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Teen Sex (excluding Married Teens For This Discussion), Acceptable Or Not, And At What Age?, Shall we provide sex-ed? If so, at what age?
Edward Cardinal ...
post Jul 15 2010, 01:11 AM
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I find it truly surprising (and disheartening) how vehemently the overwhelming number of respondents in this thread express support for "sex education" within the school system. I would think it to be merely common sense for such a controversial and debated topic to be kept out of the realm of public education. While it seems that many support the inclusion of such classes in schools on the basis of providing purely factual matter on the topic of sexual intercourse, such arguments fail to recognize the reality that some individuals object to the content presented in most sex education courses on the basis of morality. Simply by presenting instructional content relating to contraception and the like, educational systems tacitly present certain moral and ethical viewpoints to school children. I believe (and hope) that most individuals would agree with me that the public education system has no business in instructing pupils regarding controversial moral issues.

The points that I have presented above lead to a single conclusion. Parents, as the primary educators of their children, should be the ones to discuss topics relating to sex education with their children. Parents alone should be empowered to decide what sex-related content is proper to present to their children. The public educational system, as a State run institution, ought not to interfere with parents' rights to instruct their children regarding issues of moral significance. While some will inevitably point out the issues of public health which surround the topic of sex education, this concern is moot as the issue of freedom vastly outweighs this (fairly wrongheaded) argument.

As to the topic of the proper age for teen sexual activity, I really do not care much to address this issue as stated. I believe that there is solely one proper forum for any and all sexual activity, and this state really isn't tied to any particular age, per say. I support current American law which sets the age of consent at 18, as I believe that this statute has been constructed to protect children from dangerous predators. It is a shame that modern commercialism and so called "liberalism" seeks to sexualize children at an ever younger age, and I think that it is about time that society stands up to protect the young from this manner of corruption.




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Hagaren_4ever
post Jul 15 2010, 06:44 AM
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I was raised in the Southeastern U.S. The "Bible Belt" as it is so commonly nicknamed. Here we don't have much sex education beyond abstinence. Really, that's just about the only option they explore. They try to say "Oh, it's because it's the only way to keep from getting an STD" or "It's the only way to not get pregnant". *sigh* They even go so far as to tell us that condoms do not work. And so, with that logic in our minds, kid have sex WITHOUT protection because "a condom wouldn't have worked anyway". I'm not making this up. Ugh, this is an increasingly difficult topic to talk about.

Being from an extremely devout family, I was never ALOUD to go to sex education classes until high school. I had to sit in class with the 2 other kids with extremely uptight parents and quite frankly, although I had a bit of an idea, I didn't even know what sex WAS until 8th grade. *sigh* Thank god I left the church.
^My point here is that I don't know much about sex education, all I know is the classes I had in high school, so I don't have much of an opinion either way on that point.

Now. On to the topic at hand of teen sex. I think that it's just something that we need to except. As long as the sun rises every morning, teenagers will be having sex. It's a fact of life. So, I think our attention has to be at teaching teen SAFE sex. And for god's sake, let them know that birth control works, and that condoms can also protect against STDs! Argh! Georgia education systems, just.... AGH!


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jacksparrow589
post Jul 15 2010, 07:45 AM
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Edward Cardinal Elric--I don't know about other schools or school systems, but I do know that at least in 5th or 6th grade, we had an opt-out policy for sex-ed, and some parents took it. Also, I don't feel that we were being taught that having sex in our teen years (let alone before marriage) is okay. Quite the opposite, in fact, as I attended a Catholic school. You're going to get morality any way you go, and, personally, I don't mind hearing things from someone else's viewpoint. (Mind you, I'm not trying to say you're narrow-minded at all. I'm inserting all these "personally"-type caveats because I can speak only for myself.)

I've talked to my mom and dad, and at least in their formative years, adults simply didn't talk about sex with their children because it was a "dirty secret", and some of my friends (though in the minority now) have had the same experience. I agree that parents should definitely be involved in their children's education, whatever the subject matter, and that it is very important for parents and children to have open lines of communication, but, in my experience, it has sometimes been easier to ask a question to an adult with whom I have no contact outside of school.

Kids will be kids. Predators will be predators. Sadly, the age of consent (and the letter of the law in general) isn't a consideration to those who break it. Teen sex isn't an issue that's just cropped up in recent years--it's almost always been there. But now that the issue has become more publicized, I think teens are less willing to talk with their parents about it out of embarrassment. I'd rather that they get some education than none at all, and if parents and kids won't talk, at least getting questions answered by a certified educator will allow for more informed decisions.

Should parents speak with their children about sex? I say yes without hesitation. Should kids have someone else to go to for information if, for whatever reason, they can't speak with their parents? Again, yes without a doubt.


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Night Watcher Al...
post Jul 15 2010, 11:12 AM
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I say u 3 have some points. Here, though, we do not have these courses which is why, to the day, I have seen more than 5 high school students drop out.

Edward Cardinal Elric- I agree that parents should be the ones to guild young minds, however, the way I see it is that, at least here, some parents push the topic too much, making people rebel, or some just don't care because they did the same thing. It's a shame, but you really have to keep in mind that not all parents have the same opinion on the matter...

Hagaren_4ever- We know this. It's a sad truth that teens will have sex before marriage if they choose, but if one ever looked at why, then maybe it might go down.....with how bad it seems to be getting, it's kinda scary...

jacksparrow598- Once again, we seem to be in agreement; not everyone can turn to their parents, but it's a good place to start. If not their parents then someone they can truly rely on...I would hope not one of their friends, simply because you don't know what they'll say; they may just encourage it.

Whether with or against teen sex, it's okay to at least know of the dangers, and, like said, depending on one's environment, you never know what will happen...


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Broken Chouchou
post Jul 15 2010, 12:23 PM
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QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Jul 15 2010, 08:12 PM) *
It's a sad truth that teens will have sex before marriage if they choose


It's not a sad truth. It's an objective fact. Everyone doesn't have the same beliefs as you do, so please don't express yours like factual statements.


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Night Watcher Al...
post Jul 21 2010, 06:32 PM
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@Broken chouchou- Sorry if it seemed as such. Simply what I wanted to say was what it was in my eyes.

I find it sad that most teens do this early because, in my eyes, it's a way of writing "For Sale" right on their foreheads...*sigh* I try to get how the intimidation works, but I don't know, really.


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Disasterpiece
post Jul 21 2010, 10:13 PM
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In my observations, teen sex is wrong on a personal and moral level. In high school for me, it always seemed like a rite of passage to be accepted. I wasn't going to compromise my morals for acceptance, screw that.

My opinion is this: it seems wasted if you have sex, a sacred and truly special intimate act between two people if a boyfriend and girlfriend or a "hookup" do it and then they break up like months later or something like that. Then the cycle repeats. I don't really like that..makes things complicated.

If I want sex I'd want it with someone I'd spend the rest of my life with, marriage or not.


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Chiyo
post Jul 22 2010, 01:58 AM
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Disasterpiece - who enters a relationship thinking "this won't work out?". You may get together and think it will last forever but very rarely does this happen with the first love of your life. Sex is a natural instinct, as a species we wish to live on, and sometimes that overcomes what we think we should be doing/not doing.


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Night Watcher Al...
post Jul 22 2010, 07:24 AM
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QUOTE (Disasterpiece @ Jul 21 2010, 11:13 PM) *
In my observations, teen sex is wrong on a personal and moral level. In high school for me, it always seemed like a rite of passage to be accepted. I wasn't going to compromise my morals for acceptance, screw that.

My opinion is this: it seems wasted if you have sex, a sacred and truly special intimate act between two people if a boyfriend and girlfriend or a "hookup" do it and then they break up like months later or something like that. Then the cycle repeats. I don't really like that..makes things complicated.

If I want sex I'd want it with someone I'd spend the rest of my life with, marriage or not.


I'm glad you see it this way Disasterpiece, but Chiyo has a point! No teen enters a relationship thinking it won't work. A lot of them think it will, and some don't know, but none do it with those thoughts. I set my morals to be as such, but truly, I don't believe anybody truly knows the dangers of going passed these morals until they've experienced it; this I've seen several times, and yet I still meet people who find out for themselves....


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Disasterpiece
post Jul 31 2010, 08:47 PM
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QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Jul 22 2010, 08:24 AM) *
QUOTE (Disasterpiece @ Jul 21 2010, 11:13 PM) *
In my observations, teen sex is wrong on a personal and moral level. In high school for me, it always seemed like a rite of passage to be accepted. I wasn't going to compromise my morals for acceptance, screw that.

My opinion is this: it seems wasted if you have sex, a sacred and truly special intimate act between two people if a boyfriend and girlfriend or a "hookup" do it and then they break up like months later or something like that. Then the cycle repeats. I don't really like that..makes things complicated.

If I want sex I'd want it with someone I'd spend the rest of my life with, marriage or not.


I'm glad you see it this way Disasterpiece, but Chiyo has a point! No teen enters a relationship thinking it won't work. A lot of them think it will, and some don't know, but none do it with those thoughts. I set my morals to be as such, but truly, I don't believe anybody truly knows the dangers of going passed these morals until they've experienced it; this I've seen several times, and yet I still meet people who find out for themselves....


There are so many consequences from teen sex, and I'm not talking about pregnancy. I'm talking about STDs and other things, no matter how careful you are. I've even heard my friend brag about how he screwed 3 girls in a week and wanted to have a three way with his girlfriend and other girl. The girlfriend (ex now) and I have become friends the past few months and she broke up with him for that reason: that he wanted a three way.

I've also seen it firsthand ruin relationships because of cheating. I've seen friends split apart over sex with others and it was nasty. Friends of boyfriends and girlfriends pitted against each other.

I want a serious relationship where sex is not an integral part. I want to avoid all that crap.


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Night Watcher Al...
post Jul 31 2010, 09:33 PM
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QUOTE (Disasterpiece @ Jul 31 2010, 08:47 PM) *
I want a serious relationship where sex is not an integral part. I want to avoid all that crap.


You're not the only one! It's why I set myself with a moral as to wait until i meet someone true, and is willing to stay that way. Any guy who says that we should have sex out of love, and doesn't mean it, I can't be with; I don't buy all that crap, anyways. It's how I've seen most people dragged into it, guys included.


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jacksparrow589
post Aug 1 2010, 09:07 AM
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QUOTE (Disasterpiece @ Jul 31 2010, 08:47 PM) *
I want a serious relationship where sex is not an integral part. I want to avoid all that crap.


Amen to that! Sex doesn't automatically equal love, but some people just can't seem to see past the animal instinct. I, too, find it sad that it's almost a "rite of passage" now. Forget that--I have waited and will continue waiting until I'm in a serious, committed relationship, and I'm almost out of my teens! (Yes, it's possible!) However, I think that Chiyo's point that hardly anybody enters a relationship thinking that it won't work out is crucial. I know that while I had no plans of ending a high school relationship that I was in when it started, when I saw the writing on the wall, even though he never pressured me to do anything, I was glad that we hadn't done anything.

As to issues of cheating and such--I know that this is a place to discuss teen sex, but I'd like to point out that it's not just teens who have issues with cheating, STDs, and pregnancy, though it could be argued either way that those issues are more prevalent among teens. I think peer pressure is definitely more of a factor, but I haven't been pressured as much as I'm sure a lot of kids have, so it's been pretty easy to just give people a sideways look and say no without any second thoughts.

This all very much comes down to questions of morals and maturity, and those questions (at least, the ones concerning morals) generally don't have definitive answers. As I've already posted my opinions on those, I won't repeat them here.


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Night Watcher Al...
post Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM
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QUOTE (jacksparrow589 @ Aug 1 2010, 09:07 AM) *
This all very much comes down to questions of morals and maturity, and those questions (at least, the ones concerning morals) generally don't have definitive answers. As I've already posted my opinions on those, I won't repeat them here.


One has to find definitive answers, otherwise certain aspects of life won't really make sense. I thought it over and I've come to realize I can't judge if a teenager that can't find the morals to act maturely on this intimidation while others tend to ignore it, challenging what it stands to represent.

Those who challenge don't pay attention to how it feels, while others who don't have the morals don't really find out until too little too late. This only proves how scarring the situation can be one time.

I've come to a bit of a better understanding, but stand by with a simple fact that teenage sex, before you're married, let that be known, is still dangerous. You never know how it will effect you, or the partner (and sometimes, partners), you're doing it with.

As to the act of mature decisions, as said before, if one doesn't have the morals, then it makes it hard to understand. This simple statement alone makes the unmarried teen vulnerable. This fact in mind, you have to look at the people, then at yourself.

I'm not trying to insult anyone, but when you do this, question how you grew the morals you have over them. Those teens who have had sex before marriage, and are posting on this page, this is not directed at you.

Anyways, what I'm saying is that if you do have the morals and they don't, question how you grew it. I grew it with religious beliefs and with a vow to my parents that I wouldn't. Yeah, you can call it lame, but I find it motivational so that way when I find the guy I wanna spend my life with, they won't worry about how the relationship is compared to how it might have been in high school.

I don't know about everyone else, but as long as you have something that keeps you going the way you are, I applaud you, whether you're with me or not. Determination is one thing you need to get through, and I can't go against what my way is anymore than you do.

If I've learned anything through the time I was gone, lustful people with ethics are a bit more dangerous than the averted teen mind...


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jacksparrow589
post Aug 31 2010, 08:08 AM
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QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
One has to find definitive answers, otherwise certain aspects of life won't really make sense.

Certainly! But people are largely products of their time and place, and while maturity doesn’t vary so much, morals and ethics, especially those about sex, vary widely from culture to culture and era to era. You just have to come to terms with that in a way that, while meshing with basic societal morals, also makes sense to you as an individual.

QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
I've come to a bit of a better understanding, but stand by with a simple fact that teenage sex, before you're married, let that be known, is still dangerous. You never know how it will effect you, or the partner (and sometimes, partners), you're doing it with.

I agree on that last point—you never know what effects sex will have on anyone the first time around. (Whether it's your first time at all, or your first time with a new partner.)

QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
As to the act of mature decisions, as said before, if one doesn't have the morals, then it makes it hard to understand. This simple statement alone makes the unmarried teen vulnerable. This fact in mind, you have to look at the people, then at yourself.

Bear in mind that maturity (even mental maturity) is very much a biological process. Teens don’t have fully developed prefrontal cortexes—the part of the brain that deals with decision-making and long-term planning—so it’s hard for them to see the consequences. However, morals can make up for this deficiency, as you’ve pointed out…

QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
Anyways, what I'm saying is that if you do have the morals and they don't, question how you grew it. I grew it with religious beliefs and with a vow to my parents that I wouldn't.

Hey, good for you! That you can cite the source of your beliefs/morals as your religion is great! I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I did develop a lot of my beliefs and morals during that time, but now, I’m more what you might call “spiritual” (I don’t identify with any one religion, and I’m rather secular about most things), so I don't adhere as strictly to what I learned as a child, but I feel my upbringing within the Catholic Church provided a decent basic framework. (At least, the beliefs did. The jury's still out on the people...)

QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
Yeah, you can call it lame, but I find it motivational so that way when I find the guy I wanna spend my life with, they won't worry about how the relationship is compared to how it might have been in high school.

Good point—comparisons are scary things. But you’ll always be making comparisons from one person/situation to another, even if it’s not sexual.

QUOTE (Night Watcher Alchemist @ Aug 31 2010, 06:25 AM) *
If I've learned anything through the time I was gone, lustful people with ethics are a bit more dangerous than the averted teen mind...

That’s why I hesitate to say “Do what feels right”—somebody will turn it around and use it as justification for something most people find reprehensible.


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von Hohenheim
post Sep 7 2010, 07:18 AM
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The whole point of having sex education is to inform children about the potential issues with having sex--it's not all fun and games all the time. Now if there are people who already want to have sex before having sex education, that doesn't guarantee they'll change their minds; you can warn people about the potential dangers of sex, and they'll still do it. However, there are people who won't do it, once they've been informed about it.

The problem with teen sex is that it often happens with people who are too ill-informed about sex, which is why I think sex education is necessary.

As for why it happens, I have no idea. There was once a girl on the Maury show who said she wanted to do it because she wanted a child. Probably because she wanted to prove how mature she was.


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