HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI
full metal alchemist
full metal alchemist
 



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My First Fanfiction: "plotting Of The Sins", Please read it all and judge! Thnx!
Hagane no Renzy
post Feb 25 2005, 03:03 PM
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--First of all--

Hi, I'm Hagane no Renzy (<--Renzy is the main character in my own manga) and this is my first post. And my first fanfiction. Please enjoy! Here's part 1.

"I'm getting sick of this Full Metal Shrimp! HEY!! Are you listening!?" The 14-year-old boy of no body shouted with rage. Lust sat in the dark room, looking down at the floor, as if she were zoned out. "Luuuuuuust...." The armor boy whined.

"Please do be quite. You can be a nuicance, you know that?" Lust stated. She looked over to the steel body and said, "Hmm. Good idea. Envy, you can transform back now."

"Heh, with pleasure." The young boy transformed into none other than Envy, one of the malicious Homonculus. He continued on. "This'll do it. I simply disiguise myself as the runt's younger brother. Good start, huh?" Silence then flooded the room. *Dong sound effect* (chibi Envy) "Awww...c'mon Lust!!! TALK TO ME!"

"OOoh, lookey!" an odd voice could be heard from in the corner of the room. Both Lust and (still chibi) Envy turned about to see Gluttony engulf two squeeling, fat rats. Envy gagged with disguist and threw a chip of wood at the fat one's head, shouting "STOP IT!!"


--

"ALPHONSE! For a guy who can't feel anything, you sure complain a lot on a long trip." Ed threw a wid chip at Al, who without even noticing, moved aside to dodge. Just after Ed threw it, he shuttered and held himself.

"Brother, something bothering you?" Al asked, overly concerned.

"Naahh, my ears are burning though. C'mon, we've got a lot more ground to cover!" he barked.

"But...ahh!" Al moaned.
...
"Al! If you don't stop complaining, I'll transmute you into a nice sandwich and then I'll have lunch!"
*fades out*
"Ih!--wait...That was a joke, wasn't it, Brother?"


*end Chapter one*


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Chiyo
post Feb 25 2005, 05:54 PM
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They layout is a little confusing and things are not explained in too great a depth.

However the story, although a short chapter, does make me want to read more and has the potential to be very interesting.


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Le Monkey
post Feb 25 2005, 06:23 PM
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confusing....


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darkangelslayer
post Feb 25 2005, 08:11 PM
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the first part was ok.


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I'm aka Anshi as dubbed by Celes *that can be used by anyone and everyone*
Celes x Anshi supporter XDD
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Hagane no Renzy
post Feb 25 2005, 08:13 PM
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That's only the beggining. Please continue to read.

CHAPTER 2

Overtime, the brothers Elric reached a small village. It was a wasteland town, and it appeared to be in depression. An old, beat-up sign could be read saying ARTENGARD. "Brother, look at this place...what happened here?" Al gave a serious look down at his older brother. Ed's eyes were overshadowed with rage.

"Al...it must've been a pack of rowdy State Alchemists...damn..." he mumbled as his usual aggressive self. He strut on, Al quickly following along. They saw some horrific sights on their walk. Poverty as far as the eye could see. Ed kept to himself, not noticing that Al had left his side.

"Hey Al, move it or lose it...huh?" Ed turned around. "Al?"

"Brother, over here..." Ed could hear his brother's voice in an ally. Ed followed his voice and saw Al crouched over. Ed peeked over the steel giant's shoulders to see a young child, about the age of five. He had a large gash across his side and was crying. Al's sensitive personality couldn't allow himself to leave the child there. He tenderly lifted his limp body.

"Brother," he insisted, "we need to take him to a hospital..." Al looked at Ed with concern.

Ed was thinking about how naive his brother could be. "Al...do you know how many more people are bound to be like this kid? In this state..." Ed's face twisted with rage.

"...Brother?" Al asked. Ed grabbed Al's armor hand and briskly walked out, thinking that they had to find the true source of the chaos.


--

"Not bad, Envy. You aren't as useless as I might've thought." Lust was watching from atop a wrecked building, Gluttony crouched behind her. Gluttony, to dim-witted to understand what was going on, kept nagging at Lust.

"Lust...? Where is Envy...? I don't seeee..." Lust gave a snooty look down at her comrade. She gave a sigh and looked back down at the streets, ignoring the fat Homonculus.

If you could see what Lust was seeing, you'd see a young boy with short cut hair and a light red sleeveless shirt walking down, with a smile and something hidden behind it.

--

End chapter 2


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--Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cruel Angel's Thesis
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Zio the Matt! The comedy/action anime series created by me and my good friends! Episodes 1-8 complete...care to take a look? See them for free at the forums!
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Chiyo
post Feb 25 2005, 08:17 PM
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Progressing nicely.


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Hagane no Renzy
post Feb 25 2005, 08:30 PM
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happy.gif Thnx for the comments!

CHAPTER 3

"Ah, Brother...where are we going? We are going to help this poor little boy, right?" Al begged. He wouldn't give up so easily.

"Don't worry Al. He's gonna be fine. We just need to find a spot to rest him...and some bandages," Ed rambled without looking back. Once turning a corner, he unexpectedly bumped into a boy about his age. He fell down, dragging Al and the boy with him. *imagine that chibi'd happy.gif*

The boy rubbed his head and moaned. "Ahh, please excuse me..." He opened his eyes and took a closer look at Ed. His eyes gleamed maliciously. "Hey! Aren't you, a... a State Alchemist!? Please, you've gotta help our town!!" He instantly got up and begged Edward.

Ed was still confused. He got up and said, "Uhh, yah, I'm an alchemist...why? Tell me what happened here, kid! And help us find a place where this injured kid can rest..." Al nodded silently.

The boy turned around. "Follow me." He led them silently, but without the brothers noticing, he held up his hand in a thumbs-up.


--

Lust saw the boy's signal. She smiled. She turned around and walked to a staircase leading inside the ruined building. Gluttony had a look of confusion on his face. His stomach rummbled loudly and he moaned. He then followed Lust down the stairs.

Once inside, Gluttony asked Lust, "Luuuussst...what is going on Luuusst?" The Homonculus was annoyed at Gluttony's stupidity.

"Keep quiet. We can't let those brothers get on to us. Envy will do what he needs." Lust smiled again, knowing exactly what would happen--or what she thought...


End chapter 3 (sorry for all the chapters, i need time to think)


--------------------
Quote of the Day:
"Zonkoku na tenshi no you ni...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare..."
--Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cruel Angel's Thesis
Zio Animated Series
Zio the Matt! The comedy/action anime series created by me and my good friends! Episodes 1-8 complete...care to take a look? See them for free at the forums!
Mi Familia:
Kit- HELLO~!
Go to the top of the page
 
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Hagane no Renzy
post Feb 26 2005, 04:08 PM
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chapter four

"My name is Amiliio. I can take you to my place," the boy said. Ed didn't quite care. Al, though you couldn't see it, smiled.

"I'm Alphonse Elric, little brother to the Fullmetal Alchemist," Al stated with a degree of pride. Ed nodded with a toothy grin.

"That's right! Edward Elric, the alchemic prodigy at your town's service!" Ed started laughing and after a few seconds opened his eyes and saw that Amiliio was way ahead of them. "Ah!? HEY!!!" Ed caught up to their new acquaintance. Al followed.


--

Envy...you sneaky bastard, Lust was thinking to herself. She slowly got up and walked into a seperate room. Gluttony followed without hesitation. She snapped her fingers and the room lit. In the center was a table with a fancy looking transmutation circle on it. Gluttony looked at it with simple curiousity.

"Lust? What's that forrrr?" he groaned. She walked about it, caressing the table in what would appear to be an insane way.

"We'll get the Fullmetal boy to make us a Philosipher's stone this time, Gluttony. We won't fail again. Remember last time, at the 5th Laboratory, we tried to get him to do what we wanted first-hand. Now, we'll use a slightly...different... approach..." Lust chuckled. Gluttony, stupidly, chuckled along with her, thinking about nothing but his next meal.


--

'Amiliio' led the Elric brothers into the same building that the homonculus where just speaking in. "It's not much, but it's my home," he said with grim humour. He led them in. The kitchen was small with one table, one chair and a kiln, and there was another room branched off from it with a small bed. A third room was locked. Amiliio sat down and sighed. "You might want to put that boy in bed...here," he said, throwing Ed a roll of bandages.

"...Thanks, we just need to help this kid and then we can be on our way. I'm a very busy kinda guy, as you might think..." Ed rambled on. Just then, as if on cue, shouts and screams of pain could be heard outside. Gunshots and splattering blood as well.

"Ih!? More rogue alchemists?" Al stammered. Amiliio put on a disgruntled face and opened shut his weak house door, leading the boys into the bedroom. All they could do was turn the lights off and keep quiet.

"So...this is why your town is in so much pain," Ed whispered. "Why are they attacking you guys? You're not Ishbalian or anything...what could they get from this?" Amiliio's face was overshadowed and he didn't answer.

A few hours later the raid ended. The three boys sighed with relief and Amiliio stated, "You guys would be wise to spend the night at my house. Early morning would be the best time to leave. Trust me, once those guys attack, they hang around at night...doing...ugh..." Amiliio walked into the kitchen.

Al felt very sad for him. "Brother...this is terrible! We can't leave Amiliio and this child like this--no, this very town...!?" Al looked into Ed's eyes.

Ed smiled and said "Don't get your loincloth in a knot, Al. I'll find out...something..."


--End chapter: Don't miss the next one! Battle begin! ooooo--


--------------------
Quote of the Day:
"Zonkoku na tenshi no you ni...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare..."
--Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cruel Angel's Thesis
Zio Animated Series
Zio the Matt! The comedy/action anime series created by me and my good friends! Episodes 1-8 complete...care to take a look? See them for free at the forums!
Mi Familia:
Kit- HELLO~!
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hidden_death
post Feb 28 2005, 06:56 AM
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yay!thats pretty good laugh.gif but....bright colors hurt my eyes ><


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Hagane no Renzy
post Mar 1 2005, 05:12 PM
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FINAL CHAPTER

It was late at night. Ed was having a restless night on the cold floor of Amiliio's home. Noises could be heard around all sides of the ruined house. Eventually, Ed awoke from his slumber in a cold sweat. He took a few deep breathes and calmed down, then took a look around. Something was out of place. "What the...? Hey Al? Where are you? Not here...?" he mumbled to himself. "Come to think of it...Amiliio isn't here either! What's up?" He quickly got fully dressed and began to search the house.



"So...that's your story then," Al whispered. He was in the locked room--the room with the transmutation circle on the table. Amiliio nodded with a frown.

"Mm hmm. The military is attacking our defensless village for no valid reason, and the only way we could fight back is with a philosipher's stone..."

Al's eyes brightened. He knew that his big brother could transfuse one with a proper human sacrifice, but that was out of the question. Al noted on this. "Amiliio, my brother would gladly, but we aren't about to sacrifice a human life for it--I'm sorry..."

Amiliio looked up with a hidden evil smile. "Ahh," he said, pretending to be suprised. "That's what Grandmother meant!" Al had a confused look (if you could see it). Amiliio continued. "You see, on her death bed, just before the raids came to town, she put her own sould into the making of this circle--litterally. She was the sacrifice for it...we just need an alchemist. She was the only one in town." Al was excited to hear this. I'm sure we could do this small town a boatload of good with a Philosopoher's stone...I can make one, Brother won't mind! Al naively thought to himself.

He nodded with an invisible smile. "Well, that changed everything! Amiliio, I'll gladly tranfuse one for you!" Al readied his hands over the circle. He started the transmutation. A bright, blue light and crackling noises ensued. After a moment of light, smoke enthickened throughout the room. Al looked about and eyed the perfect red stone on the table. He was in joy. He shouted, "Amiliio--it worked! Ami--!?' Al looked and saw not the 15-year-old boy standing there, but a chuckling Envy.


Al gave a gasp of terror. Envy cackled an d said "Well, thanks kid. I knew you were much more considerate then your rash brother. Lust!!" he continued. All Al could do was stand in shock and awe at the sudden appearance of his foes. Lust came down from the ceiling and grabbed the stone neatly. She smiled evilly and Gluttony came through as well. Three Homonculus against one alchemists-the odds were grim.

Al felt rage and readied himself with a battle stance. His brother wasn't around to help, so he had to fight himself. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be that easy. Gluttony began to slowly stalk up to a terrified Alphonse, when Envy stopped him. "No...he's mine," he whispered evily. Al instantly charged at the evil Homonculus.

Before he could deliver a punch, Envy jumped high into the air and landed behind the knight. Al turned and didn't see Envy but Ed. Al didn't know what to think. Was it his real brother or Envy? His answer soon came when "Ed" lashed at al with his pre-transmuted blade. "Ahh!" Al shouted, falling to the ground.



"Al!? AL!" Ed shouted from outside the alchemically locked door. He could hear what was going on and could safely assume that Al was in danger. He didn't know what kind of alchemy to use to break down the door, so he did what first came to mind: brute strength. He quickly transfused a fine cannon, and blasted the door down. Ed ran in to see Al lying defensless on the ground, with the the Homonculus standing around him. Seeing his little brother like that pissed a guy like Ed off the top. Ed shouted out "QUIT JERKIND AROUND!!!" and fired another cannon ball straight for the back of Envy. Luckily for the brothers, Envy was instantly blasted into the wall and the shock sent the stone flying out of Lust's clutches. It flew in the air and Ed went running for it, and crisply caught it in his white glove. He saw the cowardly villians scatter in differently directions as he ran to help Al up. "Ok?" he asked seriously.

Al simply nodded. He got up and the two split up. Ed ended up with Envy. "Heh," the shape-shifter laughed, "we meet again, Full Metal Shrimp. You're brother was kind enough to transmute us up a stone, but I see you have it now. Allow me to..." Envy quickly swung up his leg and slammed Ed in the gut, making the stone, again, fly into the air, "..take it back!" Envy swiftly grabbed it, but with a disgusting sound, let go again, feeling the bone-shattering affect of Al's punch. Envy got back up, disgruntled, shouting, "Hey! I already got killed once today by you freaks! I won't let it happen again!"

Lust and Gluttony showed back up with an vicious look in their eyes. Gluttony shouted "I'm HUNGRY!!!"

Lust evily replied, "Then eat your fill." Gluttony ran up but in time Ed transmuted a spike of stone from the ground, jutting into Gluttony's stomach. He was stuck there, in awe and looked down. He began to scream in an annoying tone. Lust knew that her two comrades couldn't finish the job in their state, so she began to lengthen her fingers in time. She lashed out at Al, but he transmuted a giant stone wall between himself, his brother and Lust. Lust grunted and easily sliced the wall in two.

She had and evil grin on as Ed and Al looked upon her in shock. How!? they each thought. She slowly walked up and said, "This is when it ends for you brothers...give me the stone! Which of you has it!?" she shouted angrily. Either Ed or Al had it, and slowly, the elder brother walked up. He held out his right hand with his eyes closed in a sign of defeat. Al gave a shocked look to him. Lust smiled and whispered, "Good boy." She opened his hand to see not the stone but a cleverly transmuted knife.

Ed quickly used his chance and stabbed at her, cutting itself into her chest. She fell, blood petruding from her mouth. Ed shouted to Al, and they flee from the scene, suprisingly leaving the three Homonculus injured.


Ed smiled as they reached the nearest train station. Ed grinned at his brother and asked, "So...you got a hold of that stone?"

Al chuckled and opened his armor. *chibi al with sweat* "Ih..!? It's gone, Brother!!!"

Ed got angry. Fast. *fade out* "WHAT DO MEAN YOU 'LOST IT!?' YOU IDIOT!!!"

"Sh-shut up! If you weren't so small then you could've caught it yourself!"

"DON'T SAY SMALL!!!"


-fin-

-Epilogue-

A bruised and angred Scar traveled through the town of Artengard, seeing many a sign of battle. He noticed the footsteps of one heavy-footed man, one light one and one barefoot. He sniffed the heavyh footed one and immeadiatly knew who it belonged two. He frowned and walked inside a nearby home, to see a small child in a bed. He saw that next to him were some left over papers. He walked over to them and unshuffled them, scanning them, and eyeing the phrase "Fullmetal."

"Fullmetal..." he mumbled. He clutched the paper tight in his hands.


--------------------
Quote of the Day:
"Zonkoku na tenshi no you ni...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare..."
--Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cruel Angel's Thesis
Zio Animated Series
Zio the Matt! The comedy/action anime series created by me and my good friends! Episodes 1-8 complete...care to take a look? See them for free at the forums!
Mi Familia:
Kit- HELLO~!
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hidden_death
post Mar 2 2005, 12:32 PM
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yay!awesome ^__^


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Hagane no Renzy
post Mar 2 2005, 02:33 PM
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Thanks! smile.gif


--------------------
Quote of the Day:
"Zonkoku na tenshi no you ni...
Shonen yo shinwa ni nare..."
--Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cruel Angel's Thesis
Zio Animated Series
Zio the Matt! The comedy/action anime series created by me and my good friends! Episodes 1-8 complete...care to take a look? See them for free at the forums!
Mi Familia:
Kit- HELLO~!
Go to the top of the page
 
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