Joined: 24-June 06
From: the gonads
Member No.: 37,703
Ahahaha, yes! Gotchu Muse!
More or less an idea I've been kicking around for a while. It's only now that I finally came up with how to start it. Thanks Muse #5689346.
Muse #5689346: *thumbs up*
Anyways, it's (hopefully) going to be one of three parts
doing it all in separate one shots rather than a series so that I love the motivation to continue, I don't have to. Hope you like it.
Oh and, please, save all questions and WTFs till the end. ~_^ NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS. That's all I'm saying.
He searched. Through the forest surrounding their master's abode, by every tree and bush eventually coming to find what he was looking for sitting on a cliff.
Black head turned and acknowledged the other's presence, then returned to looking at the knees pressed up against his chest.
Wrath's greeting smile slid away, and he walked up to where the other homunculus sat, standing at his side.
"You know, Mother isn't too happy with you running off all the time like this. She's considering punishing you."
The other didn't say anything, but shifted his purple, snake like eyes to the side. His gloved arms tightened around his knees.
"And Pride is throwing a fit since you ran off on her..."
"I don't care. I am not Pride's plaything."
Wrath looked down at the one who finally spoke. The purple eyes he adored so much were narrowed in hate and pain.
"I know Lust, I know." He replied solemnly.
Lust buried his face in his knees. Wrath felt a sting at this sight. God, how he hated Pride for what he put Lust through, his Lust. Where did she get off thinking she could do whatever she wanted with him? It was Wrath that pleaded with 'Mother' to give new life to the dead human he had loved. It was Wrath that watched over Lust even when he was just a pile of organs, despite the revolting appearance. It was Wrath that accepted him despite what Mother had done (although he was ashamed to admit it took a while). Pride had been disgusted at first with Lust; it was only after she discovered he had a handsome human form that she started obsessing over him. She was spoiled and selfish, a mama's girl, and used the fact she was the 'favorite' to get whatever she wanted...including Lust.
It was really only sex she wanted, and to outside eyes, that wouldn't appear to be too bad – especially considering it was the sin of Lust. But there was something wrong with it; Lust didn't want sex with her, he wanted it with Wrath. Pride used it as a means to degrade Lust and make him feel even worse about his pitiful existence as a homunculus. And that just made Wrath boil with his namesake. He had attacked Pride a few times already, but she used the Ultimate Eye to dodge all his attacks, then went straight to Mommy dearest to have her punish him. Lust and Sloth had managed to stop Wrath from attacking her the last few times, after Mother told them she'd seal him away for good if he continued. This made Wrath feel helpless, brewing more anger and hate.
"Wrath..." Lust suddenly began, catching Wrath off guard. "Why was I made?"
Wrath sighed, and ran a hand through his short hair. "We've gone through this a thousand times before, dear..."
"Can’t you just tell me again?"
He looked up with those purple eyes, all begging like, and Wrath could not decline his request.
"Okay, okay." He began, taking a seat next to him. His long legs stretched out across the grass, the ouroboros on his right sole now exposed to the night air. Lust loosened himself, allowing his knees some distance from his chest.
"You were a man I was in love with, a handsome, wonderful man..."
"How'd we meet?"
Wrath looked at him with a shy smile. Lust always asked for these little details. He suspected the other – who of course had no memories of human life, with exception to a few vague images, most of which involved the time he knew Wrath – comforted himself, and made himself feel better by getting wrapped up in an almost fairy tale like story of love. If only Lust knew the full out truth of what ended his human life, he might not view it so. That was why Wrath could never tell him. It’d end one of the few things that gave Lust such happiness. And he was scared, that the younger homunculus might never look at him the same way again.
"Mother sent me to break into your house. You were involved with something that had records she was interested in. I'm not entirely sure anymore what they were. When I saw you, I thought about breaking your neck, but something kept me from doing that. I wasn't sure what it was at first but...I'm damn sure it was love at first sight. I don't care if we're not supposed to feel that way, I know I did.
"I guess you knew the human I was supposed to be. You always called me by his name. Heck, that was your first word, remember? I was so happy to hear you calling me that again...I kept on coming to see you because I loved you so much..."
Wrath paused however, the smile of fond memories leaving him.
"But then...I died right?" Lust said for him.
"How did I again?"
"I don't know." Wrath lied. "I wasn't there."
If you knew it was my fault, how would you react?
"I...brought you to Mother. I couldn't imagine life without you anymore. I begged her to make you a homunculus like us..." he continued. "But...there were some catches."
Lust hung his head, eyes half lidded. He was looking down at his lap, past his belly, to the 'catches' between his legs.
"If I had known she was going to do that to you...I thought she was just going to make you young again when she said there'd be some changes. If I had known she'd try and make you a hermaphrodite I would never have-"
"Yes, you would've. Don't lie to yourself." Lust interrupted.
Wrath, being caught off guard by the rather blunt statement, sulked and looked off to the side. Truth hurt sometimes.
"Wrath? Can I ask something else?"
"What am I really, then?"
"Oh no, don't start that again..."
"Am I male or female?"
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty or something?! Are you trying to pin the blame on me for what you've become?" Wrath started, raising his voice. "And here I thought you were asking me about your creation to feel better, not make me feel worse!"
The older one stopped and looked at Lust. The younger was obviously upset. That's when Wrath realized what he just said was wrong, and that he had let his anger get the best of him and hurt someone close to him...again.
"Please, just tell me..." Lust murmured.
Wrath forced himself to look him directly in the eye. Then, in the calmest and loving voice he had; "Of course you're male."
Lust sighed and finally smiled. Reassurance: that was all he needed. "Thank you..." he said, before changing his position, tucking his feet under his bottom and resting his head on Wrath's shoulder. His gloved arms wrapped around the lower part of the other's torso. "And...you love me, despite everything Mother did...right?"
"Of course I do!"
"Good, good...That's all I wanted to hear..."
There was a short silence as the two sat, together, taking in the sight of the moon and stars forever betrothed to the night. Finally, Wrath started speaking again.
"She used that card on you...didn't she?"
He could feel the nodding notion of Lust's head on his shoulder. The confirmation was already making his blood boil. Pride used Lust's body type to her advantage. She always made him bottom to her topping, constantly insisting "Well, how do we even know what you are? Are you a boy or a girl? I think it's safer to have you bottom like a pitiful little girl..." Names like 'monster', 'a freak of nature even among us homunculi', and so on, were constantly used. She was also not above trashing on the relationship between Wrath and Lust. Her words this night still rang clear in Lust's head, as they did every other night…
"No one could ever love a freak like you Lust. Be grateful you even receive such doting attention from me."
"You're wrong! Wrath loves me!"
"Ha! Homunculi CAN’T feel love, Lust! Any one of us who says they can is full of filthy lies! What he desires, not loves, is the human! He doesn't 'love' you the homunculus, he 'loves' the human you have the appearance of! You're just a replacement! And don't ever forget that!"
"Then-I'll become human! I'll become that human he loves!"
She had laughed at him and revealed a piece of information that was continuing to haunt him...
"How dare she.." Wrath muttered angrily. "Don't ever believe her, Lust, understand?" He knew it was easier said than done though.
"I know...I don't, it's just..."
Wrath nodded himself, understanding where Lust was coming from. It was the way Pride was. She inflated her ego and hid her own insecurities by insulting those around her. Wrath had seen almost this exact same thing happen to Sloth, who Pride hated with a burning passion for being 'born' first, and being the only child actually created by a 'Father'. (Apparently, he was Mother's husband and died after his heart was taken in the creation of Sloth – who was only a test to see if their human transmutation theory worked. Since Pride was the attempt at bringing back Mother's dead daughter, Pride resented Sloth for being created by her 'father'.) Unfortunately for Pride, few things went her way when it came to insulting other homunculi. Sloth had learnt to just ignore her, Gluttony was too much like an animal to take anything she said to heart, Envy was just as malicious as she was (hell, even Pride was scared of him), and Greed could care less what a – quote – 'spoiled brat said about him'. Wrath and Lust were the only ones she got her fill from – angering Wrath to the point of homicide, and making Lust feel like the lowest piece of dirt in existence.
There was more silence. Wrath wanted to change the subject. Any more talk of Pride would make him loose his temper again, and he would attack her. He honestly didn't care what happened to him, being sealed wasn't something that scared him. No, what he was worried about was leaving Lust alone with that beast. Without him there, Pride would devour Lust alive...
"You know...you've been coming here a lot lately..." he muttered, finally thinking of something else to say. His hand moved to Lust's shoulder. "You like this particular spot?"
"Yes. Here I can think."
"Think? Now what would you be thinking about?" he asked with a fond smile.
"Why I'm here. Who I was. What will happen to me. Where will I go."
The smile disappeared. "Oh."
"Why are homunculi created. What actual purpose do we serve? We're not supposed to exist right?"
"...No, I suppose not. But we do. Thats all I know. I don't have to know why. And really, neither do you Lust."
"Mmmm...I can’t be that simple, dear." Lust replied, snuggling in closer to the other, and lightly smiling.
Well at least he's smiling some more. "I know you can't Lust. Because then...you just wouldn't be Lust anymore, now would you?"
"No, I suppose not."
"And what the hell is 'where will I go' supposed to mean anyways?'
"I meant, when I die. If I can even die."
"What? Aren't you ever curious?"
"I'd rather not know. I'm here to live, even if I'm not supposed to exist. I'm existing now and I'm going to exist for a long time."
"Can you honestly accept that?"
"Yes! Why worry about death when it's a concept that hardly applies to us homunculi?"
"Hmmm...and what if we become humans?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
Suddenly Wrath stopped. He noticed something funny in the last thing Lust had said.
"What the hell do you mean if!? Of course we’re going to become humans, Mother promised us!"
Lust's face turned sad and serious. "I wonder..."
"What's going on Lust? You're the one always gun ho about becoming human. You're the one that assured me, that you, me, Sloth and Gluttony would all become humans, and that the four of us were going to live happily together. Us like parents. Sloth and Gluttony like sisters. There's never been a doubt in your mind. What has you saying if now?"
Lust looked up and saw the genuine worry in Wrath's eyes. He had to look back down at the ground; he couldn't tell him this information looking him straight in those worry plagued, violet eyes.
"Something...Pride said tonight...has me worried..." he began.
"Oh...that whore again..." Wrath muttered.
"She said...Mother is lying..."
Violet eyes turned wide and the hand on Lust's shoulder tightened. Wrath became tense. "What."
"Do you really think Mother is going to turn you human with the Philosopher's Stone? Here's a news flash Lusty; she's not."
Wrath was completely dumbfounded. After a few moments, his open mouth managed to produce some words. "What did she mean?"
"She went on to say that Mother is just going to use it for herself. None of us are going to be human."
"That's a lie! It has to be! Pride must've just meant that Mother will use it on her first, she must've!"
"No! She didn't! She said Mother is so selfish she won't even make her daughter human! It's not like Pride to admit something like that! It must be true! That's why I ran out tonight – I couldn't take it! I couldn't take hearing it anymore!"
Wrath looked back up at the stars. He was completely lost.
"Then...what are we living for...?"
The younger one was seemingly about to lose it, tears starting to form in his eyes. Wrath hugged him and tried to comfort him, stroking that soft, black hair. But really, he was just looking for something to comfort him as well. He couldn't even be angry. He was in far too much shock.
"It's...got to be a lie..."
Finally, after several minutes, Lust seemed to regain himself, but remained attached to Wrath, refusing to leave the embrace of his arms. Wrath in turn, was refusing to let go. Thoughts of running away were filling his head, but they were all impractical. He couldn't just leave Sloth – she was like a daughter to him – and Gluttony would follow Lust – the little girl homunculus was far too attached to the other, probably because they were both considered freaks even among freaks. Too many of them would make it easy to be caught, and then all four would receive punishment. And even if they had managed to escape, Mother had pieces of the humans they were meant to be, their one weakness. They just...wouldn't make it.
"It absolutely has to be a lie. Pride was just trying to mess with your head again Lust. I know that's it. Mother wouldn't do this to us." He began. Yes, denial. That was the best option right now. Deny, deny, deny...
"Come on. Let's head back. Sloth tried to smooth things over with you to Mother. She and Gluttony were both worried. Gluttony was even whimpering." Wrath continued.
"Yeah...she does that...You're not around her enough to see. You just see her snarling and growling at Pride." Lust whispered. Obviously, he was still bothered, but denial or at least forgetting seemed to be the choice he was going with too.
They parted and stood. Wrath already begun walking as Lust was stretching. However, something called him back.
Wrath was caught off guard once again. It had been so long since Lust had called him that name. He turned back and looked directly at the other.
"Do you honestly...do you think we...Are we...ever going to be human again?"
Wrath frowned at him, and after a few seconds, gave the only answer he could come up with.
"I...don't know, Roy. I just don't know."
Yes, I'm predictable, so sue me. XP
My icon comm "I can't stand RoyxHughes (he's married and has a daughter!)"Popo: "Brace for Fushi! *cowers*"
Huge Maes Hughes fan. In fact I'm even the Maes Hughes of livejournal. Really. Look for me under "M"