I could take"

Isha took the money, put it in his bag, lifted it over his shoulder and smiled "We'll manage, let's go"

Shayem nodded, he had a slight look of worry in his eyes yet again seemed just as excited to leave as Isha. Traveling past the last few houses they reached the desert. "Are you sure about this?" Isha asked, he knew Shayem still had a family that would be worried sick when they'd find out, but Shayem nodded with a determined face. "Central City here we come" he quickly said putting the first few steps in a hurry, Isha quickly catching up on him laughing a bit and gave a playful pat on Shayem's head. After seemingly endless walking through the desert the sun started rising to bring warmth.

"Can I have some water..?" Shayem asked
"Already? The sun isn't even halfway the sky yet"
Shayem looked disappointed, he had forgotten to drink when he left home and only wanted a sip.
"Alright, sorry, here you go" Isha got a bottle of water out of his bag and handed it to Shayem, he had a weak for anything to feel sorry for.

Their journey continued, the sun rose higher and the boys stuffed their capes in Isha's bag due to the heat. They were lucky to not have faced a sandstorm, in fact, it was extremely hot but they were used to hot weather conditions. As the sun reached the top of the sky both boys allowed their bodies to fall down to rest. Isha laughed softly "Look at us.. going on adventure for the sake of all of those people" he was satisfied. Shayem was pleased too and searched through Isha's bag for food, but there was nothing but their capes and water. "Isha, you didn't pack food" he said upset. "So? If we keep walking we can make it in one or two days.." Isha was relaxed, he never gave things much thought. "And what about the time we sleep? A-and without food we won't have the energy to keep up this pace, we're going to die out here!" Isha sat up and looked at his upset friend as if nothing was the matter. "Do you really think I would let you die?" he got up and helped Shayem up "We better get going again" "But we just stopped!"

Isha walked ahead "No complaining, the desert is just as much our friend as it is our enemy" Shayem caught up to him and tried to meet his eyes "I trust you" though his face showed he had a hard time trying to. They managed to get passed the first day and night just fine, both sleeping half a night while the other kept watch, clinging to each other beneath their capes to shield themselves from the bitter cold. The next morning they were walking, though their spirit wasn't lively anymore at all. Their bodies were tired, their eyes were tired, their feet hurt, and most of all.. "I'm Staaaarviiiiing..."

Isha walked like a zombie but with his arms facing downwards, his stomach growling and acing for food. "Me too but it was your idea not to bring food" Shayem placed his cold hand onto his belly to calm it "Let's just keep walking and hope we don't die.."
The cunning remarks caused Isha to snap out of it. He realized again that Shayem had put everything on the line for him, his family, his life, he trusted him. Isha knew very well he barely prepared for the trip and if they'd die it would be his stupid fault. He was just about to speak up but Shayem beat him to it with an enthusiastic scream "HEY LOOK!! People!!" he said with a smile and started waving to the distance. A group of five travelers were riding horses through the desert, they were grown ups, from the military! Happy to see other living beings after so long Shayem ran towards them, Isha chasing him. When they got closer he noticed their outfits and stopped Shayem "What are you doing! They're from the military!" he whispered, but it was already too late, they were already spotted.

"Hey, are you lost, what are two children doing in the middle of the desert?" Isha immediately got defensive "Oh yeah!! Well what are Military Personnel doing in the middle of the desert!!" The only female in the group laughed at the aggressive comeback and spoke up "Don't get your panties in a bunch kid, we're here because we were ordered to." she then looked at Shayem who had a regretful look on his face, he seemed to be more likely to answer questions "You, boy, what's your name and why are you two out here" Shayem looked her in the eyes "S-sha-" Isha blocked Shayem's mouth with his hand "Non of your business!" "Well, he's really feisty that's for sure.." a man of the group said relaxed and sighed "I'm guessing they ran away from home or something.." he got off his horse to approach "Look kid, I don't care that you two are desert people or whatever you Ishvallens want to call yourselves, it's not safe for two children to travel through the desert by foot.. Why don't you and your friend accept a ride home by horse? I'm sure we can come to a solution for whatever problems you have" Sure the man was only trying to be kind and to do his job, not to mention save their lives, but to Isha all he would do was making their hard traveling work go to waste. Therefore in the meantime that the man was talking he had made a small transmutation-circle in the sand with his foot. "Sure, let me go get something from my bag" but instead of getting something from his back he got through his knees and activated the circle. A giant stone pole made out of pressured sand appeared below Isha and Shayem, boosting them high into the sky. "....!!" the man said slamming his hand against the pole. His colleague approached him "It's not your fault, you don't see child-alchemists often, put aside an Ishvallen child in the middle of the desert. We better move on" "But they're just kids!!! They'll die out here!!" Then the female spoke up "As soon as we'll get to Ishval we'll send reinforcements, let's just go" "Are you insane!? They'll be dead before they're found!! You guys leave without me, I'll stay here and try to reach them" The female started laughing "Good luck, I doubt they'll be coming down to greet you, let's go"

Isha and Shayem were amazed at the view, from here everyone down below were but ants. Shayem looked in amazement and pointed to the distance, "Look! I can see Ishval!! I can't believe we walked all of that!!" Isha who was facing the other side saw but desert ahead and turned around to see Shayem's view. He knew if Shayem would look back he'd find out they had a small chance of survival with their supplies. "Shayem.. I'm sorry" "Hmm? About what? I'm the one that got us into trouble with these guys" he said looking down below and noticed they were leaving "Hey! They're leaving" Isha looked down too to see if it was true "can't be.." and looked down closely all around the pole and noticed they had left one behind. "Nope there's still one here.." it was silent for a while. Shayem had found out about the view on Isha's side and was in shock. Isha turned around having a terrible feeling he had found out "Sha-" but was whacked for his head. "I trusted you Isha!!! Look at that!! How are you planning to cross that distance without food!!!" but Shayem's anger turned to sadness and he sat down to cry in is lap. Isha felt terrible. "I'm sorry.. Shayem, I truly am sorry.." he sat down before him "Please don't cry.. I promised I'd prote-" "How!! Huh!?" Isha frowned and thought.. Suddenly he got an idea and looked down if the man and his horse were still there. "That guy's still down there, let's steal his horse!" Shayem was shocked by the suggestion "Are you crazy! We're not murderers!!!" "Psh, I'm sure he has water, Ishval's just a days walk from here" "But he's just trying to help us!" "Do you want to go back Shayem!? Because that means we've suffered for no reason! Look I am hungry and thirsty too, but this is our only option.. Please.." Shayem looked to the side with a frown "Fine, but I don't like it"



This can be altered and needs to be turned into a script format, so that I know what to draw each panel and what the characters will say.
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