HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
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The Fuehrer's Daughter, Sequel to My Childhood Playmate
shardypsykoelf
post Apr 27 2005, 03:27 PM
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WARNING!!! The following story contains spoilers for ending of the series and possibly the ending of the movie (but because the movie is not out yet, we're not sure how that ends). Think of it as my own little post-movie theory.

The main characters are also my original characters. Don't like it? Don't read.



Title: The Fuehrer's Daughter
Pairing: Implied OC/OC, Ed/Winry
Rating: PG-13 for language, violence, mild sexual themes
Genre: Action/Adventure

-Summery-

13-year-old Evan Rockbell always believed that his father, Felix, had died shortly before he was born. Attending the Elric School of Alchemy, a prestigious academy built in honor of the famous Elric Brothers, Evan is at the top of his class. However, his advanced abilities start rather disturbing rumors, one of which that he could somehow be related to the esteemed Edward Elric. And what’s even more disturbing is that the rumors are not far from the truth for, looking at photos in his text books, Evan sees that he not only possesses the same valued alchemy skills but the blonde hair and lack of growth hormones. He goes on a search of his own, and finding old letters in his mother’s attic from Edward confirms his suspicions that his mother, Winry, knew him.

Life changes for Evan the night Edward stops by the house. Eavesdropping on the conversation between Edward and Winry, Evan learns two shocking revelations: one, that this guy is not who he says he is for the real Edward Elric seems to have disappeared some thirteen years ago; and two, Evan really is the son of the Fullmetal Alchemist!

Outraged that the truth of his heritage had been hidden from him, Evan runs away from home, only to get hopelessly lost…and learns that his real father is somewhere in Amestris still very much alive.




***

Prologue

***

The day he returned to their lives started out with no unique significance from any other day of the year. Eighteen years old, Clause Nicholson had been newly married to Michael for the past three months…much to the shock of the gang she used to hang around with six years previous. While she was no longer as rambunctious as she used to be, hints of her tomboyish nature still lingered such as her dark hair that hardly extended past her jaw-line. And, of course, she much preferred pants to dresses.

She believed she became more true to herself after they showed up; the pip-squeak alchemist and his walking trash can. Because of them, her village and her own life had been spared. She hardly remembered anything particular from back then, but that one single night was still etched in her memory with every vivid detail.

It almost made her wish she had been a little nicer to those boys.

The smaller one especially. What was his name again? Ed, right? Edward? Something like that, she was sure.

She giggled to herself while carrying this week’s milk back to the house. So tiny, even smaller than herself though they had been the same age. She could distinctively recall how angry he used to become whenever a reference was made to his height…or lack thereof. The way those sharp eyes would blaze with topaz fury. She had often wondered if she would ever see him again.

Glancing upward, Clause increased her pace. Winter had barely melted away into spring yet, so the nights still descended quickly. The path to the village was safe enough on most days, but who knew what lurked within the surrounding forest after dark.

She froze in her tracks when she noticed something lying in the grass just off the path’s edge. Approaching the bundle cautiously, she realized with a start that it looked to be a human body. Closer inspection revealed that the clothes and body build obviously belonged to a man.

Ignoring nags of foreboding as she always did, Clause set the milk jar down on the path and hurried over to the person. “Hey, mister!” she cried, leaning over him and turning him onto his back. “You okay?”

He definitely looked worse for wear, long blonde hair falling about his head and shoulders in a wild disarray in defiance to the bonds of his ponytail. She was relieved to see that he was still breathing. There were no wounds upon his body that looked to have come from a weapon, though he had several cuts and scrapes. His white shirt was halfway unbuttoned, and Clause could see a strange design upon the skin. Her blue eyes narrowed a little to see it closer as the design began to do something strange.


It looked almost as if it were glowing. Then, as she continued to watch in stunned fascination, the design began to fade until nothing was left but unmarked flesh. It was then that the strange man opened his eyes.

“Where…where am I?” he breathed, blinking a few times to focus.

Clause gasped silently. Those eyes! Twin bright orbs of sharp gold. “E…Ed?” she whispered in utter disbelief.

He peered up at her. “Who?” he inquired, brows furrowing with unfamiliarity.

“Edward,” she said again. “It’s me…remember me? I’m Clause. The girl who’s village you saved from Majhal. Don’t you remember?”

His eyes narrowed as he sat up slowly, steadying himself on his hands. She stared down at them. They were both human. Didn’t Ed have one made of metal? Of course, she herself never saw it; only heard rumors about that from the other villagers. Besides, it had been a long time ago anyway.

“I don’t remember,” he spoke up, jarring Clause from her thoughts. He was staring off into the darkness, eyes wide with unspoken terror. “There’s nothing…nothing but that bright light…nothing before…nothing after…that light…”

“Ed…?” she repeated.

He stared at her. “Is that me? Is that who I am?” He turned his stare down to his hands. Something fleeted across his mind as he stared at the palms. The left one was covered with calluses from an obviously rough lifetime, but the right…the right was as new and unmarked as the flesh of a newborn. “Why?” he breathed. “Why don’t I--?”

He was visibly trembling and buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking violently as he began to sob.

“Why don’t I remember anything!?!”


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Chiyo
post Apr 27 2005, 03:33 PM
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Ok Shardy, I don't know what you think you are doing...

...but I'm so glad you are. I knew you wouldn't leave us all confused like that, or that upset. Hurrah for you!!!!!

This is interesting indeed, I hope this isn't going to be as long as My Childhood Playmate, or if it is, don't take as long to complete it!

(Joke, I'll be patient).


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Mortari
post Apr 27 2005, 03:44 PM
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That is so freaking awesome! You know shardy, you never fail to amaze me. Good job! ph34r.gif


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Saturn Stars
post Apr 27 2005, 03:46 PM
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*Breathless* and absoloutley jumping for joy over the fact you decided to do a sequel. I can tell this is going to be very worthy! Love it so far. Love it!


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darkangelslayer
post Apr 27 2005, 03:47 PM
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WHOOO HOOO!!

I was so sad when 'My Childhood Playmate' ended. I was thinking to myself 'What am I going to do after school'( I would usually run home and check if you updated).

But now I'm happy again!!


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Hikusa Rockgirl ...
post Apr 27 2005, 05:13 PM
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OMG OMG OMG *W*
SEQUEL!!!
*dances xD*
this are going to be very interesting :0!!
*-------* if winry finds out that Ed returned she'll hit him with her wrench and maybe he will remember everything!!! >x> *kidding xD;*
waii~ *waits for updates o.o;;*


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Poptart
post Apr 27 2005, 06:12 PM
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GNEEE! SHARDY, YOU ROCK!

*dances around living room like a madwoman*

Thank you SO much for deciding to do a sequel! My day has just become brighter by the minute, hasn't it?

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shardypsykoelf
post Apr 27 2005, 08:38 PM
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Oh, yay! People like this! biggrin.gif I wasn't sure as not very many people are thrilled with reading OC centered stories. I promise to try my best.

Creating "official" artwork for the fics, both MCP and FD. Here is the first edition. It'll be merged with my other FMA artwork as it's best for me to have just one thread in the fanart section. Less confusing. ^^;;


Evan Elric


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RogueAlchemist
post Apr 27 2005, 08:42 PM
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Squee! Continuation is a wonderful thing.
*plunks down Dr. Pepper for the inestimable Shardy*


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sweetums
post Apr 28 2005, 12:49 AM
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O-O
This is awsome...
I KNEW you wouldn't leave us in the dust with your other Fanfik!
Three 'Huzzas' For Shardy!!!!
Hip Hip Huzza!!!!!
Hip Hip Huzza!!!!!
Hip Hip Huzza!!!!!


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hagane_no_tokage
post Apr 28 2005, 02:34 AM
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*sigh* okay, first of all... before i get going, i do want to start by commending you on your spelling and grammar (tho...'summary' is the correct spelling for a rundown of a plot...not 'summery', which is an adjective describing the season, which i don't think you were going for). the technical work of your writing is actually mostly correct and rather refreshing in that respect...

...but i do have to lodge a complaint for the content. not because you are writing an OC...i love making up my own characters. i have to complain for the overall logic, science, physics, and characterizations you've got going here--or rather, lack thereof? i stayed quiet during MCP, but now that you've started a sequel, i'm voicing my concerns. i'll go back to MCP later, right now, i feel the need to nip this one in the bud.

erm, the first thing that grabbed my eye was...you misspelled "Führer". While 'fuehrer' is not exactly an unacceptable spelling, seeing as how the umlaut is not a true english character and is often seen as 'ue' in exchange, the official adaptation into english is "Fuhrer", sans the second 'e'. but i can let that pass and chalk it up to me just being anal retentive when it comes to the english language. microsoft word accepts it...so i suppose i'll have to as well.

the second thing that grabbed my attention was actually the fanart of evan... before i stumbled upon this, i noticed you had posted fanart...and i had to scratch my head at your rendition of the lad. given the genetics involved, it is nigh physically impossible for ed and winry's child to have apple-green eyes. eye color doesn't mix like acrylic paint, sweetheart, there's a lot of genetics and science involved. i won't confound everyone with all the gritty details...but seeing as how hohenheim's eyes were gold and trisha's were dark blue-green, one must assume that gold (while not a present in our world) is a mainly dominant gene in eye color. being that we don't even know that hohenheim had parents at any point, considering what he is...we can probably assume his eye genes are Gold/Gold. blue is recessive, therefore trisha's genes probably consist of blues and greens, and since they are so dark, i would throw a brown into the equation somewhere in her ancestry. let's say she's blue/Green, just for fun. this passes the dominant Gold/Gold to ed, since his eyes are the same shade as hohenheim's. now winry's absolutely nordic, with that flaxen hair and those ice-blue eyes? she's all blue genes (no pun intended), no question about it. blue/blue all the way. therefore, with ed's Gold/Gold/blue/Green and winry's blue x 4 gene-makeup, it is physically impossible for the offspring to have absolutely green eyes like you've demonstrated. in fact, it's unlikely the blue and green genes will show up much at all with the dominant gold genes in there. scientifically, there is a 50% chance of gold, 25% of blue, and 25% of blue-green. but straight green just ain't happenin', dear...

and while we're on the subject of the fanart...uh, what, precisely, is up with the Cloud Strife sword? O_o i read your explanation of how he changes a dagger into the ginormous monstrosity he's carrying in the image...but, i feel i must again speak on behalf of the scientific community and state: THAT IS RIDICULOUS. the average dagger blade is about 6" long. how precisely do you turn a 6" blade into sanosuke's zanbatou? O_o you say it's because the steel is folded and compressed... but, dear, do you realize how heavy that would have to be to even be close to enough material for a sword bigger than a person? even if it's made of automail material, that's still metal, it's still steel. even fine-spun and thousand folded steel for the most traditionally ceremonial of katana--the finest swords in the world...to turn 6"--hell, i'll give you 12" or 16", that still counts as dagger-length in some systems--into a 6' weapon...is impossible. even with his father's talents, even with folded compressed steel in the dagger... you would have to have the equivalent of a bowling ball stuffed into a ball bearing. he wouldn't be able to lift the dagger for the sheer density of it, much less do anything with it... carry it? it'd rip his clothes off! and let's say it did work...to make a weapon that size, the metal would be stretched so thin...it would be like having a papier-mâché sword, or a balloon wrapped in tinfoil. you could step on it and crush it... it just isn't feasible, dear. he'd do more damage to the weapon than the enemy if he swung it. remember that the entire backbone of the hagaren storyline is based on science...which, i'm sorry to say, doesn't really seem to be a strong suit in this fanfic series.

now, onto more pressing, relevant matters. i really have no complaints content-wise thus far in this little sequel... i can believe the clause you have characterized...and even tho ed seems a tad...er...basketcase-y? i'll forgive it on account of he's just had a bit of a traumatic experience. but what does worry me...is where i fear this is going. the Führer's daughter, eh? let's see...i can see one of two possibilities here. one being that you've given bradley some random unknown-about female child that was never seen/mentioned in the series. O_o well that just doesn't really make much sense to begin with, but i've seen worse ideas.

what i'm really thinking you've got in mind is, oh, my, have you cast roy in the role of Führer? but, see, there's one small problem with that... the military collapsed at the end of the series, remember? it was taken over by a parliament system to quell the fear of the masses that the militant forces had gained too much power. there is no Führer anymore, the position no longer exists, in the first place. that isn't how a Parliament works, didn't you pay attention in civics class?

let's base the Amestris parliament on, say, the parliamental system of the UK, Australia, and Canada. a parliament is run under a Prime Minister or a Queen, and then two houses, (senate and house of representatives, or i believe in the UK it's a house of lords and a house of commons). when a law is made, it has to be accepted in both houses and then by the representative of the queen or PM before it can become an act of the parliament. now, let's look at said queen and PM... the closest thing to a Führer in a parliamental system would be the Prime Minister. but the role of the PM versus the role of the daisoutou is extremely different. in a military system, the Führer fought with the rest of them...he got his hands dirty, and while he was heavily guarded at all times, he probably put his life on the line many many times. whereas the PM and queen in a parliament system are much more figureheads than they are fighting cornerstones for their people. much like the president of the US, they sit at a desk and do paperwork and give press conferences and basically tell us what we want to hear.

...do you think that sounds like roy mustang? hell no! what on earth would he do with a job like that? he hates paperwork, he couldn't sit at his desk all day if his life depended on it, and for cryin' out loud, can you envision riza hawkeye as the queen mum? the whole reason roy wanted to be the Führer in the first place was so he would be in a position where he wouldn't have to follow the foolish orders of his superiors anymore... but if he becomes Prime Minister...he not only loses his mobility, his privacy, and his ability to make a difference physically with his own two hands... he loses something much worse: his pride and dignity as a soldier. sure, he acts like a slacker, but can you envision him sitting through conferences and meeting with the house of commons and placating the masses over some cheesy radio system like cornello used? of course not!! he would be bored out of his everloving mind as the figurehead of a parliamental system. he would never see battle again, he would lose the image of the life he had created for himself thus far and--while he might actually get that miniskirt amendment passed--he would never survive in such a diplomatic and stuffed-shirt world, that's just not his bag. roy's not a fool (most of the time). he's a smooth talker, a ladies' man, and a well-oiled finagler. don't you see the position he would be putting himself in that way? it doesn't make sense. when all he wanted was to make up for the sins he had been ordered to commit in the past, can you see him setting himself up the way, say, Bush Jr has, to be beaten with egg and stomped on by the boots of accusation? i~ don't think so.

but, even if i give you that as a simple overlook (i don't expect everyone to know the finer workings of governmental specifications), oh please dear god tell me you're not about to create a lovely (green-eyed?) daughter by hakweye and mustang and have her fall madly in love with evan. no, no, no, i just won't have it.

i can't speak for what you have in mind...nor do i really presume to... all i can say is, there are many things about where this seems to be headed that are already deeply flawed, and we're only at the prologue. maybe i'm getting ahead of myself. perhaps there is some big, exciting, scientific explanation for why everything is happening the way it is... but from your 'summery' and what we have here already? it seems unlikely to me.

your technical work is good...but you've got a long way to go before your artistic, logistic, and scientific points catch up.


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Chiyo
post Apr 28 2005, 03:53 AM
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*blows rasberry at tokage*

Perfectionist biggrin.gif


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*Flame Alchemist...
post Apr 28 2005, 04:29 AM
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[B]Thank god your making a sequel i probably would have killed myself if your didn't (lol)! So far so good can't wait till you put up more posts Shardy u rock. You have mad skills at writing nice job. Hope the sequel either matches or surpasses the original! Yours Truly,
The Flame Alchemist[/COLOR]


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History is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. -Gundam Wing Endless Waltz


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Saturn Stars
post Apr 28 2005, 04:41 AM
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Whoa, whoa, whoa there!

I know that it all may be the case. But most of us on the boards here are extremely enjoying this story, and the fact it doesn’t add up doesn’t matter. Do I have to remind you about the huge gaping plot holes in FMA? I bet you still enjoyed it anyway. The plot holes where the characters aren’t developed properly, they all come to life from some 'terrible past they have had' it isn't original, the only way we relate to them in some form is the fact they have all been traumatized along the line somewhere.

Takes deep breath, okay number two plot hole in fma: An ugly one too. It seems Bones couldn't decide how old they wanted their boys to be. The information they give in the first half of the series for the boys ages is in NO WAY consistent with the information they give in the second half of the series (it's not mathematically possible, since the boys have to be one year apart between Feb 2 (episode 1; 10 & 11) and Oct 3 (episode 3; 10 & 11) of any given year). Ed's birthday must be the end of January for this to happen (October (plus) Gracia's 3,1/2 remaining pregnancy months (episode 5) (equals) End of January or Feb 1). In order for the boys to be a year apart for 9 months, Al's birthday has to fall in November, December or January; and at some point in time the boys will be the same age (because Ed's b-day is so close to Feb 2). In episode 6, just after Ed's 12th birthday, the boys ages are listed again as 11 and 12 to confirm the accuracy of those times (I doubt little more than a month has passed between Ed's b-day and the Qualification Exam because Nina was in her winter coat and there's still snow on the ground).

By episode 10, the boys are 14 and 15 again. In episode 23, Ed has his birthday - which means he turns 16. So sometime in the 3 months prior to that, Al had to have turned 15 in order for them to be a year apart between Feb 2 and Oct 3. This never happens. Still, in episode 32 (obviously a summer episode), Al is 14. Even at the end of the whole SERIES, Al is still 14 because of the "4 years" of lost memories. There's no way that works...

If you look at it, that is hell of one fu*ked up mathematical procedure they went through there, interesting.

And of course, FMA's 'alternate universe thing… um… explain that with science, it's a totally overused plot line and it doesn’t make any sense at all

The gate does completely different things to Ed every time he goes through it. First time it takes an arm and a leg, second time it ends up sending him to London in some boy’s body. Third time he gets taken back to Amestris, after a freaking Zeppelin has fallen on him, and he apparently can't use alchemy. But he actually can because of some crap about his body not 'crossing the gate' He then gets taken back perfectly, his metal arm and leg are given back to him which means they would have had to be floating around in the gate somewhere... like the helll???

I'm sure there are many other things I can point out, but I wont. Because I am not trying to be rude to my superior Tokage... I really am not. I just wanted to let you know that FMA is an anime, an anime I repeat. Completely fantasy (yet involves science... if you can callllll it that) Shardy's fic, is a fan fiction, we enjoy it. I find it beautifully creative; no-one has done this stuff before.

As for the Fuhrer stuff... well that's up to her to work out, but it's not going to kill to read it. It will be enjoyable and I am sure of that. Besides... Shardy may have a logical answer to everything.

But it is a brilliant fic, I am sure everyone will agree with me. Even you Tokage, it's not like you want her to end it or anything. So let's just enjoy what little bit of the FMA world Shardy creates for us! Cause I will, I will!

Saturn Stars

Chiyo is my big sis, my big sis really likes this fic. Shardy is my big sis's big sis! I will defend. (And I didn't mean to offend) God how lame do I sound? Forgive me

Look up fma plot holes in google, I'm sure you will find thousands. 'Mmm, good Idea I might just go do that!)


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<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>~*~Lialiakicks' evil parter in crime~*~</span>
*Yukina_Raven's lil sis* *Chiyo's lil sis* My big sisters rock!
Taken Away EdxWinxRozexWin? Lost in Your Heaven EdxWin... er... WinxMunichAl? (It's up to your imagination lol) EdxWinry 100 Themes Uh yeah that's EdxWin Someone Who Cares For Me EdxWin... again... Manga Related? Stand Up and Walk Forward Umm yes... EdxWin His Gift *Cough* Edxwin *Cough* Manga related? First Kiss [Edxwin] Nah really saturn Stars? Let me tell you... if fluff could kill... *Manga, Chapter 48 related*
Above is my army of Edxwin fics... lol enjoy!
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*Flame Alchemist...
post Apr 28 2005, 05:06 AM
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No offense but i want to see Mustang fight Ed or Evan please please.


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History is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. -Gundam Wing Endless Waltz


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