HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
full metal alchemist
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Rough Comic Script, All scripts for the first story in first post.
Popogeejo
post Sep 28 2006, 08:04 AM
Post #1


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OK boys and girls, here be my crappy comic strip scripts. Inspired by a mix of Insomnia, seeing some "special" RoyxEd fanart and to much sitcoms. Anyone who wants to draw it is welcome (please say if you are though). Feel free to improve and play around with the script as well. Now colour coded for your convenience.

The basic premise is how I wanted Ed and Roys' reunion to go in Shambala.

What do you mean "Hi"?

Ed is transmuting a column towards Ecarts ship. Roy, in his Balloon, shows up next to him. Al is not there...he sucks tongue.gif .
Roy: Hello there, Fullmetal. I've been waiting for you!
Ed: Well if it isn't Colonel Sarcasm, lets go kick Ecart's ass once and for all!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Roy starts to look upset. Ed has stopped transmuting and is facing Roy.
Roy: What? Is that it? No "How are you?" or "What’s with your eye?" Not even "Nice to see you."?
Ed: I...I was trying to save Central...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Roy (now having hopped onto the column) looks angry and Ed sweat drops
Roy: It's always something else with you! What about me?
Ed: You’re scaring me man...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Close up of Roy, there's fire in his eyes (or however you want to show extreme anger)
Roy: TWO YEARS I waited in that freezing hell hole! I didn't even use Alchemy for you! I even gave up Riza for you!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ed's looking scared or uncomfortable.
Ed: Why the heck did you do all that? That’s crazy! Wait, your in love with me aren't you?

-------------------------------------------------------------

Cue the ol' cloud boarder with a Chibi Roy in the bottom corner. The cloud shows Roy worshipping at a shrine dedicated to Ed (or an Ed shaped statue)
Chibi Roy: ...Maybe.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ed: Boy, this is awkward. I...I was always into Winry ya see. You know, a female?
Roy: Oh..okay then...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Roy pointing angrily at Ed.
Roy: You will be mine one day, Fullmetal!


Jealousy and delusions. (Sounds like a crappy slash fic)

Ed and Winry are sharing a milkshake (or some kinda "Awww" type thing)

-------------------

Roy and Riza show up. Riza has hearts for eyes. She wuvs Roy!
Roy: Oh! hello Fullmetal, whatever could you be doing in the same place I'm on a date with Riza? Jealous?
Ed: Not really, I always thought you had been after Riza...until that incident. Good for you.
Roy: Damnit!

-------------------

Ed and Winry are out shopping. Who said romance was dead?

-------------------

Enter Roy accompanied by Havoc. Havoc look nervous, Roy has his arm around Havoc.
Roy: So we meet again Fullmetal. Did you know about me and Havoc? We're a couple now.
Havoc: Wait what!?! You said we were "Cruising for some Xing girls"....
Ed: This is getting old real fast. Give it up, Colonel.

--------------------

Ed and Winry are at the cinema.
Winry: Roy really seems to like you.
Ed: Yeah, it's kinda creepy. I'm only 16* and he's 30 something.

--------------------

It's that man again. This time with Al. Al appears to be tied up.
Roy: Greeting Fullmet-
Ed: Oh hell no!
Al: BROTHER!

----------------------

Ed is standing on his seat. Al is crying next to Winry.
Ed: What are you doing Roy? Al is like ten or something and he's strait...I think. He had his brain wiped of the last three years as well. Thats all kinds of wrong!
Winry: C'mon Al, we're leaving here.

---------------------

Roy is standing all by himself in the cinema. Roy is grinning.
Roy: He's Jealous...

IT'S OVER!

*Yeah, I know there’s a continuity error (Ed should be 18) but having him the age of consent took the fun away somewhat.

There is an extended version:
(This replaces the final panel)

Roy is standing alone in the cinema looking sad sad.gif
Roy: There must be someone to drive him wild....Ah ha!

-------------

It's Armstrong (shirtless of course) Roy has a huge (fake) smile. Ed and Winry are sharing a milkshake again
Roy (thought bubble): You've sunk lower before Roy, you've sunk lower....

Speculations on relations...(I swear, these titles get better everytime)

Roy is on his Computer (he has one, I swear!) Riza is watching (or reading) over his shoulder looking slightly jealous.
Roy: "Slowly Ed slid his Automail hand down Al’s back and squeezed his firm-" Geez that's your brother, dude!
Riza: Do you really think these fanfics will help you get that shrimp?

------------------

Roy is looking nervous, Riza has a drity grin.
Roy: "Mother, I just wanted to be with you.." Oh. My. God.
Riza: Wow, now that's a close family.

------------------

Roy looks slightly ill. Riza is taking notes.
Roy: No! Just no. Sloth, tentacles, asphyxiation. Who wrote this? Who is "Palm tree-fan"?

------------------

Roy is smiling, Riza looks jealous again
Roy: "Roy cupped Ed's cheek and..." finally something I can enjoy...

------------------

Roy is pure white, Riza is comforting him
*2 paragraphs later*
Roy: That is just disgusting. In his mouth and everything? WTF?

------------------

Envy is on another computer somewhere smiling evilly.
*Else where*
Envy: "As Ed squealed in pain Roy snapped his fingers again, the pain was exquisite..." I love witting these fanfics...


This really was comic #4. Honest.
Ed is having a meeting with Gluttony and Lust. When I say meeting, I mean fight.
Lust sends her razor like fingers swiping (it’s a word…) for Ed’s neck. He manages to duck underneath them, convert his Automail into a short sword blade and sends it through her stomach.

Lust: You think that can stop me with that short little thing, little man?
Ed…how can I put this with it sounding dirty? I can’t. Ed pulls his sword out of Lust (tee hee) and swings it across her throat. Gluttony (finally getting his rhythm) launches himself into Ed sending him flying across the room. Without missing a beat Gluttony belly flops Ed. Lust wonders over to them. As she does she extends one of her finger spikes and points inches above Ed’s eyes.
Lust: Well Fullmetal, looks like you’re finished….
At this point Lust becomes distracted. Partly down to her bust causing some balance issues but mostly because she was on fire.
Lust: Oh noes! (Replace with appropriate screaming noise)
Gluttony: LUST!
Reveal Roy. He snaps his fingers causing a blast that sends Lust crashing across the room (where this room is I do not know. It’s nicely furnished though).
Roy: What the hell are you doing to my Subordinate?
Gluttony raises himself and charges at Roy. Before Roy can act Gluttony sends a powerful punch to Roy’s side. Roy stumbles but manages to set the large Homunculus ablaze. Gluttony runs off like a little girl. (Yay sexism!)
Ed: …Thanks, Colonel.
Roy; What were you doing!?! Who were those people?
Ed: They were homunculi, I was trying to stop them killing me…call me crazy but I’m not ready to be a human pin cushion!
Roy: A likely story. Homunculi aren’t sexy…or female.
Ed: They were! Look at them!
Ed points at the two figures who are now brushing themselves and getting ready for another attack.
Roy; They‘re Homunculi! RUN!
Ed; Wait, wha-
Roy plucks up Ed and swiftly makes an exit while setting Lust and Gluttony on fire again.
Ed (heavy sarcasm): Oh boy, my Hero.
Roy: shut up! I’m doing my best!
Ed: No really, you’re so brave. I loved the bit when you ran away. Shame we didn’t film it and preserve it for our kids.
Roy: KIDS!?! You mean we’re going out?
Ed: Hell no! Now let me go, your hands are getting to south of the navel….
Roy; Fine! Nuts to you!
Roy drops Ed on the floor and runs off in tears. Ed sits on the floor looking confused for a bit. As he sits there he suddenly bursts into flames.
Roy: That’s for not thanking me, Jerk!


Head games (Not as dirty as it sounds…)
*Cloudy border of dreaminess should surround the panels if you feel so inclined. Roy is Dreaming after all.*
Roy and Hughes are having a drink at the Officers club, they've earned it.
Roy: So you know about me and Ed right?
Hughes; You mean how you're hopelessly in love with him while he hates you?
Roy: Hate is such a strong word...

Hughes is downing his drink, what a dude.
Roy; It's just that I'm having trouble showing him how wondrous I am. I was hoping you could give me some advice...
I mean look at me, I can control Fire! FIRE! How is that not the best thing ever?

Hughes turns to Roy. (They aren’t going to kiss. Sorry Yaoi fans)
Hughes: So you want me, your dead best friend, to help you get together with an under aged boy?
Roy: Pretty much.
Hughes: Why Ed anyway? Have you seen how he hugs his brother? That's not normal...
Roy; I don't care; I really feel something for him.

They both sip their drinks. I'm wearing a cow on head. You are transfixed.
Hughes: Fine. I'll help...Ever hear of reverse Psychology?
Roy; I sure have.

Refresh my memory.
Hughes: Basically you tell him to do one thing and he does the opposite
Roy: That's just simple enough to work! See you later, talking dead guy!

Roy awakens in bed with an evil grin. No more dreamy border If you were drawing said border.
Roy: Time to go to work...

THE NEXT DAY!

Ed and Roy are in the office, Roy has a "you must be this tall to Ride" sign that's just over Ed’s height"
Ed: Did you think this would honestly work?
Roy: Give it time....shorty!

New beginnings, new potential
Last time:
Roy has his sign "You must be this tall to ride." Ed looks pissed
Ed: Did you honestly think this would work?
Roy: Give it time shorty!

Now...

Roy still has his sign. Ed is hugging him! ZOMG WTF!?!
Ed: I give in! How can I resist you?
Roy: I ask myself that everyday...
Ed: I love you.

Enter Winry looking furious
Win: What the hell, Ed?
Ed: oh, Winry...I can explain, just don't do hurt me

Wrench + Winry + Anger = one hurt Ed.
Winry: MORON!

Winrys got Roy in her sights, run Roy, ruuuuun!
Roy: Winry, just admit it, the better man won.
Winry: You better start running, boy.

Winry slams Roy with the Wrench sending him flying out of the room and the country. She's been eating her greens, kids.

Winry rests Ed's head on her lap
Winry: Ed, talk to me.
Ed: What happened? Where am I?..I had the scariest dream. I and Roy were hugging :'( He had something I could resist...

Winry is holding the sign. Ed is hugging her. Aww <3
Winry: You mean this?
Ed: I...I love you!

Roy is face down in a place that resembles China
Roy: Ouch...where the hell did I land this time?

Roy looks up tiredly, he's seen something! his eyes Widen! What has he seen? (It's not Magical Trevor)

Ling is Standing over Roy, Ranfan can be seen behind him


Ling: And who might you be stranger?

Roy has hearts for eyes

(Man, I'm great at this romance stuff.)

Roy is hugging Ling's ankles
Roy: I'm the answer to all your dreams, sweetie.
Ling: Huzah! Ranfan, we have new "friend."

Ranfan looks pissed
Ranfan; Woopdy f<BLEEP>king doo.

3 WEEKS LATER

Ed and Winry are in the auto mail shop, sharing a milk shake (again, they must really like them). Pinako (and Den) are watching from the door smiling. (Not in a creepy, stalker way…)

Close up of Pinako
Pinako{thinking}: If he thinks he sleeping in her room I'll rip his other arm and leg right off...

Roy and Ling are in bed. Roy is smoking a cig, Ling looks slightly upset
Ling: Are...are you sure this will make me immortal?
Roy: Shut up baby, daddies tired.

Ranfan is practising with her sword in a Bamboo forest
Ranfan{thinking}: One day, Roy. One day soon....

Ranfan swings her sword in a wide arc. A second later a wide area of Bamboo falls down, sliced by the sword (The Matrix has nothing on me!)

A TWIST ENDING!
Havoc and Armstrong are in Bed. Armstrong is asleep and Havoc looks scared
Havoc: This doesn’t even begin to make sense!


Thanks to the Awesomeness of Fushigi Rockna and DarkHaze we now have some completed versions:

Fushigi Rockna’s rendition of this first script can be found here.

DarkHazes rendition of my 3rd script can be found here.
They are both awesome and deserve much praise, if not a cult. (Make a cult!)

Thanks to all who've foolishly wasted there time reading these,
Much thanks to those who enjoyed these,
Even more thanks to those who hated these but didn't say smile.gif My Confidence is great full,
And a huge thanks to me for being so awesome. tongue.gif


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DarkHaze
post Sep 30 2006, 10:32 AM
Post #2


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haha he gave up Riza O_O
o.o I wanna draw this >_>


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Untitled
post Sep 30 2006, 11:22 PM
Post #3


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O_O laugh.gif Well, that's something bad for Royai fans like me but.. It made me laugh happy.gif It's fanfic-ish for me happy.gif


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ed's numbuh ...
post Oct 1 2006, 12:24 AM
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laugh.gif heh very amusing. I have the sudden urge to draw it too though.... mellow.gif


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000_neji
post Oct 1 2006, 01:29 AM
Post #5


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I can't wait for the comic to be drawn...Popo,nice work...


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Popogeejo
post Oct 1 2006, 07:46 AM
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QUOTE(ed's numbuh 1 fan @ Oct 1 2006, 08:24 AM) [snapback]453540[/snapback]

laugh.gif heh very amusing. I have the sudden urge to draw it too though.... mellow.gif


Nobodies stopping you. I don't intend on drawing it (I have zero artisic ability) so whoever wants a whack at it is fully welcome.

Thanks guys smile.gif


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ScarMySoul
post Oct 1 2006, 04:36 PM
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QUOTE
Roy starts to look upset. Ed has stopped transmuting and is facing Roy.
Roy: What? Is that it? No "How are you?" or "Whats with your eye?" Not even "Nice to see you."?
Ed: I...I was trying to save Central...


This was my favorite part. I like it, and I hope you add more too it.

cool.gif


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Popogeejo
post Oct 1 2006, 05:09 PM
Post #8


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If anything I find funny strikes me I will. Maybe I should watch more crappy soap operas...


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Ting
post Oct 1 2006, 11:17 PM
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This is hilarious! I love it!

*takes out fineliner and start drawing on paper*

QUOTE
Roy: TWO YEARS I waited in that freezing hell hole! I didn't even use Alchemy for you!
I even gave up Riza for you!



--------------------
hito wa nanika no gisei nashi ni, nani mo eru koto wa dekinai.
nanika wo eru tame ni wa, doutou no daika ga hitsuyou ni naru.
sore ga, renkinjutsu ni okeru "toukakoukan" no gensoku da.
sono koro, bokura wa sore ga sekai no shinjitsu da to shinjiteita.

Humankind can not get anything without first giving something in return.
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is Alchemy's first law of equlivant exchange.
In those days, we really believed that to be the world’s one and only truth.


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Chiyo
post Oct 6 2006, 11:49 AM
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Haha sorry I didn't read this sooner.

'You know, a female'

I do hope to see this in comic form soon, shall be quite amusing.


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Popogeejo
post Oct 6 2006, 12:29 PM
Post #11


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QUOTE(Chiyo @ Oct 6 2006, 07:49 PM) [snapback]455792[/snapback]

I do hope to see this in comic form soon, shall be quite amusing.


Well I do hope some folks draw these. I have no art ability when it comes to multi panel comics.

Anyway:

Holy smokes, another crappy script!

For absolutely no reason the ending of the film didn't happen. Why? Because it suits me tongue.gif

Jealousy an dillusions. (Sounds like a crappy slash fic)

Ed and Winry are sharing a milkshake (or some kinda "Awww" type thing)

-------------------

Roy and Riza show up. Riza has hearts for eyes. She wuvs Roy!
Roy: Oh! hello Fullmetal, whatever could you be doing in the same place I'm on a date with Riza? Jealous?
Ed: Not really, I always thought you had been after Riza...untill that incident. Good for you.
Roy: Damnit!

-------------------

Ed and Winry are out shopping. Who said romance was dead?

-------------------

Enter Roy accompnied by Havoc. Havoc look nervous, Roy has his arm around Havoc.
Roy: So we meet again Fullmetal. Did you know about me and Havoc? We're a couple now.
Havoc: Wait, what!?! You said we were "Cruising for some Xing girls"....
Ed: This is getting old real fast. Give it up, Colonel.

--------------------

Ed and Winry are at the cinema.
Winry: Roy really seems to like you.
Ed: Yeah, it's kinda creepy. I'm only 16* and he's 30 something.

--------------------

It's that man again. This time with Al. Al appears to be tied up.
Roy: Greeting Fullmet-
Ed: Oh hell no!
Al: BROTHER!

----------------------

Ed is standing on his seat. Al is crying next to Winry.
Ed: What are you doing Roy. Al is like ten or something and he's strait...I think. He had his brain wiped of the last three years aswell. Thats all kinds of wrong!
Winry: C'mon Al, we're leaving here.

---------------------

Roy is standing all by himself in the cinema. Roy is grinning.
Roy: He's Jealous...

IT'S OVER!


*Yeah, I know theres a continuity error (Ed should be 18) but having him the age of consnet took the fun away somewhat.

There is an extended version:
(this replaces the final panel)

Roy is standing alone in the cinema looking sad sad.gif
Roy: There must be someone to drive him wild....Ah ha!

-------------

It's Armstrong (shirtless ofcourse) Roy has a huge (fake) smile. Ed and Winry are sharing a milkshake again
Roy (thought bubble): You've sunk lower before Roy, you've sunk lower....


I'm not sure it would have the right pace when comined with the "He's jealous" panels. It would also have an odd ammount of panles...

Feel free to doodle this yourselves. If you do I'd love to see them.


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DarkHaze
post Oct 6 2006, 05:20 PM
Post #12


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That was great. I like it better than first one



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Shura-San
post Oct 10 2006, 05:40 PM
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Its really funny! you should use thatn in a shounen ai comic er sumthin


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Popogeejo
post Oct 10 2006, 05:42 PM
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QUOTE(Silver Demon @ Oct 11 2006, 01:40 AM) [snapback]458025[/snapback]

Its really funny! you should use thatn in a shounen ai comic er sumthin


Whoever want to use the scripts (and draw them) is free to aslong as I'm given writting credits.


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Popogeejo
post Oct 12 2006, 09:25 AM
Post #15


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Double post for Alah (blessed be his name)!

HEY LISTEN!

If you don't help me you're a terrorist! mad.gif wink.gif

EDIT
Darn terrorists! tongue.gif
In other comic related news there may be another comic soonish. Don't count on it though.


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